I watched from the windowsill, listening intently as she cried her ptetty lavender eyes out.
It tore my heart to pieces...
"Why?" She sobbed looking up at her reflection as if to ask the mirror. "Why do they even bother showing up? 'Sniff' if they're just going to boo me off stage they may aswell not even come but they do it anyway. 'Sniff' why can't they just leave me alone."
I continued to listen as she poured her heart out to her reflection, how long had this been going on? No way it was just the last three shows, this had been happening for a while. I placed a hand on my chin puzzling as I listened.
"I-it's not like I haven't tried." Trixie continued wiping tears from her eyes futilely as more dripped down her cheeks onto the desk. "I stopped referring to myself in third person 'sniff' I lowered the number of fireworks, stopped bragging about that incident with the bear which never happened." She banged her hands on the desk as she hit her lowest point. "What more do they want ?!"
I watched as she slowly looked up at a couple, of pictures taped to the mirror... One was of her when she was little, putting ona magic show using a kit her father had bought her for her birthday... I remembered that, she was so happy she didn't even care I was the only one who showed up. Another was of our class, perhaps she did remember me after all but if that was the case why did she pretend not to earlier? And finally, she took the third from it's place giving a small smile, tears still in her eyes... It was a picture of her mother.
The woman in the picture looked a lot like. Trixie, but she was more mature, dressed in a lavender suit and had shorter more grey hair then silver, and speak black glasses, the kind you see on executives and sequiturs. "'Sniff' At least... You always understood." Trixie said clutching the picture in her hands "I miss you mom."
Those words struck me like a black iron arrow to the heart... Was she homesick? No, granted she'd moved far away from home to come to this school as had I, but... No... This was deeper...then a sudden realisation washed over me as the pieces clicked together in my mind making me go wide eyed for a moment. "Oh my god." I whispered to myself then ducked as. Trixie turned to the window, damnit she'd heard me.
"Who's there?!" She asked in a mixture of anger and fear. "Stay away from me ok?! Just leave me alone !" She yelled out the window before returning to her seat, I cautiously peaked my head up again after I thought it was safe, Trixie was smiling at the pictures again, tears still rolling down her face... Even when she was sad, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen... But damnit if it didn't eat me up inside to see her this way.
Then.. I pricked up my ear as Trixie cleared her throat.
And with a deep breath... She started to sing.
The tune was slow, Soft, Like a lullaby. And the way she Sang it, I could almost imagine the music that accompanied the words in my head perfectly.
"Siiiilver wings, whisper to you. hush, hush your dreams await. Cloooose your eeeeyes and I will follow, into our kingdom of magic and snooooooooow." I didn't dare look away, nor did I pay attention to anything else, she was amazing. "Castles of gold and shiiiiining copper, knights in armour, courageous and booooold. Aaaaall is calm, the people tender, they'll shelter us from all the sorrow and coooooooold."
There was a pause. She turned a key in music box three times... That same melody.. Just as I had imagined it, slow and piece full, something you could fall asleep to. I realized I was leaning in too far and ducked back down before she had a chance to notice me. Listening as she continued. "Sleeeeep my dear, and have no fear, for no one can find us theeeeeere. This land is safe and weeeell protected, the people are kind and their judgement is faaaaaaair... There aaaare no dungeons, there aaaare no chains, the outcasts are welcomed with gleeeeee, for here we're the same and no one's to blame, the stars all shine bright for the whole town to seeeeeeee." She spread her arms out wide and suddenly stopped, I ducked as she gave an "Oh!" Of surprise.
Peaking my head back up I saw her bent over picking up the shards of a broken ceramic case meant for a powder puff which instead had odd bits of string, beads and a needle and thread, Trixie put them onto the desk and picked up an old wooden music box which had also fallen onto the floor hugging it tightly, whispering to herself "please don't be broken, please please please."
I watched as she turned the key... And gave a sigh of relief as it played flawlessly, it was perfectly fine.
Then I gave a. Audible "Phew." And instantly ducked as Trixie turned again, 'rats!' I thought covering my mouth.
Trixie grabbed a broom from her small closet and stepped out of her wagon cautiously.
