Them Crazy Northerners

by Weavers of Dreams


On the Road Again

Derpy had gotten home in time to help finish making dinner after her talk with Twilight, and then she read the some of the latest Daring Do to Dinky and Amethyst before tucking them into their beds. Then she sat with a candle and paper as she went over her budget for her family reunion. Her hoofwriting was deceptively good, with a calligraphic style all her own, but that didn't mean much if she couldn't figure out a way to fit the reunion around her budget.
So far, she figured she could reuse old holiday decorations, not the skeletons in her closet, the park on the other side of town, and Tam could use the public theatre in the middle town. This way she could use her budget more on food and refreshments. But then... she didn't know how many were coming. The RSVPs might arrive in a few days, and the deadline was a couple months away, maybe her bills wouldn't cut so much into her budget. Her family could be forgiving, was forgiving, they'd understand. Wouldn't they? Oh, why did she have to take that medicine?
She buried her face in her hooves and groaned. Her family was nice, but very traditional, every year the reunion was a success, but this was the first time it had fallen into her hooves to pull off. Perhaps she could ask her friends for help. No. She had too much pride, especially after the townhall incident, she didn't need everypony thinking she was more incompetent. But she could ask Applejack for advice, that wouldn't be admitting anything.
The chiming of her grandfather clock made her start. She gasped upon seeing it was midnight. "Why? It's not even close to the weekend yet. I can't... can't do this. Oooh."
Derpy hurried to bed, not even bothering to bathe, she just needed to get to sleep now so that she wouldn't be disoriented in the morning. She was never late for work, but now wouldn't be a good time to start. They might dock her pay, and she couldn't have that, not now. She stumbled into her room, took off her uniform and dove under the covers in record time.
But before closing her eyes, she paused a moment to look at a picture on her dresser, forcing her eyes to align so she could see it properly. It was an image of a younger version of her, midway through her pregnancy with Dinky, and standing proudly beside her was a silver unicorn in the golden armor, holding her close to his side. A tear fell from an eye as it did every night as she spoke the same words she had for a long time.
"You would love our daughter, she's so happy. She takes after you in the way that she just wants to make every pony happy, and she's getting strong and smart. I've told her all about you, your kindness, honesty, and most of all your understanding. Then there's Amethyst, you would love her, she may not be born our daughter, but you know my family motto. Ahem... blood is thicker then water, but a name holds an iron grip. You always liked that, and I know you would have accepted her just like I have, she's helped me and Dinky so much, and her love is that of a genuine sister to her. It may had eaten my budget a little, okay... a lot, but it was all worth it to give Dinky the sister she deserves and she's so... helpful around... the house... she..."
And like all those other nights, Derpy fell asleep during her conversation with her favorite stallion. Her one-way talks always helped calm her spirit after rough days, and her sleep was without stress. It seemed like it was going to be alright.
* * *
She had forgotten to set her alarm, and she rushed from the house with a shriek, throwing on her uniform and skipping breakfast in her frenzy. Her wings beat furiously as she rose above the houses so she could make as close a beeline for post office as her eyes would allow. A multi-colored blur knocked her off course for a moment.
"Sorry, Derpy," Rainbow Dash shouted as she flew off on her own business with the weather team.
"No-no-no," Derpy gasped loudly, as she tried to reorient herself. Recognizing the Sugercube Corner sign, she took off at a breakneck pace. In no time she skidded through the office doors and timed in... only three hours late.
Hearing something banging the wall. The manager stepped out and saw Derpy almost in tears hitting her head against the drywall and plaster. "Late night, Derpy?"
Derpy froze and then dropped her head, letting her mane fall over her face. She nodded with a despairing sigh. "Yes sir. B-but I didn't mean it. I promise it won't happen again."
The manager just shook his head and rolled his eyes. He stepped up the machine and pressed a few buttons. "There. Just be sure you deliver all your mail today."
