//------------------------------// // The Bet // Story: The Problem With Magic // by deathtap //------------------------------// "Ha!" I laughed out loud, my voice disturbing my co-workers. "I don't really give a rats ass. I've slogged day in and out to get this project done on time, and this is the thanks I get? You're firing me for completing my job?" "Mr. Smith, these are hard times. And we feel that..." I didn't let him finish, "That I'm expendable?" "We had a vote. You were the... least wanted person. Your anti-social behavior has caused quite a stir in the workplace. Essentially, you're creating a very difficult environment for your peers. Therefore, we're asking you to leave because, even if you're good at what you do, making the workplace difficult for your peers is out of the question," The balding man replied. I had to admit, the man was keeping his cool under pressure. I could tell that he hated the thought of losing me, but creating a bad work environment meant that he'd probably lose more people. I understood the situation, but in the back of my mind I still wanted to strangle him. The company has been milking my brilliance for months! I've done almost everything the company could ever hope to achieve, and I did it for a salary that would make a nun weep. Work my way up, my ass! This was bullshit! My first thought was to damage the guy's face. Anger, you see, needed to redirected the right way. If I hit him, I'd most likely end up in jail for assault. If these assholes wanted to mess with me, I wanted to make sure that they'd regret it in every way possible. "Fine. I'll pack my things. I'll finish here today, and then I'll use the rest of my vacation and leave," I looked at the balding man, "That okay with you?" He nodded, stood up, and walked out of my cubicle. I could see the sweat dripping off the back of his head. Packing my things, I purposely did it as slow as I could. Delaying. Waiting until I was the last one in the building. When I was confident that there were no others around, I briskly walking to the IT Head's desk and proceeded to open every damned drawer. Nothing. Were they smarter than I thought? No, no way they would be. Walking over to the Administrator's desk, I shook his mouse. The fat bastard did not have a password screen. Idiot. Opening up his email application, I found the password I needed. Then, using my credit card, I snuck into the balding man's office. I moved the mouse, and was prompted to enter a password. Now, the only way I could make this work was to access the computer as my boss, so logging off and then logging back in as him was out of the question. Still, no matter what I typed, the password was wrong! Then, just out of curiosity I opened his top-drawer in order to get a clue, and to my pleasant surprise, there it was on a yellow-green post-it! His password. What an idiot! It did not take me long to transfer a huge sum of money to various charitable organizations. I would have loved to keep it all, but I didn't want to go to jail and be someone's bitch. At least this way, he wouldn't be able to get the money back without looking like a stingy asshole. Locking up, I left the building feeling rather good about myself. Revenge never tasted so sweet. "John?" A voice said from behind. I whipped around, and got into a Kung-Fu stance. It was Raj, my only friend. I hated calling him that, but so far he was the only human I didn't mind being near for longer than ten minutes. "Shit, Raj, you scared the shit out of me," I turned and unlocked the door to my car, "What are you doing here so late?" "John, I'm the emergency contact in case something happens. Something just happened. Did you just donate over thirty thousand dollars from your boss' personal account?" He looked at me, tears in his eyes. Was he really crying? What a faggot! "Yep. And I don't regret it.". "Don't you feel any remorse?" Raj asked. "Remorse? Ha! You wish," I sat down in my car seat, "Why would I feel any remorse?" "Because what you did was wrong, John. Completely wrong. You can't do that." "Cry me a river," Putting my key into the ignition, I started the engine. "John, this is serious. You could go to jail for this." "The only way I'd go to jail is if you told anyone I was here," I said, "No-one else will know." "We have security cameras all over the place, John. Everyone will know it was you by morning! Why did you do it? I just can't understand..." That pissed me off. Raj was always like this. His kindness was weak. I got out of the car, and did the only thing that I could think of. I punched his face. Hard. "Stop being such a fucking pussy, Raj! Be a man! Grow a pair!" Raj wiped his cheek from where I had hit it. He looked up at me. Those eyes. They weren't the same as before. They were definitely different. Before they were sad, disappointed. Now I saw something else, and it pissed me off more than anything else I could have imagined. Pity. Raj actually pitied me. I don't need his pity! I don't need anyone's fucking pity! I kicked him right in the jaw. Piece of shit. Raj rubbed his face, and spat out some blood, "I'm going to give you one hour, John. After that, I'm going to call the police." He didn't bother looking at me, "Good-bye, John." A part of me thought about killing him, but something stopped me. Going to