"H-who's out there?! Show yourself!" She yelled. I tried my best to stay quiet and still, I had always been good at sneaking around dispute my abnormally tall stature but dang it she just sounded so scared I couldn't just leave, I'd be worrying all night if I'd scared the poor girl half to death, I stood up and walked towards her slowly.
"Ok relax it's just." Before I could finish. Trixie smacked me in the face with the broom knocking me into the Side of her wagon where the impact made me stumble and trip of a rock, landing face first on the ground and managing to knock myself out.
"Uh oh." Trixie said throwing the room back into her house and picking me up by the shoulders, doing her best to carry my unconscious body into her wagon.
A few hours later I woke up with a pounding headache, it didn't help that as I sat up I hit my head on the ceiling. "Ow!" I cried out clasping a hand to my head.
"Careful!" Trixie exclaimed rushing over to me with. A small bowl of cold water and soaking a towel in it, pressing it to my head. "That's a nasty bruise, I'm not surprised you gave yourself a concussion." Thinking to myself 'if memory serves YOU were the one who hit me in the face with a broom.' I realised it better not to say that less I invite her to mention me being right outside her window with no explination, the last thing I wanted was to be branded a stalker. "Does it hurt?" She asked.
"What this? I've had hangovers worse." I said chuckling, though that was probably only funny to me since it had been a while since I last saw Trixie and she probably didn't remember me that we'll.. Great now she probably thinks I'm an alcoholic. "I'm kidding." I said as she gave my a raised eyebrow. "I don't drink honest."
"Right." Trixie said sceptically "and I'm just suppose to take the word of a guy I found hiding outside my window." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously as she tended to my head injury.
"Right, good point." I replied, too rational for my own damn good.
"So um." Trixie began. "H-how long were you out there?" I stammered nervously for a moment, then took a deep breath.
"We'll um... You see after the show I kinda followed you home to try check if you were alright." I said not looking her in the eye. "Then I heard you sing and OW!" Trixie tensed putting pressure on the bruise on my head before backing away slowly.
"H-how much did you hear?!" She asked, this was new she almost sounded like Fluttershy.
"Not much. " I admitted "just the first two verses then you stopped when you knocked over that music box." There was a moment of silence, Trixie hugged herself staring at the corner away from me, leaning on the wall, there wasn't exactly anywhere she could go to get away from me considering the size of her little practically one room wagon. "Y-you sounded... Beautiful." I finally worked up the nerve to say.
"Oh.. I uh.. Thank you." She replied nervously.
"Hey I gotta ask." I continued. Trixie looking a little lamer looked me in the eyes as I did her, it was rude to talk to someone and not look them in the eyes. "Back at the show, why didn't you open with something like that? I personally enjoyed your entrance.. But if your previous breakdown was anything to go by." She suddenly slapped me cutting me off.
"I did not have a nervous breakdown!" Trixie yelled in my face. "I was just... Upset." She said crossing her arms and pouting.
"Oookaaaay?" I said "my apologies... Anyway you clearly want to be a crowd pleaser... Why not sing like you did just then? The audience would probably love you."
"We'll.. Um... I." Trixie rubbed her arm nervously "T-Trixie.. Th-that is to say I... Um... Have.. Stez fus." She muttered the last two words so I couldn't make them out.
"Come again ?" I inquired.
"I... I have... Stez fus." She repeated.
"Diiiiidn't quite catch that." Trixie the blurted out.
"I have stage fright ok?!"
My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped, I cleaned out my ears to check I 'd heard that right. "I'm sorry did I just hear you right'?... You have stage fight?"
"O-only when singing." Trixie admitted. "She only, I mean, I only sang in that contest cuz I was performing with the Dazzlings... If I'd been up on that stage alone I probably would've choked." I sat on the bed completely dumbstruck, staring blankly at the girl standing infront of me, this was unbelievable, The Great. Trixie Lulamoon? Master of magic and illusion, not to mention fabulous fireworks extraordinaire Afraid to sing in public?
"Um... Ok?" I said unsure what else I could say, then I cleared my throat. "So um... C-can you tell me exactly... Why?" I asked nervously... Trixie frowned looking down at her feet.
"Um... Y-yeah.. Sure." She said as she room a deep breath. "J-just let me... Sit down first." She sat down beside me on her bed then a few awkward seconds later she looked up at me, "It's kind of a long story."