//------------------------------// // A Familiar Face // Story: Room for Rent: A Very Pinkie Christmas // by Drax99 //------------------------------// My sleep was again interrupted by someone in my bed. This time I was not nearly as shocked, although I was still rather pissed as I felt a weight shift next to me. Rolling my eyes, I rolled over and peered into the smiling pink face and blue eyes of my housemate, and groaned in irritation. “Dammit Pinkie, I’m trying to sleep. I had the craziest dream that I met your grandmother or something, and she showed me why I was pissed at Christmas. It was like some cheesy-ass christmas carol ripoff.” Rubbing my eyes, I waited for a response, and only got a giggle. I opened my eyes to see Pinkie with her chin on her hooves, looking at me with her usual smile. “What’s so funny? And what the hell are you doing in my bed, again. It’s...” I rolled over to look at the clock. “Two in the friggin morning. There is no way in hell I’m opening gifts or anything else yet. I don't even plan on waking up until noon.” I sighed, and plopped my head down on my pillow, trying to ignore the annoying pink pest in my room. “Go back to bed, Pinkie.” Yawning hugely, I closed my eyes. “I’m not Pinkie, silly. My name is Diane, and I’m the ghost of Pinkie’s Present! In fact, that makes me Pinkie’s Present to you!” My eyes shot open as the words sank in. “Oh, fuck that noise. I can tell it’s you Pinkie, now get the fuck outta my room before I drag you out.” I tried my best to snuggle deeper into my blankets, but to no avail. “Silly Louie, it’s my turn to help you, and that means you gotta get up! Up up up!” Bouncing on the bed, she managed to dislodge me from my blanket cocoon. “Fuck. You aren't gonna let this go, are you?” “I grumbled, wondering if my taser was charged. Maybe I could use the paintball gun again. “I only got a little bit of time tonight, Louie, and we have places to be. So up and at em!” Yanking the blankets, the pink menace sent me flying off the bed to land in a heap upon the floor. “Oh, fuck that. I’m gonna kick your furry pink ass.” I clambered to my feet, and then launched myself at my target. Unfortunately I met only air as I seemed to pass through her and land painfully on the floor next to the bed. “C’mon, Louie! Stop messing around! Let’ get going before it’s too late.” Hopping off the bed, she reached out a hoof to help me up. I rubbed my bruises and looked at my antagonist. I realized that I could almost see through her, as if she were some crappy CGI prop from a movie. “What the fuck are you? You’re Pinkie... but you’re a ghost?” Suddenly my heart sank, and I remembered what the doctor had told me about certain tendencies. “Oh god, Pinkie! What did you do?” Sighing heavily, the ghost pony rolled her eyes. “I told you, Louie. I’m not Pinkie. My name is Diane, and I am the ghost of Pinkie’s Present. Or is it Pinkies Present? Wait, maybe it’s a present from Pinkie?” Muttering to herself, she trailed off. I ignored her, and dashed for the door, and into the hallway. The next moment I was in Pinkie’s room, expecting to see something horrifically tragic. Instead I saw Pinkie peacefully snoring in her bed, as the twinkling lights from the nearby tree played across her serene features and lit the room in a dim riot of color. “I don’t get it. If she’s sleeping, then who is in my room?” I stepped closer, and tried to shake the pony awake, only for my hand to pass through her without resistance. “I keep telling you,” Softly, the reply to my question came from behind me, and I turned to see the doppelganger in front of the still closed door. “That is Pinkie, and I am Diane. I’m a ghost.” “But how?” I pleaded. “Let’s just say, there were once more of us, but now we are gone. I only have a short time to return, and then I must go away again.” A sad smile crossed her face, and she looked up at me with liquid eyes full of repressed pain. “So, will you come with me while I can still be of help?” The sad look on the ghostly pony’s face was painful to look at, and I finally relented. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” “Yippee! You are gonna love this.” With a bounce, she lept forward and grabbed my hand with her hoof. Did I ever mention how weird it feels to have your hand gripped by a hoof? It’s creepy. With a slight tug, I was pulled forward, and I stumbled, trying to regain my balance. As I stood up, I saw that the room had changed to a lawn. The grass felt like spongy carpet under my feet, and there were palm trees in the yard.  