//------------------------------// // Making Sense of Things // Story: Bloom Filter // by ferret //------------------------------// Apple Bloom rode together in between Granny and Applejack in their big green pickup, with Big Mac lounging in the back, while following the nurse’s car where Doctor Stable rode as a passenger, the peculiar little entourage heading across town to the doctor’s office and clinic. Granny and Big Mac were silent but Applejack was talking the whole way. “How you doin’ Apple Bloom?” she asked the girl who sat sandwiched in between her and Granny. Applejack was at the wheel but she certainly didn’t have trouble talking out the side of her face while doing so. Granny seemed content to lean heavily on the window, staring out into the distance. Apple Bloom didn’t really want to think about it much less talk, so she said a little resentfully after a long pause, “...mah tail hurts.” It didn’t exactly hurt persay; she was more hurt that it existed at all and she couldn’t put it out of her mind. It wasn’t comfortable to kink it up against her back, and it grinded into the edge of her belt if she tried to put it between her legs, so she just had it kind of curling sideways along the edge of her pants, just barely sticking out behind her on the right. Pressed up against the plush car seat, it was starting to feel like it was going numb. Which honestly wouldn’t bother her one bit, because she wasn’t supposed to feel anything down there, but she couldn’t imagine it was the healthiest way to sit. “Must be plum weird havin’ a tail,” Applejack mused in her regard. “The ears are weirder, t’be honest,” Apple Bloom admitted. “They keep moving when ah hear stuff.” “Can you hear better now?” Applejack suggested. “You wouldn’t believe it!” Apple Bloom exclaimed giving her sis a wild eyed look. “Ah’m just glad the cab is insulated, or ah’d be holdin’ the things against my head from the noise!” She demonstrated by grabbing them in her hands and actually holding them against her head. After another pause, Applejack asked quietly, “How you holdin’ up?” Apple Bloom sighed and slumped, saying “Ah’m scared sis. This ain’t supposed to happen... what’s gonna happen to me?” “We’ll always be there for you Apple Bloom,” Applejack said, “Ah just want you to know that. You could change into a potted plant and I’d still water you every day, and ah wouldn’t rest until I found out how to save you.” Apple Bloom frowned at the implications of that, but she said, “Thanks sis... I guess.” “We’ll figure this out Apple Bloom,” Applejack said comfortingly, “Bad things just don’t happen without some way to make them right again. If we figure what’s causin’ it then there’ll surely be a way to– to... y’ said you knew somethin’ about what was causin’ it?” “It’s the golden apple,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah know it sounds stupid, but it’s the only idear ah got. Ah was out in the woods past the farm house, and ah thought it was a dream but... well, then this happened.” “What was the dream about?” Applejack asked curiously. “Any little bit could help.” “Ah was lookin’ for the golden apple,” Apple Bloom explained, “Ah don’t know how I knew about it an’ all. It was just obvious, from the dream. Y’know how that is?” “Heh, yeah, dreams have their own weird set of rules to them,” Applejack admitted. “So me and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle we were out in the woods lookin’ for the apple, and Scootaloo was kinda scared, and Sweetie was all scratched up because she’s about as woodsy as a powder puff, but we kept goin’ because it was real important.” “Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, those are your friends from school, right?” Applejack asked. The truck made an easy left turn, going down a second major street. “Yeah they’re mah best friends!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “And they were helpin’ me look. So ah found a silver meadow, ah mean, it looked silver ‘cause of the moonlight, but—” “Yeah ah ‘m with ya there,” Applejack confirmed. “It was all round, kinda like we were standin’ on the moon. Ah... don’t know how to describe it. But there was just one little apple sapling there, and it had this one big huge fruit on it an’ nothin’ else.” “The golden apple?” Applejack guessed. “Yeah it was!” Apple Bloom responded. “It was all gold and, and like it was metal, but it was like it was bright as day. It was night everywhere except the apple. It was like a piece of sunshine...” “So you found the apple,” Applejack prompted, “And then...” “Then ah picked it,” Apple Bloom said mournfully, “Ah didn’t know it would—ah mean ah thought it was like a wish, or somethin’, but it was just an apple. And before we could put it away, it exploded!” “Like, a bomb?” “No like, like a camera flash. It just all turned into light. When ah could see again Sweetie and Scootaloo were all big and stuff, or so ah thought. But they looked at me like I was some kinda monster, and when ah looked at mahself ah didn’t have hands anymore! A-and this big old tail between mah legs.” “Them too?” “No, just me... ah was the only one touchin’ the apple when it went off.” “Then what happened?” Apple Bloom pursed her lips, and said, “Then ah just woke up.” “So it was a dream?” Applejack pressed. “Ah woke up in bed but... if it was a dream, then why am I changing into it?” Applejack just shook her head slowly. “Ah’m sorry Applejack,” Apple Bloom said hopelessly to her big sis, “Ah wish ah knew more, but that’s the only thing. The rest of mah day was normal, and it was only the next day that it just started happening out of the blue.” Applejack kept on silently for a while, then said, “You’re more help than you know it, sis. You said you dreamed about your friends, so now we know to call up mah friend Rarity, and whoever Scootaloo’s parents are too.” “But why would—” Apple Bloom froze, “You