//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4 
// Story: How I Got Your Mother To Love Me 
// by Evowizard25 
//------------------------------//

Sorry everyone for this late update. I had a case of writers block. I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

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The sun's beams fell upon his scales, bouncing off in a glittering show. Spike sat at the opening of the cave enjoying the warmth brought to him. He slowly worked his muscles, stretching them out. 'It's nice to have some relaxing time alone,' he thought. 'Especially since last night was rather…tiring.' He chuckled a bit and licked his lips.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash. Spike had to close his eyes for a moment. "Wow!" A voice said. "Even after all this time, it still saps a lot out of me to get here."

Spike knew that voice. He rubbed his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them. There stood a really light purple unicorn. "Dinky?" He said. "You're here early."

Dinky Doo just smiled up at him. "Well, you are my favorite customer." She said, giggling.

Spike lowered his head right in front of her. "Dinky, you're a mail pony," he said. "I'm not technically a customer." Dinky just rolled her eyes. "So, how has Ditzy been doing?"

Dinky's smile faded. "Well," she said, nodding her head. "She's been getting better. Most of her injuries have healed and she's getting over her illness. The doctor's assure me that she'll be right as rain in a couple of weeks."

"Good to hear." Spike said, pulling up. "I rather miss having her come crashing into my cave day after day."

Dinky raised an eyebrow. "Oh, did you now?" She said.

Spike's eyes widened a bit. "Not that I enjoyed seeing her crash," he started, trying to find a way out of his predicament. "What I meant was, I miss the company."

Dinky just stared firmly at him for a moment, before chuckling. "I took no offense by it." She said. "Mother always did have trouble watching where she was going. I've told her time and time again to get glasses, but she won't listen to me. Why…"

"Dinky!" Spike said, startling the unicorn. "You're doing it again."

Dinky couldn't help but blush. "Sorry," she said. "It won't happen again."

"That's what you said last time," Spike said, smirking. "And the time before that."

Dinky gave him an annoyed expression. She used her magic to lift a few letters over to him. Spike grabbed the letters. "Now, there," she said, before turning around. "That it's for today. I'll just go and punch out now. Say hi to the girls for me." She turned her head back to look at him and smirked. "I'll just leave you be. Last night must have been awfully exhausting."

Spike couldn't help but blush. He opened his mouth to answer, but Dinky teleported herself out of the cave. 'Confound that girl.' He thought. No sooner then she had left, then his three triplets come came rushing over to him. He had no time to react, as they went careening into his nose.

The girls landed harshly onto the ground, while Spike clutched his nose. "I knew we shouldn't have been flying that fast." Jessebelle groaned. "I told you, but did you listen? No!"

"Hey," Ruby said, getting up out of the pile. "You didn't have to follow me, but you did."

Jessebelle got up and faced her. "Well, I wasn't the one that lead us right into dad's nose." She said.

"Girls." Spike spoke up, trying to get them to stop. He placed his hand in between them. "Stop this pointless bickering at once."

The two girls lowered their heads. "Sorry, dad." They said.

Spike looked over to Sapphire, who was holding back tears. "Sorry, daddy." She said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Spike lowered his head and nuzzled her. "You didn't," he said. "I'm perfectly all right." He checked her over, trying to see if she was hurt. "Are you in pain?" Sapphire nodded and lifted her left front hoof. He picked her up. He brought her back into the cave. Gently, he placed her down on his hoard of gems as he went back into his supplies. He quickly found the bandage strips. He hurried back over to her and wrapped up her hoof. After he was finished, he kissed it. "Better?"

Sapphire nodded. "Thank you, daddy." She said.

Spike nuzzled her again. "No problem, my precious jewel." He said. It was a little nickname he liked to call his children, now and again. "Remember to keep off this hoof. It's nothing major. It will be better within a week." The dragon looked over to his other two daughters. "Now, how about I tell you more of the story."

Ruby nodded furiously. "Yeah, tell us." She said.

Spike smiled and gently patted her head. "Calm down," he told her. "I'm sure you will all enjoy this one."

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Twilight put her empty sacks onto her back. She needed to get more supplies for her upcoming classes, so she intended to get that over with. She turned to Spike. "I'll be gone for a while," She told him. "So, I've left some snacks ready for you in the kitchen."

"Got it." Spike said.

"Don't go and burn this house down," Twilight said. "Celestia won't be pleased with that."

"Like I'd ever do that." Spike scoffed. Twilight just eyed him for a moment. He sighed. "I'll be careful."

Twilight smiled. "And remember, Lollipop is coming over today," she said. Spike's head perked at this. "So, keep her company until I return."

Spike smiled. 'Me, alone with Lollipop.' He thought. "I will," he said, enthusiastically.

Twilight chuckled. "Bye," she said, heading out the door.