Turning around, I was unsurprised to see my parent’s house, as the sun rose behind me on a beautiful Florida morning. A lizard scampered up a nearby wall, cocking his head to look at me, and a line of fire ants marched before my feet, building their low grey fortress on the lawn. “It had to be my parents. Really, Pinkie?” “Diane!” She returned. “Whatever. Lets do this.” I straightened my pajama shirt and pulled my pants up a bit. With another tug, we were inside, and all the christmas-y splendor surrounded me. My mom always did go overboard, with everything decorated in green and red, while garlands and lights were in every corner courtesy of my dad. And as if on cue, they came walking into the room. My dad had on a classic Hugh Hefner robe, while my mom wore... “Oh for fuck sakes, mom! Put some damn clothes on!” I averted my eyes from the christmas themed bunny outfit she was wearing, fishnets, heels and ears. I felt my face burning as my parents started to kiss and make out in front of the tree, and I started to feel a little ill. “Oh wow, lookit them go! It’s like softcore porno, without the cheesy music.” Diane was practically panting, as she stared wide eyed at my parents. I managed to grab her by the tail and drag her from the room so that they could have a bit of privacy, and I could keep my lunch. “Really, did I have to see that?” I stalked over to the sink and tried to turn it on for a drink of water. Sadly, my hands just passed through the knobs, and I sighed in frustration. “I think it’s sweet that they can still be affectionate at their age. Besides, your mom is still pretty hot, for her age.” Wagging her eyebrows, the pink poltergeist grinned at me. “Not. Helping.”  I growled. I stopped as I heard raised voices coming from the other room, and jogged in. “I know honey, but you know how he is.” My father pleaded. “I jus wan mah baby fo Christmas! Is dat too much ta ask?” My mother looked distraught as my dad tried to calm her. “We invite his ass every year, and every year he blows us off.” Running his hand through his hair, my dad let out an exasperated breath. “This year I didn't bother. Let him be a damn Scrooge. Mebbe if we are lucky that little pony of his will talk some sense into him.” “Ya really tink so? She’s such a sweet ting. Iffen she can, den mebbe we get our little child back for da holidays. We kin be a family agin.” My mom reached out and hugged my dad fiercely. “See Louie? Christmas isn't just about religion, or shopping. It’s about family, and love, and being together. You can believe whatever you want, and still celebrate.” She hugged my leg, as I stared stiffly at my parents having a tender moment. A part of my heart began to melt, and wanted to join them in the family hug. ”On the other hand, we can always make another kid!” And just as quickly, the moment was over as my dad goosed my mom, and began chasing her around the room lustily, as she giggled like a school girl. “And we are outta here.” I turned to see the fake Pinkie with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. “Aww c’mon, this may get interesting!” She grinned, shoveling popcorn in her mouth. “We are leaving. Now.” I growled. “Oh, alright.” As she stood up, the popcorn vanished. “Lets get to the next one.” And as she tugged on my hand, I stumbled again, ending up back at my house. “So are we done for the night? That wasn't much of a ride.” I shrugged, heading to the door. “Not quite. There is still more. Your parents aren't the only ones hurt by how you are acting.” Coming up behind me, Diane leaned against my leg. With a bump, I stumbled again, and we were inside. I sighed sadly as I saw Pinkie decorating the tree, happily bouncing around and humming as she put the finishing touches on it. Suddenly, the music that was playing on the radio changed, and I heard an old familiar song. Pinkie reared back on her hind legs, grabbing an icicle shaped ornament and began to dance upright as she sang into the improvised microphone. Louie is a friend, Yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine But lately something's changed It ain't hard to define Louie's needs himself a girl And I want to make him mine And I’m lovin’ him with my eyes And I’m lovin' him when that body sweats! And I’m dreaming of being in his arms, late at night You know I wish that I was Louie's girl I wish that I was Louie's girl Where can I find a stallion like that? Suddenly, the music stopped with a click as Pinkie turned the radio off. She seemed to deflate as she sank first to all four hooves, and then to the floor. “Dammit Louis.” She muttered. “Wow, she really has it for you bad.” Diane whispered in an awestruck tone. “Yeah. I don't get it. I’ve been nothing but an asshole to her, I keep telling her I am not interested in ponies, and yet she never gives up.” I managed to plop onto the couch without falling through it somehow. “Well maybe just be nicer to her, and let her know she’s a friend.”  