//------------------------------//
// MLP Loops 133 
// Story: MLP Time Loops 
// by Saphroneth 
//------------------------------//


133.1 (Kris Overstreet)

"Hello again, Mr. Wayne."

Twilight Sparkle and the gray-coated, black-maned earth pony stallion faced each other on the path through Canterlot Park. The latter bowed his head slightly to her.

"Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle. And it's Mane this time. Bruce Mane."

"Do I have to repeat myself about this being a sanctuary Loop?" Twilight asked. "Or should I bring Fluttershy to speak to you? She's Awake, I'm pretty sure."

One corner of Bruce Mane's mouth turned up for just a moment. "That won't be necessary," he said. "I've just resigned from Celestia's royal guard. Family reasons."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Family reasons?"

"My brother Filthy Rich just died. I've been named guardian of his daughter Diamond Tiara." The lines of Bruce Mane's muzzle set a little more firmly. "I doubt taking care of a spoiled, willful filly who got her cutie mark at her father's deathbed will leave me any time for my usual pursuits."





The sole heiress to the vast Rich fortune looked down from the rooftop at the streets of Canterlot. Somewhere in this city, she thought, is the pony who murdered my parents. Not even Celestia could find him... but I will. I will find him and bring him to justice, him and everypony else who breaks the harmony of Equestria.

She pulled the mask over her face, backed up for a running start, and bounded forward, leaping over the alley towards the next building over.

She missed the opposite cornice by a country mile, plunging towards the alley six stories below.

And then a rope wound around one leg and arrested her fall, leaving her to sway back and forth between buildings for a moment before, slowly but surely, she was pulled to one wall and then hauled back up over the edge of the roof.

"Your father thought of you as his little princess," the gravelly voice of her uncle said. "His diamond in the rough. He wouldn't want to see you throw your life away in the pursuit of vengeance."

"Not vengeance." Diamond pulled her mask off and looked up at the dark, shadowy pony holding the rope. "Justice. And I won't let you stop me."

"I won't let you kill yourself," Bruce Mane said. "But I will show you how to do it right. I will train you to be the physical peak that a pony is capable of becoming. I will teach you the mastery of disguise, so you can sit among your enemies and gather your evidence. I will teach you the forensic sciences, so you can find and interpret that evidence. And I will teach you police and legal procedures, so your evidence can be used in a court of law."

He put a hoof on the filly's shoulder and said, "It will not be an easy course, and if you decide to quit there will be no shame in it. If you persist you give up all hope of ever leading a normal life. The only happiness you will ever know will be the sight of those you captured being led into the dungeons. The only friends you will ever have will be those who fight the good fight alongside you, and even they cannot be trusted with your inner secrets. You will be alone as no pony has ever been alone, suspicious of the world, even doubting yourself every moment of every day. Your life will be sacrificed for the sake of others, day by day, battle by battle. And above all, no one must know it is Diamond Tiara who watches over them." A shaft of light from the unblemished moon caught his face, and Diamond saw his eyes- kindly, friendly eyes, for once- looking directly into hers. "Are you sure this is what you want? Are you certain?"

Diamond snorted. "I've been alone since my daddy died. And I wasted my time with him whining and begging for one thing after another. I've never done a single useful thing in my life." She stomped a hoof in fury, shouting, "I was there! I could have saved them! But I was just a spoiled, useless rich filly!"

In the privacy of his mind, Bruce Wayne contemplated his fate. Even in the Loops, even in another world, even when I'm not Batman, I'm Batman... or I'm raising Batman.

"Very well," he said. "Then I'll help you all I can." Guiding Diamond back to the roof-access door to the stairs, he continued, "The first thing we need to discuss is an alias. Criminals, in my experience, tend to be a cowardly, superstitious lot, with notable exceptions. You will need a name that strikes fear into their hearts."

"I was going to call myself the Mysterious Mare-do-Well."

"That... doesn't quite work for me." Fortunately, Bruce Mane had vast experience in suppressing the urge to laugh.





"Really?" Twilight Sparkle stood on the rooftop, looking down at the little caped crusader. Behind her, Bruce Mane, clad immaculately in a tuxedo, practiced the Loops' best poker face. "Honestly? You couldn't go one Loop without doing something like this? And you thought I wouldn't find out?"

"I wasn't the one who gave this filly my defining moment in life," Bruce Mane replied. "The Loops demand a Batman. Or, in this case," he gestured to his ward, "a Nightwing."

"We even have a secret cave!" Nightwing Tiara retorted. "Princess Luna gave it to us! She even made us poles to slide down-"

"What have I told you," Bruce Mane said sharply, "about telling other people more than they need to know?"

"Um... not to?"

"The exact words."

"A good detective does not tell other people things; she waits and listens for other people to tell her things."

"Precisely."

"Excuse me," Twilight butted in. "Now that the lesson is over, can we get back to discussing the corruption of unAwake ponies in a-"

Screams erupted from the street below. Without a word Diamond Tiara reached to the belt around her barrel, pulled out a grappling hook, and flung it with perfect accuracy at the chimney of the building across the broad street. She flung herself off the building, swinging towards whatever miscreant was at work below.

Twilight looked over the roof, shaking her head as one undersized filly began to take on six jungle cats. (Granted, one was a long-haired house cat, but that one was the dirtiest fighter of the lot.) From all appearances she was winning.

"This isn't over," she said to Bruce Mane.

"I think it is," he said firmly. "But I'll make you a deal. The next time you're visiting Gotham, and the world is threatened by a magical princess with a thousand years' worth of jealous huff, we can do it your way."





133.2 (Kris Overstreet)

Watchtower Secret Files YGGDRASIL- Please enter password

}}}puxatawny

Password accepted.

