by neorenamon
"DISCORD!!" shouted all the Autobots and Autoponies as one.
"What?!" he asked, "Can't we be friends?"
"i don't know you well enough to voice an opinion," replied Optimus.
"You're the spirit of chaos," retorted Twilight, "Why in the name of Celestia's horn would you help us against the one who set you free in the first place?!"
"Normally that's quite a valid question," he replied, "But in this case, the one who freed me want to make the world as boring and dark as she is. You were right about her not letting me do what I want to do. I know enough to be sure about that even though Nightmaretron and Princess Megatron..."
"OH THAT NEVER GETS OLD!" cried Bumblebee and Sari as one.
"But that is," he retorted, "Well in spite of their assurances otherwise, I think they're going to double cross me before they're done. She claims the Elements of Harmony are just five cold inert stones..."
"Inert stones?!" asked Twilight, "I guess I really need to find that spark after all..."
"Spark?"
"I'm still not sure what that means either," she admitted.
"Well I'm sure you have a better chance with me on your side..."
"If'n we can trust ya as far as we all can throw ya," commented Apple Buster.
So Discord turned into a baseball with a face and said, "Well how far can you throw me now?"
"Y'all don't wanna know."
"Party pooper," he scolded as he changed back.
"Well why don't you prove how you're helping use by bringing us them right now?" asked Rainbow Bolt.
"For your information, Nightmaretron, Princess Mega... Stop it! Lugnut and Blitzkreig are guardian them like griffons. They'll sure try some attack against me as soon as I try anything. With the alien powers, I'm not confident that I'm immune to their effects."
"So you're scared, Discord?!"
"Prudent," he replied, "I wouldn't be here now if I wasn't more cautious the first time Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony against me, don't you know."
"That does make sense," replied Twilight.
"Who's side are you on?!" asked Rainbow Bolt.
"Celestia's side," she retorted.
"So like it or not," he replied, "I'm helping you replace Celestia. All I ask in return is that you put in a good word and not use the Elements of Harmony to put me back in that horrible statue state."
"Only if y'all promise ya ain't gonna give us a reason to," snapped Apple Buster.
"I think he's sorry for his past actions," interrupted Flutterstorm.
"Well I see one of you is ready to give me another chance," smirked Discord.
"I would too if you didn't have enough baggage from your past to sink any ship in Equestria," replied Twilight.
"As least you have to promise not to cause any wide spread chaos any more," said Rare Seeker, "and certainly no major crimes against fabulosity, dahling."
"Is that even a word?" whispered Discord as he leaned closer to Twilight.
"Yes," she replied simply.
"Funny," he replied, "No one's ever called me 'dahling' before..."
Twilight face-palmed herself.
"What?!" asked Discord innocently.
"CAN WE GET GOING?!" growled Ratchet, "THIS HUMIDITY IS KILLING MY ROTOR CUFFITIS!!"
"Everything aggravates his Rotor Cuffitis," whispered Bumblebee to Pinkie Maximus.
"I HEARD THAT!!"
"Well his ears are working well," she replied.
"Only when he wants them to," replied Bumblebee.
"I HEARD THAT TOO!!" snapped Ratchet.
"Like right now. When I needed by drive train realigned and my transformation cog tuned, he acted like he couldn't hear me for about 2 megacycles."
"You can stop talking about me like I'm not even here!"
"Do I have those things?" asked Pinkie.
"Well I don't know about the drive train, but..."
"YES you have a transformation cog!" snapped the doc-bot.
"His pallet-side manner is atrocious."
"I'm a war doctor! Not a limobot plastic surgeon!"
"What is..." asked Pinkie.
"IT'S NOT IMPORTANT!"
"He is a cranky crankshaft, isn't he?"
"I KNOW!" said Bumblebee and Sari as one.
"You probably don't even know what you just called me!" retorted Ratchet.
"Not that that's ever stopped her," sighed Twilight. Then she turned to Discord and said, "Well if you can't bring the Elements here, can you at least sneak us into the Twin Sister's Castle unnoticed."
"I thought you'd never ask," replied Discord.
"Why would you think..."
"Nothing," he replied as he rolled his eyes. They came up boxcars. Then snake-eyes. "I knew I should have never started gambling in Los Pegasus."
"When did you..."
"Oh nevermind," he replied, "It's not important right now."