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// The Pain Of Truth (Final) 
// Story: A Pony In The Wasteland 
// by Ribe_FireRain 
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Rainbow was staring at me, her gaze making me feel rather uncomfortable as I found no escape from it. She had been looking at me like that for the past hour or so and barely said any words. Her chest moved up and down under the covers slowly as she breathed through her nostrils almost as silent as death itself. 

She had barely said anything, not even when her friends came in to see her again. She never even broke contact nor responded to anything, and truthfully, it worried me. I had no clue what was going through her mind, but I had a feeling it was bad. Her expression was blank, her eyes glistening yet so dull and she was - wait...what the hell was that?

I had my attention suddenly drawn to her lower body, seeing something on the covers. It seemed to be spreading, running from her private quarters and down the length of the bed covers. It suddenly dawned to me what it was. She was bleeding! Heavily! My mind instantly set on panic mode as I saw her breathing intensify, soon drawing to rapid breathing.

Despite my condition, I got out of my bed, hurrying to her side and held her shoulders gently as I looked her in her eyes, tears being noticeable as they began to leak out of her ducts, running down her cheeks in streams. I screamed for help as I tried to comfort her, but the pain she was currently in seemed to put a bit of a spin on that, causing her to lose concentration and scream loudly as she began to cry with hot tears as pain ravaged through her body.

Before I could scream for help again, I heard the door push open and a nurse came running in, one with a pink mane and white coat with glistening ice-blue eyes that were set into action as she saw the heavily bleeding Rainbow Dash. She ran back out, presumably trying to get help, leaving me alone with Rainbow.

I held onto her, trying to calm her, but it didn't do much good. She was losing too much blood and fast! I felt like what she probably felt like when I was brought into Tenpenny Tower with my life hanging on by a thread of hope. If there was one thing I hated seeing, it was Rainbow in agony.

Only around a minute had passed and in moments, the nurse came running back in with a few other nurses, immediately set on helping Rainbow. All I could hear in my ears was screams, ones that made my blood run cold. My fears were beginning to come true. I couldn't even believe what I was seeing, and it hurt. I myself began to cry as I held onto her hoof, keeping my eyes locked with hers, refusing to break contact.

To my surprise, one of the nurses had to make me leave the room by forcing my hand off of Dash's hoof and out of the room, closing the door behind me. Shock was painting my mind along with slight anger that caused me to bang on the door, the screams still present from within the room. I turned slowly, not wanting to leave Rainbow but in the shock and pain I was feeling of knowing anything could happen to her at this point, I knew I had to. I needed to get away from the screams wheather I liked it or not.

I soon found myself walking through the corridor with a haunted mind, hearing nothing but screams replay in my mind, the sound still present in my ears like a symphony, unleaving. Passerby's just left me be, wheather it was from seeing something like me or my physical state and scars, I couldn't really be bothered to find out. Probably the first one. 

I just walked around aimlessly, finally finding myself in what appeared to be the waiting room of the hospital. Barely anyone was present apart from two ponies - a mare and stallion who took one glance at me before running through the doors in fear, almost as if they saw the ghost of the man I once was. Without a second thought, I walked out of the entrance of the hospital, despite a nurse who tried to stop me, but she decided to move away a moment after she got a look at my expression.

Outside, I felt the sun heat up my unusually cold figure. I didn't walk that far from the hospital, finding a nearby tree just out of sight of the hospital and collapsed against it, my emotions being released. The tears I've been forcing myself to hold back began to leak down my face like a broken water works and I cried out loud - something I haven't done since I was young, unable to stop.

With my heavy breaths, my freshly stitched wounds began to throb and hurt with growing pain. I sat upright against the tree and looked up to the sky. My tears still burned and even the beautiful scenery wasn't enough to lift my emotions to a more positive level. It was so different and more colourful than the many sand storms and dust-filled winds of the Wasteland, and instead of being as dead as dust, this place was thriving with life. It may of been nothing, but I don't think I deserve to be here, let alone be alive. 

I said before that I had no reason to be alive, and I won't especially if I lost Rainbow Dash. I just couldn't wrap my head around why she was bleeding. Was there something wrong with her? An illness? Something I didn't know of or she didn't tell me about? Or...miscarriage? I didn't know what it was and I didn't think it'd be good, either. Was it...I...no, that couldn't be right, either. Christ, if I was alive at the time, then maybe I would of know more about this one.

Billy had told me that Gustavo said he had injected her with Med-X the time they were in Bethesda after she started scrambling on the floor in pain, clenching her chest. I didn't really know much about anything, but if there was one thing I had a fair amount of knowledge of, it was medicine. Or at least enough to know that Med-X was known to have effects on unborn baby's, should their mother use it whilst pregnant. If I remember correctly, I substance within the things that make Med-X has an effect on the child, so obviously it has happened to Rainbow's unborn foal. 

Oh, shit.

Now I was even more worried. I knew that the chances of surviving a pregnancy were low if the mother had either been injected with or taken Med-X, and if Dashie dies, I'll be lost! I don't think I could find the will to carry on without her. Since Rainbow came into my life, she has grown to be something I was completely attached to, an inseparable part of my life.

My thoughts were halted when I saw one of Rainbow's friends - Applejack - come down the path heading towards the hospital. She noticed me under the tree and stopped in her tracks, instantly sensing my emotions. She came close to me, eyes never leaving me. This was the first time she had gotten chance to get a proper look at me. Her eyes made contact with mine, and I saw she wore a frown upon seeing them. The tears were still flowing but at a slower pace.