Directory YGGDRASIL has 249 subdirectories

}}}equestria

Subdirectory EQUESTRIA has eight files

}}}play all

"Batman Final Contingency file: Equestria. Foreword. The universe known as Equestria is one of the lower threat levels to Loopers, being a magic-saturated land where the principal form of magic derives its power from positive emotions, specifically friendship and harmony. However, the most frequent Loopers from that universe are also among the most influential Loopers aside from the original Seven. Furthermore, hostile and malevolent variants of Equestrian Loopers have been encountered before, and therefore may be encountered again. Thus contingency plans should be in place in the extremely unlikely eventuality that the Justice League is forced to stop one or more of these beings.

"One word of warning. Using friends or family as hostages is always immoral and usually of only temporary effect. With Equestrians taking hostages is outright counterproductive. When one of their own is endangered, an Equestrian gains a moral and mental clarity of purpose which is otherwise absent. Furthermore, when responding to a threat against a loved one, an Equestrian's native magic is intensified by the bonds of love and friendship between the hostage and the rescuer. No matter the danger, avoid any threat whatever to noncombatants with any relationship with an Equestrian foe; otherwise you will face certain defeat."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Twilight Sparkle. The Looping Twilight Sparkle is Anchor of her Loop and far and away the single most powerful being from her universe. Even her un-Awake self possesses power on a par with the demigoddesses who control Equestria's local cosmos. Fortunately for us all her moral code is just as strong as her magic. However, in the event of encountering a hostile Twilight Sparkle, Justice League members must be prepared to take her down hard and fast, for if given enough time to prepare a strategy and select a mode of attack she becomes unstoppable. Do not give her that time.

"I recommend sensory-overload tactics such as flash-bangs and illusions, preferably structured to clash against her obsessive-compulsive tendencies. When disoriented and confused Twilight Sparkle becomes vulnerable and may be subdued from behind- but not directly from behind."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Applejack. Applejack is the second oldest Looper from Equestria and commonly acts as field support for other Equestrian Loopers. In addition to her native strength and skill, both of which are near the peak achievable for Equestrian ponies, she is the most talented in picking up and retaining skills from other universes. However, she has a streak of self-doubt and a tendency towards stubbornness and single-minded devotion to the task at hand, and thus slow to adapt to new conditions. A Justice League member facing Applejack is best advised to evade her initial attacks until a pattern emerges or until she hesitates... and then, strike quickly, because she is unlikely to give you a second chance."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Pinkie Pie. Hello, Pinkie. Yes, I know you're reading this. Yes, I enjoyed the cupcakes very much, thank you. Yes, Ace likes the dog biscuits.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie, even un-Awake, is a reality warper on a limited level. All known rules of physics and causality may be considered as having the words, 'except Pinkie Pie,' added to them. Fortunately for us all, the vast majority of these abilities are dependent on her good nature and her desire to be friends with all other beings. Thus, while the Looper Pinkie Pie is terrifying but benevolent, a truly evil Pinkie Pie would be of far lesser threat. Even an alicorn evil Pinkie can be subdued with no greater difficulty than an un-Awake Princess Celestia.

"Caution: if you can avoid it, do not make what is called a Pinkie Promise; if you have made one, live up to it. Breaking a Pinkie Promise will not lead to fatal consequences, but from all reports those who do break the promise find the full power of an enraged benevolent Pinkie aimed directly at them... and they will find very little sympathy from other Loopers."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Rainbow Dash. Although the Looping Rainbow Dash can assume alicorn form and powers at will, she has exhibited little interest in any aspects of her abilities other than the athletic, in particular speed and flying. She is a black belt in various kinds of unarmed martial arts, but otherwise has little or no particular combat training. Thus, when confronted by a hostile Rainbow Dash, draw her into a confined space where she cannot build up the speed required for her most potent tactics. Once this is done, her natural pony endurance will make bringing her down difficult, but not impossible."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Rarity. Rarity is generally a non-combatant, but it must be remembered that even her baseline self is a unicorn of diverse talents and extreme craftiness. Do not be deceived by her intense dislike for dirt, disorder, or unfashionable garments; she can endure or even embrace all of these things if necessary to achieve her goals. It is extremely unlikely that a hostile Rarity will be encountered without her friends nearby; therefore you must isolate her at the first opportunity and prevent her from using her most potent weapons, her mind and her voice. Do not attempt psychology on her; take her down with straight brute force, preferably beginning by suppressing her magic.

"Addendum: on no account mention the name 'Tom' to her. The rage that results does not bring confusion or turmoil, but it does allow Rarity to use her powers far beyond what she normally thinks are her limits. The results for the unlucky Justice League member facing her would be extremely painful."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Fluttershy. Of all the Equestrian Loopers, few have more variants to their baseline personality than Fluttershy. Fortunately most of these variants are either harmless or much less powerful than the original, and may be disregarded. If a hostile Fluttershy is encountered, most likely it will be a pegasus pony with the ability to imbue crippling guilt on any being capable of that emotion through eye-to-eye contact. Though a potent weapon, this is not true telepathy and can be avoided by simply avoiding eye contact. Of greater concern is her ability to communicate with animals; therefore it is vital to separate her from any animals and keep her separated until she is secured.

"In addition the Looping Fluttershy is a talented shapeshifter and druid, and unlike her non-Looping self she is not prone to self-doubt or fear. Ironically, though she is the gentlest of their group, she is also the most experienced with lethal combat, except possibly Twilight Sparkle, due to her close ties with the Warhammer 40K universe. No Justice League member should ever attempt to take on a hostile Fluttershy alone, under any circumstances. That said, unless the Fluttershy in question is an evil variant, she is also the most amenable of the group to negotiation, and can be used as the key to ending hostilities. For this reason the first line of attack with Fluttershy should always be persuasion."

*bwip*

"Batman Final Contingency file: Spike. The baseline Spike, even while experiencing a greed-induced growth spurt, is of negligible danger to any Justice League member. Looping Spike is definitely not. Through meditative techniques learned from the Jedi Order Spike has learned how to control his draconic growth, in addition to limited telepathic, clairvoyant, and precognitive abilities. This makes developing countermeasures against him, should he fall to the Dark Side, extremely difficult. I am still contemplating the best tactic to use, but as neither he nor the other Equestrians are at all likely to present a threat to the Justice League or our Earth, I have not given the matter a very high priority."