Derpy burst into grateful sobs and tried to hug her manager. But in her haste she missed and fell flat on her face. Not embarrassed in the slightest, she put her hooves together and thank him over and over again.
"Ahem," the stallion cleared his throat and tilted his head towards a mailbag with her name on it.
"Of course," Derpy said grabbing the bag and hurrying out the door and flitting onto the roof.
All the pegasus mail carries would stop on the roof to organize their mail, it was out of the way and they could talk for a few minutes. But that was only if they were on time. Derpy sorted the letters and packages with gusto, using rubber bands to bind then into clumps groupings. She was working so fast that that she didn't notice another Pegasus land behind her.
"Uh, hey, Derpy, I wanted to make sure you heard me apologize. I didn't make you late for work, did you?"
Derpy squeaked and turned to see the rainbow mare herself. "RAINBOW DASH!"
"Yeeaah, I'm really sorry Derpy, I...," Rainbow Dash was unable to finish as a bundle of letters was shoved into her mouth. She watched dumbfounded, as the gray mailmare then took off in a blast of wind.
"I deverf dat." She took the letters out of her mouth and removed the rubber bands to look through them. "Bills, bills, junk, oooh... heehee. What have you got to say today, Soarin?"
* * *
Derpy didn't bother looking at her own mail today as she zipped across town and over the countryside in her formulated method of fast delivery. No way was she going to take advantage of her boss's kindness, this was a one time thing only, and she would never forget to set her alarm ever again. She didn't even pause to say hello, just hurried on, until she arrived again at Twilight's castle. She was about to knock on the door when she noticed a bright red mail box off to the side. With a happy smile she pulled out her letters and stuffed them inside, closing the lid and pulling up the little flag.
"Do you like it?"
Derpy stopped and looked to see a smiling Twilight. This was her last delivery, other than her own house, and it be just plain rude not to speak with the princess.
"Yes," Derpy said with a smile. "And you made it bright red. My favorite color. For a mailbox that is. Mr. Rich has a green one and I tend to miss it a lot. I suspect his daughter moves it around on me just to make it harder."
"Why would a filly do that?" Twilight asked as she made a dramatic show of opening her mailbox, making Derpy giggle.
"I don't know, but my Dinky says she's not a nice filly. Hangs around with a... Silver Spittoon, I think it was. I hear that they're regular terrors on the playground."
"Why doesn't somepony do something?" Twilight asked she looked through the letters.
"Her father's rich," Derpy said with what she thought was contemptible wave of a hoof. "Rich Mr. Rich can't stich a switch for that little witch. That's what I hear Dinky and some of her friends saying."
Twilight couldn't help but laugh. "That's terrible, but so silly at the same time. Foals do some of the strangest things."
Derpy nodded. "I probably know that more than you. Even Amethyst acts like a little foal at times, bless her heart. I've never regretted her adoption."
Tiwlight gasped. "Oh my, I didn't know she was adopted."
Derpy folded her ears back and lowered her head dejectedly. "What exactly do you know about me, Twilight."
Twilight held her breath a moment in thought. What came to mind were her clumsiness, sometimes absentminded behavior, that she was a mother of two, was generally happy, and the townhall incident. She gave Derpy a sheepish smile and rubbed her left foreleg with the right.
Derpy sighed and turned around. "Don't bother with lunch this weekend. I'll just do what I've always done."
Twilight shook her head and ran ahead of Derpy. "No."
"What?" Derpy asked in shock, almost falling on her rear in amazement of the alicorn's speed.
"Don't you see?" Twilight began with a broad, sincere smile on her face. "We both need to have lunch now more than ever. I've always considered you a friend, but have gotten to know you. This will be the perfect opportunity."
Derpy looked away at the ground. "I don't need pity."
Twilight frowned and placed a hoof on Derpy's shoulder. "It's not pity, Derpy. I'm being a friend, and as the Princess of Friendship I hereby order you to come to lunch and talk with me."
Derpy cringed a bit but then managed a smile. "Okay, Princess Twilight. I'll do it."
Twilight watched as Derpy departed, slightly more chipper than before with a little bounce in her step. As soon as the mailmare was out of sight, she called for spike, who promptly appeared.
"Yes, Twilight?"
"Find out everything you can about Derpy."