Chapter 27: Gonna
“You are one of them?” the voice cut through the thick silence.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “No sir, I don’t believe so.” My voice felt loud in my ears, like I was in a coffin too tight. Also, the fact that I tended to speak in a similar way to him, all formal and stuffy threw me off.
“Your words betray you, youngling.”
I bristled at that. Youngling indeed.
“I know enough,” I shot back, unable to still my tongue. I knew I shouldn’t have griped, he was company of the prickly sort.
“Nay you do not. Listen.” He beckoned with a wizened finger. “You may think you know enough, but you do not. No one does.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Allow me to demonstrate,” he muttered, flicking his fingers in front of me. He waved them hypnotically. Sparks flew from his fingers that lit the air before him with brief points of illumination before dying out.
“Magic,” I stated, unimpressed.
“Indeed,” he replied sitting back as if he had accomplished something of note. “Now how do you think I did that?”
“You probably had some touch paper or some manner of pyrotechnics hidden from sight.”
He waggled a finger at me.
“And if I didn’t?”
“Well possibly some sort of naturalistic mechanism to produce the same result.”
“What if it couldn’t be explained, what if it was magic?”
“Absurd. If I can’t explain it now, it’s simply because I lack the capacity, not because it cannot be explained. Given enough information and time, I could explain it.”
“What if you never explain it, what if it does not have an answer?”
I blinked at him. “Then it is simply a phenomenon which occurs but does not have an answer. I don’t need to know exactly how gravity works to know that an apple will fall from my hand when I drop it.”
He sighed.
“Wily bairn. Could you not open your mind to see more than you see now?”
I smirked. “If I open my mind too much my brain will fall out.”
That was one of the last conversations I’ve ever had with him. My grandfather, I mean.
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You know, now that I think about it, my dad was kind of the polar opposite of my grandfather. While my grandfather tended to be a measured man, taking everything in his languid pacing, slow, methodical and thorough, my dad was of the excitable type. Running around, dashing from project to project, thinking of this, tinkering with that. Here there and everywhere. My dad called him ‘Pops’ but I could never get used to saying ‘Granddad’ or referring to him in any other less formal way. Honestly, being with my dad after visiting grandfather was like visiting Disney Land after seeing the museum. Kind of ruins the pacing, I guess.
After Tempora’s visit, I took a trip to visit my dad who was still recuperating from the dream-walking experience. For once, it felt like I wasn’t thrust into a different mode of pacing. It worried me.
“Hello, son,” he called out from the bedside. I glanced around the room. There were flowers gathered in the small glass vase next to his bed. A couple of books were stacked on the bedside table, but other than that I missed the messy net of electrical wiring or scribbles on his notepad and no paper or parchment scattered anywhere! I didn’t know where to start.
“Hey there, Harmony,” he continued. If he noticed my pause he didn’t show it. He patted the side of his bed giving the covers a wide sweep of his arm to invite me. A shiver of foreboding crept up my forearms. I was nervous. When he was like this I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know, it was strange to feel any other emotion apart from exasperation when I dealt with my father.
…I realised it was not entirely unpleasant. In fact it was too pleasant. It was wrong.
Gingerly, I sat down on the bed, feeling the spring give in slightly. Gees, with springs this soft my father would be in a fit. He loved the feel of hard springs in his bed. He told me once that the strength of a bed spring directly correlated to the strength of one’s back. I remember being particularly snarky that day. Needs citation, I had grumbled and we both laughed.
I felt a little disconnected here, unsure of what to say or do. How does a normal family start their chat without an imminent crisis or explosion?
“So,” he gently urged. “How was your day?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it. I shrugged.
“Same old, same old,” I answered back. “Tempora gave me some crystals and told me that it had something to do with the fate of Equestria and all that.”
My dad blinked at me and chuckled softly. Softly! He never does that softly or subtly! I glanced back at him, my hands unable to find the right place to settle. I shifted them uneasily from my lap to the bed and back again.
“Well Harmony, you’re your own man now, you proved that quite sufficiently in your last… challenge.” He gave me a pat on the back. “You’ve done well.”
Abruptly I got up.
“I-I have to go.”
He gave me a sad smile. It was too much, I couldn’t even look into his eyes anymore.
I had my father back, but I can’t help but feel I’ve lost him as well.
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Luna and Celestia met me halfway to my humble abode. It was a few hours until sunset.
“Harmony!” they cried out. “Come play with us.”
