//------------------------------// // That Trapped Within // Story: Is Immortality Really Worth It? // by Nadake //------------------------------// Rain pelted Twilight as she stood on the mountain once more. It was no natural storm, nothing so powerful and malevolent could be thought of as natural. It was the raw, primal fury of the world. It was nature lashing out, chaffing under its constraints. The sharp crack of thunder roared an instant after the flash of the lightning struck, the storm raged and ranted in a demented frenzy above her. How fitting. I suppose that is as good an analogy as ever I shall receive. Twilight thought, idly flinging a stone out into the raging wind. The wind hurled the rock ahead, and in another brilliant flash the rock was shattered by a falling bolt of electricity. Oh, stop being so… pessimistic. After all, you’ll never be alone again. You have me, so why do you need any of those idiots? Twilight blinked slowly, ignoring the nagging voice. It had been almost a month since the voice had finally been given a body, and in that time, Twilight had thought. Mostly, she had raged and ranted over the unfairness of life, and the cruel treatment that Celestia meted out to her when the only thing Twilight had wanted was to be loved. But she had also thought about that thing inside her. It was an anomaly, a parasite. It hid in the dark corners of her mind, feeding off her doubts and fears, her anger and her sadness. Every tear she shed was only a drop to whet its thirst, and her cries were a symphony. Of course, the others had noticed. Even as unobservant as they could all be at times, and with the looming nuptials, they could hardly help but to notice. The events of the last month flashed by, each event highlighted in her memory. Fluttershy had been the first to suspect something; she had never really forgotten the events of the ill-fated sleepover. She had done a sterling imitation of one of her hawks. The little pegasus would simply stare at Twilight, worry and a deep heartfelt weariness evident. Every now and then, Fluttershy would catch her speaking to herself. Her face would blanch slightly, looking away and biting her lip. Once or twice, her other friends had noticed, and they had stared. But none of them had said a word, never mentioning their observations. Until the night of the wedding, where Princess Luna had ambushed her. For a moment, the monster had thrashed, its vile words washing over her like the tide of fetid pus from an infected wound. Twilight had shaken her head, and by sheer willpower, banished the voice to the dark corner of her mind in which the vile thing lived. “Twilight Sparkle, we would have a word with thee. Would thee consent to walk with us?” Twilight hadn’t missed the reversion to the more arcane method of speech, and the anxiety of the speaker. “As you wish my Princess.” Her soft voice rang out, barely audible over the boisterous party behind them, courtesy of Ponyville’s Premiere Party Pony. Luna turned, and with Twilight walking calmly after her, set off away from the party. Somewhere in the thronging crowd, Celestia was doubtless once more congratulating the happy couple. Twilight shied away from the thought, the memory still a gaping wound in her heart. The sweet smile, the sparkling joy in the ancient eyes. "Nothing brings joy into life like sharing it with the pony you love." Twilight had frozen, every muscle locking into place at the words. Pained disbelief, fear, and an almost uncontrollable hatred battled within her mind, tearing her heart to shreds. The thought that the Princess, her Princess, could say something so cruel hurt the mares battered soul. If She thought that to spend life with the pony you loved was the greatest joy life could bring, then why was Twilight not enough? Why was she, the Element of Magic, the single most powerful creature in Equestria barring only the Goddess diarchs, not enough for Celestia? “Twilight Sparkle, We can see that something is bothering you nearly to distraction. We ask of thee, speak. Tell us what is wrong?” Luna stopped, only a few feet from the Everfree Forest. Somewhere, deep in those trees, stood her ancient home, the seat of the Royal Sisters powers. It had been abandoned, but even now, almost a thousand years after it had entered its sleep, power still echoed through the stone halls. What’s wrong? How about the little fact that your sister treated us like we were dirt. Evidently we were only good enough to be a student, but it would seem that having actual importance is just beyond us. Quiet “Dearest Luna, whatever could you mean. I am as well now as I have ever been.” The soft ring of truth echoed behind the words to Luna’s senses. It was a little known, if commonly assumed, fact that an alicorn could almost taste deception. Twilight knew that fact well after living with, and observing, Celestia for years. No matter how trivial, the Princess always knew when a falsehood was spoken. It only stood to reason that her sister would share the talent. However, the simple inability to lie did not preclude the misdirection of the immortal. For example, though Twilight was in a state of almost constant mental torment, and engaged in a very real battle to retain the control of her on mind, her physical body was quite well. In fact, the constant mental exertion had sculpted her body, shaving away the excess mass that had stubbornly clung to the mare. “Are you sure Twilight?” Luna asked, her voice losing a great deal of the stress and with its departure, so too did the formal tone dissipate. “We, my sister and I, are worried about you. Your friends worry as well. You have been… distant. The few times that you have been seen outside your room these last weeks, all have noticed your… increasingly erratic behavior.” Well, that’s a very nice way to tell someone that they are insane, don’t you think? How often do I have to tell you to be quiet? Well, since you know I’m right, why should I stop telling you? It won’t change what has happened. Silence. You may inhabit my mind, creature, but you are not me. As you wish master. The voice disappeared, its subservient tone a mocking reproach to the little unicorn. “Erratic behavior? Oh no. I have merely taken to speaking to myself to help clarify ideas and study the thoughts in a different manner. While not normal, it is not necessarily erratic either. It is not