don’t think they’re changing too, do you?!” Applejack hesitated, but said, “It’s just something to think about. They’re probably fine, but if they ain’t then ah could call them and stop a lot of panic, pain and hardship.” She smiled, glancing at Apple Bloom and said, “And it’d be all thanks to you that they were safe.” “It’d be all thanks to me that they were cows,” Apple Bloom countered gloomily. “You ain’t changing into a cow!” Applejack said firmly. “Well, whatever ah am,” she snapped back grouchily, “Some kind of weird cat with no paws. It’s just weird... too weird.” “Did you ask them about the dream?” Applejack said switching topics. Apple Bloom lit up in rememberance. “Oh, yeah! That’s why it cain’t be a dream, because they both said they had the same dream. And that cain’t happen for real.” “Neither can changin’ into a cow,” Applejack observed. Apple Bloom’s ears flattened out disgustedly. “Yeah, yeah ah get it. So maybe it was a uh, magic dream or somethin’. So what?” “So,” Applejack said, “They saw you in the dream. That means they got a— oh look we’re here.” The pickup pulled into the parking lot behind the nurse’s beat up old convertible, and everyone piled out. Apple Bloom had to cinch her belt tighter again. She was noticeably several inches shorter than she used to be. It was crazy she was almost eye level with the door knobs. Apple Bloom hadn’t been this short since her... uh, last birthday. OK so she was kind of young, big deal! Getting shorter by any degree is medifically impossible. Not to mention that her height didn’t account for the added height of her increasingly loose boot pumps. “They saw you in the dream, huh? That means they got a good look at you, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said while the doctor was hurrying them past the receptionist straight to the X-ray room. “Maybe they could tell what you’re supposed to be!” “Oh please ask them!” Apple Bloom said fretfully, “They said they didn’t know but maybe if they think real hard about it... I just gotta know!” “I’ll be right outside, Apple Bloom,” Applejack assured her, “Don’t you worry ah’ll get right in touch. Uh, that said, do ya know who Scootaloo’s parents are?” Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah this real nice lady named Cheerilee. She’s the school librarian too!” Applejack nodded, “Yeah ah think ah know how to get ahold of her then.” And with that, Apple Bloom had to stand perfectly still for a barrage of X-rays. It was even more tortuous than taking a school photo, and that says something. She had to grin and bear it though, well she couldn’t even grin because that would involve moving. The doctor’s assistant X-ray specialist, a cool looking lady with blue and white hair, moved the machine around Apple Bloom, making her hold still while she ran off and fired it from behind a lead curtain. “Are you sure this is safe?” Apple Bloom asked worriedly when the lady ran back there. “Oh, no no no X-rays are perfectly safe,” the technician assured her. “You would have to be exposed to them all day every day, over and over again for years, before you were in any real danger. Say for instance, if you’re an X-ray technician. That’s why I have to use the lead screen, but it’s safe for you.” “Ah guess...” Apple Bloom said still nervously. “Of course they could give you cancer just like that,” the technician went on blithely, even cheerfully, “But you also could have gotten struck by lightning out in the parking lot, and you could have suffered a fatal heart attack in the waiting room, and I don’t see you worrying about that!” “Well ah wasn’t!” Apple Bloom complained worriedly. “More X-rays hit you from space every year,” she argued, “So don’t worry about it, and hold still! You need to stay perfectly still or it will come out blurry, and then the doctor won’t be able to see your broken bones!” “Ah ain’t got any brok—” “Ah! Still.” “But–” “Still~” So Apple Bloom grinned and bore it, resolving to never walk outside again without a lead umbrella over her head. She may have been feeling a mite more alarmist than usual today, what with the whole changing into an animal thing frazzling her nerves. Just one of those days, you know? At last it was over, and Apple Bloom jogged out of the X-ray room, pausing to look at the technician and say, “You’re bein’ awfully professional about this.” “Hmm?” the technician said tapping on an embedded keyboard and not paying a whole lot of attention. “You know, not referrin’ to the fact that I ain’t all human anymore.” “Your X-rays should be ready in 20 minutes or so,” she responded distantly, “Don’t put weight on it until the doctor has verified nothing is broken.” “Weight on what?” Apple Bloom complained irritably. “Mah tail?” The technician furrowed her brow. “No your—” she said, then turned to squint at Apple Bloom, “Wait, what?” Apple Bloom looked back at the technician nervously as the lady’s eyes got wider and wider, trying to keep her tail from twitching behind her. Darn thing had a mind of its own. Apple Bloom pulled her pants up again and cleared her throat nervously. “Back into the machine!” the technician shouted, pushing Apple Bloom into the X-ray room again. “Nooooo!” Apple Bloom cried... but there was nothing to be done about it. So, after getting extra special X-rays on her... her tail Apple Bloom was finally free of the evil technician. The Nurse Snowheart was gone, returning to the school to let that poor English class out of their self imposed imprisonment. Applejack, Big Mac and Granny were still there, and so was Doctor Stable, which was sensible as it was his office after all. Once the doctor got his claws on her, he pushed her through a battery of tests that made her head spin. Some moments stood out in her head. “Hmm, you’re running a fever...” he pondered looking at the thermometer. “...or maybe not. Most animals have a higher body