jail for a couple years was one thing, going to jail for a few decades or worse was another. It was time to bargain, "Two. Give me two hours." "Fine!" he barked, "Just go. Get out of here before I change my mind." He did not need to tell me twice. As I drove off, I looked in my review mirror. He was staring after my car. I wanted to laugh at him, to tell him what a moron he was, but something inside my chest felt weird. A strange empty feeling. I could not describe it, so I did my best to ignore the feeling as I turned the corner away from that stupid piece of shit company. It took me just under an hour to get home. My shitty studio apartment above a shitty Chinese restaurant where the owner had sex with his butt-ugly staff. Most probably illegals who had to 'pay extra' to work for him. I could hear him now, grunting away in the room next to mine. I banged the wall, "Keep it down in there! I'm trying to concentrate!" I heard laughing, then something in Chinese before the grunting and moaning became louder. Whatever, it's not like I'm sticking around anyway. Packing everything I owned, including my shitty laptop into my bag, I shoved all papers into a large black plastic garbage bag, then proceeded to scrub the shit out of the studio. No evidence. Then, I closed and locked the door, breaking the key in the hole. The humping noises were escalating now. The woman sounded like a cat being drowned. I couldn't help but laugh. Outside, the rain had started to come down hard. Across the street I saw an old bum warming his hands by an old barrel-fire. Walking over, I dumped my plastic bag of papers inside. The bum looked at me, confused and quiet, then his fire roared to life, a little bigger than before. He thanked me, and I gave him the finger, telling him to get a job and to fuck off -- as one does to homeless people. He ought to be glad that I was in a hurry and did not have time to beat the shit out of him, because I would have! No, probably not. Why did I feel so angry? Jumping into my car, I sped off as fast as I could towards the outskirts of the city. Two hours had gone now, and if Raj was a man of his word, which he was, the police would have been called by now. They were probably sending squad cars over to my place. A part of me secretly wished that they'd catch that Chinese son of a bitch going at it. Poetic justice. Something in my pocket shook. My cellphone! I checked the number, it was not in my call lists or anything. So, curious, I answered it. "Hello?" "Hello, is this Mr. Smith?" "Speaking." "My name is Detective Mason. We would like to ask you a few questions regarding some unauthorized cash transfers..." He said a bunch of shit that I didn't care about before coming to the point. I let him talk. The more he talked, the further away I got, "We would like to see you down at the station." "Can I come tomorrow morning? It's raining and wet now," I lied and he knew I lied, but he had to play the game. "I'm sure you can just drive over in your car..." "I'm sure I could, but I won't. I said I'd come tomorrow," I then hung up. I had to ditch the car. Driving into a closed gas station, I drove around to the back. Then I took out one of my old socks and put it into the gas intake and let it soak for a moment before lighting it with the cigarette lighter from my car. Then, I ran. Ran as fast as I could all the while expecting to hear a resounding explosion. Nope. Nothing. There was a tiny one, much like a violent fart. The car had 'farted' into flames and the rain helped keep the glow to a minimum. Great. Now that was out of the way, I needed to get further away from the city. Trekking through the woods, I felt good about myself -- and a little smug. I had burnt all evidence of my existence, destroyed my car for fun, and was now making my way through the woods with the police force lagging behind me. Perhaps it was foolish, I might have been able to get away with a few months on prison, but I did not care. This rush, this feeling, I loved it. Plus, I was fast. Running through the woods just felt so natural. Then, something strange happened. As I walked through the trees, I felt a sudden pop. It was a strange sensation. As if you walked into a wall of air and it broke. Whatever the case, as I pushed my way through the wall something seemed to shut behind me. That left me both confused and feeling rather strange. The rain was much harder now. It pelted down violently. Seeking shelter, I ran to what looked like a large cave. Woods and caves? Something about this cave scared me. Perhaps it was the belief that a bear might have been living in there, but common sense took over. A bear this close to the city? Right. Convincing myself that getting sick and caught was far worse than maybe getting mauled by a bear that may have lived there -- how I arrived at that conclusion eluded me -- but I ventured deeper inside. As soon as I did, something under me gave way and I felt that I was falling. I fell and I fell and I fell. Then, I fell some more. My stomach was in my throat, and my throat was hoarse from all the shouting and screaming. The rush of the wind past my ears was deafening, and after a while of this I felt tired and exhausted. What was happening to me? I blacked out, I think. I'm not too sure. Snapping awake, I found myself on the