Spike waved her off, before closing the door. "Alright," he said to no one but himself. "I got to get this place perfect." He rushed over to a pile of books and picked them up. In the blink of an eye, he put them back into place. Each one as neat as ever. The little dragon went over and grabbed a brush. He sped around the library, clearing away all the dust bunnies and such around. When he was through, he let out a sigh and wiped his forehead. "That's all of it." He then turned towards the door. He gasped. 'The handle!' He rushed over and began dusting it off. Suddenly, the door opened. Spike was too frantic and concerned for the doorknob, that he didn't realize he was dusting Lollipop, until she started coughing. 

"Spike, that's enough." Lollipop said, raising a hoof to her mouth to try and stop herself from coughing.

Spike blushed and stepped back, with the duster behind his back. "Sorry, about that." He said. "I got carried away."

"Yeah, I know." Lollipop said. She looked around. "Where's Twilight?"

"She went off to get more school supplies." Spike said.

"School, school, school." Lollipop said, rolling her eyes. "I swear, that's the only thing that goes on inside her head."

Spike wanted to say something in Twilight's defense, but he didn't want to argue with Lollipop. They stood quietly for a moment. "So..." Spike began, trying to break the stillness. "What now?"

"We could read," Lollipop said. "There's nothing much else to do here. Unless, you'd like me to dress you up."

"Reading it is." Spike said, dashing to the cabinant. He could hear Lollipop giggling behind him. He loved that sound. He quickly grabbed one and brought it too her. "Here you go."

"Creatures of the Everfree Forest." Lollipop read the title. "Why would I need to read that? I'm not taking a biology class." Spike quickly put it back before fetching another one. 'She'll love this one.' He brough it over to her. "Extreme stunts." She eyed him for a moment. "I'm not into that kind of stuff." Spike went back and grabbed another one. 'This could help.' He presented it to Lollipop. "Interspecies relationships: The Ups and Downs." She reeled back. "Why would we need that?" Spike looked like he was about to pass out. 'Okay, definetly to forward.' "I said, I"m not into biology." He sighed. 'Dodged that mistake.' Lollipop headed over to the book case. "I'll choose one myself." 

Spike ran over to her side. "I can help." He said.

"So far, your choices have been terrible," Lollipop said, making Spike lower his head in shame. "I'm a lady and those books weren't made for ladies." She turned her head to look at Spike. She sighed and nuzzled him a bit. "I"m sorry for snapping."

Spike couldn't help but blush when she touched him. "N-n-n-no problem." He stuttered. He went back and grabbed the ladder. As Lollipop was going through books, Spike started to climb. "So, what book do you need."

"Something about history." Lollipop said, looking through another two books. She used her magic to place them in a neat pile.

Spike immediatly ran up to the history section and scrolled through the books. "Ah-ha." He said, picking one out. "Got one." He was so excited about pleasing Lollipop, that he pulled it out to quickly. He fell of the ladder and right onto the unicorn below. 

The both groaned. "Next time," Lollipop said. "Be more careful."

Spike smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." He said, getting up.

The book that he had picked, was lying on Lollipop face. She pushed it off and read the title. "Well, I certainly can say I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition." She said.

Suddenly, three Earth ponies, with red uniforms and hats, came barging into the room. A certain dramatic music played. "Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition." The lead pony said. "Our chief weapons are suprise, suprise and fear. Our two weapons are fear and suprise and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are fear and suprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fenatical devotion to the Princesses. NO! Four." He stopped himself, trying to recollect his thoughts. He raised a hoof to quiet everyone down. "Amongst our weapons." He stopped for a moment. "Amongst our weaponry are such as fear and...I'm come in again." The three ponies rushed outside the door.

Spike and Lollipop stared at each other for a moment. "What just happened?" They said in unison. 

"Say it." The lead pony said, sticking his head in through the door.

"Say what?" Lollipop asked.

"Say what you said before," The pony said. "About not expecting us."

"Why?" Spike asked. "It doesn't make much sense really. We don't want to to deal with you."

"Anyways, we didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition to come bargin into here." Lollipop said, before putting a hoof over her mouth.

The music played again. "Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition." The pony said, as he and his cohorts came bursting in. "Our chief weapons are..." 

"I know already." Lollipop spoke up.

"How dare you interrupt me." The Earth pony said. His coat was a light brown, while his mane was a much darker shade of brown. "Cardinal Biggles. Put interrupting a Cardinal on the list of heracy acts." The other pony nodded. His coat was the same as his, but his mane was black as night. He had a large mustache on his snout. "Now, Cardinal Fang, list the charges."

Cardinal Fang stepped foward he looked similar to the Cardinal Biggles, but was a little larger. "You are charged with the act of heracy against the Princesses." He said, before taking a steps towards her.

"No, not yet." The first pony said, pulling him back. He then came forward. "How do you plead."

