After a couple of hours, having fun with the foals that battled against him, many of the kids' parents came around to take their child or children away. It wasn't until he saw that he was now alone.
"Well... this sucks." Deadpool spoke to himself, getting up from his seat.
Hearts and Hooves day is almost here, you know.
Ooh!!! Let's see if we can make some love!!!
WHAT THE F**K!?!?!? We're human, not ponies!!!
So? Haven't you heard of a Centaur?
"F**k that! We're not making another Tirek!!! We can survive without any b***hes on our love snake!"
Oh sure, just like how you though-
"Don't mention that again!!!"
Yeah, I wonder what are we going to go on Valentine's Day!
"Hm... recreate the Valentine's Day Massacre!?!?!?"
Uh... no. Let's be logical here, we can-
A loud whirring noise came right behind Deadpool, followed with an eerie green glow. Turning around, a huge, green portal was opened with a swirling vortex inside.
WHOO!!! A GLORY HOLE!!!
YOU IDIOT!!! That's a portal!!!
Loud honking was heard from the other side, followed by a car slamming into Deadpool, leaving him dangling for dear life on the windshield!!! Inside were two ponies: a yellow earth pony stallion with a rugged looking orange-brown mane & tail with a Mandolin for his cutie mark, and a cream colored pegasus mare with a brown, nearly Maud like mane & tail with a single tire on fire for a cutie mark, both screaming as she tried to hold onto the wheel with her hooves.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING!?!?!?" The stallion asked "IS THAT MARVEL'S DEADPOOL!?!?!?"
"I DON'T CARE!!!" The pegasus responded "WHERE ARE WE!?!?!?" Deadpool teleported inside the vehicle, appearing & taking the pegasus in his arms, reappearing with her in the back seat, buckled her in, and teleported back to the driver area, taking the wheel.
"Why my lovely couple," Deadpool spoke, driving wildly, crashing through a couple of buildings with ponies dodging out of their way. "Isn't it obvious: You're in Equestria!!!"
"...Equestria?" the stallion replied "Ha! Yeah right, I doubt we're in Equestria right now, right Sibsy?" He turned to see his companion in the vehicle.
"Of course Mando." Sibsy replied, turning to him. They both stopped and stared at each other; their eyes widened and their pupils shrunk.
"Sibsy."
"Yeah?"
"You're your pegasus."
"And you're your Earth Pony." They both looked down at their own new bodies, seeing that they no longer had hands or feet, or regular butts, but hooves and a tail sticking out from underneath. They both released a scream of pure terror!!!
"GTA RAMP!!!" Deadpool yelled, putting all his foot power on the gas, sending the car going super fast on an upside down wagon!!! Deadpool pulled out a CD and placed it in the car's radio & pressed the 'Play' button. Haddaway's "What is Love?" began to play. The vehicle miraculously drove on the underside and the vehicle almost flew into the air! A couple of ponies could hear the blaring music inside, and seeing Deadpool inside, behind the wheel, bobbing his head wildly with two other ponies inside, grabbing the inners of the strange machine, also bobbing their heads, but not like Deadpool's, for their faces had fear in it, not fun! When the car landed, Deadpool turned the wheel a full let turn, causing the vehicle to roll on the floor, flip around six or seven times, and land in between two empty carriages as if it were parallel parked. Both Mando and Sibsy shivered with fear, holding very tightly onto the insides of the vehicle.
"WHOO!!!" Deadpool yelled "NOW FOR THE MONEY!!!"
"M-M-money?" Sibsy asked, still shaking.
"Of course! GTA Logic: Perform a jump and God gives you money!!! WHERE'S MY MONEY, GOD!?!?!? Don't make me recrucify J.C. Again!!!"
"I don't feel so good." Mando spoke. They opened the doors to their car & exited, seeing the vehicle needed A LOT of repairs on it, something that, by the looks of it,their insurance would barely cover up. Mando tried to balance himself as his cheeks puffed up, covered his mouth with his hooves, ran into a bush, and puked! Sibsy herself, went over to Mado's side and patted his shoulder when he finished.
"There There," she spoke in a soothing tone I'm pretty sure that this is a dream that we may be having."
"A dream?" A familiar woman's voice asked "I assure you that this is no dream." The couple looked up and saw, flying down & touching on the floor, was the Princess of the Night: Princess Luna. "You two seem new here. Tell me, is that... thing yours?"
"MOONCHEEKS!!!" Deadpool yelled, teleporting next to her.
"...Deadpool, why am I not surprised?"
"You know each other!?!?!?" The couple asked at the same time.
"Of course!" Deadool replied "Mooncheeks and I have had some crazy adventures, haven't we?"
"Quit referring me as 'Mooncheeks' you buffoon!" Luna replied
"You know you love it!"
