Yesterday, I walked away from the hero job. I handed in the resignation. Why? Because I can’t do it anymore! All I do is beat some bad creatures up and then go back home to discover MORE BAD GUYS! And I’m sick of it!
My relationship with Firefly is poor, just because everywhere I go some bad guy comes along, some crap happens! Cloud Kicker…I feel like I haven’t been a good friend at all in the last few weeks, Ashley…she’s the one link to Earth and I’ve only paid her a slight bit of attention.
I’m a mess! For a pony in a friendshippy world, I’m absolutely sucking at it! I now realize how much being a big damn hero takes it out of you.
Another cloud bites the dust! And another one down, and another down!
Yes, for the first time in 10404104104170429749210427 chapters, I’m actually working! Yep, Lord deliver us from the impending apocalypse!
“Yep, this is nice! Just honest non-saving-the-world work that earns money to pay the bills. Isn’t it just great?” I asked
“Uh…yeah! I mean, those times we were in trouble were MORE than enough for me” CK agrees
“Yep, from now on, no more heroism! Just plain hanging out with my best friends” I said
“Yeah! And this time Cheerilee will not escape my marking stamp!” CK says
“uhhhh…didn’t you already do Cheerliee in the first chapter?” I asked
“Yeah…but damn, I want a round 2! Her flank is an A+” CK says
“Have fun with that, last I heard, she went insane after like 1000 dates going wrong or something and then she had to get therapy after a foal asked her how she didn't have a special somepony” I said in thought of the schoolteacher
“Ah don’t worry, it’s me, Cloud Kicker! I’m a mare that can get ANY pony!” CK said
“Yep! And I shall be your wingpony! LET’S DO THIS!” I put my hoof in the air
“YEAH!” CK says
"YEAH!" I yell
“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Bulk Biceps shouts out of nowhere.
5 days later…
I’ve never felt so refreshed you know? I feel like a new stallion so to say, or maybe it’s that massage I got from Aloe and Lotus, I see now why Rarity goes there.
Speaking of Rarity, where is she? Or Twilight and the others for that matter? I haven’t seen them since they went for the Changelings along with Chrysalis. Maybe they’re coming back or are still fighting.
It’s actually awfully quiet without them…
SNAP!
I turn to see Discord in front of me with no regard for personal space.
“Hi Discord” I greeted
“Hello Lightning Bolt, we need to talk” Discord said seriously
“Discord, what’s up? You’re never serious…ever!” I said
“Listen, Fluttershy, Twilight and the others haven’t come back yet” Discord says
“Annnnddd….?” I urged him to speak more
“What do you mean ANNNNNNND?! It means the Elements of Harmony are missing, nothing has been heard in 5 days and I can’t detect a magic signal at all!” Discord says
“You mean--?” I ask as I get it…
“Yes, they’ve been captured and soon the Changelings will come here, and we need you to rescue them” Discord
“Yeah..” I say
“And if Fluttershy is too hurt not only will they feel my wrath but so will the one who was not there to help them, do YOU want that to happen to you? I thought you wanted Equestria safe, so do it! And besides, the voice of reason is ruining my reputation!” Discord threatens
He’s right, what have I been doing? I made a vow ever since I got here to make sure if it were in my power to save Equestria, I would do so.
So…why am I standing here? Will they kill the Elements and have Equestria?
“LIKE HELL THEY WILL! I WILL GO! NOPONY THREATENS EQUESTRIA AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!” I finished my thoughts
“Good, ride on! Go get em!” Discord got a cheering squad out of nowhere
I just run, like the four horsemen are right behind me…they better be alright or else there will be a massacre!
Back in Ponyville…
“Oh ho ho ho! Now that they’re all gone, I think it’s time to have my little fun!” Discord cackled
Suddenly, Angel Bunny and all the ponies gulped at once!
GULP!