''Are...you okay?'' She eventually asked, although I could tell she already knew my answer. ''W-what happened? You look terrible.'' For once, I found a hint of concern in her usually hard and keen eyes.

''Rainbow...'' Is all I could manage, my voice broken and my sorrow clear in my voice. I assumed she took the hint, judging from her expression. She looked down for a second before looking back up, her sounding more cautious and worried than anything else.

''What happened?''

I sighed, hearing the screams in my mind again. It made me cringe. ''Rainbow Dash...I...I just don't know, Applejack! I mean, I have an idea, but it was just so sudden a-a-and horrible, I...I don't know if she'll pull through!'' I said as I felt my tears come harder from my tear ducts. 

''Whoa, slow down, now.'' She held up her hoof. ''You're still not sayin' why. What happened to Rainbow?''

''She was bleeding! One moment she is just looking at me like she was dead and then she started screaming and bleeding so heavily, I...I...'' I didn't finish. I couldn't finish. It was painful to even speak of it! Applejack etched back a pace or two, now looking shocked and scared. I really, really hoped she was alright, the last thing I wanted was to hear some bad news. I shouldn't even be outside, I should of been in there with her, standing by her side! For christ's sake, I love her! I loved Rainbow and I should be there with her, but I'm outside crying as if all didn't go well, and pretty plainly, it didn't! She could be and probably was dying from all of that blood loss and I can't do anything to help her! I just couldn't lose her!

I heard those screams, again and again they bellowed in my ears, haunting and torturing me. She sounded so horrible, in so much pain...I need to be there with her. No matter what. I stood up, Applejack watching me the entire time, those emerald eyes of hers piercing me like daggers. I walked down the path, heading to the hospital.

Upon getting there, I went through the doors as fast as I could and made my way back towards the room Rainbow was in. Oddly enough, I heard no screaming. I hesitantly pulled my hand away from the door a few times, eventually placing it on it and turning the knob, opening the door with a small creak.

When I entered, I immediately saw Rainbow Dash in bed with a heart monitor hooked up to her barrel and an IV connected with her hoof. She wasn't even asleep. She was just staring at the ceiling, her eyes appearing just as lifeless as her body. She also looked paler than she did the night before. Approaching her, I sat on a chair beside the bed. Her sheets had been replaced with new ones and she had an extra pillow to lay her head on, doubling her comfort.

I felt my eyes tear up again at the sight of her. She looked so miserable yet so beautiful. I placed my hand on her hoof, gently laying it out so I was holding it, stroking it with my thumb. Her eyes slowly panned so they looked at me as her miserable expression stayed. I didn't know what to think. Why was she so pale? Was it the blood loss?

''Dashie...I just...I just want to say I'm sorry. For everything. You're like this because of me and what I did. I love you and always will love you, you know that, but after everything that has happened between us, I can't help but have thoughts that it won't be the same forever. I mean, look at you, you're in a hospital with machines hooked up to you. You're hurt and are still hurting, I know you are, but I just wanted to ask you something.'' I leaned a little closer, nearly leaning on the bed. ''C-can you forgive me? I just feel s-s-so bad for everything, Dashie. Please...all I want is your forgiveness. I just can't and won't be able to live with myself if I don't know you do or you don't!''

She smiled softly. The first thing I've seen in her since we got back.

''B-B-Brady...y-yes. I-I forgive you. Y-you saved me, more t-than a few t-times. I still l-l-love you.'' She said as she weakly and slowly reached her hoof to my face, stroking me softly. I moved closer and hugged her, rubbing my cheek into her own. 

''Dashie, you have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that.'' I smiled as fresh tears streamed out of my eyes and dripped off of my cheeks. She chuckled weakly and slowly. ''I just want you to be alright, Rainbow. I love you so much, more than you'd know.'' I kissed her briefly on the lips, her hoof still in my hand.

She only looked on at me, eyes looking into mine. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. Suddenly, I felt her hoof feel weaker before Rainbow sighed softly, closing her eyes slowly as the heart monitor started to beep faster, the wavelengths becoming shorter and rapid. I took one look at it before I turned back to Dashie, seeing that she wasn't moving.

Oh, no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no!

''R-Rainbow?! Rainbow?! RAINBOW!?!?'' I panicked as I began to pump her chest after the heart monitor went into a constant bleep, indicating she was dead.

''No! Rainbow, hold on, you're gonna be okay!'' I reassured her, wheather she could hear me or not, I didn't care, I just wanted to get her heart pumping again. I kept on pumping her chest, not getting a single peep out of her. Moving to her mouth, I pinched her muzzle shut and began doing CPR to the best of my ability. 

I continued doing both CPR and pumping her chest for a good few minutes and I barely got a single reaction from her, let alone a breath. Was this it? Was this the end? My punishment for not being there for her?! 

All I could do was cry as I sat there, holding onto her limp form. Because of her previous low temperature, her body was already cold, but I didn't care. I just held onto her crying my heart out as I held her close to me.

This was definitely my punishment for not being here for her. I had just lost my closest friend. My love. My Dashie. Rainbow Dash. 

There was nothing I could do, now. I wasn't able to help her, and she was into all of this because of me.

The one I loved and cared the most about was gone.

The only sound filling the room was my tears as I weeped openly and heavily, choking on my sobs as I kept on whimpering,

''I'm sorry, Dashie. I'm so, so sorry...''