ground with my back against what felt like a wall. Opposite me was this really ugly, old hag. She was mixing something. Strange, she looked vaguely familiar, where had I seen her before? She turned around, and I heard myself scream. Yes, I screamed. Like a little girl. You would to if you had seen what I saw. What cruel joke was this? Did I die and get sent to Hell, or something? The old bitch standing there was the witch from that stupid kid's show! The one about the seven dwarfs? "What. The. Fuck?" I said aloud. The old woman turned around, "So, you're awake..." "No shit. Am I dead? Did I die? Is this hell? Why are you a... a..." I couldn't say it. If I said it, I had to admit that I was bat-shit insane! "A what?" "A car... car... cartoon! Why are you a cartoon?" She was! I've seen animations before. She was not real, the colors, the shading, nothing about it was real! She was a living, breathing cartoon! "Am I high? Did I inhale poisonous vapors in this... cave?" This was no cave. It was a castle or a keep. Strange. What the hell had happened? "No, no, Mr. Smith. You see, I've been watching you. I'm somewhat of a... fan. As to why I look like this... well, there is a good explanation for that as well," Her voice was different than expected. It sounded strangely... nice? "Fan?" "You see, on your world everyone seems to have found someone for themselves. A friend, so to speak. Even people who have nopony - er - nobody still manage to somehow form new friendships with something else, such as pets or objects. But you. You're different. You've got no one and nothing. You are a... strange man, Mr Smith." "Wait, wait, wait. You've been spying on me? How? What? When? Huh?" I was confused, and a little flattered. A stalker? I had a stalker? "Don't worry your little head about it. You see, I'm not human. You can tell, can't you? But even this form is... somewhat of a lie. You see, my dear human, I'm a Changeling." "A what?" "A Changeling. I can change my body into anything that I want. Well, almost anything. I cannot seem to morph into your, shall we say 'colors'? They are too... difficult for me, it seems." "Bullshit. Changeling? You expect me to believe..." She changed her shape, "Holy shit! I believe you! What's going on? What is happening to me?" I smacked myself. Ouch. She laughed. She was now some black horse-like thing, with vampire-like teeth. I was on the verge of shitting my pants. "I am going to have to start from the beginning." She sat down on the ground, "For, for the longest time I have watched you. Your hatred for your fellow humans was what brought you to my attention. You've... made me a very happy Changeling. You've proven to be a great distraction from this..." she looked up, "prison." Whatever she looked at, I couldn't see it. "Sit. It's been a while since I've had company to talk to." So, here I was in a cave with this creature that could change into anything she wanted. Somehow I had ended up in here with her. There was no point in arguing, for all I knew she could have morphed into something big and terrible, then eat me, or she could have just munched on me with those canines. A horse with canines... that is a cartoon. I had to pinch myself to remind me that this wasn't a dream. "A few years ago in your world a strange event took place. An individual from my world did something that, along with other combined factors -- most of which I cannot explain to you so I wont -- forced your world and mine to merge for a moment. In that moment, a being from my world came here," she looked at me, "A man managed to find her, a human like yourself, and raised her as his daughter..." "Wait, wait, wait. A human brought up a cartoon? How the hell did he not get caught?" I scratched my head, "How long ago?" "He did not get caught because he understood the risk if she were to be discovered. He cared for her dearly and as a result of his kindness, I learnt compassion. For fifteen of your years I watched him bring her up, and for fifteen years with nothing but the love between them to see... well, let's just say from a cold-hearted monster I've warmed up quite a bit. I could tell that he was as miserable as you are now, only he knew it. He understood his loneliness and hated it. You, on the other hand, don't. While I watched them for amusement, I watched you for nourishment." She grinned at me when she said that. My spine tingled. "I'm not miserable! I'm perfectly happy!" "You might think you are, but I know the truth. That is why I brought you here. You see, you're the perfect candidate for a little... experiment." "You brought me here?" Now I was not only scared, but skeptical. Could this day get any worse? Prison started sounding like a pretty damn good idea now. "Your world does not have magic inherent within it. I can only use magic close to certain points. You approached one such point after I... coaxed you. I can use magic to influence certain things on your world, but only very subtly, but it seemed that fate decided to bring you to me." "So... you're going to experiment on me? Can I just go to prison instead?" She ignored my last question, "As I was saying, I'm stuck between the two worlds, have been since that time years ago, and probably always will remain. A prison of my own choosing... but you, you have no restrictions. You