Derrick
I love Star Fire, but she has one major flaw as a gym coach.
She doesn't have wings.
I'll admit, she was running up a storm on the treadmill, but that doesn't quite equate to doing laps around the gym with a weight as heavy as two ponies strapped to your chest.
Frankly though, I wasn't thinking about her. All I cared about was the slowly ticking analogue alarm clock hanging on the wall. My lungs were burning, and so were my wings. It felt like every second the pack was getting heavier and heavier...
*RIIINNNNGGG*
I breathed out a sigh of relief and slowly sunk to the floor, unstrapping the weights as I did so. Poor Chell buzzed down behind me, panting in exhaustion.
Starfire turned off her treadmill and was on us in an instant. "Okay people back in the air! Cool down start's now!"
I rose up with a groan, as did Chell, hovering above the floor for a few laps around the room. At least the pace was slower.
Starfire joined us as we wandered, exhausted, around the massive gym. It was one of the largest rooms in the Apple Building. AJ wasn't one for impressing people with big fancy offices when she could avoid it, but she knew that if she was going to train Pegasi they were going to need space, and lots of it. The same went for Griffons and Changelings.
Oh, and before you ask, yeah we fly above the city a bunch for our workouts too, but that's a much less controlled airspace.
None of us were in a particularly talkative mood after that bit of binge conditioning, so our cooldown was mostly held in silence. When the mysterious Princess Twilight walked in, we were all tired enough that we barely batted an eye.
AJ and Pinkie followed behind and waved to us. I waved back weakly and tried to put myself in order.
Chell recovered the fastest. "Apple Jack, Pinkie Pie, Princess Twilight!" She began. "How are you doing this fine morning?"
AJ snorted. "We're surviving, or at least getting there. I see you kept to the work out schedule."
Starfire nodded as we finally reached the blessed water cooler. "We aim to please boss."
I filled a cone shaped cup with liquid heaven and forced myself to sip it slowly. As my neural functions returned I remembered something rather important.
"Twilight," I began, "I sent a quick message to that librarian that... you... told us about. I haven't heard back just yet, but she said she'd let me know if she found anything."
Twilight smiled. "Wow, I was right, you really are a cool guy."
I blushed. "Tha-"
"ARE YOU KIDDING!" Pinkie shouted. "He's like the coolest guy ever!"
I found myself wrapped in Pinkie's peculiar mix of hug and headlock. The earth pony buried her muzzle in my neck feathers.
"He's like the fluffy-softest bird-lioniest pal ever! You have so many awesome new friends to..."
She made a sniffing noise. Suddenly she was on the other side of the room.
"I swear! He usually smell's better!"
I raised an indignant claw, but AJ stopped me.
"Don't worry about it sugarcube, Pinkie's just trying to up-sell ya'll. Chell, you need an ice pack?"
She shook her head. "I've got a basic cooling spell running, I got a bit of a magical boost this morning from a certain niece." She gave Star Fire a smile.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Wait, why would you need a cooling spell?"
Chell looked sheepish. "Well, as a changeling I don't actually have sudoriferous glands. We can simulate them when we change shape, but that doesn't really change the physics. No sweat means no free cooling."
"And no stink! Don't forget about that!" Pinkie called over.
Twilight looked fascinated. "Wait, but all of the transformed changelings I've encountered before looked, smelled, and felt perfectly normal. Was that all illusion or physical transformation?"
Chell shrugged. "A little of column A and a little of column B... if you want I could give you a bit of a run-down later..."
Star Fire looked up. "When did you 'feel' a changeling?" She asked.
Twilight rubbed at the back of her head nervously. "I may have bucked a few during my brother's wedding."
"Uh, huh? And you think changelings are 'abnormal'?" Star Fire continued, a look of cold steel in her eyes.
Chell raised her hooves defensively. "Star Fire, it's perfectly alright, the reconciliation was seventy years after she vanished from the time-stream."
"That doesn't give her the right to be racist."
I gave Star Fire a look, but Twilight interrupted before I could say anything. "I'm sorry... I guess I have a lot to learn."
Star Fire grunted, and sipped her water skeptically.
Pinkie zoomed back over. "Star Anastasia Fire! Twilight apologized and she's gone through a hu-- P. U.!!!" She put a hoof to her nose. "Can you two please take a shower?"
Star and I exchanged a look.
"Not like that! Get your minds out of the gutter sheesh!"
Star Fire rolled her eyes.
I put that image into the mental vault of things I just didn't want to think about and turned to AJ. "So... what brings you all down here?"
AJ smiled. "I'm just showing Twi around the Apple Building."
The mysterious princess nodded. "I have to say Applejack, I'm impressed by how much Sweet Apple Acres has grown."
I blinked, "Wait, Sweet Apple Acres? You mean like the frozen pies?"
AJ sighed. "It was the original name Derrick, it's on a lot of things. This was Sweet Apple Incorporated building before it got shortened to just App... Why do you have a paperclip in your feathers?"
It was my turn to sigh. "Future Twilight recommended it."
Everyone turned to Twilight.
The purple princess groaned. "I have no idea either okay? Apparently I spend my life bouncing around time-lines like a ping pong ball."
Chell looked thoughtful. "So wait, if you can travel back in time, are you going to be coming back and giving us more mess-?"
Suddenly there was a flash of light and a rolled up scrap of paper bounced to the floor.
We all froze.
"Star Fire?" AJ asked, looking tense.
