The Clock Is Ticking
by Present Perfect
Day 4
It's a beautiful day, thought Rainbow Blitz as he walked down Main Street looking for lunch. Learning to fly as a stallion had been a challenge, yes, but he'd overcome it easily thanks to his usual sheer awesomeness. Now he was flying with more power than ever before, which made clearing clouds easier, nevermind the extra work the weather team gave him. He was rightly proud of the work he'd done this morning. Thanks to his newfound prowess, they'd gotten the weather up a whole half hour earlier than anticipated. His coworkers were not shy about being impressed with "Rainbow Dash's brother".
But therein lay the problem. The mares were a little more than just impressed, and he'd found himself the center of unwanted attention on more than one occasion. It was strange. Normally, he liked being the center of attention, but this kind of attention was not the kind that made him feel awesome. Rather, he felt just a little... weird. Or icky. Or something just not-cool.
He didn't quite get it, but even out in the street, it was still going on. As he walked past the cafés and shops of downtown Ponyville, mares turned to watch him. Some followed his path with their eyes, mouths agape. Others spit drinks or suddenly became preoccupied fixing nonexistent problems with their mane. There were fluttering eyelashes. There were half-lidded glances. There were mares everywhere.
He took to the air, speeding toward the marketplace. The flight lasted just a few seconds, but the extra distance between himself and the leering café mares made him feel just that much safer. Not that he felt unsafe or afraid or anything. It was just... weird. Breathing a sigh of relief, he trotted to the first stall vending food.
"Hey, could I have like... three carrots?"
"Sure," said the mare behind the counter, bringing forth the desired number and placing them on the plank in front of her. "Anything for you."
"Uh... Yeah. How much do I owe you?"
The salesmare lidded her eyes. "I never knew Rainbow Dash had such a... strong brother."
Blitz began sweating. "Yeah, well, my, uh, sis was never really, uh, big on talking about her family."
The carrots hit the dirt with a soft thump as the mare slid across the counter. Grinning like a pony fresh from the salt lick, she threw a foreleg around his neck and drew him in close.
"I wouldn't mind talking family with you, big boy," she said, her voice low and husky. "Babies are family, right?"
"Geez, lady, personal space!" He backpedaled as fast as he could out of her embrace, only to bump into another pony behind him.
He whirled around. Unsurprisingly, it was another drunken mare. Literally drunk, as in 'swaying on her hooves'. His eye twitched.
"S-sorry," he mumbled.
Further apology was cut off by a slurred, "You kin bump inta me all you want, hot shtuff, I don' care..."
By then the carrot seller had wormed her way entirely out of her stall. "Hey!" she shouted. "I saw him first! Buzz off!"
The mare he had bumped into scowled, spreading her forelegs and bringing her head close to the ground. "He ain't gotcher name on 'im! Why dontchoo make me?"
Within seconds, they were tussling on the ground, biting, pulling manes, and shouting a whole slew of very unladylike things.
"Yeah," he said, rivers of sweat down his face, "I'm just gonna, uh..." He zipped off, checked himself, zipped back to grab the carrots, then zipped off once more. After all, he'd paid for them already, and he was still hungry.
Unfortunately, his escape from the marketplace did not go unnoticed. Mares caught sight of him and followed below. Bouquets of flowers smacked into his face at high speed. He grabbed one to supplement his lunch while trying not to look behind himself. That way lay only chaos and destruction, a neverending stream of dust clouds marking the spots where mares by the score had begun fighting for the chance to throw their wares at him first.
Did making a foal really need to be this difficult?
The sounds of mortal combat faded and soon he realized he was alone for the first time all morning. Unconsciously, he had made his escape to the safest place in Ponyville he could think of: Fluttershy's cottage.
"Finally," he muttered to himself, "some freakin' quiet."
He chewed on the flowers while debating what to do. Deciding that being chased through downtown by a swarm of crazy ponies didn't count against his lunch hour, he trotted up to the door and knocked.
"Wh-who is it?"
"Hey, it's Rainbow. I--"
Something drew his attention back to the road. From the direction of the marketplace came the sounds of a herd of ponies marching and, if his ears weren't deceiving him, chanting.
He did not want to know what they were saying.
Whirling, he hammered on the door.
"Fluttershy, let me in, help! I'm too ridiculously good-looking for my own good!"
The door creaked open after a second and he disappeared inside, ruing his rainbow contrail. He did a u-turn and landed on his knees, clinging to Fluttershy's leg.
"Hide me, quick, before they find me!"
Fluttershy squeaked and turned a deep shade of umber.
"F-find you? Who..."
The chanting grew in volume until it was audible through the walls.
"Them!"
Fluttershy nodded and pointed to a dark corner behind her sofa. With the application of a decorative rug and a birdhouse, he was soon camouflaged perfectly with the rest of her cottage. The moment his disguise was complete, there came a knock at the door. Fluttershy gave him an over-dramatic wink, then answered it.
"Who iiiis iiiit?" she sang.
"Open up, Fluttershy!" It was the carrot seller. "We know you've got the rainbow hunk in there, and we're not gonna let you keep him all to yourself!"
"Oh my!" Fluttershy gave him another broad wink and opened the door. Poking her head through, she said, "You're absolutely right. He did come in here."
The mares grumbled. Rainbow nibbled at his hooves, the decorative rug soaking with sweat.
"But," Fluttershy continued, "he flew upstairs and right out my back window into the Everfree Forest! I'm so sorry, ladies, but you just missed him."
There was a low commotion outside the door, and the chant resumed.
"What do we want?"
"Man flank!"
"When do we want it?"
"Now!"
Rainbow's blood ran cold.
"To the Forest, ladies! Charge!"