temperature.” “Ah see we’re off to a great start here.” “Don’t get snippy with me young lady!” ... “May I take a blood sample?” he asked eagerly, “If it becomes isolated from the process it might be the key to getting you back to normal again!” “Really?” Apple Bloom asked hopefully. The doctor sort of wilted, “No, not really. But it would be tragic if it became an option in the future and we had not done it. Plus I can run some tests on it.” “Ah guess...” Apple Bloom said unhappily. She didn’t have any problem with needles, but she just didn’t see how this was going to help anything. ... “We should go check on the cows,” Big Mac said at one point as the afternoon got on. Apple Bloom gave him a sad look, but he was right. “You two can handle it,” Granny instructed to Big Mac and Applejack. “Ah’ll stay with Apple Bloom.” “But—!” Applejack protested. “No buts!” Granny insisted. “You ain’t doin her any favors stayin’ here and gettin’ in the way. This way you can settle things at the farm and have dinner ready for us when we come home.” She emphasized those last words very clearly. Apple Bloom just wanted to be home now, and away from that stupid school and this scary office that was full of staring people and tests. Thankfully before she left, Applejack insisted on trying her best to get ahold of her friend Rarity, and, by extension Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom wished she was old enough for a cell phone because that would have made it so much easier to just contact them directly. As is, Applejack could only stand there trying to convince Rarity not to panic. The conversation was, of course, one sided, but Apple Bloom could pick up some of Rarity’s panicked words on the other side thanks to her “super ears”. “Hey Rarity,” Applejack had said all friendly-like. “..., hello Applejack!” came Rarity’s tinny voice over the phone’s speaker. “Say, Sweetie Belle doesn’t have animal ears does she?” Applejack asked casually. “...y, what?” “Big old conical ears on her head, all movin’ around. She doesn’t have those, right?” “... ... a joke, Applejack?” “What about a tail? Sweetie Belle got a tail growing in?” “... do you mean a tail??” “Just what ah said! And does her tail look just like her head hair?” “... Belle does not ... ... tail!” “Well, that’s a relief,” Applejack said, leaning against the wall as she talked. “What about the ears though? Her ears movin’ to the top of her head?” “... don’t know, Applejack. ... ... this about?” “Well mah sister got herself cursed to turn into an animal or something, and she was with Sweetie and Scootaloo when it happened, so I was wonderin’ if the curse got them too?” “... ... curse?! Sweetie ... isn’t ... ... check on ... ... hold on Sweetie ...’s coming! (click) (bzzzzz)” Applejack called her back a couple times, finally got ahold of her. “Rarity!” Applejack said urgently, “Ah didn’t mean like a curse ah meant like some kind of enchantment or somethin’” “...! ...! could you ...! Sweetie is ... the poor dear her ... is ruined ... ... all my fauhauhault!” “Sorry to hear that Rarity, but ah really gotta know. Is Sweetie Belle changing into some kind of non-human critter?” “...-human?! ... dare ... Applejack! Sweetie is ... ... ... ... I know and ...” “I know—ah know, Rarity! Ah didn’t mean it like that! I meant...” ...it went on like that for some time. Apple Bloom still wasn’t sure if Sweetie was or wasn’t cursed after that. Applejack seemed satisfied though, and didn’t say anything about it, so Apple Bloom had to guess Sweetie was probably fine. And by extension, Scootaloo would be fine too. It’d been even harder to get in touch with Scootaloo, but one of Applejack’s friends had the number to the library memorized, and calling the library and asking for Cheerilee got a swift if unsatisfying answer. “She’s out?” Applejack asked in aggravation. “...” came the quiet answer. “Where would she be this time of day?” “maybe ... skate ...?” “Well track her down. And check for animal ears!” “... ears, ... ... ... joke?” “Ah ain’t joking Ms. Cheerilee. You gotta check on your daughter right now.” “... believe ...?” “Wh– this ain’t a prank!” “... call ... library before” “Wh– ah—” “(click)” “She hung up!” Applejack uttered, staring at the phone in outrage. Applejack didn’t call the library back, but she did call her other friend one more time, being tactful enough not to tell her about the three stupid kids who might have accidentally turned themselves into animals. Her friend said she’d get Ms. Cheerilee to call Applejack directly, apparantly, but there weren’t no word from the librarian before Applejack had to get going. The doctor paused long enough for Apple Bloom to hug her sister and her big brother both tenderly, before they headed off in their truck promising to come back before dinner. Granny was still with her, but Apple Bloom felt sad and lost, just listening to it pull out of the parking lot, while at the mercy of the terrible tongue depressor. “Open your mouth and say ah,” the doctor squinted over the tongue depressor, then started poking Apple Bloom’s teeth. Apple Bloom wiggled uncomfortably saying, “Ah ahh ah ah?” “I’m not sure how to ask you this,” said the doctor pulling out the tongue depressor and standing back a pace, “But could you please use your own fingers to wiggle your canines?” Apple Bloom gave him a confused look as to why. Though what he said was straightforward enough, why would he want her to do that? So, she just fiddled around with her teeth finding the pointy one and wiggling it just like she was told. “Ah fo– I do– thi– it,” she said uncertainly, when the tooth just came out in her hand. “Whaaaaaapt?” “Oh dear, this isn’t good,” the doctor said with an actual note of concern, looking down at Apple Bloom’s canine tooth sitting there in her hand, the part that came out going all the way to the tooth’s bloody root. And she carefully checked