//------------------------------// // Somepony Please Cut the Lights // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// Fwooosh! Rainbow dove and landed in soft grass. All around her, an enormous stadium exploded with cheering ponies and raving fans. Fidgeting in her Wonderbolts suit, she looked up, her jaw dropping agape. "No friggin' way..." The north end of the stadium was consumed by a ten-story building labeled "THE RAINBOW DASH MUSEUM OF AWESOMENESS!" Through several glass windows, Rainbow could see countless exhibits. Blue, feathery statues of herself could be spotted in multiple poses, excelling at every sport and physical exercise imaginable. Banners with her grinning face hung along the concrete lengths of the stadium, and more fireworks exploded overhead, broadcasting a incographic lightning bolt to the heavens. "I ate waaaaaaaay too much pizza when I was a teenager," Rainbow muttered, trotting backwards. She bumped into Spitfire, Soarin', and Fleetfoot as the three Wonderbolts landed behind her. "Gaaah!" "What's the matter, champ?" Spitfire raised her goggles again, squinting. "Don't tell me you're throwing the race!" "The... race...?" Rainbow stammered. "I know you're rookie of the year and all, but don't let it get to your head!" Fleetwood huffed, smirking wryly. "Unless you're thinking up a brand new trick to wow us!" "Yeah!" Soarin' grinned. "That Inverted Hyper Rainboom rocked the socks off the Cloudsalian Flight League!" "I..." Rainbow leaned back, jaw dropped. "I-I've impressed the Cloudsdalian Flight League?!" She blinked, seethed, then shook her head. "No... No!" "Pffft... what do you mean?" Spitfire folded her forelimbs with an indignant frown. "I was there, rookie. I saw my legacy go up in flames, drowned in your sheer badflankery." "I choked on a pie!" Soarin' squee'd. "No, I mean none of this is real!" Rainbow growled, tilting her head up. "Epcotttt! Dang it, Epcot, stop sassing me!" With a flash of light, a geodesic sphere landed in the form of a giggling mare. "I don't get it! This is one of the freshest things I could dig up!" "But it's no more real than... than..." Rainbow grimaced. "...those creepy sex dungeons that the ancient alicorns built!" "But it's so squeaky-clean and innocent, though!" Epcot batted her lashes. "I thought it would blend well with your mortal pony pony pony mentality!" She turned to look at Soarin'. "Heeheeheee!" She pointed at the stallion. "I really like his name!" "It's not real." Rainbow frowned. "Awesome or not, it's not gonna get me any closer to Applejack." "Hmmmm..." Epcot leaned back, tapping her chin in thought. "Well, then we're not gonna make any progress at all." She spoke above the sound of cheering ponies. "Tell me. What's it gonna take to get you to relax?" "Relax?" Rainbow grumbled, fussing as she peeled her body out of the spandex suit. "I don't think that's gonna happen at this point." A pair of silk-soft hooves dripped in, clutching the loose suit in Rainbow's stead. "Maybe if you let us do the work for you." "Huh?" Rainbow tilted her head about. Her eyes twitched. "Duaaaaaah—" "Shhhhhhh..." Aloe rested a hoof over Rainbow's muzzle while her sister, Lotus, went around to the pegasus' back and stripped the rest of the suit off her. "Just rest easy." The two sultry mares lowered Rainbow to a soft couch in the middle of a fragrant lounge surrounded in silk draperies and incense. "We're going to make you feel really, really clean." The other mare giggled. "Even if we have to get you really dirty first!" "But... but..." Rainbow squeaked, trembling as she felt them circling closer and closer with brushes and files. "I-I don't like other ponies t-touching my hooves!" "Really?" Epcot spoke from the nearest couch. The mare laid back with her sparkling black mane in a wet towell. "Then how come your head went to this same place a buncha times?" "It did not!" Rainbow snapped. "I hate going to get a ponicure! All my friends know this!" "Really?" Epcot's violet eyes blinked. "Cuz, from what I can tell..." She squinted at Rainbow's skull. "...a few years back, your psyche had at least two hundred and two consecutive mental fantasies about this place every evening." "Yeah?! So?! Who are you now, the thought poli—?!" Rainbow stopped as soon as she felt Aloe rubbing a soft felt brush against the backside of her fetlock. "OoOoOoOooh..." the pegasus cooed. "That's ittttt..." Lotus leaned in, nuzzling the mare's neck. "Happy thoughtsssssss..." "Heee..." Rainbow's eyes fluttered, but she jerked with a frown. "No. No!" Growling, she shoved both mares away. "I hate this fantasy! All it does is... is... gnnngh..." She sat up on the couch, struggling to coil her outstretched wings back. Finally, she succeeded with a snap and sighed. "...it just reminds me how lame my hooves are in real life. Total downer, y'know?" "Awwwww..." Epcot folded her forelimbs, pouting. "You are honestly the worst mortal to get a gift for!" "So sue me," Rainbow grumbled. "I can fantasize for myself on my own time." She sighed as the spa around her dissolved. "There's only one pony I want to feel happy and secure." "Hmmmm..." Epcot tapped her smiling muzzle with a knowing squint. "Was that always the way things were?" "What are you getting at?" "That, quite simply, I've been going at this the wrong way," Epcot said. "Heehee! What we really need to do is take you back someplace innocent... someplace both happy and pure." "Trust me," Rainbow muttered. "It's not worth your time—" Her voice cracked. "Uhhh..." Her voice cracked again, and she started to realize just how high-pitched her breaths were. "The hay?" She looked down at her tiny-tiny body and stubby wings. "I'm a foal? But... huh?" A voice sobbed along the breezy Cloudsdalian winds. Rainbow looked across the misty bed. "Gaah!" the little filly gasped as a soft-soft body threw herself into her strong blue forelimbs. "What the...?" Rainbow's jaw dropped. "Fluttershy?" Sniffling, the dainty filly looked up with sad, aquamarine eyes. "I... I just couldn't do it, Rainbow. I couldn't..." "Couldn't..." Rainbow gulped, her voice cracking for the umpteenth time. "...couldn't do what?" "Fl-fly..." Fluttershy sniffled, clenching her moist eyes shut. "Everypony kept laughing at me! But you never do..." She leaned in, nuzzling Rainbow's strong, athletic chest. "You're always so good to me..." Rainbow's tiny ears folded back. She gulped. "Ah jeez..."