Sweet Apple Acres really was something amazing. The vivid green leaves against the blue sky. The sweet subtle hint of apples on the gentle breeze as it rustled through the trees. Waving fields of golden grain in the distance. I could almost feel love coming up from the land itself to feed me. As it was, I just wanted to flop down into a tuft of grass, and revel in the serenity.
But first, I had to deal with ponies.
After the usual slew of confusing pony greetings, and my subsequent silent nodding as I tried to blend in, I took a private inward moment to reflect upon my success. I had infiltrated Ponyville, and was in good standing with all of Twilight’s inner cadre. Only Fluttershy had discovered my secret, despite outright confessing to Twilight who had somehow decided I was a pony raised by changelings, and had accepted me as something akin to a pet. For now, it would have to do, but overall I was very pleased.
I was swiftly getting ponyisms down, and had gotten to know Applejack a little here and there over the past few nights since she would visit both Fluttershy and Twilight often. So when she proffered a hoof, I was quick on the uptake to meet it halfway with my own.
As she shook it, I couldn’t help but think about how much she liked apples, and subsequently, had convinced me quite thoroughly that so do I. Especially when they came in the form of a spiced apple pie which she was always keen on sharing, much to my delight.
“Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!” She flashed me a haughty smile. “To start off we’re gonna haft’a test yer strength a bit.”
Oh, that delicious apple pie! I hope she has some lying around. I looked at the trees, and wondered which ones grew...
“Uhm… sugarcube?” Applejack waved a hoof in front of my face bringing me back to reality.
“Apple pies!” I blurted out, and stared at her wide eyed. “I mean… delicious! Yes… apple pies are delicious! And, uhm… that’s entirely irrelevant! Hehe… why am I yelling?” I gulped down my nervousness. “I-I’m ready for work.” I grinned, trying desperately not to stare her directly in the eyes as I snapped to a rigid solute.
Applejack’s eyebrows weren’t quite level with each other as she stared at me a little sideways. “Okay… Ya don’t need to be so nervous, and if you were that hungry, why didn’t ya just say so?”
“Oh, nonono, You see I was just hoping that you would point out which trees grew the apple pies so maybe if I did a really good job you might allow me to take one home.”
Pinkie flopped upside down on the ground laughing, her legs kicking wildly in the air. “Ahahaha! I had totally forgotten he’d said that! He’s so funny!”
“Pinkie!” Applejack eyed her sternly.
“Oh, right. I’d almost forgot…” Pinkie cleared her throat. “What I meant to say was ‘ha-ha-ha, that is soo silly Dreamy!’”
Applejack hid her face behind her hat as she sighed, and then let out a hearty guffaw. “Sugarcube, the day that trees start growing whole apple pies is the day I stop gatherin’ with baskets, and start bringin’ tin pans!”
“Then how?” I wasn’t sure how to even form the question. I was also confused by the little interaction between the two of them just then. “Wait, what was that you two were talking about just now?”
Applejack shook her head and continued as if she hadn’t heard me, her voice a little too loud. “Just relax, I’ll teach you later how to bake a pie.”
“Orr… I can!” Pinkie blurted out, giving Applejack a look that was far beyond my current understanding only made worse by the fact she was still upside down.
“Ooh… right, I mean…” Applejack grinned. “Of course you can... I mean…” She grumbled and ran over to Pinkie to whisper. “How’n the hay am I sposed to remember which lines are yers?”
Pinkie shrugged. “I don’t know, just roll with it!”
Applejack ran back to her original position and cleared her throat. “For now, like I was sayin’, we need to test your strength a bit to see where ya might fit in best ‘round here.” She gestured down the path. “Now don’t get yer hopes up. My brother Big Mac has already laid claim to strongest, so no showin’ off! Ya cain’t work if yer injured.”
I blinked, suddenly confused in more than one way. I sighed and shook it off. Apparently there was still much to learn about pony interactions and customs that I was far from mastering.
“Ooh, a test of strength!” Pinkie squeakily hopped back onto her hooves next to me as we trotted down the path through the forest of apple trees. “This is so exciting! I wanna play too!”
“Pinkie, this isn’t a game…”
Pinkie shot her another glance, and hoofed directly at me.