the other one, and it was loose too! “Why are my teef fallin’ out?” she asked the doctor tearfully. “My dear child,” he said compassionately, “I am afraid you appear to be becoming an herbivore.” “H-huhf?” The doctor gave a short, distant laugh, saying, “This is the most unorthodox phenomenon, I’m sorry it’s just something I never thought I would say to a patient. I happen to have heard that herbivores have no canine teeth, which is why humans are classified as omnivores. You might have to get used to having a gap between your incisors and your molars.” “Well thath justh greath,” Apple Bloom said irritably, trying not to mess up her other loose teeth. She wasn’t succeeding very well. “Was there any pain when it came out?” the doctor asked her worriedly. Apple Bloom shook her head. He seemed relieved at that, saying, “It might be a natural part of the process. Whatever phenomenon this is you should count yourself lucky that it’s such a painless process. Not that you aren’t in a bad... place right now, but I can think of many ways it could have been so much worse.” Later on he had actually checked a dental manual to double check, because the canines weren’t the only teeth she was losing, saying, “I can’t understand why the process would impossibly alter your existing teeth, except for the canines and first bicuspids which are falling out. Are any of your other teeth wiggly at all?” Apple Bloom shook her head, “Jus thothe four pairth” she said, though there was only two pairs left now, and one tooth in her upper jaw. “Again I suppose we have to count our blessings,” he said thoughtfully. Apple Bloom was pretty sure she understood what he was getting at. There wasn’t even any blood after they came out, her gums sealing up like a charm. Now if only she could stop lisping. ... “Can you feel this?” “Yesh” “Can you feel this?” “Yesh!” “Can you feel–” “Yesh ah can feel every par’ of mah thail!” “Well, you can’t be a horse, at least,” the doctor said adjusting his glasses. “Your ehum, tailbone seems to be extending the full length of your tail, as opposed to a short tailbone with a long brush at the end of it. If not for the matter of your teeth, I’d guess a cat’s tail, but...” Apple Bloom couldn’t stop tonguing the gaps that her pulled teeth had left between the molars and the incisors. There were still no others falling out thank goodness, but it felt so weird in her mouth. “Yeahu,” she said vaguely, crossing her eyes to fiddle with her dentition. Apple Bloom was sitting in Granny’s lap at the moment, with Granny’s arms supportively hugged around her midsection. Apple Bloom actually hadn’t been able to sit with Granny like this in quite a while. “I would like to make a call,” the doctor said with a tired look in his eyes, “I’m afraid it might give you the wrong impression though. I can honestly say I mean absolutely no offense in suggesting this, and I respect and recognize you as a person in every meaningful sense of the word, and I only hope that it can help you in some fashion.” “Well spit it out then!” Granny declared above the distracted Apple Bloom. “I think it our best bet to identify what Apple Bloom’s er, animal is might be to call a very competent and capable woman I know who is a ehum, veterinarian.” “Whah?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, looking at him wide eyed and pulling her tongue out from messing with her teeth. “Ah mean whutsh? Augh, shtupid theeth!” “Put yer tongue on the roof o’ yer mouth when yer say ‘t’” Granny said to her. Apple Bloom twisted around puzzled but then tried it. “Deeth. Teeth. Teeth hay it worksh!” The doctor cleared his throat. Oh right. Veterinarian. Apple Bloom’s ears went flat again, and she couldn’t look him in the eyes, but she said as clearly as she could, “Yesh thatsh fahn,” in a somber voice that matched with her opinion on that sort of thing. Granny was a huge help getting Apple Bloom to speak raht—ah mean—right again. Once Granny said, “Push yer tongue out more when yer say ‘s’ so’s it don’t whistle so much,” it was so much easier to say it. “Ssh. Ss. Eth. Ess. Wow, how did you know, Granny?” Apple Bloom exclaimed in surprise. Granny smiled all crinkly and said, “Ah got a lot of experience with losin’ teeth Apple Bloom!” “Oh, yeah,” Apple Bloom smiled guiltily, blushed and hunched her shoulders. “Ah forgot abouth that. Th-thanks Granny... ah mean, for everything.” “That’s might kind o’ yer Apple Bloom,” Granny said with a smile in return, “Ah ‘preciate it.” The good Doctor Stable exhausted his options eventually. There just wasn’t anything wrong with Apple Bloom aside from her changing into an animal. She was healthy as a—a healthy person. All he really could do for her was tell her what he’s found so far, in the vain hope that it might somehow help her predicament. He sat Granny and Apple Bloom down to talk with them, and Apple Bloom felt so tiny in that chair next to Granny. The doc had said it’d only been like 8 inches of height lost, mostly from her arms and legs which were supposedly shrinking faster than her torso and head, but it was a huge difference. It wasn’t so much her tail getting longer anymore at all, as her body getting shorter to match it! What was even worse, Apple Bloom had to give up her clothes for lost. She lost her shoes first, which made her even shorter of course, and took away her heel support. Not that she was having trouble standing on her toes. She was having the very opposite, really! But Apple Bloom was just getting too small for all her clothes to stay on comfortably, if at all. So she lost her pants, lost her shoes, and basically was having to walk around barefoot—bare toed with a muddy green hospital gown. She hardly felt like herself anymore, like she was just a little kid again. The ironic thing is because the gown fastened together from behind it was easy to get her tail out from underneath it through