*bwip*

END OF FILE

Batman leaned back in his chair, allowing the tiny, tiny smirk which for him was a broad grin to sneak onto his face, since nobody was present to see. Yes, he continually got teased by other Loopers for his apparent paranoia, but so be it. Even the most benevolent creatures could turn evil, especially in variant Loops. Why, he'd even heard tell of certain Loopers encountering a Darth Porifer, and if Spongebob could be evil, anybody could.

Of course, until and unless his world experienced a Conversion Bureau variant Loop, the odds of any of these plans being used, even in their sketchy state, were nil. It was an idle activity, a pastime... insofar as Batman ever used the word, it was fun. It kept his intellect occupied on those days when Gotham was relatively peaceful and no global or universal threats loomed.

Like today.

"Computer, open new file."

WORKING

"Batman Final Contingency file: Derpy Hooves..."

This one would be a real challenge.





133.3 (fractalman)

Nyx drank a "Flutterguy" potion to lower her voice, cleared her throat, and began to sing:

You're a smart one, Sparkle butt.
You really are my mom.
You're as cuddly as a plush toy
You are so adorkable
Sparkle butt
You're a princess alicorn with a quill to jot down thoughts!

You're a clever one, sparkle butt
Your heart is filled with friends!
Your brain is full of great big words
You've got math within your soul, sparkle butt!
I wanna hug you with
Thirty-nine and half kage bunshins!

"NYX? I AM GOING TO TICKLE YOU TO DEATH!" yelled Twilight.

Nyx giggled, "Gotta run!"





133.4 (Masterweaver)

"Twilight Sparkle?" Celestia asked, looking at the tiara on top of the purple unicorn's helmet. "I thought I sent you and Cadence off to negotiate with the griffons..."

Twilight nodded. "You did, your highness, but princess Cadence ordered us back to investigate why the sun failed to rise." She gave a look to the pink alicorn fussing over an injured Shining Armor. "I think she was well within her rights to do so."

Celestia glanced at them for a moment or two, her lips pursed in thought. "Yes... well, all's well that ends well, I suppose." She turned to Twilight and the other five ponies currently bowing to her. "I must thank you all for restoring my sister's sanity--"

"Princess," Twilight interrupted, "I'm afraid I have something to say."

"...Oh?"

Twilight nodded. "When Cadence and I arrived in Ponyville to find you, we had to take some time to calm down a panicking mob. Once we did, I sought out your student--my brother--in hopes of discovering what had happened, only to find that after checking off the list of Summer Sun Celebration preparations he had headed straight into the Everfree Forest. Cadence, myself, and a few ponies from the town--" She gestured behind her-- "all decided to follow his tracks, ending up in a dilapidated castle. We discovered Nightmare Moon, freed from a thousand year prison, and the Elements of Harmony which we used to subdue her."

"Twilight, I was already aware of all--"

"Princess, I am afraid it is my duty to place you under arrest."

There was a moment where absolutely nobody spoke.

Suddenly six voices were speaking over each other at once. "Darling you can't be serious--" "Arresting tha princess?! Are ya crazy--?" "What the hay Twilight?! What are you on--" "And ponies think I'm crazy--" "Haha, Auntie, I'm sure she's just kidding around--" "Ohmygoodnessohmygoodness-ohmygoodnessohmygoodness--"

Luna stared wide-eyed at the impudent purple unicorn. Shining Armor merely groaned, putting a hoof to his face. And Celestia... blinked, taking a few moments to process what she had just heard.

Twilight did her best not to burst out laughing, keeping her face stoic and firm like her in-loop guard training told her to.

Celestia shook her head. "Ah.... If I may ask, Twilight... What exactly are the charges?"

"Conspiracy to remove one member of the reigning diarchy from office, imprisonment of said diarch for longer than legal limitation, obfuscation of said incident, negligence of government property, negligence of high-level magical artifacts, misinformation regarding a public event, inducing a public panic, endangering a ward of the crown..." Twilight shrugged. "Probably a few things I've forgotten on top of that."

"If our sister is to be arrested for such crimes, verily we shall be as well!" Luna proclaimed.

"Actually," Twilight mused, "most of your so called crimes have exceeded their statute and thus can no longer be presented in a court of law. I suppose the more recent hijacking of the lunar/solar cycle might qualify, but I'm reasonably certain that the court would find that the result of insanity so you'd probably only be assigned therapy... Oh! Shining, are you going to press assault charges?"

"You're making this a big enough clusterbuck as it is," groaned the stallion. "I'm not piling anything on top of that."

"So, yeah. You're in the clear."

"But..." Luna sputtered. "We attempted to overthrow our sister and create eternal night! TWICE!"

"The statute of limitations on the first one has expired," Twilight repeated. "And, actually, come to think of it if Celestia didn't consult anyone before imprisoning you that would have been another violation of the law..."

"You're really going to do this," Cadence groaned. "You're really going to try to arrest Celestia."

"It's my sworn duty as a royal guard to uphold the law, no matter who breaks it."

Celestia shut her eyes, massaging her forehead. "I suppose I'll be under house arrest until the trial, then."

"Wait, you're just going to go along with this?!" Rainbow Dash jumped into a hovering position. "You're the freaking princess of Equestria--well, one of them, sorry Nightma-IMEANLUNA, Luna, going to have to get used to that--"

"If I were to evade punishment for my crimes," Celestia retorted, "it might encourage other powerful figures to abuse their own authority. That's why I put the laws down in the first place."

