//------------------------------// // Table Manners // Story: The Slumber of Gaia // by Khenlos //------------------------------// I awoke from my slumber when we touched down on some kind of plaza, surrounded by lots of little creatures in golden armor. I awoke the young ones and stepped out of the vehicle, inspecting the armor of the guards. Well... they were proably guards, with all the armor and spears... They tried to look tough, standing proud and not even looking to me while I was observing them. I tried to make one laugh with my feathers but he managed to not even flinch. "Oh... you are good at this! Keep up the good work, soldier!" I said to him while giggling to myself. They all looked so serious! That's when the white one poked me and pointed towards the enormous building behind us. Seriously, How did I miss that? It was... how were they called? Ah, yes! It was a beautiful castle made of some kind of white stone with too many decorations for me to count. Ah, this brings me back memories... Castles were all the rage four thousand years ago back home. They kinda got demolished... by sieges... Oh well... We walked at a slow pace, the white one trying to explain some of the statues and things as we passed near them. They were pretty, sure... but I felt a lush garden with many animals just at the other side of the castle, and that got my attention for sure. But the young ones had other things in mind. We walked through many corridors, all of them with pretty decorations and with many of the little creatures carrying on with their lives. I noticed that there were way too much clothing on them. Whats up with that? Uniforms perhaps? That must leave their fur too itchy to be healthy... As we continued our trip we passed through a marvelous corridor with beautifully made windows. They represented scenes in full color, probably historical ones, and that theory proved to be right when I saw the young ones in several of them. Ugh... this makes me remember about 'The Old Days' back home, where the squid people used to build shrines in my name and make sacrifices... those barbarians... What it was surprising was that lavender and her friends appeared in a couple of them! They must be some kind of important figures for this world. I knew the pink one was someone important! And thinking about these late friends of mine, the blue one didn't say a thing since we arrived. Was she angry with me? "Are you... angry at me, young one? Did I upset you?" I said to her with the most miserable look I could put on my face. It worked way too well and she looked away, ashamed and not looking at me. The white one was in front of me in a instant, trying to apologize for something by her tone. I just nodded and made a small smile. I saw that some of the small guards looked at me concerned. Yes! I still got it! And my son tells me that I'm too old for the 'pouty face'. Amateurs! We continued to walk and soon enough we arrived at a big room. And by big I mean it was unnecessarily tall and wide for such a tiny and long table. It looked like a dining room but it was just so... stupidly big! Why did they think this was a good idea? Such a waste of space. They sat on a couple of big thrones, heavily decorated to resemble them, with different decorations on them. Whoa... They still have those? This seemed like a universal thing for castles. You build a castle? Then you put a throne in it! Gaudy things they are, I tell you... Where were the plants anyways? This place just looked so barren and dull without even a sad, potted plant. Suddenly a little creature with funny hair over his mouth gave me... something. It was made of cellulose and had some drawings on it. So they knew how to write? That's fascinating! How do they do that? I never got the hang of... What? By the sun and stars above... What was that!? Their horns were glowing and somehow they got the papers to... float! How could this be? It was not possible! I tried to find any kind of strings or even some hidden device... nothing! They were chuckling at me with a smile I knew too well. They knew something I don't and they thought it was funny. They are probably thinking they are smarter than me. Well...! They are probably right, and I'm okay with that. I've never been smart, nor that I need to. I was happy and it was enough for me. They gave me another cellulose thingy, this time with pictures of foods. Oh! It all looked tasty, so I just pointed everything on the menu. They looked aghast and speechless. I'm a big mare and I need my food! "I want ALL of it. See? This; and this, and this one too... Get it? I want the food" I said to them, pointing again to all the pictures. They nodded and said something to the now identified waiter. How quaint. The young ones talked among themselves when the big doors opened to give way to one of the small creatures. He wore some kind of black cloth on his chest, and another white one underneath. The young ones looked pretty nervous now. Well, they had a very good neutral face, but I knew better. You can't fool me... at least twice. The little one seemed oblivious to my presence and sat almost side by side with me. I looked at him curiously. His mane was groomed and he smelled sweet, like some kind of plant. His fur was also so clean that it was like looking at a snowy field. All and all, he looked like he loved to be clean, like that friend of the lavender one, the white one with gems on her rump. It was a trend to be sparkly clean or something? That's when the doors opened again, and I saw my feast march towards me. My it smelled simply divine! As soon as the giant tray was floated to me I started to feast on the food. And by the sun! It was all so