the gap back there. “While we’re waiting for the v– for my friend,” the doctor said having seated them down, “I would like to tell you what I’ve managed to observe so far,” He started pacing in front of them waving a hand in the air as he spoke. “Young Apple Bloom here has a fully functioning tail and motile ears as you’ve no doubt observed,” he said, “Her temperature is above normal, which is probably normal but without knowing the exact nature of her transformation I can’t say for sure. Her blood tests are normal, which doesn’t help much in this situation. I don’t have facilities for blood work, would have to send it to a place in the city for that to be done. But what I could tell was her red cell count is normal. Platelet count, normal. Cholesterol levels, low. You’re a very healthy girl, Apple Bloom. “The exact process by which your tissues are changing in size proportionally is unknown,” he continued, “But your bone structure seems to be adjusting along with musculature, tendons and, well... it all seems rather magical to me that it’s proceeding so safely. You already know your hearing is exceptional, and I can confirm that your ear canals appear to be both functional and complete, with no damage to the skull apparant in their... movement to the top of your head. “You have a good deal more vertebrae now, that is segments of your spinal cord. Sensible really, considering your er, tail. Animals with tails have more vertebrae than humans, I would assume. Your dentition is decidedly herbivorous, with your molars and incisors somehow adjusting in place, despite the fact that teeth simply do not grow, while your first bicuspids and canines fell out entirely. I can’t say much about your digestive system, but I would recommend great care in what you eat from now on. I doubt it will be as simple as eating seeds or... whatever you’re adapted for.” Doctor Stable sighed then, and crouched down to look Apple Bloom in the eye, “I know you weren’t expecting any good news,” he told her, “I’ve done all I can to measure and document the process so that any opportunity we have to fix things won’t be lost. It’s entirely possible that this... process will reverse itself as mysteriously as it came. There’s really no conclusions that can be drawn from what can only be described as, well, magic. So that’s my final advice to you, little girl. Never draw any conclusions about what is happening to you that you cannot deduce through hard evidence, not even that you will transform completely, or that you won’t wake up tomorrow and it’ll all just be a bad dream. This... transformation is beyond that which anyone can draw conclusions from. That means just about anything, and I mean anything, is possible.” “Hello,” came a new voice in a melodious alto, a goldenrod lady with another set of blue white hair tied up in a ponytail poking her head around the corner. “So I heard you need a vet?” “Dr. Cureall, it’s good to see you so promptly,” Doctor Stable said ironically, straightening up from where he was addressing Apple Bloom and facing the new entry. “Oh don’t be so formal,” she said, “You can call me Jane you know that. You said you had an animal you needed looked at?” She waltzed in, looking a bit uncertain at the somber atmosphere of Granny and Apple Bloom sitting there. Doctor Stable cleared his throat and said, “Yes um, I said that to be discreet, but in reality what I need your help with is a lot... stranger. A lot stranger.” He smiled nervously showing a hesitance he hadn’t until just now. “You’re startin’ to scare me doc,” Dr. Cureall said, laughing nervously, putting her hands on her hips and looking at him with a wry testing smile. “An animal is hurt? Someone got themselves bit? Spit it out already!” “I need you to identify the animal my patient is transforming into,” he said hastily. He added a chuckle. She didn’t respond. “I’m serious,” he said with a frown. “Ha!” she barked loudly, “That’s a good one! You didn’t call me all the way over here to make a joke did you? I never played you for a prankster, doctor Doc.” “It ain’t a prank,” Apple Bloom piped up behind her. “Girl,” Dr. Cureall said, turning to look down at Apple Bloom, “I don’t know what he told you, but that’s just the silliest thing I ever,” The vet stopped speaking abruptly, and just blinked at Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom’s ear twitched. Dr. Cureall’s eyes rolled up in her head, and she would have crumpled to the floor if Doctor Stable wasn’t immediately there holding her up with his arms under her shoulders. He lowered her to the floor with a grunt, then stood up adjusting his glasses, saying with a sigh, “I’ll go fetch the smelling salts.” He came back in short order. “Here, wave this under her nose,” he said handing Apple Bloom a tiny foul smelling bottle. “Why me?” she asked nervously. “I want her to see you when she wakes up,” the doctor said flatly, “All this pussyfooting around is becoming rather tiresome.” Apple Bloom frowned, but did as she was told, and the lady in question sneezed violently then started to come to. Apple Bloom wasn’t sure if the doctor lady was all the way awake, because she didn’t say anything, just kept staring forward blankly. “Are you OK?” Apple Bloom asked at last. “Oh jezus it talks!” Dr. Cureall yelped, scrambling back against the counter she was propped up against. Some pussyfooting later, they managed to calm Dr. Cureall down and get her standing again. She warmed up to what had happened relatively quickly, and was starting to barrage Apple Bloom with questions, so Apple Bloom just decided to answer them all for her at once so she wouldn’t ask her those uncomfortable questions, like ripping off a bandaid. “Yes it’s real. Yesh ah have a tail. Yes ah can feel it. Yes thoshe are mah ears, and they work fine. No I wasn’t like this thish mornin’. No I don’t know why. It all thstarted with a