//------------------------------// // Chapter Eleven // Story: To Be A Princess // by WellKPony //------------------------------// Chapter Eleven Fluttershy’s words evaporated into thin air almost as soon as she had spoken them, yet they continued to echo around inside Twilight’s head for what felt like an eternity. The opportunity for her to take the lead in this conversation had come and gone. She had had no idea what she had been going to say, but she almost certainly would not have lead with, ‘can we talk?’ There was something inexplicably menacing about those words. Twilight’s throat tightened as she stared into those sad teal eyes. Princess or not, she felt completely powerless. There was nothing she could do or say which would change what was about to happen. Her heart thundered against her ribs. It was all she could do to retain her composure and stop herself from running away. She felt more frightened about what Fluttershy might say than she had about her coronation. At last, she bit her lip and nodded slowly, hoping for the best but fearing the worst. Fluttershy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The folds in her beautiful green dress shivered. She was visibly shaking and yet still she looked more confident than Twilight felt – an incredible feat given her usually shy and reserved nature. Nothing else moved save for the gentle lapping of the water on the bank of the pond. It was as though the whole world had paused to see hear what she had to say. “It’s about last night,” Fluttershy said quickly, her words running together in her haste to get rid of them. She looked away from Twilight the moment she had finished speaking. It was testament to the sheer level of tension in the air that Twilight almost laughed when she heard those words. Of course it was about last night. What else could it have been about? What else could have created this amount pressure in a conversation between two such close friends? It was almost too obvious to require saying. “I thought maybe you’d want to talk about that,” Twilight said, not quite whispering, but very close. Under any other circumstances her words would have been inaudible, but the silence of the evening amplified them such that she felt as though she had shouted. Fluttershy walked towards the edge of the pond, refusing to look at Twilight as she passed. Her ears were pressed firmly against the sides of her head and she flicked her mane so that it fell over her face. When she had reached the bank, she stopped and stared at her reflection in the water. Twilight stood up and walked slowly over to join her. “I’m sorry,” the pegasus said very firmly. “I shouldn’t have done that. It was so stupid of me. I don’t even know what I was thinking.” Twilight’s heart, which had been doing its very best to escape her chest, suddenly stopped. This was probably what she had been expecting, but that made it no less painful. She had to say something. She had to stop this from happening. Unsure of what prompted her to do this, she reached out a wing and wrapped it around Fluttershy’s shoulders. “Why are you sorry?” she asked, a slight quiver in her voice as she tried to stop herself from succumbing to tears. Fluttershy continued to stare at her reflection in the pond. She didn’t say a word. She didn’t mention Twilight’s wing around her. She didn’t even move. Neither of them were prepared to have this conversation, it seemed. For her part, Twilight just wanted to know how Fluttershy felt about her. If her feelings had changed since the night before, she could hardly tell the pegasus that she wanted something more from her. “Fluttershy? What are you sorry for?” Twilight pressed, turning her head to look at the pegasus, a note of desperation seeping into her voice. “For kissing you.” Fluttershy shrugged her way out of Twilight’s feathery embrace, twisting around to look straight into her eyes. “I don’t really know why I thought it was a good idea. You just… you looked so pretty in that dress. I mean you look pretty without it too but you looked particularly pretty – I guess I’ve always thought you were kind of pretty. Anyway we were all alone and you looked so, so nervous and I didn’t like seeing you like that. It reminded me of how I felt the first time we met. Actually, I often feel quite nervous around you.” Twilight blinked rapidly; from no answer at all to this? It wasn’t a whole lot of information, but the suddenness of it left her struggling to keep up. Perhaps because of this, she found herself hearing the same word over and over again. Pretty. If she were to have chosen one word to describe her appearance, it certainly wouldn’t have been pretty. Presentable – if she had had the time to fix her mane. Perhaps even cute if she had one of Rarity’s dresses to draw the eye. But pretty? Definitely not. She didn’t spend nearly enough time preening herself to be considered pretty. “N-not that you scare me or anything. That didn’t come out right. I just feel nervous around you. Like if I said something silly, you’d notice. And I guess I was just so excited for your big day and I wanted you to feel as excited as I did. I didn’t even realise what I wanted to do it until I did it. I just, I don’t want this to come betwe—” Twilight raised her hoof and pressed it gently against Fluttershy’s lips. She couldn’t bear hear any more. It wasn’t making things easier. In fact, if anything it was making matters worse. On one hoof, Fluttershy was saying that she was sorry she had kissed Twilight, but on the other she was explaining why