"To be entirely fair, due to her power and position she'll probably only have to pay significant restoration." Twilight waved a hoof. "Paying for Luna's therapy, damage to Ponyville, maybe a better guarded place for the Elements--the castle's pretty much a lost cause unless we clear out part of the Everfree, but that would violate nature preserve laws--"

"Would I still be allowed to conduct my duties as princess?" Celestia inquired, a faint smile on her lips. "During my house arrest, I mean."

"Not without supervision," Twilight replied. "We don't want corruption in the bureaucracy."

"Oh dear. I suppose only protectors of the realm would be allowed to oversee my decisions," Celestia lamented. "Seeing as I am the princess, and all that."

Twilight cringed in realization. "...Yes, your highness."

"And I do recall one of our more ancient laws stating that any wielder of the Elements of Harmony is considered a realm protector," the alicorn continued. "Since, of course, the Elements are, well, artifacts of great power--"

"Wait, hold up." Applejack raised a hoof. "What exactly are ya'll saying here?"

"Basically, we're going to be her secretaries until the trial," Twilight groaned. "Her only secretaries. No help from anyone, just her, us, and mounds of paperwork...."

There was another moment of silence.

"...Right." Rarity shook her head. "This has gone on long enough. There are ten ponies here, Luna is a princess and therefore a judge, Cadence you are Celestia's defense lawyer since Twilight has clearly decided to be prosecution, and the rest of us can be the jury."

"Oooo, I've never been on a jury before!" Pinkie squealed. "I've always been rejected!"

"And we're holding the trial here. Right, legal and all."

Luna blinked. "Ah, we may not be up to date on all the legalities of the modern realm--"

"The prosecution has made its case, what does the defense say?"

Cadence blinked. "Uh, um, this whole situation is ridiculous?"

"Quite. Now then, private votes for everyone, guilty or not guilty." Rarity started handing out little slips of paper to Shining and the element bearers who were not Twilight Sparkle, alongside small quills.

Fluttershy took hers with some trepidation. "Where did you get these?"

"There was a small office down the hall, I took some desk supplies." Finishing up her writing, she handed the slip of paper to a very confused Luna. "Now you read our votes--don't say who voted what--and come up with a sentence based on that."

Luna blinked as she examined the papers all thrust at her. "Ah. Not guilty, innocent, not guilty, not guilty, trying to hide a smile I can see you Celestia--"

She took a moment to look at her sister, who was very clearly and certainly not at all smiling in any way at all.

"--also even if she's guilty I'm not going to say she is cause I hate paperwork, and... hmm. Knot guillotine?"

Twilight peered over her shoulder. "That's 'not guilty.' I think."

"Ah. Well in this case, our sister hath been proven not guilty by unanimity." Luna tilted her head. "Hmm. In this case, I say the sentence is to escort this whole party back to Ponyville and... enjoy a day with her little sister?"

"Sounds good to me," Twilight said.





133.5 (Detective Ethan Redfield)

Twilight stepped into Sugar Cube Corner. Neither Mac nor Berry were awake, so she had to make due with the next best thing, Pinkie Pie. The pony had already set out a triple chocolate sugar delight sundae, which Twilight attacked, fully intent on drowning her last loop in ice cream. The party pony popped up from nowhere on the seat across from her, "So, what brings the smartest brainy pony looper to my place?"

Twilight rolled her eyes but her mouth unconsciously started grinning, "Weird loop."

Pinkie started bounding in her seat, "Oh, oh, tell me, tell me!"

"Well, my unawake self had been researching Neuroscience when Dash come to my library to get help studying for the Wonderbolt entrance exams. This time, there was a paper exam with weather research. She had a week or two to study for the exam after having not taken the time for the preceding two months. So, my unawake self got the idea to give Dash a brain booster drug. I awoke just as I administered a dose to a couple mice test subjects."

With a slurp, she downed an entire scoop of the Sundae in one go, paused to let the brain freeze pass, then continued, "It worked beyond my wildest dreams. The control mice kept doing the maze to get the cheese, and the test subject jumped the maze wall. In my excitement, I prepared a capsule to administer to Dash with her permission. Spike, unawake Spike, however talked me out of it."

Pinkie giggled, "What went wrong?"

Twilight shook her head, "Spike made some tea and accidentally knocked the capsule into the kettle. He served us the tea during Dash's study session. Dash thought that it was the tea that made me smart, and I might have made a joke that it could help her. She drank the whole  thing."

The purple pony muttered under her breath that she didn't think Dash would take it so seriously, then continued, "So, Spike called me in to see that my lab mice had escaped and left a letter for me."

She passed the letter to Pinkie, who read it aloud:

Twilight Sparkle,

While I was most content with my life of leisure in your laboratory, a recent experiment of yours has opened my eyes to the vastness of the world beyond my enclosure. It is with this in mind that I orchestrated mine and my brethren's escape from the confines of your basement. There is much more to this life than cheese at the end of a maze. On one paw, I suppose I should be angry with you, keeping my kind and I trapped in cages, but on the other paw, were it not for your experiments, I would never have awakened as truly as I have today. Jacqueline and I are taking the rest of our kind into the wilderness to build a civilization for the good of mouse-kind.

Regards,

Mouse, Barnabus the

Twilight rubbed her head, "So long story short, Dash ended up ascending, deposed Celestia and Luna and instituted a popular elected democracy. Meanwhile, the Great Mouse nation arose in Everfree Forest, and we ended up in a cold war with them somehow."

Pinkie smirked, "Well, that didn't seem so bad."

Twilight shrugged, "No, but I really don't like having to clean up after variant me's mistakes. Remind me to tell you later the time unawake me banished Celestia to the moon because Celestia didn't like tea."






133.6 (Evilhumour)

Twilight blinked at the sight she saw in Mac's bar.

There was a pony in a dark robe throwing back drink after drink, with Fluttershy rubbing his back.

"What the?"

"WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ALWAYS ME, MON?!?" The robed pony sobbed loudly, shaking his head as he dropped his glass onto the floor.

"Fluttershy, what happened?"

