//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1: Dragons and socks 
// Story: One in a Trillion: Lemons 
// by UnkleBumbleHeck 
//------------------------------//

"Here's the situation," she said to me in a voice somewhere between cautious panic and seething anger. My sister, Crimson Skyes, always had a way with showin' a whole complex of emotions. All at once.

See, if you'd ever meet her in person, you'd say she was about as shy as a butterfly, but if you ever were to encounter her while she was doin' somethin' business related, you'd say she's about 2 hooves away from bein' the devil incarnate. That mare has gumption.

"Are you even listening to me?"

Whoops. "Uh, why don't you start over? I was uh, havin' a mental dialogue on how pretty ya are today."

"Arron," she nickered. "We both know that's a buncha horseapples. Ugh, fine. So, the situation is, there was going to be 15 party platters for the gala and ceremony, but..." She clopped her hoof against her face. I swear, she does that more than anypony rightly should. "How does a shopowner manage to leave such an important delivery out in the open like that! Apparently, 4 of those platters were taken by, well, somepony."

"Or someponies." I put in a couple'a bits. Speakin'a bits, "Well hay, girl, why not just buy four more?"

"They were special deliveries, Arron! It's not like I can just summon 4 more out of thin air by flashin' some money! Be a better world if I could."

Yeah, shoulda thought that one through. "Hang on, sis. The platters came from Ponyville right? Sugarcube Corner? That new place down near town square?"

"Yes, and this order nearly put the poor couple running the place out of supplies." Crimson was now restin' her head on her hoof, face down, on said hoof.

"Well piss-apple-pies. T'ain't there nowhere else we can get them platters from?" Honestly, it wasn't really none of my concern, not officially at least, but it was still important. What's a gala without them uh... Hours devours... Thingies. Fancy ne'er was my forte.

"It's one of their opening specialties, and their only real source of resources is that apple farm what's been there for decades near the town. But there's no way we could make the trip there, pick up the right stuff, get it to the Cakes, and have them platters back here to Canterlot in time. The gala's just two days away! An' on top of all that, will you guess what happened to Vera Charm?" Oh boy, Vera. Up'n comin' musical star, supposedly uses 4 instruments at once with her magic. Witch, I says.

"No, sis, I really gots no idea," I wasn't too interested in what mess that loony got into.

"Well, she had made an order for some new instruments about six months ago, specifically for this event, and they were supposed to arrive last week." If Crimson wasn't already leanin' on her hoof, she'd of facehoofed again. "Well, a package arrived, all right. Four, in fact, just as shoulda been. But can you guess what was inside?"

"Snake tamin' chimps with pink polka-dots 'n laser eyes?" I figured I'd at least try to make a little light of the situation, 'fore Crimson burst a blood vessel.

May have had the opposite of the intended effect, 'cus she managed to facehoof again, usin' her other hoof.

"No, it wasn't a bunch of chimps. You're not helping with the jokes, by the way!" I had to disagree, as seein' her bury her face in her hooves was pretty funny. "This is important! If Vera isn't able to play at the gala, oh I don't even want to know what the media backlash will be like! I might get exiled from Canterlot!"

Whoa nelly. "Now you hang on right there, sis. First off, sit up straight, you look downright silly like that. You ain't gonna take no medium-"

"Media." She corrected me, although it sounded to me like we said the same things.

"Backlash," I continued. "Y'all ain't even responsible for puttin' this together. It's the Equestrian Military throwin' this whole thing for the new initiates in the Royal Guard, right? They'll take any medium backlash fer any buck-ups. Now, what the hay was in the boxes?"

Getting back on track from our temporarily derailed conversation, Crimson just steamed right on with it. "Well, she ended up with four large shipments of socks. White as an analogy I ain't botherin' to make up right now." She almost facehoofed again, but caught the look I was givin' her and stopped. I really need to break her from that habit. "You won't even guess what Aussi had me do the other day! A cupcake! Just one. For some reason he thought having me run and get a cupcake for his marefriend would resolve the little spat they were havin'."

"Keep on topic, sis. You're 'bout as wild as a buffalo right now, chill it down a bit."

She sighed and nodded, visibly forcin' herself to relax. "Okay," she started after a pause. "Well, I'm already organizing to find Vera's instruments. But when I saw her last, she was about a hop skip and a slump away from needin' a shrink. This whole thing is about got her all wigged out. And, I need to find whoever's responsible for takin' those platters. It doesn't do any good to let thievery like that go un-dealt with."

An idea struck me just then, and it slapped a great big grin on my face. "How 'bout this, sis. I figure your little exposition on how tough it'll be to get s'more of them platters was a might exaggerated. I bet I could get you another 4 of them platters by the gala with plenty o' time t' spare. 8 of 'em, even!"

This time, Crimson did laugh, even though I wasn't makin' a joke. "There's no way, Arron! That trip's nigh impossible anyhow, with the railways out like they been. You plannin' on flying those platters all the way from Ponyville to Canterlot?"

"Hey. I'm the fastest courier pony t' come outta Cloudsdale, and ain't no question 'bout it. I bet if I traveled o'ernight, I could get them platters by tomorrow." This was startin' to sound like a challenge, to me.

"Now you hold on right there, cowpony." She stood her front hooves up on the table, wings all flared up like she was 'bout t' pounce me. I just kept'a grinnin'. "I don't want you flying between Ponyville and Canterlot anyhow. That whole stretch is full up with the sort of critters that jus' get mad if you try'n fight 'em. And! And I heard there was a dragon attack on one of the settlements out there just last week! You ain't going no-wheres near that mess."

"Says you." Best part about bein' siblings, is you can get a rile outta each other real easy. Which works in my favor. "Says I, yer older brother, might I remind you," I intoned. "Says I, this has to get done. And like I said, fastest courier pony outta Cloudsdale. Don't matter if there's a dragon, an ursa major, or a dern invasion from them changey whatsits, I'll out-fly 'em all, and Barron Skyes don't ne'er quit on a job."

"Hey," Crimson said hushedly, getting back in her seat and lookin' round real suspectin'-like. Weird mare, that one. "Don't talk about that. The Changelings are a serious threat. If they were to invade..."

"Yeah yeah, I was jus' makin' a point. Look, I can do this for you. If not as a courier, then as your brother. Besides, ain't cousin Rolo gettin' sworn in at this thing?"

"Yeah, he is actually." She sighed, apparently resignin' to the idea at last. "Okay, if you think you can make it. But even still, be darn careful, Arron! You might be fast, but dragons is big! Real big, and I don't figure you'd make the trip if'n you was barbecued on the way. And I still gotta take care of this problem with Vera..." She threw one of her hooves up to give me a look at it. "Just look at these socks, though! They look pretty nice, don't you think?"

Somehow I didn't find socks to be much appealin' in terms of aerodynamics. They came all the way up her legs, and were about as white as a freshly made cloud.

"And," she went on, "You'll have to have the platters made, and you'll probably have to pay for them yourself, as the gala bill only covered for those 15. You'll be real pressed for time, Arron."

"Pressed fer time?" I chuckled. "Might as well be my middle name. Y'all can count on me to get the job done, and done right and in time. That's the Barron Skyes way."

"Well, all-righty then," she finally agreed! "I don't know if I'll be able to pay you immediately-"

"Hold it!" I stopped her. "Ain't no way I'm acceptin' payment from me sister. Consider this an act o' pride. Ain't no way I'm gonna let you tell me I can't out-fly a dragon without provin' you wrong."

She fretted over that, although I could see 'er fightin' off a grin. "Don't go looking to race the darn thing!"

A race with a dragon, huh? That could be fun.