The sound of galloping hoofsteps receded, took a right turn around the cottage, and faded into the distance as Fluttershy closed the door. A list of the numerous horrors lurking in the Everfree momentarily flashed through Rainbow's mind. He wondered if Fluttershy hadn't just sent a large portion of Ponyville's populous to their untimely deaths.
Whatever, they'd be fine.
He jumped up, spilling the birdhouse's occupants to the floor, and gave Fluttershy a tight hug.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was a little scared you were gonna sell me out there, but I never should have doubted you, you're the best friend ever! They've been harrassing me all day and I--"
It was then that Rainbow noticed something odd. For starters, given his enthusiasm plus his increased musculature, he should be crushing the life out of Fluttershy, but she didn't seem to be complaining. For seconds, she was not only returning the hug, but also rubbing her hooves slowly up and down his back. Lastly, she was making little cooing sounds that would have been adorable if not for the ordeal he had just been through.
"Uh, Fluttershy, are you okay?"
With a tiny giggle, she looked up at him, smiling out from behind her mane. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes unfocused. Rainbow swallowed.
"Oh, Rainbow," she said in a dreamy voice, "I'd never sell you out to those common tarts. Um, excuse my language." She seemed to return to her old self for a moment, but with a small cough, her eyes unfocused once more. "Not when I can have you all to myself!"
She hugged him tightly, nestling her head up under his chin, and he went completely stiff.
Completely.
"Fluttershy, c'mon, hey..." He released his grip, shaking her gently. "I'm still your friend Rainbow Dash, okay? Focus here!"
"Oh my!" Fluttershy shook her head, pushing away from him. "Oh, Rainbow, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me!"
"I-it's okay." He ran a hoof over his mane, chuckling. "I was afraid for a second that you'd gotten like them."
They both landed, Fluttershy taking deep breaths and Rainbow trying not to look at her.
"Uh..."
"So..."
"W-well." Fluttershy ducked behind her mane, pawing at the ground. "It's just that even if you are Rainbow Dash on the inside, on the outside, well, um..." She swallowed. "I just never have stallions over at my place, a-and you're very handsome, if you don't mind me saying so, that is..."
Rainbow's mouth went dry. "Fluttershy, what are you doing." It wasn't a question, because he couldn't muster the energy to change tone.
"Um, and well, the first time I saw you, I was just s-so surprised, I didn't know what to do..."
He groaned. "C'mon, Flutters, don't do this to me!"
"Oh, Rainbow!" Fluttershy surged forward, catching Rainbow off guard. Despite her slight frame and general lack of athleticism, she knocked him over and pinned him. She stared into his eyes with the intensity of a hungry Everfree predator. He began to sweat once more.
"W-would it..." Her voice broke, and she started whispering. "Would it be too much if I... Um..." She worried her lower lip, eyes fearful but never leaving his. "C-could you kiss me? Just once, I mean. Just a tiny one would be okay... I, I just... I really... I've never..."
"A-ha!"
Both Fluttershy and Rainbow Blitz looked up to the open door. In it stood an earth pony with poofy mane, silhouetted against the noonday sun. She was trying to catch her breath and her voice was unmistakable.
Rainbow swallowed. "Pinkie, this isn't what it looks like, I swear!"
"I knew something was up the moment I saw the marketplace!" Pinkie leapt into the cottage, glaring at both of them. "First the stalls were all empty, then I saw all the food was sitting out in the open, and I mean who leaves their food sitting around without selling it, isn't that what markets are for?" She giggled. "And then I realized there was lots of food lying in the dirt, like a bunch of ponies had trampled it, and then I thought, gasp! stampede! but then my withers got tingly, and that means somepony's gone into the Everfree Forest, which makes no sense, because come on, usually ponies stampede away from the Everfree, and then I got a twitchy tooshie--" Pinkie shook her head, dispelling her momentary smile in favor of her previous glare-- "which means one of my best friends is trying to hustle in on my boo-boo!"
Fluttershy cast a glance from Pinkie down to Rainbow and then back. Only then did Rainbow Blitz understand the true depths of the pure mania gripping all those the mares. If Fluttershy was able to hesitate in front of an irate Pinkie Pie...
He suddenly felt very sorry for the monsters in the forest.
"I-I'm sorry, Pinkie," Fluttershy said at last, stepping away from him. "I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry..."
Pinkie zipped up to her, planting her nose against Fluttershy's and glaring at her. "You'd better be sorry!"
Fluttershy shrank back. "I am."
"And you're not gonna set hoof near Rainbow until he's back to his old mare self, right?"
Fluttershy tried to shrink back more, but Pinkie matched her move for move. "R-right. I Pinkie Promise."
Pinkie smiled good-naturedly. "Okie-day! I'm glad you learned your lesson!" She gave Fluttershy a hug and Rainbow laughed.
"Whew," he said, "I'm glad that's over. You know, Pinks, I've been thinking--"
"Nope!" Pinkie jumped on top of him, growling and glaring as though she hadn't just made up with Fluttershy five seconds ago. "No words outta you, mister! You're coming home with me right now!"
One of Rainbow's lightning-bolt eyebrows rose, but that was all he had time to do before Pinkie grabbed his tail in her teeth and hopped back toward Ponyville. With every hop, he lifted into the air a foot or so and then came slamming back down chin-first into the pavement.
"Pinkie, I-- ow. Can we-- ow. Please-- ow. Talk? Ow!"
"Nope!" Pinkie said through her teeth. "You're gonna have a long time-out to think about what you've done! And no nookie for you tonight!"
Despite the continued jolts of pain through his jaw, Rainbow couldn't help but laugh.
"Pinkie, ow, you can't, ow, know just, ow, how good, ow, that is, ow, to hear!"