"Oh hello Twilight," her friend gave her a weak smile. "You see, this Loop all deaths have a person coming for the soul. Angel had a bad accident, and Grim here felt sorry for me, offering to stay with me if I won a staring contest. I had no idea of what happened in his baseline and..."

"WHEN WILL I LEARN NOT TO BET ON FREAKIN' RODENTS!?!" The visiting Anchor flailed before curling up on the floor.





133.7

Started by: Evilhumour
Compiled by: Masterweaver
Includes contributions by: Detective Ethan Redfield, DrTempo, Evilhumour, FTKnight, GammaTron, Hvulpes, kingofsouls, KrisOverstreet, Masterweaver, Ryuus2, wildrook

Nyx looked at her mother in the bar.

"Momma, do you Pinkie Promise not to get mad?" Nyx said with big eyes, to which her mother foolishly nodded her head.

"Thanks!" Nyx hugged her mom and looked at the group of Loopers. "Ok, drinking game. What was the funnest way that you saw the Golden Oaks go, or the best way you accidentally destroyed it?"

Twilight's eye twitched. "Nyx Sparkle, once we are home, you are so grounded."

"Unlimited Blade Works," Sword Hill/Shirou Emiya replied. "Tirek was involved, the tree got caught in the Reality Marble, and it was the first time I tried out the Type 3 Zankantou."

Luna smiled fondly. "One loop I performed a wedding ceremony, and the delightful couple spent the rest of the loop on the moon. Voluntarily, I hasten to add, it was their honeymoon."

Vinyl raised a hoof. "Pun aside, what does that have to do with Golden Oaks?"

"He was the groom. The tree of Harmony was the bride."

Twilight blinked. "I remember that loop, actually. The Harmony Palace... whatever it's called was their baby and they wanted me to be the godmother."

"Watching Caboose team kill it with Sheila even after Twilight successfully prevented it from being destroyed by that big centaur," Grif chuckled.

"I did not do that! Rainbow Dash did it."

"I got lost," Cyclone Buster replied.

"What else is new?" Psycho Driver asked him.

"I ended up getting a hitchhiker in the form of the OTHER Sombra, and...stuff blew up."

"Winona peeing on the tree and it instantly combust into flames," Church chuckled, "You actually tried to spay the dog for it as I recall. Then again, you did have a bad Loop with Caboose."

"Not my fault. She gave me a grenade," Caboose informed.

"We want to be on the record," said a gray pegasus with blonde mane done in a braid, "that the incident with the ED-209s and the ping-pong table was not our fault."

"SkyNet," Twilight snapped, "in what possible way was dancing on the table holding the ping-pong ball in one hoof and taunting two poorly programmed mecha to try and take it NOT your fault?"

"Well, for one thing," SkyNet responded, "we weren't the one who put the robots there in the first place."

"Er, yeah," Applebloom said, scratching the back of her head with one hoof. "My bad. But it wasn't th' weirdest way I destroyed th' library. I reckon that one was one o' those times I was tryin' ta build a sonic screwdriver. I really thought I had it that time."

"Suuuuure you did," half a dozen pony Loopers said.

"Well, I got a bit ambitious," Applebloom continued. "An' I thought, why can't you make a sonic that works on wood? So I tried it."

"And every bit of my home turned into splinters," Twilight grumbled. "EXCEPT the door you were trying to open. Which didn't even have a lock."

Apple Bloom realized a little too late, judging by the artery pulsing in Twilight's temple, that this particular bar bet might not be safe to win. "Well, um, Fluttershy's was worse!" she said, jabbing a hoof at the yellow pegasus.

"I thought I was doing a good thing," Fluttershy murmured. "Mrs. Beaver wanted to teach her children the value of literacy."

Chrysalis gave a grin. "I once had my changelings steal the library while Twilight was sleeping."

Twilight slammed her head on the table.

Celestia blushed. "I once had a bit too much to drink and I may have tried to impress someone by tossing a tree around the world."

"So that's why I had a tree imbedded into my house that one loop." Twilight muttered.

"Rabbids," Rainbow Dash replied. "A stampede of Rabbids after Applejack provoked them."

"Ah said ah was SORRY!" Applejack yelled.

"Trixie had--"

The blue unicorn paused, looking around the bar. After assuring herself that it was griffon free, she smirked.

"Trixie had just discovered how to make Thermite--"

"HEY GUYS! Sorry I'm late, passport paperwork is horrible this loop." Gilda sauntered in. "What are we doing?"

"Best way we've seen the library removed." Nyx shrugged. "Were you about to say something, aunt Trixie?"

Trixie slumped in her seat. "...no, nothing..."

"I thought you were going to mention the time you turned Tank into a Mine-Turtle," Rainbow Dash replied. "Again."

"I once tried to impress Nyx by lifting the library but I kinda sneezed." Lemon Rush blushed and looked to the side. Nyx giggled and leaned over to give him a kiss as Twilight continued to bang her head into the table.

"There was this one time," Rarity mused, "where Twilight had a hard wired impulse to bang her head against something whenever she saw something stupid. She literally could not resist. Discord wasn't awake, but we did manage to get him less, ah, chaotic when he escaped, but he caught wind of Twilight's condition and... well... the end result was her hammering the library apart with her skull."

Twilight raised her head, cast a structural increase spell on the table, and slammed back down hard.

After a moment, she let out a groan of pain.

Pinkie's smile shrank a bit, and she looked down at the table.

"There was one time that someone broke a Pinkie Promise." There was a gasp of disbelief and shock at that statement. "Your tree was part of the collateral damage. I've been meaning to apologize for this, but I've never had a good chance and-" Pinkie's eyes started to water as the guilt began to grow in her.

"It's okay Pinkie," Twilight murmured from her face down position. "I forgive you." Sighing loudly, she flicked her eyes upwards. "Who's next to tell me how they destroyed my tree?"

"Or how about the time you threw a massive party Nyx?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Pinkie Pie!" Nyx squeaked.