tasty! So many new flavors! This was going to be great! This was going to be horrible. The new alicorn was gorging herself with the food with a speed that put Pinkie Pie to shame, trying to taste every food at once, making a mess all over the table. And to make things worse, Prince Blueblood just noticed the giant alicorn that was sitting at his side when he heard the loud, munching noises. "A-aunty... what... who is this!?" Blueblood tried to say, absolutely terrified of the display. "Ah... well Blue, this is... We don't know her name yet, but as you can see she is..." said Celestia while evading some food crumbs projected by their guest "...a princess" concluded Celestia. Blueblood looked at her with disgust. "I think I am not hungry anymore. If you excuse me..." said Blueblood as he was ready to leave, only to find a massive wing to block his way. The green alicorn made some clicking noises and pointed to Blueblood's food with a frown. "It would be wise to stay and eat your food, nephew. We have found her to be... quite persuasive" said Celestia with a calm smile, just eating as if nothing was wrong in the world. Luna just huffed and tried to eat as quickly as she was able without looking like the green alicorn. "What? No! I refuse to play games with this dirty oaf! Good day!" exclaimed Blueblood while walking away. Sadly for him a long, strong leg pulled him in front of his food. The alicorn made again some of her odd noises while looking disappointed, pointing again to the food. "No! I said... NO!" he yelled at her, moving out again. This time the green mare imprisoned him with a hug and sat behind him, pointing him towards the food. "Let me go, you filthy mare! What do you think you are doing? I am Prince Blueblood!" he yelled, at what the green alicorn just smiled calmly and ate her food at a slow pace, showing her impressive patience. "I do think that she is a grabby fellow, don't you think so dear sister?" asked Celestia, amused by the display. "I must admit that it looks funnier when we are not the ones being trapped between those steel prison bars of hers" stated Luna, trying to ignore their guest. "Don't be like that Luna. She clearly means well" replied Celestia "Aunties! Help me! This beast is not letting me go!" cried Blueblood, his body trapped between the legs of the enormous mare, his head the only part he could move... pointed towards his plate. The mare just made some clicking sounds, making some food crumbs to fall on Blueblood. "She is getting my coat dirty! Eugh!" "Don't be such a crybaby nephew, and take it like a stallion. It's evident that she just wants you to eat your vegetables" replied Luna with a frown on her face. "But I don't want to!" He cried, levitating his fork and trying to stab his captor on her legs "Unhoof me! Let me go!" He said with each stab. Both princesses were horrified. "Nephew! Stop that!" yelled Celestia. "No! I'll not stop until I am..." tried to say Blueblood, only to be interrupted by the green alicorn, who caught the fork in her mouth and... chewed it "...freed from... her?" concluded a scared Blueblood. The mare kept munching on the fork and ate it, making some clicking sounds and just resuming her food as it was nothing. Blueblood started to eat his food, looking terrified of the mare. "That was... unexpected" said Celestia. "I'll say, sister..." replied Luna, both pretty surprised about the eating habits of the new alicorn. "I hope she doesn't take that as a delicacy or we will have to buy more cutlery soon" "I hope that too, Luna. I hope that too" replied Celestia, looking to her own fork with curiosity. They ate in silence after that, Blueblood not even grumbling and the maids looking pale at the mess that was the dinner table. Celestia and Luna tried their best to ignore how the green alicorn ate, and without difficulty, food enough for four ponies. "There! I finished! Can you let me go already, you stupid giant?" asked Blueblood, trying to not yell and make the crazy mare angry at him. The alicorn just smiled and patted him with the utmost care and kissed him on the cheek, placing him on the floor and pushing him towards the door. Blueblood sat stunned, looking towards the mare with a blush on his face. She just waved pleasantly and said something in her clicking language, gesturing to him to go out. He didn't move. "Sister, I think she broke our nephew. Can we get another one?" asked Luna, this time amused by their guest. Celestia sighed. "Can some guards just take Prince Blueblood to his lodgings, please?" asked Celestia, and soon four guards carried the petrified prince outside the dining hall. "That went better than we expected..." said Luna, observing with just a hint of curiosity to the green mare. "Indeed. It seems that she does like to mother other ponies... not caring for size or age" replied Celestia with a smile on her face. "I do not find that amusing, Celestia. For being a pony so motherly she doesn't know a thing about eating properly. Just look at this mess..." said Luna, while looking at the dirty table... just to see the green alicorn lapping some food crumbs from the table. "Ugh... this is disgusting. I hope we have something about translation spells in our library..." "I will look into that. Meanwhile we need to try to make her comfortable at the castle. I hope that, once the language barrier is solved, we can know more about this mare." said Celestia, chuckling a bit. "Maybe then we can teach her about table manners" "A pony can dream..." replied Luna, closing her eyes. "...but we should keep her when we need to talk to our nephew" Loud laughter could be heard from the halls of the castle, to the amusement and confusion of a green alicorn.