Applejack’s tune shifted instantly. “But I really can’t see why not. I could use another farmhand to pull the carts. We’re gearing up for an apple festival to raise money for the local school and city beautification. Just try to take it seriously. It’s been a good two weeks since our last work related injury, and I wanna keep it that way.” Applejack tossed Pinkie a serious pony glare.
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie flashed back an imperturbable grin. “You can totally count on me.”
Applejack stopped short, and looked back at Pinkie Pie inquisitively. “Hay, Pinkie, why are you sticking around anyway? Don’t you work today?”
I glanced sideways at Pinkie, studying each little movement and mannerism. I noted every detail. Even my reflection in her ear to ear grin. I was here to work, and learn how to fit into pony society, but I hadn’t forgotten my main target. I just wish that all the rules for pony mannerisms that I had formulated for everypony else would apply to her. I found myself staring at her often, pondering why she was so different from the others.
“I am working! Twilight appointed me as Dreamy’s official pony cultural liaison and life coach.” Pinkie flashed me a grin. “It’s been super fun! So far Twilight’s taught him the basics of pony stuff. Fluttershy potty trained him…”
I stumbled face first into the dirt, my inner reflections shattered into so many bits of lost dignity. Apple jack laughed mercilessly.
Pinkie continued obliviously, “... and you are going to teach him all kinds’a work stuff. Then, later I’ll teach him how to party! I got so many parties planned too. There’s the welcome to Ponyville party, and then all the birthdays he never celebrated with the changelings mega birthday bash, and of course his cutie mark coming of age party!”
I popped back up out of the dirt, and shook off with a groan. When I looked up, whatever words I had for Pinkie were lost as I realized both of them were staring at me. I followed their gaze to my flank. At that moment a sudden gasp, and a rustle from a random bush to the other side of me caught my attention. I jolted to the side, and braced myself for combat.
A little filly with a massive red bow rolled out of the bush onto her chin. After a short tumble head over hooves she popped back up and trotted over. Her mouth was wide open in a show of emotion I hadn’t quite learned yet. Perhaps she was hungry?
The hair on my back stood up. “She isn’t going to eat me is she?” I looked over at Pinkie and Applejack to see that their mouths were open just as wide.
“Sister! He doesn’t have a cutie mark!” The little filly trotted up to me.
I swiftly backpedaled. “I, uhm…” Crack my shell! I’d forgotten that detail, and it’s bitten me in the flank three times now. Twilight had been the first to notice, and Fluttershy the second. At least Fluttershy had been polite about it, and hadn’t probed me with fifty questions. “How could I have forgotten a cutie mark?” I thought out loud. Even I knew what a cutie mark was. Most changelings came from hardluck cutie mark stories. I probably came from one too if I could remember back that far.
They all stared at me with that same open mouthed vacant look.
“Please don’t eat me…” I was starting to feel more than a little uncomfortable at all the open mouths around me. “There’s apples everywhere, and I’m sure they would taste…”
“Forgot your cutie mark? lIke as in ya lost it?” The little filly blurted out over me, shaking her head, and suddenly taking on a very serious attitude. “It’s only the most important thing to everypony ever! It’s not like ya can just drop it under the sofa, or forget to slap it onto yer flank, because you were too busy rushing to school! How do you forget a cutie mark?”
“Applebloom!” Applejack snapped. “Now don’t be rude to Mr. Dreams here. He didn’t grow up in a good place with civilized folk, and hasn't had the chance to find his true calling yet.”
My ear twitched irritably.
Pinkie squealed, and practically vibrated with excitement. “Do you know what this means? It could be anything! He’s still a blank canvas with an infinity of infinite possibilities!”
“Well, I gotta admit that is pretty exciting. So, what are ya good at Mr. Dreams?” Applejack cocked her head to the side. A gesture I took as inquisitive since I’d seen Twilight do it so often. “Have you found anything that you enjoy doing since you’ve been in Ponyville?”
Before I could answer, the perky little filly known as Applebloom bounced up between us. “Yeah, like breaking rocks with your hooves?”
“Oooh-oooh! Or making ponies super happy by just being around them?” Pinkie stared at me with piercing eyes.