"What party Nyx?" Twilight turned her head slowly, glaring at her daughter. "Because I don't really remember you throwing a party that destroyed our home."

"It was a party when you were gone and things got a bit out of control, mamma." Nyx muttered softly. "It wasn't badgers that time..."

Twilight was tempted to get angry at her daughter for throwing a party when she was gone, but Pinkie Pie was right next to her and she did give a Pinkie Promise not to get mad. "Two months, grounded."

Derpy looked at Twilight.

"I sneezed once, and the next thing I knew your house was in five different countries." She blushed.

"Let me guess, you don't know how?" Twilight asked, whimpering.

"Actually, I do know." Derpy smiled and she began to explain the series of events.

"Huh, that does make sense." Rainbow Dash said with everyone else nodding their heads after the explanation. Twilight just continued to hit her head against the table.

"There was the first time I saw a band of Viking raiders steal the tree and turn it into planks to fix their boat, at which point they kidnapped Luna and stole most of the royal Treasury, before sailing off," Discord said, wearing a Viking helmet, while drinking out of a (French) Horn. "And it wasn't my fault.... that time."

"That was my idea," Tex smirked before motioning to the Reds and Blues, "And these guys were the other vikings."

"I got tied to the boat!" Caboose beamed happily.

"I tricked Tirek into thinking that he had to eat Ms. Twilight Sparkle's home in order to take the Alicorn magic," a green Unicorn with the Greek symbol for Delta as his Cutie Mark, "By the time he was through the eastern wing of the library, he gave up because he had to be taken to the hospital."

"Nice one, Delta," Church chuckled, "But that was only partially destroyed."

"The belch he released as he was being loaded into the ambulance took care of the rest," Delta stated, making Twilight hit her head on the table once more.

"By the way," an Earth Pony said with the Cutie Mark of a steel wolf, next to a female Unicorn with a Cutie Mark of an angel...with playboy bunny ears, "guys, this is Excellen Browning. AKA, White Angel."

She then gave out a wave. "First time here," she said, "and it was kind of unfortunate...Cyclone Buster and Psychic Driver know this, but...combo attacks aren't the best method when getting used to equine bodies."

Steel Beowulf just remained emotionless. "And that's when Tirek took her magic," he said. "I...lost it."

"And by losing it," Psychic Driver said, "he means Tirek got ripped a new one faster than the one time I've seen Ingram soil himself when he brainwashed Steel Angel." Cyclone Buster nodded, confirming this.

"What does this have to do with my tree?" Twilight asked them.

"You know the hospitals sometimes don't have Lost and Found boxes?" Steel Beowulf asked her.

The implication hit Twilight immediately as she slammed her head on the table. Twice.

Applejack snorted. "As official museum curator for Equestrian Loops, Ah can assure y’all that the library has been torn apart, blown up, and set on fire more times and in more ways than Celestia has had birthday parties. You all really need ta get more creative!"

"Oh yeah?" One of the visiting loopers glowered at the orange pony. "Well then, miss museum, what would you put out on the table?"

Applejack smirked. "Bought out by Flim and Flam and demolished ta make way fer a tradepost. Accidentally brought ta life by druidic magics. Torn apart when somepony cast a voodoo doll spell on one of mah museum models. Toppled over by rioting ponies who assumed Princess Twilight was hidin' alicornation spells from tha populace. Turned into a bomb by an equation involvin' tha phrase 'Knowledge is power'--"

"New rule!" Twilight cried. "Applejack can't participate!" She lifted her head, pulling a bottle of aspirin out of her pocket and checking the expiration date before swallowing two pills.

"Bonbon sat on it," Lyra reported.

"...Um--"

"Yeah, for some reason she was a literal giant pony that loop. Actually, I think she was using it as a backscratcher and stumbled, but 'Bonbon sat on it' is so much clearer--"

Shining and Cadence looked at each other.

"There was that one time we-"

"That was you two?!" Twilight squeaked. "I had to wash my tree down for so long it broke in half with I tried to-Gah!" Twilight shuddered, slamming her head into the groove on the table.

"-played twister, when we noticed the tree had termites in it." Shining said, raising an eyebrow at his sister.

"We had it condemned." Cadence smiled at her sister in law. "We don't really mess with your home Twily."

"Thanks guys." She flashed a smile at them before faceplanting again. "Ok, once I find out who did that to my tree, lunar time out for three months." She groaned facedown from her table.

Discord and Berry Punch shared a glance, but said nothing.

"I once managed to have the TARDIS here but I needed to fill up," a pony with a long scarf said.

"So Scarfy here tried to land it properly near the biggest source of power," another pony said with a bowtie and smoking fez, grinning at the groans. "Long story short, it seems that all of us together are still not good enough to pilot the TARDIS properly and we crashed into it."

"Also, we're sorry for causing your home to implode that other time," a pony with a faux leather jacket added.

"And the one time we tried to get rid of Tirek that involved your house as bait," another one pony with three dimensional glasses said. "Turns out your tree is dripping in magic."

The rest of the Doctors laughed and apologized for their own accidental destruction of the Golden Oaks Library while Twilight went to get another table after she broke the first one with her head.

Commander Candy Cane, Hero of Equestria, took a sip from his Amasec, "There was one time that Lord Russ landed on Equis instead of Fenris."

Twilight sighed. "Let me guess, he landed on my tree."

The Commander shook his head as he emptied his goblet. "Oh, no, no, no. This was during the Nightmare Rebellion by Princess Luna. His arrival was seen as an omen that should her rebellion come to fruition, all the stars in the universe would crash to Equis, killing them all. It brought a lasting peace for Equestria. Lord Russ was then raised by the two Diarchs. Equestria became a stronghold world for the Imperium of Man."

Gilda scowled. "But wait, candybutt, this contest is for how the tree was either removed from Twilight's care, destroyed or disappeared."