"I hate it!"
"Oh yes you do! You love it as these two ponies!!!"
"No I- wait... is today what thy subjects call 'Hearts and Hooves Day'?" Deadpool pulled out his cellphone and looked at the date.
"If you mean Valentines day, then yes!!!"
"Valentine's day!!!" the couple yelled together
"Our date!!!" Sibsy yelled
"Everything's ruined!!!" Mando yelled
"Ruined?" Luna asked "What do you mean?"
"We're not from around here, your majesty," Sibsy replied with a bow "but we were both going out for a date when we appeared here!"
"And we have no idea what to do now!" Mando added "Everything was planned out from the start!"
"Our Valentines day together is ruined!" they both yelled together. Luna saw their eyes watering up a bit with their lower lips hanging over their upper lips. She looked back at Deadpool.
"I can't believe I'm saying this," Luna spoke with regret "Deadpool, can you-"
"WITH PLEASURE!!!" Deadpool interrupted! He picked up the couple by their tails and teleported away!
The three found themselves in the park of Manehatten, where the city has been decorated with lovey-wuvvey stuff. Deadpool set the two at a table inside the city's park, where other couple were around, doing their own stuff.
"Psst," Deadpool whispered "Mandopony: I've heard all of your stuff and I know how much you and Sibsy love each other. To get the good stuff, read the poem I've sticked under you're a**hole."
"...WHAT!?!?!?" Mando yelled. Deapool teleported away, leaving the two alone. Sibsy had a bit of a blank expression on her face, not sure how to comprehend everything now.
"So," she spoke "one minute, we're driving in California, the next, we're teleported to Equestria as our pony selves where we meet Marvel's Deadpool, who happens to live here by the sound of it, and he's helping our date."
"...Seems like that." Mando replied. Sibsy turned around and flapped her wings a bit.
"I can't really explain, but this feels... natural."
"I feel the same."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. I guess it must be because, well, I enjoy the show and you're the lead story board artist, we made our pony selves and, I'm guessing, we feel natural being our own original characters."
"I... guess that makes sense." Mando felt something under his flank area and turned to see: it was a piece of paper. Mando pick it up and looked at it: it was Deadpool's poem he should read. "What is that? A poem?"
"Um... yeah, it is."
"Can you read it?"
"...I don't really know."
"Please?" Mando looked at his love, who's eyes seemed to flutter with each blink.
"...Alright. Let's see how this goes: 'Your eyes, they flicker like a Sandalwood Sage Sunset. Your hair flows like Fresh Cotton Linens, hung to dry on the deck. Grandma's Apple Cinnamon Spice is the scented candle I would describe your mouth. And you're nose... an unscented emergency candle... for when the power goes out.'" Both Mando and Sibsy awkwardly stared at each other, then the poem.
"Did... the writer of that poem really just used scented candles to describe his love?"
"Looks like it. Can't real blame him though, have you ever went through a scented candle store or section without smelling ANY of those candles?"
"...Fair point there."
"And that's not all!" Deadpool yelled, teleporting back to the two. "To liven up more of these love poems, I've replaced random letters in the middle of words with apostrophes! For example: It Is Never Ever Over, My Lover Of Clover." Deadpool stood there and remained silent.
"Well?" Sibsy asked
"Got it! 'Tis Ne'er E'er O'er M'lo'er o' clo'er!"
"...What?" Mando asked
"Or! We can do what most people in the world now!" He teleported away and reappeared with a microphone & wearing a costume that can only be described as... Kinky. "We can sing about how much we want to do it! Innuendoes, of course, will be a lot more easier to hear than in the last 10 years!"
"WHAT!?!?!?" The couple yelled together
"How about the Song "Blow my Whistle?" ♫ Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby, Let me know?♫ Or how about the Ying-Yang Twins "Whisper in your ear"? ♫ Hey how ya doing lil momma let me whisper in ya ear, Tell ya something that ya might like to hear: Got a sexy a** body and yo ass look soft, Mind if I touch it and see if it's soft? Naw I'm just playin less you say I can and I'm known to be a real nasty man and they say a closed mouth don't give in and I don't mind askin for head. Ya heard what I said, we need to make our way to the bed, just wait 'till you see my d**k! Hey B***h, wait 'til you see my d**k!♫"
The couple's mouths dropped as low as they could, hearing those stuff Deadpool sang about. Their mouth were brought back up, and they both growled at the Merc! In a flash, they both pounced onto Deadpool and beat the s**t out of him!!! Mando grabbed a random guitar and began to slam it on Deadpool's chest, followed by Sibsy using a pipe, who swung at his face & legs!!! They both slowed down, seeing Deadpool's body twitch like an insect.