she had done it. There was no indication of what she wanted or how she felt. Twilight put her hoof back on the ground, her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to piece things together. If she made the other pony feel nervous simply by being there, that had to be a good sign, didn’t it? After all, you didn’t feel nervous around a friend unless you didn’t think of them as just a friend. And she had said she thought Twilight was pretty. Then again, this was Fluttershy. She was a very nervous pony at the best of times. Perhaps it was just a strange quirk. Twilight bit her lip. Every time she tried to make a case one way or the other, she ended up making an equally good counterpoint. After some very quick deliberation she came to the conclusion that, no matter how much she questioned and how deeply she probed, she was unlikely to achieve the level of certainty she was looking for. She had to take a chance and it was now or never. If she let this go on much longer, there would be nothing left to say. “Don't be sorry,” she said hesitantly. Fluttershy looked down at her hooves and back again. She tilted her head questioningly, her fringe falling sweetly across her face. Twilight swallowed, still unsure of herself. “I'm the one who should be sorry,” she continued. “I just didn't see it coming. If I had seen it coming, I don’t think I’d have let it happen at all.” Fluttershy stepped backwards, her eyes now fixed on the ground. It wasn’t until after she had said it that Twilight realised how that sounded. She stepped forward to keep close to the pegasus, who continued to back steadily away. “I didn’t mean that!” Twilight cried, trying to fix her mistake. “I mean, yes, I wouldn’t have let it happen. But I've thought a lot about it since then – in fact I haven't really thought about much else – and I'm still not quite sure how to say this but…” She faltered. Her thoughts were all muddled up. Even more so given how much depended upon what she said next. Fluttershy had stopped backing away. Instead, she crouched on her hind legs with her face completely hidden in her mane. Twilight’s hoof shook as she reached out and pushed her mane aside. There were tears in her eyes: tears that broke Twilight’s heart. “I’m glad you kissed me, Fluttershy.” The words erupted from her mouth like a shot from a cannon. The still air had been punctuated by her abrupt admission. The silence which followed could only have been fleeting, but waiting for the pegasus’ response made it the longest moment of Twilight’s life. She somehow felt both lighter and heavier at once. She was no longer holding anything back but that in itself was terrifying. Her body felt weak, as though her legs might give out at any moment. Her mind buzzed. Her pulse raced. Her eyes were fixed upon Fluttershy and she couldn’t have looked away if she had tried. Everything in her entire world rested upon what happened next. Fluttershy looked up at her, her eyes were open very wide indeed. Her mouth was moving, but no sound came out. This wasn’t what Twilight had expected. Her chest tightened. Fluttershy didn’t look like somepony who was happy with what she had heard. On the contrary, she looked utterly bemused. Twilight felt herself blushing. She looked around, seriously considering throwing herself into the pond. Or attempting to hide in the tree. Or simply flying off into the night. This surely had to be the most awkward situation that had ever been created anywhere in Equestria. “I don’t understand,” Fluttershy muttered. “What?” Twilight squeaked, turning back around to face the pegasus. “I… I don’t understand,” she repeated, even more quietly. Twilight watched nervously as she started picking daisies out of the grass. Her eyes looked incredibly far away. A part of Twilight wanted to ask her what it was that she didn’t understand, but another part wanted to watch her pick those daisies forever. At least then she wouldn’t have to face what was bound to come next. Would they pretend that none of this had ever happened? Would that even be possible? What would their friends think? They would probably be a more than a little surprised. It wasn’t as though this kind of thing never happened between friends, but it was bound to make things awkward. It had been a little awkward already considering that she and Fluttershy hadn’t spoken since the other night. Yet even if they were fine talking to one another, somepony was bound to notice something. What would they say? Fluttershy was now threading some of the daisies together into chain. Twilight watched the process absentmindedly, remembering how she used to do this with Cadence when they went on picnics together when she was a filly. She remembered thinking her foal-sitter was doing some kind of powerful alicorn magic to get them to stick together, and Cadence spending hours showing her how to pull the stems apart just so… “How are you doing that?” she asked, crouching down in front of the other pony. Fluttershy flinched, dropping the daisies she had in her hooves. “Doing what?” “Making that chain?” Fluttershy looked down at the string of daisies and picked it up, continuing where she had left of. “You just have to clip the bottom of them gently with your hooves,” she murmured, concentrating hard. “Then you push the stem through the little hole.” Twilight picked up one of the daisies and held it on the edge of her hoof, completely forgetting the conversation they were supposed to be having. She eyed the stem and tried to clip it between her two hooves but she was obviously