I could feel my cheeks flush. “Wh-what? I don’t make ponies happy. At least I don’t think I do. Why would you say that? How would I?”
I couldn’t place the lopsided grin on Applejack’s face. “Yeah, Pinkie… Why don’t you fill us all in? How does S.D. over here make ponies happy?” It was definitely a grin, but something was different. Applejack nudged Pinkie on the shoulder.
“Well duh! He’s always making me smile. Doesn’t he make you smile too?” Pinkie shot back unperturbed.
“Hah! I’m not the one that’s been grinnin’ like a fool this whole time.”
“Oh! I get it!” Applebloom cocked her head to the side. “Pinkie, you like Mr. Dreams? Are you each others special somepony?”
“Of course not!” I blurted out. “She hasn’t bitten me, and I haven’t chased her down yet! There are protocols to courtship rituals that one must follow, and I definitely haven’t… Yeeouch!”
I leapt to the side, and spun around to see Pinkie licking her lips, her pupils getting larger. “Ooh, he tastes like whipped frosting! Dreamy! You are super creamy!”
I rubbed my aching flank in shock.
Applejack face-hooved. “Well, Pinkie, you never were subtle, and try to keep it clean around the kids.”
“I knew you were hungry!” I snapped at her. “Didn’t I say please don’t eat me?” I grabbed an apple off the side of the road, and tossed it to her. “I am not food…”
Applebloom face-hooved just like her sister. “Ya ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, are ya? I think Pinkie is trying to…”
Applejack shoved a hoof in Applebloom’s mouth before she could finish. “No, sis… let him figure it out for himself.”
“But…”
“Look, it’s way more entertaining that way.” Applejack snickered, trying in vain to hold back her mirth.
A small clearing in the grove loomed up ahead at the end of the path. It appeared to be some kind of staging area since multiple carts, equipment, a large tool shed, and many ponies were all running back and forth through it.
I cleared my throat, as I glanced down at the woefully inadequate muscles in my legs, and compared them to Applejack’s. I mumbled to myself. “Hmm, I may need to rethink my current body build.”
Pinkie happily munched on her apple. “Wow, Applejack, there sure are a lot of ponies here today.”
“Yepper! All of em are volunteers from the school. Parents and their foals commin’ to help out for the school’s bake sale during the festival.” Applejack beamed at the organized chaos. “We get a lot of hooves down from Canterlot during these types of events, so we gotta be prepared.”
I cleared my throat to catch her attention. “Ponies share their food with each other? I thought it would be a lot more cut-throat.”
“Whatever kinda crazy talk are you goin’ on about?” Applejack stared at me with that same look from earlier.
Ah, crazy, that defines that look quite well. I mentally filed it away.
“We have extra apples at the end of the season that are just going to go bad, sometimes. So, we hold a festival. The school, and local funds for stuff like cleaning up the parks get what they need, and we get some good advertising to spread the Apple family brand. This year was a good bumper crop, and we got all the apples we can work with till next season. No sense in letting good eats go to waste, right?” Applejack trotted up to a cart, and a rather large red pony.
“Hay, Big Mac! Check out the new guy.” Applebloom trotted up to her brother. “He ain’t got a cutie mark. Isn’t that somethin’?”
Big Mac glanced up from testing a cart wheel. His face was completely blank as he looked me over. “Eeyup…” He turned back to his work.
Applejack trotted up to the cart. “This here’s Big Mac, my brother. He’s ganna hitch you up to this cart.”
“Why?” I stared at what looked to me as a repurposed mining cart, but somepony had filled it full of apples. “Couldn’t magic pull the cart easier?” I was surprised the ponies hadn’t thought of that.
“Eeynope!” Big Mac eyeballed me for a second.
Applebloom giggled. “What my brother’s trying to say is that we don’t use magic on the farm when it comes to workin’ with the apples.”
Applejack nodded. “Yep, and that’s the way it’s gonna stay. Magic ain’t natural. Good ol’ hard work and sweat is gonna get these apples down to the farmhouse so we can keep baking on schedule.”