Cane slid his goblet to Big Mac, who filled it up with more of the delectable drink. "Twilight's Library was confiscated when the Emperor arrived to research magic and its relation to the Warp. Unawake Twilight was delighted to help the Emperor. Eventually it was torn down and rebuilt to encompass all of Ponyville. Eventually, it covered the entire world as expansion after expansion was added."

He chuckled softly. "You should have seen archivist Dash, who could find any book in 10 seconds flat."

Gilda smiled, tapping her beak. "Well Twilight, I once decided to do some research on why RD here keeps on crashing into your home and I discovered that your tree is a pegasi magic beacon." She smirked, looking at the crowd. "I decided to borrow it once to see what would happen if I brought it home. I became the undefeated ruler by planting your tree in front of my throne."

Twilight gave a stink eye before slamming her head against the table again and again.

"Well," Rainbow Dash drawled, "there was this one Loop where I replaced Daring Do. And it turned out that the library tree was precisely a thousand years old, and it would produce an acorn that granted the person who ate it absolute knowledge. So of course Ahuizotl wanted it." She pulled out a stack of books and set them on the bar. The titles all read: Daring Do and the Kernel of Knowledge, by A. K. Yearling and Iris Drake. "If you want the details, you'll have to read the book. But long story short: library go smashy smashy."

"So that's why the library had a NO CATS ALLOWED sign in it for a few thousand Loops," Rarity noted.

Twilight nodded, which caused the table currently impaled on her horn to wobble.

Sleipnir took a long drink. "There was one time you managed to stop Tirek, but then a shoggoth came and ate a tree-shaped hole into your loop. It was either let your loop crash in a particularly nasty way, or stick your tree into the hole." The Admin smiled sadly. "Perfect shape to block the hole, I might add Twilight."

Twilight smashed her head through the second table and then did the same to the third table.

A yellow and black garbed human moaned loudly. "Look, I have no idea how it happened, but it was not my fault."

"I believe the human expression is 'Bull', Setback." An alien being that looked at home in an aquatic environment replied. "You lead those Gene Bound Fire-Sworn to the library after taunting them and then attempted to hide in the library after they started to chase you. And to add insult to injury, after we got them to leave, Voss tore the rest of the library up from the ground and used it to smash you into the ground.

"Hey, he's your nemesis, your fault. Not mine."

A young pony with an orange-based Cutie Mark was surprised.

"In my defense," the man replied, "the Inves ate the fruit from the tree, turned giant, and trampled itself on it. I just did clean-up duty."

"A-ha!" Trixie shouted from the bar. "I have thought of one-"

"Exploding my house doesn't really count Trixie." Twilight groaned from the table

"Bah, I would not wager my best story on a simple explosion." Trixie boasted, rubbing her hoof against her chest. "One time I was only one Awake with someone stealth anchoring, I had managed to make your house disappear when I first came to Ponyville." Trixie looked down at the floor. "Trixie never had the chance to bring it back as things went pretty much baseline for me, only worse as Twilight decided to bring in Celestia."

There was a bit of mutterings, and a certain changeling queen leaned over to hug her marefriend.

"At least it was better than the time you tried to cut me in half." Chrys said with a huff.

"You will never let that go, will you?" Trixie glared at her now. "It was a prop!"

"Yes, a prop chainsaw, which you did not tell me about until I almost fainted at your little 'trick'." She rolled her eyes. "Thank goodness the parents had the sense to boycott you after those two foals tried to copy you without knowing it was a fake." Chryss and Trixie looked at each and then upwards at the stunned bar.

"What?" Trixie blinked at the horrified loopers, "Snips and Snails tried to copy me; thankfully they were fool enough to ask you first Twilight." Trixie then huffed again before throwing back a shot. "I still don't see how or know why I was given community service for that, Trixie didn't do anything wrong!"

Sunset shrugged. "Does the Loop where Tirek got sent to the world beyond the mirror and blew up our Pokey Oaks Library count?"

"It does, as well as explain why my tree suddenly disappeared that one time."

"Did a zipper open up underneath it?" Orange Warlord asked Twilight.

"No." Twilight sighed, "I just got a letter that said my library was being donated to a town that just recently lost their own. While I was still in the shower."

"The letter came?"

"When they stole my tree and gave me that letter." Twilight grumbled from her seat.

"Oh," Orange Warlord said. "Never mind. I said my piece."

"How'd you still get indoor plumbing?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight.

"I didn't." Twilight glared at her friend. "One moment I was lathering my mane and the next I was face down in the hole where my basement should have been, and my mail box had a letter inside it."

"And...where'd this guy come from?"

"Right, sorry," he said. "Back home, I'm known as Kouta Karazuba. For some odd reason, I'm known as Orange Warlord here..."

"We'll discuss this later," Applejack replied.

Sunset, meanwhile, secretly sniggered.

They must never know I stole the tree like that, she thought to herself.





A few loops later, Twilight would sit up in her bed and realize that Sunset never said how she was connected to her tree in that bar bet that her daughter started.

Grinding her teeth, she decided she would need to have talk with her friend.





Diamond Tiara spoke up. “There was that time my unawake self tried to steal the tree from you because she thought it was the source of your alicorn powers. Only I woke up in the middle of her spell to turn it into a Genius Loci and caused it to transmute into tree sap, books and all.”

Twilight’s head broke through her fourth table. She glowered at Diamond as she levitated another table into place. “I remember. My mane still smelled like tree sap in the next loop!”

DT flinched at the just-short-of-Promise-breaking glare her anchor leveled at her. “Er...How about I teach you the spell I put on Rarity and Spike’s rings to drop it in your pocket if it detects imminent destruction?”

Twilight, banging her head on the table, suddenly stopped and looked up at the group. "Whoever comes up with the best way to make sure the Golden Oaks Library is safe and sound for the length of one or more loops... I will pay for their booze for an entire loop."

"...Any price?" Grif asked as he and the other heavy drinkers of the Loopers began to salivate a little.