far too clumsy. Instead of creating a space to push the other stem through, she had just chopped the daisy in two. She picked up another and tried again. This time, a breeze blew it out of her grasp before she could even bring her hoof down. She looked over at Fluttershy, trying to see what it was she was missing, but there didn’t seem to be any difference in the what she was doing compared to the pegasus. Six more times she tried, but she just couldn’t get it. There must have been some knack to it that Twilight didn’t have. She would probably be better sticking to the magical method, though Fluttershy would probably consider that cheating. Maybe she would be too busy to notice Twilight using magic. When she glanced up to check, though, she found the pegasus looking straight at her. “You didn’t seem awfully glad that I kissed you after I did it,” she said rather abruptly. In fact, she seemed to have startled even herself and hastily resumed work on her daisies. Twilight was completely taken aback by the sudden revelation. She felt like she had been doused in cold water. There was something about the way in which Fluttershy had said it that made Twilight dreadfully uncomfortable. It was a valid point, though. If their places has been reversed, she would probably have said the same thing. “I know. I was just so surprised. If I’m honest, I wasn’t too glad at the time. I just had so much going on with the coronation and everything that went along with that. I just didn’t know how to react. But I’m glad now. If we could go back and do it all again, I wouldn’t act like that.” Fluttershy didn’t say a word, though Twilight could tell she was listening. Her ears were perked up somewhat. Even to Twilight's mind, that had sounded too much like an excuse, and not a very good one at that, but it was true. Her thoughts had been too full to think about anything more. Bad timing and the element of surprise. There was something in her eyes, but Twilight couldn’t work out what she was thinking. She just kept clipping away at her daisies. “I guess it too late for that now, though,” she sighed picking up her own failed attempts at making a chain and blowing them from her hooves. Fluttershy looked up at Twilight and with a sympathetic smile and crept a little closer. She picked up one of the daisies Twilight had blown away and examined it “You know, you’re not too far away. All you have to do it make sure you’re clipping along the length of the stem instead of the width. Take this and I’ll show you,” Fluttershy said giving Twilight one of her daisies. Twilight took it in her hoof. “Now hold it really steady,” she said, holding Twilight’s leg in her left hoof. Twilight felt herself shaking. Not because she was trying to concentrate on holding still but rather because Fluttershy was touching her. It was delicate, it was warm, it was kind. It was everything Fluttershy’s touch should be. She found herself wishing that that moment would last forever. Yet at the same time it felt incredibly strange. Perhaps this was what it would be like if they went back to just being friends. Much like it had always been, but with the implied agreement that it was weird. That wouldn’t be so bad. And they had been friends for years now. They could get through this. They were grown mares, not little fillies. Things like this were bound to have happened to other ponies. Perhaps there was a book on it? If not, she could write one. Changing the names of course. Fluttershy’s other hoof came down upon the daisy in Twilight’s grasp. There was a tiny bit of pressure then she let go of both hoof and leg. “Like that, see?” Fluttershy said, smiling. Twilight looked down at the flower in her hoof. It had a tiny little split in it, just as though it had been clipped by magic. Twilight looked back up at Fluttershy who was now standing up in front of her. That smile would have lit up all of Equestria. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Her mane and her coat looked even paler than usual and her eyes sparkled like stars. She looked so calm, as though nothing could phase her. Deftly, she plucked the daisy out of Twilight’s hoof and trotted back over to where her chain lay on the ground. She attached the final daisy and closed it into a circle, picking it up in her mouth. Before Twilight knew what was happening, she had placed it on top of her head. “You left your crown on the grass over there,” she said, giggling and pointing towards the tree. Twilight had no idea what to say. This was beyond weird. She was kidding herself if she thought they could go back to being friends after all of this. She could tell herself otherwise but in the end, she was bound to keep treating everything they did together like a date. She could already feel herself doing it. Or else she would hold out hope that there was still something between them. This simple act was proof enough of that. “Fluttershy, what is this?” she asked, unable to hold it back any longer. Fluttershy stopped dead, her eyes springing open in alarm. Twilight cringed. That had come out a lot more straight forward than she had intended it to. “Wh-what do you mean?” Fluttershy stammered, yet her tone and her expression betrayed her. It was clear for anypony to see that she knew exactly what was being asked. She looked frightened – trapped into a situation that she had been carefully avoiding. “What is this?” Twilight asked again, pointing to the daisies on her head. “What does any of it mean? What am I to you? Am I your friend? Or is it something more? Please, just