dream. Ah’m supposed to be taller. An’ no ah don’t know whath I’m changin’ into, so can you pleasetell me what ah am?” Dr. Cureall gave her an uncertain look and asked, “Are you a fairy?” “Whu?” “Are you an alien...?” the vet tried again, looking around for confirmation with an awkward grin. “No ah’m justh a girl!” Apple Bloom said with her fists balled at her sides. “Ah meant what animal am ah thurnin’ into?” The vet still looked at Apple Bloom uncomprehendingly. Apple Bloom didn’t know how to deal with this lady, it was frustrating! Doctor Stable thankfully cleared his throat then, and attracted attention to himself, saying to Dr. Cureall, “Apple Bloom here is, or was an ordinary girl in her Freshman year attending the local high school. As of this afternoon due to some sort of supernatural phenomenon experienced two nights ago, she has been spontaneously adopting the morphological characteristics of an unknown animal. The process is unknown, the cause is unknown, and the most I have been able to accomplish is merely to document the phenomenon. While we aren’t giving up on finding some explanation or cause for this and potentially restoring her normal life, we would nevertheless be grateful if you could use your extensive study of non-human animals, to identify just what little Apple Bloom here has to expect.” “This girl’s in high school?” Dr. Cureall said in a bewildered tone, kneeling down to Apple Bloom’s ...current height. “She doesn’t look like she should be out of elementary school!” “Yes, she’s been getting ...progressively smaller,” Doctor Stable said, crossing his arms and hmming, “Actually it’s probably a good time to measure your height and weight a second time, Apple Bloom, to estimate the rate of change.” The doctor, the vet, and Granny followed Apple Bloom along to the scale. There were other staff at this clinic but they mostly kept their distance, giving Apple Bloom these awful fearful looks whenever she caught their eye. Not that she could catch anyone’s eye much anymore, with how tall the counters and desks were now. She was so short it was terrible! Apple Bloom hadn’t been this short since well, in like forever! It was like some sort of sick joke, after how hard she tried to grow up big and tall and finally getting past Sweetie Belle’s height she’d at least been the tallest of the Cutie Major Crusaders. Now she bet those two could both see the top of her head without even going on tiptoes. The animal-eared top of her head. “It’s not just the height,” Dr. Cureall insisted, “She’s just so... I mean, adorable! No offense. It’s just... that round face and– and those eyes!” “It does appear that Apple Bloom is gaining some body fat,” Doctor Stable grudgingly agreed, “I suppose it could be seen as ‘baby’ fat as it were. It certainly would make about as much sense as anything else has today! But regardless, Apple Bloom if you please, I need you to step up onto the scale here.” Testing her weight was relatively straightforward, and Apple Bloom stood up as straight as she could while he tested her height. Not that Apple Bloom was cheating or anything but she, she just didn’t want to get him inaccurate results or something. Not like she could have cheated anyways. She wondered if maybe they could use the tops of her ears instead of her head, just for another inch or two. “I know you’re upset, but I need you to not skew the results please,” the doctor told her idly moving the top of the height measurer flatly onto her head. “No standing on your toes.” “Huh?” Apple Bloom said uncomprehendingly for a moment, then she remembered she was standing on her toes this whole time. “Oh, uh, sorry,” she said. It was weirdly difficult putting her heels down. Not like a huge strain or anything, but it felt weird to sit on her feet, like they were the back of her legs or something. “And straighten your knees,” the doctor added with a frown. Apple Bloom looked down and, dangit why did her legs feel so weird? She finally got her legs straight, with her heels planted on the bottom of the scale, but it felt so contorted and the angles were all off. “Thank you,” Doc Stable said in an even tone. “I’m glad we did this when we did. Now what I need you to do is sit down on the scale, with your back to the height rod.” As if her day couldn’t get weirder. Apple Bloom’d never had a doctor’s visit measure her height like that. “Y-you sure?” she said in a rising tone of confusion. “I’ll explain shortly,” he said, “Please, if you wouldn’t mind.” Apple Bloom did as she was told, and with her tail pushing the hospital gown backwards there was just no way to do anything but put her naked butt on the scale platform. Then he didn’t measure from the top of her head, but laid it down on her shoulder! It was probably the weirdest height measuring she’d ever gotten, though his reasoning would prove quite sound, for a man whose entire world view has been shattered in a single office visit. He made some calculations on paper and punched numbers into a calculator before explaining himself. “You’ve stated for the record that you are supposed to be 4 feet, 9 inches. When I measured you initially, you were 3 feet 11 inches tall, and your second measurement... standing was 2 inches shorter. That means you are losing roughly one inch per hour, and assuming that is happening at a steady rate I can estimate when you first started to transform.” Apple Bloom’s eyes widened at that. “Wow!” she said, “That would be leally–really helpful! Maybe it was that dream the night before lasth!” The doctor smiled fixedly, and said, “Well, unfortunately it isn’t that simple. By my calculations, your height started to decrease some time around 6 this morning.” Apple Bloom wilted a little bit. “Oh, that doesn’t really helpf at all.” She brightened again though, and said, “Though ah did wake up around 6, so maybe it started when ah woke up?” “Did anything unusual