"Now that he's gone," Sibsy spoke "we should take care of the body."
"Got it." Mando replied
2 minutes later:
The couple threw Deadpool into a dumpster in an alleyway.
"That takes care of him!" Sibsy spoke, wiping her hooves off together.
"I can't believe Luna put HIM in charge of our date!" Mando yelled in anger "Did she purposely wanted our date ruined!?!?!?"
"I hope not! If she did, oh, I'm going to-"
"Hello there!" A cheerful voice replied. The couple turned and saw the married couple themselves: Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. The couple seemed to have a romantic stroll across the park, enjoying each other's company and love for one another. Both Mando and Sibsy seemed to be relieved that they could meet two other characters from the show, even though 'Meeting Princess Luna' fulfilled one of their bucket lists.
"Honey," Shining Armor spoke "this is suppose to be our Hearts & Hooves day, remember?"
"I know honey," Cadence replied to her husband "but I've never seen any ponies like these before. Are you new here?"
"...We are." Mando replied
"Why do you ask?" Sibsy asked
"You two," Sibsy replied "are... just... so CUTE TOGETHER!!!"
"...We are?"
"Of course! I overheard you two are having a terrible date, is that right?"
"It has been!" Mando replied
"Honey-" Shining protested
"Oh hush!" Cadence replied "I know how you both feel life, and that was when we were reminded of our anniversary. A good friend of Twilight helped us, made us a romantic dinner, and even performed a love song with the help from Discord."
"I thought the friend was Discord." Mando whispered to Sibsy.
"What was his name, Honey?"
"Oh! Him?" Shining armor replied, waving a hoof under his chin "I believe his name was... Deadpool! That's it: Deadpool!!!"
"DEADPOOL!?!?!?" Mando and Sibsy yelled in unison
"You've meet him?" Cadence asked
"They did!" Deadpool yelled from the dumpster. The lid opened and Deadpool fired himself into the air with his maniacal laughter, before falling onto the floor with a loud 'SQUEAK!'. "I'm okay!!!"
"Good old Deadpool, it's good to see you again! Care to explain why you were in the dumpster?"
"You could I was... in the Dumps!!!"
*Ba-Dum, CRASH!!!*
Wow... and I though your joke with Applejack was bad.
"You!!!" Sibsy and Mando yelled in surprise and fear.
"That's right! Quick healing factor!!!"
"This is quite a surprise!" Shining Armor spoke, a bit surprised but finding it pleasant.
"Get outta here!!!" Sibsy yelled "You ruined our date!!!"
"...Are you sure?" Deadpool replied
"You did!" Mando yelled, growling a bit "Our date became awkward REALLY FAST and your... music! That was AWFUL!!! We only enjoyed beating you up!!!"
"Uh huh."
"Oh yes!" Sibsy added "How you wept in pain and how Mando slammed you with that mandolin on your chest!"
"Or how about how slammed his head & legs with that pipe!" Mando added
"Never had I felt so young-"
"And how much I loved you." The couple stopped as they heard Deadpool giggling with a freaked out looking Cadence and Shining Armor.
"...Holy Crap! He's right!!!"
"Told you!" Deadpool spoke.
"Wow!" Mando spoke "He did got us closer!"
"I... now feel kinda bad for beating him up." Sibsy spoke in a bit of a guilty voice.
"Don't be!" Deadpool spoke holding up a bag "This will help!"
"What are yo- OMIGOSH!!! DUCKY!!!" Deadpool pulled out a Rubber duck squeaky toy that shined on it's own! Sibsy took the duck out his hand, placed the toy in her hooves, and began to pet it, almost acting luck Gullem and/or Smeagol from both Lord of the Rings & the Hobbit Trilogies.
"She loves ducks?" Cadence asked, a bit weirded out by Siby's affection for the rubber duck toy.
"You wouldn't believe it!" Mando replied with a chuckle "But that makes her so special."
"And for you, Mando," Deadpool spoke, pulling out a Mandolin "I got you this!"
"Is that... my Mandolin!?!?!?"
"It sure is!!!"
"Oh sweet!!! Wait... how did you get it here!?!?!?"
"MrAquino's Deus Ex Machina bulls**t."
"... Who?"
"Selfie!!!" Deadpool grabbed the couple together and quickly took a picture with the two, Mando giving a look that spoke 'WTF!?!?!?' and Sibsy hissing at him! "No, I must go!!! MATRIX!!!" A huge explosion came from right below him, sending Deadpool straight into the air, and leaving some singed hair that caused the rest of the ponies' mane to stick right up & the front side of their bodies to be blackened.
"That was... strange." Mando commented "Right Sibsy?" He turned, only to see Sibsy still holding the rubber duck toy.
"Ducky..." she spoke halfway psychotic.