without precedence, nor is it behavior that I have not exhibited before.” “Twilight.” The worry in the Princess’ tone was what tipped her off. Princess Luna was a trickster, a patron of the arts, the mind, and dreams. While she didn’t delight in the difficulties of others, nor did she particularly concern herself with them. This wasn’t Luna. “Please, tell me what happened in my sister's audience that affected you so greatly?” Oh, now that is a very good trick. We almost didn’t see through it. It would have been far simpler without having to listen to your inane babbling at the same time. Now though, if the Princess wants to play like this, then I suppose I must oblige her. We. We must. I am in control here. You are merely an annoying parasite that I cannot spare the time to deal with for the moment. Now be silent. “Would your sister not tell you? Then I suppose that I must. It is simple, in truth. I was a fool. In my ignorance and hubris, I sought to dethrone one of the mighty gods. Silly of me really. In the thousands of years that she has lived, how many times has a pony told her of their love? There must be dozens, perhaps hundreds. Why would one orphaned little mare be any more important. I was but a child to her, not a pony in truth, just a project, a toy for her to play mother to.” “Twilight, I truly doubt that she ever thought such a thing. It would be beyond cruel to treat another pony in such a way.” “No. It would be cruel to not see how much it hurt me to bare my soul. Compared with the difficulty, the pain of rejection was negligible. I never expected the Princess to care, to think of me as anything more than a filly to cuddle up to and comfort. Even if I waited years to tell her, what does that matter? It must pass like the batting of an eye to you. You are immortal, how could you ever notice the fleeting lives of the ponies near you? We are but blades of grass to you, aren't we. I must go, but could you take a message to your sister for me? It will be the last intrusion I make upon your time and mind.” “I, yes. I will take her your message.” “Good.” Twilight leaned in. The Princess froze, body tensing as Twilight pressed their lips together. The kiss was brief and gentle, no urgency or passion. There was only the bitter taste of sadness on her lips, and the Princess tasted that clearly. Twilight pulled back a moment later, then leaned forward to the ear of her beloved. For a moment, her will failed her, and Twilight caved. As she buried her head in the soft, billowing mane, a tear rolled from her eye. "Goodbye, Princess Celestia." A gentle whisper of power washed through the clearing, and Twilight disappeared. The teleportation spell was neat, no excess energy was used, no blinding flash of light. One moment she was there, soft breaths washing warm and sweet over Celestia’s ear, and in the next, she was gone. It was the guise Celestia had taken that had given Twilight the idea. Everypony knew that emotions affected magic, it was the first lesson that any unicorn learned. “Remember Twilight, if you do not control your emotions, then they will control you.” That was her first lesson under the care of Princess Celestia, and it was the spark that ignited the idea. There was no need for her to even have the wretched little things. If she didn’t then she wouldn’t feel like her heart was being ripped out of her chest whenever she heard Her name. Twilight looked out at the small town below her. Then she turned to the north, facing the ancient forest that bordered the town. Pines and old growth oaks, they were old. Very old. The trees had grown there since long before the Sister’s Palace had been built, and stood to this day. Nopony ventured into the deep woods of the Everfree, all feared the wild things and dark things that stalked through the trees. From the petrifying cockatrice to the rampaging manticore, dragons, basilisks and the horrors that ponies only whispered of. Ponies feared that even the naming would call up terrors that they hoped with all their hearts didn’t truly exist. Twilight grimaced in distaste, knowing exactly the creatures that lived there. Focusing once more, Twilight began to weave her teleportation spell. With her emotions kept firmly in check, her precision increased. There was no flash, no power lost. Twilight used only what was needed to move herself through the space between worlds, no power wasted, coming off as heat and light. Celestia had finally taught Twilight one final lesson. When you are in control, you waste nothing. She materialized just outside the boundaries of the old Palace, the wards and shields around the old fortress making any magic useless. The spell would wash against the shields, breaking like waves on the shore. They would also mask any magic’s within the walls from outside senses. No matter how strong the magic was, nopony outside the walls of the palace would know what happened within. She reached the Hall of Harmony, facing the central dais. On the dais was a mirror. A massive sheet of silver gilded glass, without mar or blemish. The old mirror was part of the reason for the dark nature of the forest, and the reason the old Palace had been abandoned. The mirror would capture the spirit, the essence of a pony, rip it from their mortal body. They would be bound, eternally, to the mirror, kept in immortal torment. Then why would you go there you fool? You can’t hope to control the mirror. Even if you could, it’s too powerful, it would destroy you. Why, yes, it will destroy you. I however, will be quite happy on this side of the Veil. What! The voice nearly shrieked in panic, suddenly afraid of the unicorn It lived within. Twilgiht walked to the mirror, slowly drawing closer and closer to her goal. NO! The voice screamed, writhing at the chains that bond it within Twilight. The unicorn let the creature free itself, opening her eyes. A voiceless scream echoed through Twilights mind, the creature within being forced from her body. Twilight turned from the mirror, as the creature fell into the well of darkness. The creature had been everything she hated, her fears, her anger, her love. Every fleeting emotion, every pointless yearning was gone. Cold reason stood in its place. If Celestia would hide her feelings behind a wall of ice, then Twilight would simply have to shatter that wall. “Princess. I will make you mine. Mine for all of eternity.”