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// Love it or List it 
// Story: Magnificent Changes for the Changelings 
// by LOL3evee 
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	"I want this spot! I believe that this area will be enough to accommodate our needs."

The real estate pony let out an exasperated sigh and ran her umber hoof through her mane. Fair Weather's name may suggest that she was a cool and collected pony, but this particular customer was really testing her patience. Princess Celestia had personally ordered miss Fair Weather to aid the changelings in finding a home. The princess would pay for any and all fees out of the kindness of her heart, which was funny when the real estate agent considered what the changelings had done in the past.

On the topic of her latest (and strangest) client, things were off to a really slow start. The changeling queen had chosen to stay near Ponyville because she said "there are copious amounts of fresh love radiating off of the surface of the earth there." So far, the changelings had only looked at one potential home, and they were still standing before it after thirty straight minutes of the Queen scoping out the building.

"Ma'am, this is the town hall," the collected agent said. "You can't settle here."

"Why not? Are my changelings not good enough to settle in such a building?"

"It's not that. It's just that the citizens hold all of their events near this building, and all of the noise would disrupt you during your resting period. A home needs some semblance of privacy, you know."

"But it is private! I could sleep through any commotion all throughout the rising period of the unforgiving daytime sun."

The changeling queen grinned widely as the orange maned pony face hoofed. The queen's subjects tussled about nearby as their mother dealt with the "adult business." Piles of squirming gray changelings littered the streets as the younger ones romped and played in the sizzling heat of the midday sun, creating quite an interesting sight. The insect like beings had surrounded the town hall, making it look as if a massive swarm of over sized ant horses were invading Ponyville. To the untrained eye, this would seem highly out of place.

Countless changelings were running back and forth along the solid stone pavement in a somewhat more violent version of the game "tag." The changelings tackled each other into the dirt roads to tussle, stirring up a cloud of dust that rose into the air and filled the lungs of nearby entities with dry, grainy soil. The disgruntled real estate agent strafed to the left just in time to dodge an oncoming changeling drone that had been knocked to the side by one of its comrades.

"Ma'am, you don't seem to understand the prospect of having a town hall," the mare said patiently. "The citizens gather here for major events. Having a massive horde of changelings living inside of this building could cause some major issues."

The changeling queen didn't seem convinced. "I don't see how my dearest children could cause problems with your silly little festivities. If anything, we would just liven up the party if we lived right here! My dearest drones love to mingle with those around them in times of jollity."

"Seriously, ma'am. It's kind of illegal to live here because of the conditions. This building was intended for public use, and not to act as private property."

"What if I bought the building, miss Fairy Feather? Would that permit me to live here with my children?"

Fair Weather slowly began grinding her teeth. She said my name wrong... Unruly customers were one thing, but this was ridiculous. Thirty minutes in, and the umber pony was already ticking. Fair Weather's left ear twitched rapidly as she heard the dull sound of a drone being slammed a ways across the street, inciting the mare to take a pace to the left of where she stood. Sure enough, a particularly plump changeling rammed its head straight into a tree that stood not too far behind Fair Weather's former position. The changeling's horn planted itself in the tree's tough bark as it made impact, and the changeling slumped over into a state of unconsciousness. The victimized drone looked like a rag doll that had been impaled into the tree by an invisible spear of some sort.

Fair Weather stared at the changeling for a few short seconds before turning back towards her client. She raised a questioning eye brow at the Queen that stood before her, and was just about ready to bring up the subject of the fact that a creature that Chrysalis described as a child was now hanging limply from a tree, suspended only by its own skull.

"Don't worry about Uljschkov," the Queen assured the agent. "He does that all the time. He'll be fine in an hour or so."

The umber horse was slowly being drained of patience. Fair Weather was probably one of the most relaxed ponies in Equestria, having a reputation for dealing with the most unruly of ponies who were in the market for a new home. She could usually find a way to compromise with ease, but today was clearly not like the others. Today wasn't "usual." No. Today, Fair Weather had to guide over 200 changelings through a ho-hum village during the middle of the day, when ponies were sure to be out and about. Fair Weather took a deep breath and continued with the subject matter.

"...Anyways, buying a home is apart of claiming ownership of it," Fair Weather said as her mental fuse slowly burned away, the thought of the Queen being so nonchalant about the fact that her own child was unconscious dwindling within her mind. "You can't claim ownership of the town hall. That would be like walking into Canterlot Castle and trying to claim it as your own. The castle and Ponyville's town hall are property of the Equestrian government. With that being said, many government buildings, including the town hall, are reserved for public use. The mayor is also supposed to be working here, which means that you really aren't supposed to be claiming this mayoral place of work for yourself."

The tall changeling puffed out her chest as her chitin-clad face scrunching up into that of a frustrated scowl; similar to that of a disgruntled filly whose mother told her she couldn't have ice cream for dinner.

"Celestia told you that I could live anywhere that I choose, and that she would pay for any construction costs."

Fair Weather's eyes shot open from their lazily disgruntled position, the mare's face twisting into a look of shock as she froze in place.

"How do you..." she began. "You weren't there for that conversation."

That's when it hit her.

She's a Faust-forsaken changeling. She can morph into any living creature that she has ever seen with her own two eyes.

"I knew there was something wrong with there being over forty guards crammed into a corner of the throne room..."

"No there isn't."

Fair Weather's ears twitched. "What do you mean, it isn't out of place?"

"It's perfectly normal to have more than five guards in your throne room," the changeling queen said quickly. "There's nothing wrong with that. Princess Celestia and I both know that its good for both national security and for protecting the Oofyloomph chamber."

Queen Chrysalis stood in place with an out of place, puffy-cheeked poker face; her serpentine pupils directed somewhere off to the side as she attempted to avert the real estate pony's gaze. Fair Weather's face fell into a look of stagnant, stolid disbelief.

"The Oofyloomph chamber?"

The Queen nodded, a complacent grin spread across her face. "Why of course, Fork Wipplies. Everyone needs an Oofyloomph chamber to protect all of their Oofyloomphs." 

Fair Weather rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Queen Chrysalis stood there for a few awkward moments after realizing that the umber pony had failed to believe her. She scraped the dirt with a hole-filled hoof while staring intently at the ground below. Finally, she looked back up at the orange-maned pony.

"So... does that mean we get to take up residence within this fine palace?"

Fair Weather's mental time bomb erupted.

"You know what, fine. Keep it. Do whatever in Faust's name that you want with the Faust-forsaken building."

She pulled some forms out of a briefcase she had been carrying with her, shoving them towards the changeling that towered above her in stature.

"Just fill out these forms and bring them to the town hall by tomorrow morning, and it'll all be yours, by royal decree from the Sun herself."

Queen Chrysalis beamed as the real estate agent stormed off. Passersby who weren't already fazed by the massive horde of squirming, tussling changeling that littered the streets stopped to gape at the drama that lay before them. The queen stared down at the papers in her hooves as she smiled. Examining the copious sheets of formal waivers and legal documents before halting her movements althogether once she had processed Fair Weather's final words.

"Wait, didn't Flop Wurst say our new home is this town hall that she mentioned?"