Star set her horn aglow and gave the wad a magical once over. Satisfied it wasn't about to explode, she unwrinkled it and cleared her throat. "Yes Chell, I'll try my best, but it's not an easy spell and I really don't want to mess with the time stream more than I have to. No Pinkie, I will not give you tomorrow's lottery numbers or stock prices, the economic ripples would be crazy. Love you all, Twilight Sparkle."
That read, the letter vanished in a puff of purple magic.
Star turned to Twilight. "You've got a bit of a flare for the dramatic, you know that?"
Twilight Blushed.
I sighed. "Star, can you relax...? although I have to say that was a little cryptic. How did future you know how long it would take us to read that thing?"
Twilight put a hoof to her chin. "Well... I was here to hear her read it... But wouldn't the future be changed by her reading it? Maybe I timed it to go back once she read 'Twilight Sparkle'...?"
The logical loops made my head spin. Star grimaced and stretched out. "Well now that that's done with, I think we have a bit more Training to do. There's 200 rounds waiting for us at the range."
Twilight looked perplexed. "Rounds? Range? What are you talking about?"
"She means the shooting range." AJ Chimed in. "If you want to use a gun you darn well better practice."
The princess turned to her old friend. "Wait, Guns? You mean like Cannons?"
The rest of us exchanged a look.
Star Fire smiled. "Princess, we have a whole new world to show you..."
#
Apple Jack
The fluorescent lights of the shooting range clacked on with a metallic buzz. and a row of booths stretched out before us like a row of guards at attention.
I handed Twilight ear protection as we all piled in and she put on the muffs without protest. I guess she'd learned a bit from Dash's antics.
"Let's start small shall we? Derrick, can you fetch the .22 rifle from the safe?"
The griffon gave me a salute. "Sure thing boss."
"Thanks sugar cube. Now remember Twilight, what we're about to show you are weapons. They can kill ponies and they need to be treated with respect and care."
Twilight eyed my holster. "You carry lethal weapons around with you at all times?"
I sighed. "It's a dangerous world out there Twi, that Slice feller isn't the only one that's tried to off me."
Twilight's eyes widened, "What!? Apple Jack..."
I held up a hoof. "We'll cover those tales a little later. Don't worry Twi, you know I can handle myself."
Twilight didn't look convinced. I could hardly blame her. Derrik returned, carrying the .22 and a box of rimfire ammo.
I picked up the .22, Derrick had picked out a Marlin XT. The marketing for it was a bit agressive, but the gun was solid. I double checked that it was unloaded, clicked the safety on for good measure and carefully showed it to Twilight. "This is a bolt action rifle. That means you need to work the bolt every time you fire it. Be careful now, remember, this is a deadly weapon."
Star Fire snorted. "Boss, if you're going to give her the 'Deadly Weapon' speech could you show her something that could handle more than terrorist squirrels?"
I rolled my eyes. "What the Peanut gallery over there is trying to say is that this particular gun has a low caliber. That means that it uses smaller bullets than other guns and if you shoot something with it, it might not kill that thing instantly. The key word there is 'might'. Some ponies have been hit by guns like this and not even noticed, but others have gone to an early grave. This isn't the scariest thing we've got in our arsenal, but it's important to remember, any gun can kill."
That said, I turned to the nearest stall. "Pinkie can you hang a..."
I blinked. A paper bulls eye target was already down range.
Chell smiled. "You'd been talking for quite some time dear, and the range was cold."
I let out a breath. "I suppose it was. It's about to go hot. Clear downrange everyone! No one touch nothin'."
Everyone took a step back and I made my way to the booth.
Star Fire cleared her throat. There was concern in her voice. "Boss, your ribs are still cracked, are you sure you're..."
I held up a hoof. "Like you said Star, it's a .22. I'll be fine." I hope...
I took the opportunity to carefully brace myself, lining up the sights before even loading the gun. Satisfied with the mechanics, I filled up a magazine and slipped it inside, nice and easy.
I relaxed and took aim.
Some guns are shoot from the hip, spray and pray sort of deals. They can do in a pinch, but I never quite got a handle on them. They lack subtlety, grace. But this gun... this was a different animal entirely. It was as lean and honed as a ballet dancer. All it needed was a good partner. I slid down with oiled perfection and fired my first round. It snapped cleanly into the target, dead in the center. I slid back the bolt and an empty hunk of brass fired free.
The recoil was non existent, broken ribs or not. I kept up the pressure, firing again and again, working the bolt like a piston. I emptied the clip into that little piece of paper... And every single bullet didn't slipped right though the first hole.
I smiled. And that's why I'm the boss. The others nodded appreciatively, except for Twilight who had a big old grin on her face.
"AJ that was incredible! I don't know a single archer who could do something like that, I can't believe you did it all with your hooves!"
She turned... and started walking down range.
I was on her before she touched the dirt, tackling her roughly to the concrete floor. I felt fury rising up inside me. "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CLEARING DOWNRANGE!"
The alicorn was stunned. "B-but the gun was empt-"
I slammed a hoof down right by her ear. "YOU NEVER ASSUME THE GUN IS EMPTY TWILIGHT! THAT IS HOW YOU DIE! I AM NOT KILLING YOU LIKE DASH KILLED FLUTTERSHY! DO I MAKE Myself..."
I paused, realizing what I'd let slip.
The whole room froze.
Twilight had looked scared when I threw her to the ground, but now there was something worse in her eyes, something terrible and broken...
With a flash of magic she vanished.
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