"I don't understand what I"m accused of." Lollipop said. "And I'd never do anything against the Princesses."

The ponies laughed. {Diabolical laughter}

"We shall soon change your mind about that." The Earth pony said, moving his hooves about frantically. {Diabolical acting} "Fetch, the soft cushions." Cardinal Biggles went over and grabbed a cushion. He went over to Lollipop, but Spike stepped in his way. Cardinal Fang tackled him and held him in place. The leader just stared at Spike. "Don't worry, I, Cardinal Cardinal, won't hurt her...much." He smirked.

"Wait!" Spike said. "Your name is Cardinal."

"Yes." Cardinal said. "What of it?"

"Isn't that, you know, redundant." Spike said.

"No it isn't." Cardinal said. 

"Uhhh, should I do it now, sir?" Biggles asked.

"Do it." Cardinal said. "Ignore the dragon and do it." Biggles smilled and started laughing. He poked her with the cushions. "Confess! Confess! Confess!" He kept on demanding.

"It's not working." Biggles said, stopping.

"Did you get all the stuffing up one end?" Cardinal asked. 

"Yes, my lord." Biggles said, handing over the cushion.

Cardinal grabbed the cushion, before throwing it to the ground. He eyed Lollipop. "She's made of harder stuff." He said. "Put her on the confy bed."

"Comfy bed." Everyone else said. 

"Look, we forgot to bring the comfy chair." Cardinal said. "So a bed will do." The other ponies lifted Spike and Lollipop and brought her to the bed. Once they place her there, the Cardinal smirked. "Now, you shall confess."

"No, I don't feel like it." Lollipop said. 

"How about now?" The Cardinal asked.

"Nope." Lollipop said.

Before he could say anything else, something started to ring. "That's it." Cardinal said. Biggles handed him a phone. "Hello." They could hear the faint sound of someone talking. "Ah, yes." He stopped it. "Pack up boys, we're off." The Earth ponies were out of the door, like a shot. Cardinal turned around at the entrance. "We'll be back, or we aren't the Spanish Inquisition." He closed the door shut.

The two were silent for a moment. "What just happened?" They both said.

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The three girls were giggling and rolling around on the floor. "I'm serious, that did happen." Spike said.

"Yeah right." Ruby said.

"I believe you daddy." Sapphire said, looking up at him. Spike smiled and stroked her hair.

"I can honestly say, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition." Jessebelle said.

Suddenly, a dramatic music started to play. Cherry Pie leaped out of the pile of gems. "Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition." She said. "Our chief weapons are...are..."

Cardinal stuck his head out. "Suprise." He said.

"Suprise and...um..." Cherry Pie said, tapping her chin.

"Fear." Cardinal said.

All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "Giver her a chance to do this on her own." She said.

"I know, I know." Cardinal said. "I'm just trying to help her."

"A Python is best at improve." Pinkie Pie quoted. "That's what you told me."

"Yes, but help can be acceptable." Cardinal said. "So, don't go there and use my own family tree against me."

"I'm apart of this family too." Pinkie Pie shot at him.

Cardinal sighed and nuzzled. "Of course you are." He said. Pinkie Pie giggled. "How could I forget?"

"Well..." PInkie Pie started.

"Anniversaries don't count." Cardinal said.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Cherry said. The two parents looked at her. "I think I got it." She turned around. "Our chief weapons are suprise, fear, ruthless effefiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Princesses and nice red uniforms."

The two gasped and picked her up. "She did it." They exclaimed, before kissing her cheeks.

"I always knew you had it in you." Cardinal said.

Pinkie Pie wiped her eyes with a hankerchief. "I'm so happy." She said. She hugged the little filly to her chest.

"Hello." Spike said. "Not that I want to interrupt, but HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!" He yelled the last part. "I've been up for hours."

"Well, I can explain." Cardinal said.

Just then, a gray pony, with a tan mane came in. "No, no, no." The Earth pony said. "There will be no explaining here."

"But Uncle..." Cardinal started.

"No, I won't have any of this foolishness." The Earth pony said, before looking at me. "Alright, author, focus on me."

"There isn't an author." Spike said. "This is real life."

"And you would know." The Earth Pony said, before turning back to me. "Now, end this story now."

The Earth pony came over to me. "You know the readers are going to be frustrated you broke the fourth wall and stopped this chpater." I said.

"No need," The Colonel replied. "We Pythons are rather famous for that. Including Pinkie Pie. She's made a fine addition to the family."

"Yes, I can imagine that she'd get along nicely." I said. "But, still, you can't just go around stopping chapters."

"Shut up, critic." Colonel said, putting his button on my chest. "I can do this for as long as I want. I can even do it..."

"FOREVER!" Pinkie Pie popped out into the room.

"That's excellent." Colonel said.