Rainbow Dash and I left the store with the new football in hand. I was nervous; the butterflies were blasting in my stomach on all cylinders because of the fact I had to tell her who I liked tonight. It was childish, but still. I guess her reaction was what I was worried about. Or, maybe it was hunger. And there was only one way to find out.
"Hungry?" I asked.
"Sure, I can eat."
We made our way to the food court, trying to figure out WHAT to eat. I wanted Chinese; she wanted sub sandwiches. Along the way, we spotted some fatass dragging a blond girl with a Stetson behind him.
OH FUCK.
"Who is that with AJ?" Rainbow asked. I wish I had an answer for that question, but her guess was as good as mine.
"I don't know, but..."
In my hand was the football.
Do it!
"Give me some room, Dash."
I gripped the ball in my hand and took a few steps back, knees slightly bent. I remembered coach telling me that in order to throw an accurate ball, you cannot overthink the throw and should just throw it, letting the body do the calculating. I took a step forward and gave it a mighty throw, with the last-minute flick of the wrist that gave the ball a near-perfect spiral. The ball launched into a curve trajectory, which stopped at the back of the guy's neck. The man involuntarily held the back of his neck in pain with both hands and released his grasp on Applejack in the process. She looked back to where the ball was thrown to see Dash and I waving at her to come to us, which she did.
"That guy over there knew who I was... how?"
WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT.
"I have no idea how, Applejack," I said, with the best poker face I could muster.
"He said he was takin' me to this place called "Hot Topic". What do y’all suppose is in there?"
It was at that moment that my heart dropped down to my asshole. This could have been easily avoided. But there HAD to be neckbeards in this city. They’re fucking everywhere, like a plague. The other girls ran over to the three of us.
Of course, Rarity came to ask probably for money. "Oh, there you are... I was wondering..."
"C-could I have some money to buy a puppy?" Fluttershy asked.
Rarity cleared her throat. "As I was saying... dear, I need about two thousand, three hundred, eighty-six bits."
I felt my left eye twitch. I was about to lose it. Pinkie jumping on my back was not helping. "Yeah! Can I get some money for some candy too?!"
AJ pushed her way to the front of the group.
"I still wanna check this "Hot Topic" place," Applejack demanded.
"Girls! Give me a moment to think here!" I said, raising my voice. I felt as if my pockets were about to detonate a forty-ton nuclear spaghetti bomb, or one was that .powerful enough to cover the western side of the continental divide.
I looked back over at the downed beast, who was up and stomping his way over to us, spouting bad breath and curses.
"Hey asshole! What what that for? I'll let you know I have over three hundred-"
I felt like situation was quickly going to shit at a rapid rate. I had six girls pestering me for answers and money, an angry spaghettimancer coming this way, with everyone watching.
Alright, enough of this shit.
I guess I snapped.
"AHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as I pushed through the group, racing at full speed towards the guy. I landed on his chest shoulder first, sending us flying around ten feet. He was rolling the ground, gasping for air, and I dusted myself off after getting up. The girls just stood there, their jaws metaphorically hanging to the floor. I guess that was unexpected, but honestly, it felt great to knock someone on their ass for the first time in almost a year.
I knelt down next to the guy and stared into his beady eyes. "If I EVER see you talking to those girls again, I’m going to beat you senseless and steal your shoes as a trophy, do you understand me? And if I see any more of your cult friends around here, I'll be back with more footballs. Now, get the fuck out of here."
I walked over to the rest of the girls; they were still in shock over what just happened.
"What'd ya do that for?" Applejack asked.
"He was crazy and had to be put down."
"Crazy?" Fluttershy followed up.
"Only a crazy person would drag someone he doesn't know like that."
I knew at that point that the can of worms was opened, and there was no going back now.
"We'll go to Hot Topic after I take you girls to lunch."