//------------------------------// // The Ship has Sailed!!! Pony #49: Screwball. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// Deadpool laid on the floor, sleeping with his eyes open. Most people and ponies would find this weird and, in many other ways, frightening. He was, unbeknownst to him, in the middle of the Everfree forest, where a mysterious pony figure stood, watching him. The pony took his phone and navigated through the pictures. Deadpool's sight came back and he saw, though a silhouette, a pony looking through his phone. "HEY!!!" Deadpool yelled. The pony screamed and vanished in thin air, leaving only his phone behind. the phone landed on the floor roughly, not cracking though, and Deadpool saw the selfie he took with Discord before they sung Abba's 'Dancing Queen'. "I'm sorry for that," a young woman's voice spoke "It's that... you look a lot like that woman." "Who are you?" "I'm Screwball. Who are you?" "Name's Deadpool!" "Deadpool? Strange... but than again, aren't we all a little strange?" "What are you doing?" "Well... I got lost from my parents... I'm alone and tired, but I need to find my family! I heard there was a human in Equestria. Is that you?" "Yeah. Why?" "Well... that woman... do you know where she's at?" "...That was me." "...What?" "That woman was me!" "...Really? So... who is the female draconequus?" "That? Nah, he turned into a woman like me! We both wanted to be fabulous and-" "YOU KNOW MY FATHER!?!?!?" "...Father!?!?!?" "Yeah!!! You know, Discord: my father, ruler of chaos, bringer of Disharmony!!!" "...Show yourself!!!" A small swirl appeared in the sky, and out came the supposed same pony that was looking through his phone: it was a mare with a pink coat, a swirly & poofy mane with white & purple stripes, and a cutie mark with both a screw & a baseball. She had on a yellow & orange hat with green propeller on top, but the most weirdest feature was that her eyes' pupils weren't like any other pony's, but they were pink & purple spirals. "Please, I need to find my daddy!" "...ok... how are you exactly Discord's daughter? Have any proof?" "...Alright, what do you enjoy?" "Well... I'm in the mood for some tacos." Screwball extend her hoof out and two tacos appeared right out of thin air! "Did... you just summon tacos out of nowhere!?!?!?" "It's chaos magic. Since you spend some time with my father, you've seen that he can control anything and anyone while breaking the laws of physics, right?" "Oh yeah... but... i he's your father, then who's your mom?" "My mom? Well, it's a bit weird, but... well... her name... is Fluttershy." Deadpool stared blankly NNNNNOOOOO!!!!! How can it work!?!?!? She looks so... normal!!! Deadpool fell to his knees. "Do you need some help?" Screwball asked "... yeah." Deadpool responded "Can... you make a spotlight over me and summon a piano?" "Uh... sure." Screwball was able to form clouds around Deadpool, making a perfect circle, surrounding Deadpool in a spotlight made from the moon.She summoned a piano and Deadpool got onto a seat with a tree stump & played a note with a microphone near him. "♫I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light, I can't remember how, I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight. And I can't stand the pain. And I can't make it go away, No I can't stand the pain. How could this happen to me!?!?!?!? I made my mistakes!!! I've got no where to run!!! The night goes on as I'm fading away!!! I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream. How could this happen to me!?!?!? Everybody's screaming. I try to make a sound but no one hears me. I'm slipping off the edge, I'm hanging by a thread, I wanna start this over again. So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered and I can't explain what happened, and I can't erase the things that I've done... No I can't. How could this happen to me!?!?!? I made my mistakes!!! I've got no where to run!!! The night goes on as I'm fading away!!! I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream.How could this happen to me!?!?!?♫" Screwball summoned an electric guitar and began to play with him, though she was more happy than how he was. "♫I made my mistakes!!!♫" She sang along with Deapool "♫I've got no where to run!!! The night goes on as I'm fading away!!! I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream. How could this happen to me!?!?!?