I nodded. Work was work, and I was just glad not be in Fluttershy’s house with all the animals constantly chattering at me, or having my brain analyzed by Twilight.
Big Mac motioned me over to the cart with a barely perceptible jerk of his head, and a quick motion of his eyes. He then glanced at the crossbar at the end of the carts arms, and my chest.
I crossed my hoof over my chest, wondering if it would hurt with all the weight pressing such a thin bar into the soft flesh of this pony body.
Big Mac shrugged, raised a hoof, and waggled it back and forth. I see, so it does hurt, but not much, and one can get used to it.
I nodded, stepped into place, and lifted the bar up. Big Mac slid a soft harness across my back, and adjusted it so the crossbar was at the right height. He then stepped back, and after a second, raised an eyebrow.
My eyes went wide. Right, he expects me to move forward. I took a step. The wooden cross bar bit into my chest, but then loosened as the cart creaked forward. I took a few more steps, and the cart seemed to move almost effortlessly.
“Ah see you are used to workin’ hard!” Applejack beamed at me. “You will be a lot of help.”
“Oh, well, it’s not that heavy once you get moving.” I shrugged, and glanced back at Big Mac.
He nodded, and I continued moving forward towards the farm house.
“Nah, not that. I mean how you can communicate without too many words gettin’ in the way. You already know what to do without having it all explained out. Means you’ve worked in groups before, and know where ya fit in.”
“You could say that,” I grinned nervously. I looked around for Pinkie absentmindedly, and noticed she was off entertaining a group of children. Applebloom had followed her over. It was just me, Applejack, and her brother.
“Hmm, that looks a bit too easy so far. Let’s load ya up a bit more.” Applejack guided me over to a tree. She gave it a powerful buck and apples rained down into the cart. A few more times, and the cart was brimming with apples. “There, now try it.”
I strained against the cart and nodded. It was definitely a lot harder.
“Is that too much sugarcube?” She gave me a sweet grin that carried the warm distinct flavor of spiced cider.
I glanced over at Big Mac’s cart. He raised an eyebrow, looking between me and his own cart. “Eenope…”
Applejack snickered. “What my brother there’s tryin’ to tell ya is don’t go comparin’ the size of his to yours.”
“Oh, well that does make sense. He is twice my size after all.” I looked back at our carts. His was twice the size of mine, and piled twice as high. “Wow, Big Mac, you sure are strong. I was admiring earlier how the muscles rippled beneath your coat, especially around the flanks, but I had no idea how powerful you really were.”
He turned an extra shade of red, and plodded off.
“Errr… Dreamy, ya might wanna be careful where you lead on with talk like that.” Applejack raised an eyebrow.
“Why?”
“Uhm, look just watch the compliments unless ya really, really, mean them, alright?” She grinned awkwardly.
I pondered her words for a moment. I had known her for a few days now, and had grown more comfortable around Applejack after coming to the shocking terms that she wasn’t actually a soldier, but a food grower.
“Do ponies not like compliments?” I wondered, because changelings definitely like compliments.
She stumbled over the reply. “Uhm, no-no... it’s not like that. Uhm, it’s just… well, we do like them, but ya gotta watch how ya say ‘em and who ya say ‘em to.”
My tone dropped a bit nervously. “Oh… What did I do wrong with that compliment?”
Applejack sighed, and threw a hoof up to my shoulder. The mild spicy stream of love trickled in a bit thicker. “I told him you were raised by changelings, so ahm sure he will understand, but when you go complimentin’ ponies like that, they…” She grinned awkwardly. “Look, they just might get the wrong idea. Uhm, like ya like ‘em or somethin’.”
I raised an eyebrow with a calculated turn of my head to communicate confusion. “But I do like him. He’s very strong, dependable, and I can feel he has a lot of love.”
Applejack stared at me, unblinking. “Uhm, S.D., how… Do you like colts?”
“I guess so.” I furrowed my brow, making sure to communicate the deepening of my confusion. “Why wouldn’t I?”
She blinked a few times, and scratched the back of her head. “Do ya like mares?”
“Yes… I really don’t see where this is going, Applejack. I guess I really haven’t met anypony I particularly dislike. Though Princess Twilight still makes me nervous.”
