//------------------------------// // The Cave of Sir Dango XIV // Story: The Magical Adventures of Travis the Troll: Episode 3 The Trials of Sir Dango XIV // by The Angry Dango of Doom //------------------------------// Travis and his crew sped through the roads inside Francesca and made good time seeing how they were mostly bare. Within two hours they arrived in the Badlands. "Before we come up with a plan to search for this magical being, we need to create a base camp. I took the liberty of packing some supplies to create our base camp." Twilight stepped out of the car creating a magical barrier that spawned a small campsite. "Very good Twilight, I see you've learned that spell in one of Celestia's survival courses." "Celestia's school really does train you for any situation, doesn't it" She gleamed back at the Fellow princess "But, does it have emergency weed dispensing, 'mon?" "No, because that isn't a REAL emergency!" rolling her eyes, she returned to setting up a planning table "Travis, let's get on with this already." "You got it, 'mon" Travis set down his joint he was currently rolling up. "Alright, there are over Seventy caves that have been mapped, Thirty of which have not been searched; and fifteen have been labeled as too dangerous to traverse." She pointed to the locations "The caves that are 'too dangerous to traverse' are inhabited by monsters. The book that the magical being was mentioned in, seems to have said that he doesn't like company, So we can scratch those off the map."Twilight marked the danger locations with a large X "Otherwise, we have to search fifteen caves. Although, if he isn't located there, we have to start from the top and work our way down." Twilight motioned to each of the remaining caves. "We can search three separate caves at once to give only five separate trips, max" she then turned to Travis "Since you don't have wings, you will be searching the five closest to our location, I will take the ones farthest from here, and Luna will take the rest" She levitated a small pendant over to Travis "Once you have searched the area, or require assistance contact the rest of us with this. Luna and I will do the same, but with magic." She tested the pendant with her magic and it responded with a slight glow. "Right. Let us waste no time" Luna took to the skies quickly "You understand, Travis?" "Yeah, sure 'mon" Twilight rolled her eyes, taking off to the skies muttering under her breath "Can't believe I have to put up with this bull-" "Yeeeaaaah.... Alright Carlos. Let's get out of here 'mon" grabbing his reins and hoisting himself over the raptor mount he set off. Carlos swiftly carried Travis through the deserted plains, a place where the terrain felt almost like home. Not long after they reached the first cave; a short climb up lead the Troll to the mouth. "Ay Carlos, 'tis place seems a bit dark. We got any torches 'mon?" the raptor jumped with a mighty kick to reach the ledge where Travis was standing, and offered Travis a saddlebag "Ah 'tanks 'mon" with a large burst of flames, it lit and he started the search. The cave started started slender, but it gradually opened to a large cavern filled with crystals. and many openings branching out to other systems, Travis quickly felt discouraged. But he had brought a backup joint, Well it's not so much of a joint as much as it is a mummified log of marijuana. The smoke filled the cavern and Travis enjoyed the haze he had created. Not long after he heard rumbling far in the cave, though he was much to stoned at the time to actually believe he hadn't imagined it himself. Spending about an hour and a half his pendant buzzed. It was Luna. He quickly hid his joint and brought it up; the pendant brought a hologram up of the Lunar Princess "Travis, I have searched my first cave, there were no signs of life, I shall be at the next cave shortly. Luna, out." Travis pulled the Joint up again to take another hit, when the rumbling threw him off balance making him drop the blunt and torch. The rumbling grew in force and volume. Travis scurried to collect his torch and get out. When suddenly the wall of the cavern broke open and revealed a large blue blob monster! "THE FUCK Y'ALL MU'FUCKAS DOIN' IN MY MU'FUKIN CAVE" it shouted down towards both Travis and Carlos. "HOLY SHIT 'MON! What da hell are you!?!" He stumbled backwards trying to stand up "Mu'fucka, I am The Angry Sir Dango XIV of Doom! And you bringing that smelly ass pot shit into my fine ass caves? You know damn well that shit