I stopped and turned quickly. Hopefully they didn’t see the tears. I rubbed at my face furiously.
I felt one of them nudging my leg. No, stop it! Don’t do that!
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” I sniffed. “Allergies.”
“What? What’s an allergy?”
Oh, right.
“There’s something in the air that makes me sneeze a lot.”
Celestia came around and peered at my face in concern. I shied away.
“Oh no!” Luna cried, tugging at my pants. “Are you sick?”
I felt guilty lying to them, but I stuck it out anyway.
“Ah no,” I admitted, trying to lay their fears to rest. “It’ll be over soon.”
Celestia gave me a weak smile. “Good, because Moth-Mom says it’s very serious when ponies get sick.” Her horn sparked. “I could try to heal you!”
I quickly waved my arms. “Oh, no, no, no…”
Her eyes went round, there were faint edges of tears.
Oh for pony’s sake.
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Word to the wary. Don’t try to snap to a tune in the shower. You don’t want to know what happen–
You do? Oh for–
Right, here’s what happened.
“Harmony! Let’s play.” Remember this?
Actually, this is the second time they’ve said it. I blacked out for a few moments there when Celestia almost poked my eye out with another one of her healing spells. She told me if I inherited the throne, she’d want to be a physician. Always wanted to help ponies. Plus, she told me happily, alicorns lived a very long time so her medical knowledge would be the best in all of Equestria. I must admit those were some pretty lofty goals. I smiled at that, and even though I didn’t know what she did with her healing spell, I told her to keep at it and continue helping ponies. Ah, the new generation truly inspires confidence in me.
Hang on, I’m talking like an old man aren’t I?
Never mind. You want to know why you shouldn’t snap your fingers in the shower right?
Well Celestia, Luna and I merrily trotted back to my house. Luna clambered on my shoulders (oof she was starting to get a little heavy). I told her something to that effect and she smacked me on the head and told me that a gentleman does not comment on a lady’s weight. I told her that I was a rogue scoundrel and I shall have at her! I teetered and tottered for a few dangerous minutes before Celestia wanted to join in. Then Luna and I joined forces in a deadpan expression.
“You’re too fat,” we both chuckled to her mortified expression. Then I relented and let her ride me for a while. Truth be told they were both getting waaaay too heavy for me to carry. Unless I started weight training or something, I was in danger of falling down.
When we got to the house I noticed the door was ajar. We all knew what that meant.
“Discord!” Luna cheered, but quietly. I nodded giving both of them a wise tilt of the head.
“Yes, listen my young Padawans, we must approach this with much care and patience.”
I heard the door creak open.
“Or we could just go in,” I muttered belatedly as Celestia shot me a sheepish look even though Luna was the one who had darted in.
Discord was napping on the couch.
With silent footsteps, I approached ‘sleeping beauty’. Each hoof step from Celestia and Luna on the wooden floorboards made me wince and eventually I picked them up in exasperation as they giggled softly. I rolled my eyes but I kept going, albeit slower with my bulky cargo.
Closer… closer…
We froze as Discord shifted and muttered something. Sweat trickled on my forehead and I gulped nervously. He settled down again and we all sighed a silent sigh of relief.
Just… a… little… more…
I was almost upon him. I leaned over, about to blow on his face. I already had my evil grin plastered all over my face.
Then the floorboard creaked.
Discord cracked a mismatched eye open, focusing on me and smirking.
“Nice try,” he said. “You were so close to surprising me.”
I feigned disappointment.
“Dang, I thought I had you this time…” I trailed off. I looked down, then glanced back up to see Discord inevitably following my gaze to the two fillies in crouching position below the line of sight of the couch.
“PLAN B!” I yelled.
“Curse you, Harmony!” he yelled, shaking his paw at me in fury as Celestia and Luna pounced on him, finding his weak spots and ticking the bananas out of him.
“Mwuhahahahaha!” I cackled fervently, bathing in the glory of victory few supervillains could dream of. So caught up I was in my own laughter I failed to realise that Discord was no longer giggling helplessly or begging for mercy.
My laughter died away as I became aware of three sets of eyes trained on me.
I raised my arms slowly. Then I pointed to the table.
“Peanut butter, jar of cookies, cake!” I shouted in rapid succession. Then dashed away as if the room was on fire and the floor was made of lava.
“HARMONY!” they all yelled after me.
“I REGRET NOTHING.”
And that was how Equestria was made– wait. What the heck was I talking about?