happen to you then?” the doctor asked hopefully. Apple Bloom had to shake her head though. “Only unusual thing was the dream, an’ thath wasn’t lasth night.” “Delayed effect?” he suggested, with a lopsided grin. “As long as we’re shooting for the moon, might as well assume that.” “So why did you have me sit down?” Apple Bloom asked humorlessly, “You shaid you were gonna esplain!” The doctor got a bit nervous at that, and adjusted his glasses, saying, “Eum, well the reason is so that I can continue measuring your height. Your legs are... changing in ways that don’t facilitate you... standing up on them bipedally, so I needed a baseline from your torso to your head, which I hope at least will remain morphologically consistent.” “Mah legs...” Apple Bloom looked down at the nondescript hospital gown concealing her lower body from herself. It didn’t feel weird to stand on her toes, and it really should feel weird, and in fact it should be hurting to do that for this long. Everyone seemed to be paying attention to her as she pulled up the gown to look at her legs. As soon as she did she dropped it. “T-that cain’t be good,” she said in a bit of shock. Her toes were holding her up because they– they looked really really weird. She didn’t want to look at them anymore. With the fiasco of measuring her height over, Apple Bloom was free to be stared at uncomfortably by Dr. Cureall. “Hmm,” the veterinarian lady said, lifting up Apple Bloom’s arm, looking at her hand. “Hmm,” she repeated looking at her feet. “You mind if I...?” she said with hesitance, hovering over where Apple Bloom’s tail was sticking out through the part in the back of the hospital gown. “Yeah ah guessh,” Apple Bloom said moodily. It didn’t feel bad when the doctor scrunched her fingers into the thick red locks of that tail, but it was still a source of shame for Apple Bloom. Something she just wanted to get rid of, but at the same time somehow the thought of getting rid of it scared her. She couldn’t just chop it off, it was her— but no, it wasn’t her tail! It was just some tail that started appearing there! But she sort of felt like it was her tail. It was... weird. “And how about your ears?” Dr. Cureall said in an excited if brash voice. Apple Bloom’s ears immediately went flat at the thought of the doctor messing with them. She forced herself to relax though, and tried to imagine what it was like when they straightened out, and that sort of worked at least to get them straightening up and available. “Y-yeah,” Apple Bloom said unconfidently, “No problem!” Light touches made them flick, but then the doctor grabbed one firmly in her thumb and index finger, yet somehow not painfully. “Woah,” Apple Bloom said dizzily as the weird muscle thing up there kept trying to flick while being held still. “That feels weird.” The vet let her go without addressing that statement, which Apple Bloom was pretty fine with as long as it didn’t mean any more manhandling of her ears. Those things were sensitive! The vet had to look under her gown, though. Apple Bloom couldn’t bear to look, herself. To Dr. Cureall’s credit, she didn’t so much as flinch at whatever she saw down there. No, she remained real professional about it, and made sure to ask permission before poking Apple Bloom in the tummy with a tentative finger. The doctor stepped back with her hands on her hips and let Apple Bloom gratefully drop the gown back over her body. Apple Bloom was small enough that it pretty much covered her head to toe by now. Finally Doctor Stable pointed Dr. Cureall to Apple Bloom’s mouth, where the veterinarian seemed to find the new gaps in between Apple Bloom’s teeth to be absolutely fascinating. “Well,” Dr. Cureall said at last, “I can confidently say that I have no idea what you’re turning into.” Apple Bloom’s ears went flat again. “Oh come on!” she protested, “Cain’t ah at leasth know that hwhile ah still can know?” Dr. Cureall shook her head slowly, saying, “You got the ears of a horse, the tail of a cat, and I don’t even know about the mottling but some kind of holstein cow maybe? Your feet are um... unfinished so I can’t even say even or odd toed but I would assume some kind of ungulate. That and your dentition, but without knowing how it’s going to end up if your face stretches out it, could be anything from a deer to an giraffe! You’re all over the map as far as animals go!” “Ohhh,” Apple Bloom whined looking down, then something occured to her. She looked back up at the vet again saying, “Wait, hwhat do you mean by mottling?” “Well, um...” Dr. Cureall ran her tongue across her upper teeth saying, “J-just take a look at your chest. I suppose that’s something... new?” With dread Apple Bloom pulled back the neck of the hospital gown and looked at the upper portion of her naked body underneath. What was once an even, healthy shade of lemon yellow was now broad and uneven blotches of yellow and a pale pink. “Wh-uh?” Apple Bloom said dumbly dropping her hospital gown and looking at her arms, and now that she looked they were also covered in that patchy pattern. “A-ah don’t... what’s wrong with me?!” Her arms were shaking and she couldn’t stop them from shaking. “Why is this happening?” she said staring down at her arms. “Why me?” she shouted, stomping furiously on the ground, staring at the vet and shouting “Why me?!” one more time, in a voice that just couldn’t stay steady, just as shaky as her hands. “G-g-granny...” Apple Bloom said in a quiet whimper. “Ah-ah need you to–” “Ah’m so sorry Apple Bloom,” Granny Smith said emotionally, her broad pudgy arms wrapping around Apple Bloom. “You shouldn’t have to go through this.” Apple Bloom was so very tiny now. It was just a little bit, the doctor said, but she felt like a doll in her granny’s embrace. Something broke in Apple Bloom and she just choked back a sob. She just, she just stood there quietly, leaning into her