Twilight nodded, baiting the hook. She wanted to see if she could save her tree. Then wait to see how the baseline version of her would deal with the loss, since she had heard this would happen when she was on the Hub.





Later that night, after the winning drink had been handed out and everyone had retired from the bar, Twilight sat up in bed putting the finishing touches on a new list.

Those Who’ve Destroyed My Tree, and How

It might be a bit petty of her, but no one messed with her tree and got away with it. She’d only Pinkie Promised not to get mad, after all. Nothing had been said about getting even. Besides, she was running dry on prank ideas lately and this was just the spark she needed to get the juices flowing.





133.8 (masterofgames)

Twilight and the Rainbooms were once again facing off against the Dazzlings. The unexpected bit was the amount of difficulty they were having. It was clear that this time the Dazzlings were far more powerful than normal. The sonic assault from the three of them were able to match the strength of the Avatar of Harmony.

That changed when a tail slap to the back of Sonata and Aria's heads got their attention. Adagio gave them a glare and a head tilt upwards, receiving reluctant nods in return. Swimming through the air, but keeping up the attack, they repositioned themselves higher up, granting two advantages as the Avatar followed them with its' attack. Now, if the Avatar won, their human bodies wouldn't be hit, and if they did win, their attack would continue on and smash into the Rainbooms.

So naturally, this was when Adagio gave the signal to hit the high note.

Twilight could only watch with her jaw hanging open as she saw the Avatar losing ground. It wasn't until Sunset facepalmed with a loud slap that she snapped out of it. "Of course! They can reinforce their attack all they want, but ours has a finite amount of energy since we lost the connection to refill it!" Sunset leaned away from the other unawake members of the Rainbooms. "Think Dragonball! It's the reason beam attacks are usually stronger than ball attacks if the two struggle for more than a few seconds!" she hissed out of the corner of her mouth, making Twilight's eyes widen in realization.

And it was mere seconds later that the Avatar ran out of power and vanished. Twilight crossed her arms in front of her as she shouted to the others. "Brace yourselves!"

The others did so, and Sunset would have as well, if a rather unlikely person hadn't run up and grabbed the mike from her hand.

Standing tall and glaring at the Sirens, Lyra took a deep breath and let loose a high note of her own.

With the aid of the Bassmobile, it made the Dazzlings attack shatter like glass as the two forces impacted.

Aria just glared down. "Who's this little twerp?"

Lyra glanced to the others. "Twilight, Sunset, you take the other two. Without all three of them, it should be easy enough." She then grinned, looking back the the Dazzlings and cracking her knuckles. "I'll take care of my aunt Sonata."

Twilight could only blink at that, then sighed. "Did you at least deal with the local Lyra discretely?"

Lyra just grinned, subtly gesturing to the back stage. "Oh she'll be helping me." she smirked, as another Lyra emerged and started quickly rewiring the sound equipment.

Sunset winced. "You sure she'll be okay all alone?"

Lyra shook her head. "She's not the one alone. I am. I'm 100% seapony in here." she grinned, tapping her forehead.

"... Dare I ask how?" Twilight groaned.

Lyra shrugged. "It's... you know... multiple minds meets multiple bodies... turns out when I can swap around who is in who when we make physical contact. Doesn't work with shadow clones, because the mind is copied as well, but a completely separate me seems to be valid."

"How does that even work!?"

"I'dunno..."





Fingers were useful things. Twilight could see why Lyra liked them so much. Right now, they were attempting to deal with her headache. "Okay, one more time. I can't quite believe I heard what I think I did."

Lyra shrugged. "It's not so hard to understand. One of my multiple personalities has multiple personalities. The seapony me has siren instincts and powers now, though I do feed off of different energy, since only mom was a siren. Dad was just a seapony. Well... as 'just' a seapony as any seapony can be at least. That brings the grand total of me to five and a half. If you give the go-ahead, I might even be able to bring it up to six and a half, if I let the local me tag along in my head when the loop resets."

"Absolutely not!"

"Hey, not saying I wanted it either, just saying if you ever want to try and figure my head out again, it's an option."

Twilight groaned. "Ugh. Just... just go back to Equestria. I'll figure out how you keep making your glitches worse later. If you absolutely must train your siren powers, Vinyl probably has the closest thing to them, so ask her."

Meanwhile, Sunset Shimmer was looking over the three Dazzlings. Aria and Adagio were securely tied up, and Sonata was in a large cage, curled up, rocking back and forth slowly with unfocused eyes, and covered in scorch marks and soot.

Sunset just shook her head as she leaned against the cage. "You knowingly fought a seapony and weren't expecting disproportionate firepower? You get no sympathy from me."





133.9 (Gym Quirk)

Doctor Whooves made his way into Mac's Bar, exchanging polite greetings with several of the other patrons. He noted Twilight and the Element bearers gathered at a table playing Chaos. "Afternoon, ladies."

"Heya, Doc!" called back Applejack. "We'd offer to deal ya in, but we're testin' the new ten-player variant."

"I can't help but notice that there are only six of you."

"Yes. But keep in mind who designed the game," said Rarity, scowling at a mimeographed rule sheet.

"Quite." He turned to the mare behind the bar. "I'm in the mood for something slightly off the beaten track. Not too exotic, but perhaps a twist on something familiar. Do you have any suggestions?"

Berry Punch stared into the distance for a moment, then nodded. "I have a few ideas. How strong did you have in mind?"

"A mixed drink should probably do the trick."

"Right. Just a minute." She started fussing with fruit juice and crushed ice. Eventually, she presented a cocktail glass containing a pale green slush garnished with a small twig.

He took an experimental sip. "Rum...lime...with a...woody?...overtone. Well, that certainly fits 'off the beaten track'. Does it have a name?"

"That's a Hickory Daiquiri, Doc."

Groans drowned out the sound of Pinkie's giggles and Rainbow Dash's guffaws. A small storm of bar snacks bombarded the mixologist mare.