She shook her head with a sigh. “Don’t worry about it too much, S.D. I’ll have a talk with Twilight later, maybe she can ex…” She stopped mid-thought. “Or perhaps Rar… Uhm… Well yer close to Flutt… no no, that won’ work.” She sat down, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Pinkie, now that could be a disaster waiting to happen, and R.D…” She shuttered.
“What?” Apprehension was suddenly strangling my gut. “What is it? Is it that important? I don’t understand. They are just words, I didn’t mean anything bad by them.”
“I know, simmer down.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Ah, road apples… I’ma gonna have ta do this myself aren’t I?” She shook her head slowly, a hoof rubbing at the bridge of her crinkled up nose.
“Thank you, Applejack.” I could taste the love replaced by stress, and extended a comforting hoof to her shoulder. “It really means a lot that you care so much about me.”
She blushed with a smile. “Oh, Shatter…” She smacked me across the shoulder with a hoof sending me stumbling sideways with an awkward flap of my wings. “Quit yer flertin’! Yer practically family now workin’ on the farm. It’s the least ah can do. But, I’ma need a little time to prepare for this.”
I rubbed the sting out of my shoulder. “Is it complicated?”
“Well… yeah, kinda, but it’s somethin’ yer supposed to learn pretty young. So everypony knows it.” She shook her head. “Don’t worry, S.D., we’ll get you straightened out. I’ll sit down with ya later and teach you about the birds and the bees. Now, get back to work. Days almost done.”
I watched her go with growing confusion.
What could local fauna possibly have to do with social etiquette? I took a deep breath and sighed. It was obviously going to be a long difficult road to mastering socialization.
Applejack called back. “If’n you can haul that load to the farmhouse without breaking a sweat, then we’ll hitch a second cart to the back of it. See how many you can pull.” She grinned at me. “Cause it’s gonna be a long haul, and we need all the muscle we can get.”
“It’s not that far to the farmhouse.” I glanced up to see the farm wasn’t more than a ten minute trot. I began making steady headway as I paced myself with the heavy load.
Applejack guffawed. “Hah! Not to the farmhouse S.D., but into town. This load’s going down to Granny. The big haul comes tomorrow when we hitch the strongest ponies here to the cart trains, and haul the whole lot down to Ponyville so everypony can join in on the baking.”
Pinkie piped up from behind me. She was suddenly laying in the cart on the apples munching on one. She squirrel cheeked the bite, and winked at me. “I max out at four.”
Applejack cut her off. “Four is when her line becomes unstable, and carts start tippin’ over ‘cause she cain’t pay attention for more than thirty seconds. Don’t pay no mind to that though. Earth ponies like us have a bit of an upper hoof. If you can pull two, I’d be mighty grateful.”
I trotted silently towards the farmhouse while listening to Applejack and Pinkie chatter back and forth. It wasn’t long before we reached the barn, and they unhitched me. Applejack skillfully hitched me up to a train of three empty carts for the return trip.
Applejack hummed a little as she worked. “Alrighty, playtimes over. Now that ya got yer hooves wet, let’s move on to three carts. That’s what most heavy workin’ ponies can pull without overdoing it.”
I nodded and started on the path back up the hill. Applejack was pulling a few empty carts as well. Pinkie rode in the first cart of my train while throwing out the occasional, “Heya! Heya mule!”
I studied her social techniques and came to the conclusion she was indeed a filly still, though she looked much like a mare. I pondered on it. Filly or mare, I really hadn’t had any experience in pony aging, nor the stages of development.
“So,” Applejack broke through my fascination with Pinkie’s daydreams, “got any siblings?”
I thought for a moment. “I suppose you could call them that, thought there’s just too many to count.”
“Haha! Yeah, I know that feelin’.” She rolled her eyes. “How bout’ cousins?”
“Oh, don’t get me started! Soo many, but I know them ‘all’ by name, every one.” I smiled in thought of all my family back at the hive. A small pang of guilt stabbed at my chest at the thought of how I abandoned them.
Applejack whistled. “Tight nit family ya got there. I like that. Nothin’ more important than family.”
I thought for a moment. “Yes, we were very close. I used to live with all of them. Our ‘beds’ were packed in pretty tight.”