♫" The clouds went back to their natural ways, with a tear jerked Luna watching from a cloud above. "That..." Luna commented "Was beautiful!!!" "If you enjoyed that," Deadpool responded, going from sad to happy all of the sudden "try listening to 'Lincoln Park'!!! They're Emo as f**k!!!" "I... will, Deadpool. Say, who is that... flying... earth pony.. with you?" "I'm Screwball, Luna." Screwball responded "Don't you remember?" "I... can't tell." "My daddy is Discord." Luna froze with a blank stare. "Celestia helps us all." Her horn glowed and she disappeared "What's up with her today?" "I don't really know," Deadpool responded "but there are other ponies who don't really fit right after I came here." "...think it's a cross dimensional thing?" "...I don't know. Want to find your dad?" Screwball tackled Deadpool and yelled with glee. "YES!!! DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE'S AT!?!?!?" "WHOAH!!! Calm down there, little Pony. Just follow me and we'll meet your dad in no time... that is... if you can catch up." "...What do you-" Deadpool teleported into one of the trees "Come on! Catch up!!!" "Teleportation!?!?!? PERFECT!!!" Screwball began to fly & teleport the area, following Deadpool, who teleported from tree to tree and did some gymnastic moves on the branches. After a good few minutes of tree running, the two were at Fluttershy's cottage. "Is my daddy here?" Screball asked "...most likely." Deadpool responded "What do you mean by 'most likely'?" "If he's not here, then another pony will be here." "Wait, do you mean-" Before Screwball could ask, Deadpool knocked on the door a couple of times. The door opened and Fluttershy answered, eyes halfway closed and her mane a bit messed up. "Deadpool?" Fluttershy asked, taking in a deep yawn "It's awfully late for you to-" "MOMMY!!!" Screwball yelled. She went inside and gave Fluttershy a huge hug, which snorted the pegasus from her half sleep. "Mommy?" "Where's daddy!?!?!?" "Daddy?" "Yeah! Discord!!!" "Wait... slow down. Are you saying... I'm your mother?" "Yeah!" "And... Discord is your father?" "Yeah!!!" "Wait... that means... Discord and I got married... had a child... and it was... you?" "YEAH!!!" Fluttershy stared at the filly, then fainted. Screwball went to Fluttershy and shoved her a bit "Mommy!!! Are you hurt?" "What's all the commotion about?" Discord's voice shook the place. A while light appeared, and Discord came in, wearing a bath robe & slippers that look liked Angel's face. "Deadpool! What a pleasant surprise. And... who is this?" "DADDY!!!" Screball flew up to Discord and surrounded her hooves around his thin, but tall body. Discord stared with a look filled with confusion. "Daddy?" "Dad! Don't you remember: it's me, Screwball, your daughter!!!" "D-d-daughter!?!?!?" He turned to Deadpool. "I don't really know." Deadpool replied "it turns out, you and Fluttershy got married and have this kid." "We're m-m-married!?!?!?" "Don't you remember?" Screwball asked "You held the three princesses hostage, demanded a bride, and mommy came along to be your bride! It didn't start off well, but you two eventually found love and got married, having me!" Discord stared at her, then he too, fainted. Screwball levitated around, poking her father's face, only to hear him grumble a bit. "Why is everypony fainting? "I have no idea." Deadpool responded, taking out his camera. "want to take a selfie?" "is that the pictures you took with my father?" "yeah!" "... I don't see why not." The two got close together and took a selfie, with the unconscious bodies of Discord and Fluttershy in the background. "what should I do with my parents?" "...Eh. Try taking things slow, reintroduce yourself, spend some family time together, all that good stuff." "But what will you do?" Deadpool looked around the place. "I think I can sleep on the couch. You?" "With my parents." "Sounds good. I'll leave first thing in the morning, leaving you all alone, okay?" "That sounds good." Screwball levitated her parents over to Fluttershy's bed upstairs, where Screwball placed herself in between her, supposed, amnesiac parents. Deadpool teleported onto the couch and began to lie down. He felt something tug his tangling foot. Looking down, he saw Angel, angrily punching his foot. Without a word, Deadool punted the rabbit, sending it flying out of an open window. Justice has been served. F***ing Angel Bunny.