tell me.” Fluttershy stepped back from Twilight. She bit her lip to stop it from trembling, but that didn’t help. Her entire body appeared to be shaking uncontrollably. There was a moment or two where Twilight thought she might take off crying, but to her surprise, Fluttershy looked back at her very seriously. It was, in fact, the most serious look that Fluttershy had ever given her. “I... I don’t know,” she breathed. Twilight wanted to scream. This was frustrating. How could she not know? Twilight knew exactly how she felt. There were only two possible answers. And yes, the question was difficult but Fluttershy had to have some idea. The pegasus looked down at the ground and back up, clearly sensing Twilight’s frustration. She swallowed hard and stepped forward. “Would you kiss me?” she asked. Twilight shook her head. Had she heard that right? “I mean, if you could? Because I'd let you. You know, if you wanted to, that is.” Twilight stared at the pegasus, her heart pounding in her chest. This was as good as she could have possibly hoped for. She should have been jumping around for joy but all she could manage was one word. “Yes?” With a loud squeak – which had it come from any other pony, might have been described as a squeal – Fluttershy threw herself at Twilight, knocking her onto her back. “Really?” she asked, looking down at the princess with her wings spread in excitement. Twilight looked back up at her, laughing happily, and nodded. She wondered for a moment why it had taken Fluttershy so long to tell her how she felt. Perhaps she had feared that Twilight didn’t feel the same. Or perhaps she simply couldn’t bring herself to say it. In truth, it hardly mattered now anyway. In an instant, the whole situation was transformed. It was like something out of a dream. Fluttershy wrapped her arms tightly around Twilight. She too was laughing; laughing and crying at the same time. Her wings were flapping uncontrollably too but she wouldn’t let go of Twilight. As a result, the two of them ended up floating a few feet into the air. Still holding the pegasus tightly in her arms, Twilight began flapping her wings too in an attempt to keep them steady. With the combined power of their two sets of wings, they rose higher and higher. They must have been well above the height of the nearby tree before they stopped climbing. When Fluttershy’s grip finally loosened, the pair held one-another at arms length. Twilight stared at the pegasus. Her head partially obscured the moon and she was surrounded on all sides by a haze of brightly twinkling stars. Despite this, nothing shone more brightly than she did herself. As they flew there, it occurred to Twilight what it was that Fluttershy must have been expecting and suddenly it was the only thing Twilight could think of. With one last glance into Fluttershy’s beautiful eyes, she closed her own and gave in. A rush of blood shot straight to her head as she nudged her muzzle gently against the other pony’s. Her mind, for the first time in her life, was utterly blank and she was lost in a world of pure sensation. Minutes could have passed. Hours even. Or days. Or no time at all, for that matter. It was impossible to tell. Nothing else existed in Twilight’s world other than the soft, warm feeling of Fluttershy. Before long the muzzling became more urgent. As though they were searching for something. And with each passing moment, their search became more frantic. The reality of what was about to happen made Twilight shiver. Her stomach leapt around with anticipation. There was nothing between them. Nothing stopping them. She held her breath and nudged Fluttershy’s lips. Fluttershy nudged back. That was all it took. The next thing Twilight knew, she had pressed her lips against Fluttershy’s. The fear, the doubt, the relief, the joy, the anticipation – everything Twilight had felt from the moment the pegasus had first appeared that evening – spilled out of her in a fit of passion. She held Fluttershy tighter, as though letting her go would mean never holding her again. This kiss was nothing like the last one. It felt wonderful. It felt relaxed. It felt expected, perhaps even inevitable. There was no confusion; no surprise; no need to wonder what the other pony was thinking. It was the most natural thing that could have happened. Twilight felt grass under her hooves again. In the heat of the moment, she had evidently forgotten to keep flapping her wings. She broke the kiss, though the feeling of Fluttershy’s lips lingered for a few moments longer. And then there was nothing. The stillness of the night was interrupted only by the thundering of her heart against her ribs and Fluttershy’s deep breathing. When she opened her eyes again, Twilight found herself looking at the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Fluttershy stood in front of her, her pastel pink mane highlighted by the pale glow of the moon. Her eyes were distant, yet focused. It was as though she was looking not at Twilight, the pony, but rather something deeper. A gentle smile pulled at corners of her mouth. A beautiful smile. A perfect smile. It took Fluttershy a very long time to notice that Twilight was staring at her. She coloured and looked down at her hooves. Twilight felt herself laughing internally. It was endearing that, despite what had just happened, she was just as demure as ever. Twilight ran her hoof through Fluttershy’s mane and across her gentle features. Fluttershy smiled again and lifted her gaze to meet Twilight’s. “So, um, what do we do now?”