“Aww, poverty is rough.” She nodded over at me understandingly.
"Well, we really never had any money at all. We were self sufficient, and money has no value to my family anyway."
“Now that’s the spirit!” Applejack guffawed and stamped up the hill with a little more gusto.
Pinkie was leaning on the edge of the front of the cart, her head in her hooves as she listened. “I thought you grew up with changelings though? Did they take your whole family too?” She gasped, “cousins and all?”
Applejack stopped and turned back, staring at me with wide eyed shock. “I’m so sorry! I hadn’t even thought of that…”
I looked back and forth between them in confusion. “What? I thought you were talking about the changelings I lived with. They are my family.”
“That’s not any kind’a family fit for a pony!” Applejack turned and glared at me. “Why, if’n they were here, I’d show em’ a thing or two for keepin’ a colt hostage!”
I gritted my teeth and stared hard at the path in front of me as I picked up pace.
Pinkie chimed in. “Applejack! How can you talk about a pony’s family like that? Even if they were changelings, that doesn’t mean they are any less family.”
“They are changelings! A right proper family is parents, siblings, and cousins. Ya cain’t tell me you’d consider a bunch of monsters as parents, brothers, and sisters!”
My chest squeezed at Applejack’s words. They bit me down to the bone, but I held my tongue. I had survival to think of, and getting into a fight with those who I depended upon for that survival was suicide.
Such logic had always made sense to me. It was sound. It was smart. It was necessity.
“No!”
A surprise jolt of adrenaline up my spine stopped me in my tracks, and I quickly craned my neck to look back at Pinkie.
She glared at me with forelegs crossed over her chest. “No…” She repeated sternly, as if chiding a dog.
I blinked at her in surprise, and then something exploded in my brain. Something that hadn’t been there before. It was as if that word ripped apart the walls that kept my emotions in check. A heat burned through my limbs. It seared up my neck and down my cheeks. Images of my family came to mind as I remembered all the good times, and all the support they had given me.
Applejack had also stopped, and was looking back at Pinkie. “What in tarnation Pinkie?”
“No!” I glared at Applejack. “They are my family! They are a great family! They took care of me when I’d lost all hope of survival. I lived comfortable and happy. We played games, and the hive would listen to me tell stories for hours! Not a lot of changelings have good enough memories to keep stories for very long, so I used my talents to collect them, and I would keep their spirits up when they were sad. Many of them would help me when I was sad too.”
Tears welled up into my eyes. What was I doing?
“Changelings can’t cry on the outside, it kills them, so they have to cry on the inside. They bottle it up, and can’t let it out. If they do, they bleed to death, but they don’t actually die. They become mindless drones capable of basic work and shapeshifting. It’s a horrible existence one can never return from.”
The tears cascaded down my muzzle. Why? Does ‘no’ really have such a profound meaning that it can just shatter through my inhibitions?
“I watched so many meet that fate. So many kind and gentle brethren who lost their control and succumbed to the pain in their hearts. My stories would help them. Even if just for a moment, my stories would bring them smiles, or help them forget their sadness. I wasn’t the only one either. A lot of the changelings would do that. They would help each other, because they understood that pain, and by sharing it, they could help relieve some. They would reach out and comfort one another when things became too much to bear.”
I choked on a sob. Stupid word!
“Yet so many were lost! It didn’t matter what we did. The pain and sorrow of depression isn’t something you can just wipe away. It takes family to fight it. That family may not always be the ones you were born with. When I was broken, the changelings were there for me.”
Against all my better judgement I met Applejack’s gaze hard.
“Don’t insult my family! They are as good as any blood born pony kin.”
Applejack smiled and pulled her hat down over her eyes. “Well said S.D. I’m mighty proud to call you friend.”
I tried shaking the confusion off of my brain. “What… just… happened?” I looked back at Pinkie.
She just giggled and shrugged. She then pantomimed cracking a whip. “Heeya mule!”
I got back to work, my head buzzing with questions. I caught Pinkie and Applejack sharing glances with one another a few times. There was definitely something I was missing here.
Beyond all that, I was still having the most bizarre case of deja’ vu.