stanks like all hell, n' it's a BITCH to get it out!" it shifted over to Travis "Ay 'mon aren't you like. Magic? Can't you jus' magic out the smell, 'den?" Travis quaked speaking those words "You know how hard it is to capture every last part of that smoke with magic? Its REALLY damn hard! Now tell me the hell you doin' in my fuckin caves foo'" "I was, uh, hoping you'd let me use your magic to create an endless supply of munchies 'mon" Travis tried to regain his composure. Sir Dango squinted at him "You mean to tell me, y'all traveled from that weird ass pony shit, JUST to get me to give you some damn munchies?" "Y-yeah?" The Troll quaked again "S'fukin unreal..." he turned away "So. Please?" "Fine. Y'all gotta do some shit for me before I give it to ya though." "Well dat depends on what kind of things 'mon. Cuz if it's some gay shit..." "The hell do think I am?!? Like, damn son. I'm THE Angry Dango of Doom. I ain't some Frilly ass Golden Potato!" "Hah, Actually 'mon I killed him" "Oh, damn really?" "Yeah 'mon. He tried to invade dat pony world or something. The Sun horse bitch made me kill him." "No, shit? Kinda liked that guy." "He kept offering Cheeseburgers for some reason" "Ugh gross! Did you take em?" "Hell no 'mon, why?" "Mu'fucker whacks one out in 'em and then lets 'em bake in the sun for like five hours. If you haven't guessed. He is pretty sick." "Ugh, gross. How did you even know him 'mon?" "We went to High School together. So anyway. You gotta do some shit for me, man. Nothing too much." "Yeah, alright 'mon, But let me get some shit ready." "Aight, cool cool. Just don't blow me off man. I'll kill ya" The Dango gave a slight squint with a single eye Travis shivered "Right 'mon" With that, The troll and raptor followed the path where they had entered. Travis pulled out the pendant again, and activated its magical powers, The light shone and the Purple Princess "Travis! Have you actually found something, or are you calling me to fetch you another joint?" Twilight sassed "No, purple horse, I actually found the 'Ting! He's real 'mon!" He panicked into the necklace. "So you found him on your first cave? That seems very unlikely..." "Well 'mon, I did! I found him." Twilight sighed "Alright I'll be right over, and if you haven't found him, SO HELP ME" she cut her connection Travis then called Luna "Travis! Have you anything to report?" "Yeah 'mon, I've found the ting!" She tilted her head "You found it in the first Cavern?" "Yeah 'mon!" She Nodded "Right, on my way" With her connection cut, he decided to return to Sir Dango to pass the time. Sir Dango the XIV greeted the troll again, this time without the crashing of walls "Oi, you ready?" "Not yet 'mon, Two of my horse friends are coming to help me" He pulled out his Mummified log of weed "ay 'mon, ya want some?" "Fuck na, man, I hate that shit, and don't you think of lightin' that shit in here! I told you already! That shit is a bitch to get out" Travis sighed and put it back "Ay 'mon? So, what kind of challenges am I going to do?" "Simple shit, man" Sir Dango XIV spawned a screen beside him "first one, is a challenge based off of your skills. Seeing how you like weed so much; I thought up a little something for you to do for my amusement, but you gotta wait it out n' see. Second is a little race ya gotta do, nothin' too crazy. Third, you gotta fight me in Mortal Kombat, Fourth, you gotta find the Damn fourth Chaos Emerald. And Five, I dunno, I'll think it up when I get there" "Uhh, you seem unprepared 'mon" "Well yeah, you're the first Mu'fucka to step into my caves in like five thousand years!" Sir Dango XIV stunned Travis "Five thousand years 'mon?!? What have you been doing this entire time?" Sir Dango glared into the distance "Gettin' out of ELO HELL!" "What the heck, is elo hell?" "Where all good League players like me writhe in pain" "TRAVIS!" the familiar sound of the Luna called out with Twilight following closely behind "Oh hey 'mon!" He turned and waved "So this is the magical being we are here to locate?" Luna examined Sir Dango XIV "I am the only magical being here in the Badlands. Yes." Twilight sighed "Well, what are we going to have to do? Fight you?" "Nah 'mon he's cool, but I do have to fight him in Mortal Kombat. And do other tings'mon" Luna tilted her head quizzically "Mortal Kombat? Other things? What do you mean?" "All we be revealed in time my dear princess. Now how's about we go right into it." A bright light flashed and the Five were swept away to another location.