"Welcome, everypony, have you gotten comfortable? If not, please take a moment to do so."
"That's right, get comfy, because we're going to tell you a fantastic tale. It may take awhile, so it pays to be seated or lying down."
"Oh, but we haven't introduced ourselves, have we? This is my husband, Shining Armour."
"And this is my wife, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. We're..."
"Ahem!"
"What I meant to say is 'this is my wife, Cadence."
"Better,"
"We're coming to you from the great, newly-restored Crystal Empire, or as some have taken to calling it, Crystal City, where the Crystal Heart helps to spread all things positive throughout our fair Principality of Equestria."
"But we're not alone, are we, Shining?"
"Not at all. We also have other established and married couples joining in on the tale from their cities and towns via Telepathy."
"It's the great advantage of being so well-connected, Prince Armour,"
"Oh Windy, you're jumping in ahead of time again,"
"Ha-ha! You know me, always charging in with or without a plan. I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me by that nickname over the Telepathy, though."
"Oh, sorry dear. This is my husband, Windwalker Azure."
"And my lovely wife, Aerial Azure."
"We're transmitting to you from beautiful Las Pegasus in Western Equestria!"
"We're ready here too,"
"Ah, that has to be the Patriarch himself,"
"Let them introduce themselves per the plan, Windy."
"Ooh, point taken. Please go ahead, old friend."
"Gladly, my friend. This is my wife, Verdant Sweet Pepper, the real heart of our home and farm."
"And this modest fellow is Verdant Redwood. I chose him as my husband."
"Ahem. We're coming to you from Verdant Fields near Hoofington in Western Equestria."
"Excuse me, is it our turn yet? I still don't quite know how this works."
"I think it is, honey-buns,"
"Yes, go ahead over there. Also, thanks for looking out for Twily and her friends so much, even though they probably don't noticed it all the time."
"It's our pleasure, Prince Shining Armour. Oh my, I'm blushing!"
"Lets get started, shall we? From Ponyville in Central Equestria, this is my wife Cup Cake,"
"Oh yes, and my husband, Carrot Cake. Did I do it right?"
"You did an excellent job, Mister and Missus Cake."
"Thank you, Princess."
"No, thank you."
"Ah, yes, joining in the festivities from here in Canterlot are my perenial partner, Fleur de Lis,"
"And stallion-about-town, Fancypants."
"Well done, Love."
"Thank you kindly,"
"Well then... Aren't the Shadows in as well?" Cadence asked.
"It seems they may be too busy focusing on the psychic network," Windwalker said.
"Well, I should have expected as much, given the range. It really would have been easier to get together here in the Crystal Palace,"
"Easier, but also harder to respond quickly to what went down, don't you think so, Captain Armour?"
"Now that I think about it, you're right, Redwood. Now then, since we've made our introductions, should we explain what we're doing for our audience?"
"Marvelous idea," Sweet Pepper said. "After you, Cadence dear."
"If you really wanted to, you could..?"
"It's not my place," Pepper said. "You are the Princess of Love and Light, after all."
"She's right, dear, and isn't this all about Love and Light?"
"Yes it is, and great segue too!"
"Thank you,"
"You see, dear audience, ever since Twilight and her friends helped to protect the Crystal Empire from Sombra and retrieve the Crystal Heart, rumours of what that very Artifact can do have spread throughout Equestria, and perhaps beyond. In particular, ponies are interested in the spreading of Love. Isn't that right, Shining?"
"Right. And it's sometimes scary what some ponies will do based on a rumour or urban legend like that. And since we're talking about Hearts and Hooves Day--"
"And the first one with the aurora from the Crystal Heart visible from coast to coast,"
"Yes, well, that's one of the more critical details, isn't it, Wing Commander Windwalker?"
"None other -- and as we all know, it's during such events that ponies, mares and stallions alike, do things they wouldn't normally be crazy enough to try."
"Such as approaching a secret love whom they have admired for some time. Why, it took ages for Shining here to get up the nerve to ask me out,"
"Time and my friends' help, but I'm glad I did."
"In any case, we'll be telling you all about what happened to certain ponies, about whom you might be interested, on this most auspicious of Hearts and Hooves Day," Cadence said.
"For your convenience, each story will have the ponies involved named in the title," Redwood said.
"That way, you can experience the stories you like," Sweet Pepper said.
"And mostly in the order you like," Cupcake said.
"That's right, but if the same pony gets listed more than once, pay attention to the time of day in the title, too," Carrot said.
"That way you don't get mixed up by accidentally traveling in time," Aerial said.
"So sit back and relax or grab your crash helmet and pads, because it's bound to be a heck of a ride," Windwalker said.
"Because here it comes," Cadence said.
"Third Gear OSS: Sharing Hearts Is Magic starts now!" They said together.