The Future is....Ponies?

by TheDawsonator1


Leaving the City Behind

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wha--? YAAAAAWWWWWWWWN…what time is it?

I open my eyes and I see a transparent door above me…wait what?! How the hell did I end up here? Did I get run over by a car or something? Nah, that can’t be right! Whatever, I’m getting out of this place, pronto!

Grr…OPEN UP YOU STUPID DOOR!

SMASH!

Finally! Stupid technology being so advanced it comes an inconvenience!

Okay, first thing that is bugging me right now is that this place is DUSTY! I can seriously imagine some high society-like royal type coming here and being absolutely disgusted…or mums, Mums will fuss over this stuff even if one atom of this dust is present.

Second, the only light source is from this capsule looking thing I got out of. Next to it was some paper, it was some sort of note as I picked up and read…


Dear Joel,

Your name is Joel right? If not, I really don’t care cause I’ll be dead anyway by the time you read this.

See, I have finally gotten the means to cryogenics and able to freeze a human for long periods of time. Now, I know you didn’t agree to this and nor did anyone else. Why? Because all you sentimental fools care about if given an opportunity like this is “What about my family?” or “But I don’t wanna”!

So I just found a random human in his sleep that so happened to be you Joel. So I hope you have fun in the future with all the hover cars and such, maybe pick an alien chick or something. Hey! I reckon you could do it, guy like you should have no problem.

So anyway, I have set the time for 3000 years in the future, have fun now!

Dr. Sadistic Bastard

(You thought you’d get my real name didn’t you? HA! NICE TRY!)

Am I being fucked with? 3000 years? Oh there better be hover cars and that or else I’m mad! And what sadistic bastard does that anyway? Why can’t he just go himself?

Well at least I can see a door in this light, I hasten to open it and get a faceful of dust…urgh! Do all 3000-year-old doors do this? Where’s a protection mask of some kind when you need it?

So I exit the room to find myself completely outside hoping for a glorious future aannnnnnnnddddd…it’s a desolated abandoned city…FUCK!

Not only that, it seems the town is underground for some reason…okay what the ballsacks happened here? Half of me is hoping for a Zombie Apocalypse (Just as long as there not too many bandits and no clickers…those things scare me!), and the other half is wondering how I get out.

So, let’s see there’s a hole in the roof over by that skyscraper about 500 meters away, as much as old ruins would fascinate someone, it doesn’t to me and maybe the future stuff is up there? God, I hope so!


500 meters later…

Phew…I need to get out more…no more Ravioli for a while. If there even is any left…imagine that, life without Ravioli, cakes or pies. I’d think I would go mad.

But the 500 meters I went, all around were rusted cars, houses and everything. Not to mention the maddening quiet down here.

I enter the skyscraper, it’s just as dusty and ruined as everywhere else, not to mention when you see a road full of rusted cars and such.

“Hellooooo? Anybody Home? Last human hoping to not actually be the last one here!” I called out

No answer…just great! The fact this building has no lights on is creeping me, perfect place for some weird zombie thing to come out of nowhere.

And the elevator is out too! This is god punishing me for not getting out isn’t it? So we take the old fashioned stairs.

About 60 steps later…

I…FREAKING….HATE STAIRS! Why are there so many stairs? Stupid future, it’s always the fucked up future! Can’t it be the nice hover car future that everyone wants for once?

I would find that guy that did that but he’s dead now so the whole thing is pointless…and huff…huff…

I enter a room and I find skeletons just lying on the ground and on chairs and everywhere, what happened here to kill all these people? The Apocalypse? Some Natural Disaster? Or did those bloody terrorists finally get here and for some reason not bomb much of the place?

I look around I see a machete on the ground, hasn’t gone rusty it seems. Was hoping for some lightsaber but this’ll do in case zombies did happen. I don’t see a gun anywhere though, perhaps I should have looked for a gun shop or something on the way here…ah well, slice and dicing it is as I put my machete in a sheath I found on the ground.

Well…back to the stairs I suppose


About 30 uneventful minutes later…

Those stairs…huff…never again! I swear on my life, I will nuke every stair and somehow make elevators run without electricity. Then I will find the grave of person who thought of stairs then murder him gruesomely! After I bring back to life and torture him that is!

I opened the hatch to the roof and found the hole in the ceiling of this city, grass seemed to be leaking inside the hole with sunlight shining through, giving the city a dim light much like a torch pointing up in a room.

I saw some bow and arrows on my left next to a skeleton that I decided may be useful just in case and grabbed some vines sticking out and with a struggle, managed to climb out to the outside world of freedom…

As I got out, a rumble occurred down below and I watched as the skyscraper I climbed for so long basically decided to collapse down, I couldn’t see anything down there but I do know I can’t really go back down there.

There is no choice but to go forward


The sky remains blue as ever, the clouds are white, the sun shines, 3000 years doesn’t seem to have changed these things, but the fields I stand on are lush green, like how the Shire looks from Lord of the Rings.

But for me right now, there are three objectives that are certain in my mind:

One: Whatever humanity that there once was, has moved somewhere else.
Two: I gotta find the humans.
Three: Find a safe life for myself.

I don’t see any sign of anything futuristic around here? Did we even develop at all? Did all those space adventures come true and humans have moved to other planets? Up ahead I noticed a town, it looked a bit old-fashioned but I guess that’s okay, maybe I’ll find more about the future in there.

Well, forward it is…