Shrugging, the other pink mare sat next to me. “At least for the holiday. be a little nicer.” “I’ve tried being nice, I’ve tried being mean, I even tried to get her deported once. She just won't give it up. Besides, what does this have to do with Christmas?” I turned to my paranormal pest. “Well let me put it this way. There is a magic this time of year, when the barriers between the worlds grow thinner. Sometimes, when a pony, or person, wishes for something strong enough, somepony listens. And sometimes, somepony answers.” Turning away from me, she looked at her sad pink doppelganger now shuffling around the tree, cleaning up the fallen tinsel. “You want to know what she wished for?” Now sounding more sober than the real Pinkie ever got, she continued to stare ahead into the distance. “I just heard the song. She wishes she could be my girlfriend. I’m sorry, but that's just not gonna happen.” I sighed, and looked away myself. “No Louie. She just wished that you could be happy for Christmas. Nothing for herself, not even her heart’s desire. She just asked that you would be happy.” I felt her get up, and turned to look, but found the couch and space before it empty. “Come on, we have one last stop to make.” I jumped as her voice came from the opposite side of me. Without a word, I reached out, and my hand was tugged by her hoof. Again the world lurched, and then we were in the middle of a rock field. I looked around me, but in every direction, all I could see were rocks and dirt, with the occasional desolate dead tree. Off in the distance I saw hills and mountains, all grey stone and lichen, with only the topmost peaks showing white as a change of color. The fields were grey, the clouds were lighter grey, and even the bit of sunlight that managed to make it through was dull and lifeless, illuminating only more shades of grey. Turning around, I saw what appeared to be a small shack at the edge of the rocky field. Of my pink companion, there was no sign. With no better idea, I shrugged and started walking towards the shack. After what seemed like a hour, the shack finally seemed to be within my reach. It was deceptively larger than it first appeared, being a two story affair of greyed timber. Dusty windows gave no indication of what was inside, and only a grey wooden rocking chair gave any character to the otherwise ramshackle abode. It looked like a black and white photo of an old frontier house. I even noticed an old grey dog on the porch, who raised his head at my approach for a moment, before seeming to lose interest and going back to sleep. Ignoring the animal just as much as he ignored me, I stepped to the door. A dingy white door was fronted by an old greyish screen door. As before, when I reached for it, I found myself inside. Surprisingly, the inside was tidy and clean, with a meticulous attention to detail in the arrangement of furnishing. Warmer colors lived here, as orange, brown and cream welcomed and soothed the soul, while decorations of green, turquoise and amethyst were arranged with loving care. Whoever lived here has a fondness for rocks and crystals, with many of the normal bric-a-brac being crafted from semi precious stones. I had a strong suspicion as to who lived here. I was soon proven right as I heard a soft murmuring from the next room. I followed the sound to a brightly colored kitchen where three ponies stood around a table covered in a brilliant red tablecloth. One I immediately recognized as Pinkie’s sister, Maud, and the other two shared a strong resemblance, being colored shades of grey, with the same straight hair and tails. Unlike their violet haired sister, they wore happy smiles, although I now knew Maud’s enigmatic smirk for the warm smile it actually was. “So why isn't Pinkie coming, Maud?” the lighter grey mare asked. “She says she wants to spend some human holiday with her special somepony. Something called Christmas.” Slowly Maud drawled. “It’s kinda like Hearth’s Warming.” “But she never missed our birthday before. Never ever.” The darker grey mare responded. I realized that they were nearly identical twins, with their dark and light grey colors reversed. One had a dark mane and light coat, and the other the opposite. Maud seemed to be the odd one out with the purple hair, and a much deeper voice. The twins definitely had Pinkie’s high toned vocal range. “I’m sorry Marble, Limestone. She says he is very sad, and wants to try to cheer him up. Something about him hating the holidays.” Shrugging, Maud turned to get the cake and bring it to the counter. The twins shared a troubled look, and sighed in simultaneous disappointment. “It’s just not the same without Pinkie.” The lighter one groaned. “See. Even ponies you don't know are hurt by the way you are at Christmas.” I jumped as I heard Diane behind me. “Shit! You scared me!” I yelled, turning to face her. “Where the hell have you been?” “I’m sorry, but my time is almost up, and my link to this world grows weak. Soon I must return to the mirror.” Shrugging, she gave me a sad look, and then looked past me to where the other ponies were glumly eating a bright pink iced cake. “Mirror? What the fuck are you talking about?” I looked back at the ponies eating. Turning back, I noticed that I could now see through the pink pony, as if she were fog. “It’s not important. Just remember, what you do affects more than you and the ones you love. It effects the ones they love. We are all connected, even those of us that have no true life.” Slowly she turned and walked to the front door. I quickly ran to follow, but as I reached for the door, there was another lurch, and I was again in the middle of a field of rocks. Only this time, there was no house, there were no trees. There was no sun, and there were no mountains. There was only the unending field of stone and dust, and for the first time in my life, I knew that I was totally alone.