grandmother’s tender embrace, feeling like she was going to fall over like a leaf if Granny let up on it one bit. They stayed there like that for a timeless moment, until the vet who was kneeling down now in front of Apple Bloom said, “Can I see your arm again? I want to double check something.” Numbly Apple Bloom held her weird splotchy probably diseased arm out, and the nurse took Apple Bloom’s entirely too tiny hand to steady her arm, and traced a finger across the colored part—woah. “Th’ hay?” Apple Bloom exclaimed forgetting her distress, as the vet’s finger rubbed up against the grain. “What are you doin’? That feels all catchy and uh...” “Well, I know why you’re mottled at least,” the vet said, pointing at a yellow patch, then a pink splotch then another yellow patch. “This first part here is your skin, well, your old skin at least. It’s turning pink as your natural skin color recedes from it. It might not be well known, but every human being is pink without their chromanin pigments, and generally animals don’t have any pigment at all in their skin. Which is this second part here, where you’re pink and your skin is becoming softer and thicker. And this third part is actually turning yellow again because your pigment didn’t actually go away. It just... well, the reason animals don’t need pigment in their skin is because they don’t get sunburned due to a protective coat of... um... fur.” “Fur,” Apple Bloom said unamusedly. “I’m sorry,” Dr. Cureall said, “I wish I could put it any other—” “No, no it’s okay,” Apple Bloom interrupted, sitting down against Granny’s legs. “Fur is better than bein’ all splotchy.” She laughed nervously looking at her arms again, “T-that’s why we called you right?” she said her voice unsteady and rising in pitch, “Nothin’ we didn’t expect. Because you’re a v-vet an’ ah’m just an a-a-animal. A-and... a-annd...” and she couldn’t continue. “Oh Apple Bloom,” said Granny touseling her hair and probably putting her bow in disarray. Apple Bloom appreciated it. “Ah cain’t even imagine what yer– what yer goin’ through right now, but you’re safe with us ah promise ya. You don’t need to think that we’ll treat ye any less than family, not if you’re a girl or a gopher.” “Ain’t what I’m worried abouth,” Apple Bloom mumbled under her breath. “Hur?” Granny asked tilting a round ear downward. “Ah said it’d be awfully silly if ah was a gopher,” Apple Bloom said in a joking tone, though it always came out sounding like she was annoyed when she did that. “With this big old long thail sticking outta mah gopher butth!” “Heh heh heh!” Granny laughed, “That’s mah Apple Bloom, alright.” The veterinarian frowned in consternation and said, “I think I might have a guess as to what you’re turning into, if you feel up to hearing it, my guess that is, not the absolute truth.” Apple Bloom started to immediately say yes, but then fear flared in her, and she didn’t want to feel like she had felt before. The more she learned it seemed, the scareder she got. But it was just eating her up inside not knowing anything about what was going to happen to her next. “Alright,” she said grudgingly, “Gimme your bes’ shot. Ah can take it.” “Your ears are the best clue,” the vet started to say, “There aren’t many animals that have ears like a horse. Deer are broad and flat, goats are very round tipped like olive leaves, cows have a kite shape to them, and cats are sparsely furred and thin, and often have a distinctive split along the side. Wolf ears have long tufts on the inside, as do foxes, and we’ve long since ruled out carnivores at any rate. If your toes continue to... to degenerate, then you should end up with a single er, toe, thus odd toed ungulate, which narrows things down to horses, zebras and uh, tapirs. I’m just not going to entertain that last one because they have four toes, despite their relatives. You certainly can’t be a cow, as you have only two nipples still. Not many animals outside of humans and horses have two nipples in fact.” “H-horse, huh,” Apple Bloom said detachedly. Her eyes widened then and she said, “Wait, you looked at mah nipples?!” Dr. Cureall rolled her eyes, “Yes I examined you. It’s alright I promise I didn’t do anything embarassing. Why else do you think I was poking your belly earlier?” Apple Bloom blinked at the unrelated question, “Uh, I don’t... know?” “I was only confirming the presence, and number,” Cureall huffed irritatedly, “...of your nipples. Sorry if that offended you.” “You weren’t touchin mah chest at all though!” Apple Bloom protested. That made Dr. Cureall blush fiercely, suddenly stumbling on her words as she said, “W-well that is to say I’m sorry but you might not uh know this but uh, humans are kind of... unique among other animals. We evolved–we evolved from a separate ancestor than all carnivores, herbivores, ungulates, rodents or, or anything really. Primates are all on their own on the evolutionary tree, with no common ancestor until almost the very earliest mammals.” She cleared her throat, “Sorry, I’m stalling here. What I mean to say is, if you look at monkeys, apes, gorillas, chimpanzees, and, humans, you’ll see they have two nipples on their chest. And... nothing else does.” The vet folded her hands a few times before adding, “You don’t.” It still took Apple Bloom a few seconds of grinding gears in her spinning head, but then her face fell and her eyes widened, and she jerked one of her hands into the sleeve feeling at her chest. It was just a chest. Just a chest. She felt down around her belly and... “Well... that’h just freaky,” Apple Bloom concluded wide-eyed. “A-ah didn’t even notishe. But they’re... supposhed to be down there?” The vet nodded. “Y’sure?” The vet nodded again uneasily. Apple Bloom just stuck her arm out of the gown’s sleeve again, and crossed them over each other, grumbling petulantly, “Well, it ain’t nearly as freaky as growin’ fur.”