have no friends that will miss you, no family that will care about you. You have a unique circumstance that makes you able to pass from your world without issue," The Changeling grinned, her teeth glinting in the light, "and I've somewhat become attached to you." That was a scary thought. I gulped out of reflex. "How? Why?" I knew the answer to the latter. For some reason she became attached to me because of my loneliness and hatred for people, but I did not care! Who gives a shit if I liked being alone? "You know, I see a lot of him in you." "Who?" What was this crazy bitch talking about? "You'll find out. That is, if you care to take a little bet with me." "A bet?" "Yes. Since I cannot leave here, and you can, and since you don't mind being alone, my bet is this; find out the true meaning of friendship and if you can't you will stay here with me. Forever," the Changeling grinned, "If you find friendship, I will let you go. You can go back to your sad little life running from the law." "That doesn't seem too difficult... what's the catch?" "You see, there's something about us Changelings you should know. Usually we feed off the good feelings, such as happiness and joy, and strongest of all, love. All that changed that fateful day years ago. Let me ask you, have you ever seen the show 'My Little Ponies'?" "That kids show? Yes. Wait, no. I've not seen it, I know of it... Why? Wait, I'm confused... what's that got to do with happiness and shit? And more importantly: what's all of this got to do with me?" "Well, that's where I'm from. That world. I'm from that show." "Bullshit! You're telling me that there's a real world out there with these ponies running around?" And yet here I was talking to a black, green-eyed pony-monster thing calling herself a Changeling. I groaned, "My brain is broken, isn't it?" "No. It's not. You see, when the event took place all those years ago, there was a danger that the two realities would collide causing a cataclysmic reaction that would destroy both worlds. This was because the human and the other protagonist, a certain cyan colored Pegasus," she saw the look on my face and smiled, "Well, let's just say they had difficult choices to make, and in the end he sacrificed everything for her." "He died?" "No, he lived. You see, John... do you mind me calling you John?" I shook my head. She could call me whatever she wanted. She was the boss. "Good. You see, John, when she -- the Pegasus pony I was talking about -- went back to my world, she was forced to close the portal between the two realities. This was a difficult decision as it would forbid them from every meeting one another ever again." "Was the man her lover?" "No. The man raised her up as his daughter. It didn't matter to him that she was another species, let alone a... character from a children's show, he still brought her up as he would his own daughter. And he loved her with every thing he had. Still does, in fact," The Changeling walked over to what looked like a kitchen and poured herself something that smelt a lot like tea from something that looked like a teapot. While she was doing this, I noticed that her head had a horn like that of a rhino. The realization kicked me hard in the face, "You're a unicorn?" I didn't notice it before because she was facing right at me, and with the lighting, or lack thereof, in that castle-like place (I still had no idea where I was), I couldn't see it. "No. I'm a Changeling," she replied without even the slightest hint that my question should have been ridiculous from the start, "Now where was I? Oh, where are my manners? Do you want some tea?" "Not from you." She gave me a stern look. " I mean, no thank you, ma'am." I grinned and made a mental note to be extra polite to the scary lady-pony thingy." "As I was saying, the man chose his new life over the old. Although he did have a few regrets, the fact that he could be with his adopted daughter was enough to cancel them out. When the choice was made, the portals closed and all was happy and fine -- but you see, magic isn't so clean cut as that. It was not the all-powerful Celestia who closed the portals, or her councils, nor her best student, or the Pegasus," she looked me in the eyes and smiled. Again, those teeth! "I did. I closed them as much as they could be closed." "Celestria? What's that?" "Not what, who. She is a... god-like creature from my world. She's an incredibly strong Unicorn, far more powerful than me. She had enough power to rip through the two worlds when she found out the correct spells to manipulate. Of course, she couldn't have done it without me. The strange thing is that, I think that the Princess has been to Earth before, your Earth." "Information overload," I muttered, "I am trying to understand what you're talking about, I want to, but to be honest, I have no fucking clue. I don't get it. So, this super-Unicorn," she gave me a look, "Just bare with me, okay? This super-Unicorn named Celestria..." "Celestia. Like Celestial, without the last 'l'. You're not dumb, John, just completely clueless." As much as I wanted to punch her, I knew that she'd probably have the ability to beat me senseless, so I just continued, "Okay, so super-Unicorn Celestia came from the cartoon world and into this one, the real one, to take back some blue-colored cartoon Pegasus and take them back to her world, where they both originally came from. Am I right so far?" The Changeling nodded. "Then her dad, this human male, went to other world, and now they live there together?" The Changeling again nodded. "That's great! That's fan-fucking-tastic! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it!" I exclaimed sarcastically, "But what has any of that shit got to do with me?" "I'm just explaining how I came to be here." The Changeling sniffed, "You see, I've become a guardian of sorts. Celestia... or Princess Celestia, as she is called in my world, isn't as all-powerful as she thinks she is. She is strong, but only in certain types of magic. In others, she's as clueless as... you. And that's saying something." "I have a bad feeling where this is going," I muttered to myself, "So you're guarding the bridge between the two worlds?" Yeah, I've played enough online fantasy games to know the lingo. "Oh yes and I've taken my duties rather seriously. I can go back to my world, but if I did, I'd die. As I was saying, I've become something of an anomaly. I've changed." "Fancy that... a Changeling that changes..." If she heard me, she completely ignored it, "Before, I fed of love, and happiness. I was actually near a town called Ponyville feeding on the happy feelings of the ponies there when this magical anomaly took place. Some sort of explosion that I got caught up in. The shock wave propelled me, along with the Pegasus, into our respective realities. While she broke through to your world, I never completely crossed and I found that I was stuck in between. Outside both realities. Over time I found that I no longer hungered for good and happy feelings. It tasted disgusting to me." She made a face, "But I was starving, so in desperation I sought out sadness, anger, and most of all, hate. The spell had changed me. Now because I eat these feelings instead, I've began to feel rather 'good' for the most part. I no longer want to consume the happy feelings of the ponies, but I the malice and hatred from your world. There is plenty of it there." "You were evil before?" I asked not really giving a shit about people. "Not evil, just bad, I guess. You have to understand, Changelings are a part of a swarm, a type of hive-mind in some ways. I did not really have any individual thought apart from finding nourishment. After I was brought here, my link to the swarm was broken. Anyway, I'm much friendlier now, but because of my newly acquired appetite, cannot return to my world." She looked at me, "There isn't much sadness or hate there. I'd starve to death." "Couldn't you just leave here, go there, and return when you get hungry?" "There is no way to enter here from either side, unless someone here opens a way. Let's just say this is a prison of my own device. I cannot survive in your world, and I cannot survive in mine. Therefore, I stay here. In this limbo." "Good for you," I clapped a few times. She gave me a stern look. I have got to stop doing that. "Now onto the conditions of our little bet. The first is, you have one month to understand the true meaning of friendship. Not just an acquaintance, I mean a true, deep understanding of what a true friend is. Two, you cannot tell anyone you're human. Not a soul. Trust me, I'll know. If someone happens to guess, you might run into a few, it's your job to convince them otherwise, else you lose the bet. I'll be watching you and those that know you, so be warned. Three, you cannot harm a pony, or Changeling at all. You cannot harm anyone. Doing so would incur the wrath of Celestia, and that's the last thing you'd want." "Three conditions? Find the true meaning of friendship, no one can know I'm a human, and I cannot hurt any pony... wait! You don't mean... you can't mean... you aren't going to..." "Oh, that's right, I forgot to mention, you're going to my world. Not yours." And that was the catch. I wanted to kick myself, but if I didn't accept, I'd be stuck with her here. For a moment, I contemplated it. Really, I did. A part of me wanted to stay, but the rest of me screamed that I ought to get the fuck out of there ASAP! "Wouldn't me being a human be... obvious?" She grinned, "Oh, that's easily remedied." "You're going to do something to me, right?" "Uh-huh." "You're going to change me into a pony, right?" "That's correct." "I can't help but notice that I've had zero choice in the matter." "Oh, don't worry. Since Celestia had closed this world off, I've been able to regulate the time between the two worlds. While five years have passed in my world, your world has only gone by one year. When you return, I can put you back right where you left off. You will have literally been gone hours from your reality. So, don't worry." "Oh? Do I look worried about the passage of the fucking time? Perhaps your confusing my expression with pure, abject horror." I wanted to cry, "I don't want to be a pony!" "I'm afraid that it has to be so. If Celestia sees a human, she will know that the two worlds aren't completely separated, and nothing in both my world nor yours can pry it apart anymore than what has been already done. So, what will it be, John. Will you stay with me or continue this bet. Those are your choices," the Changeling took another long sip from her cup of tea, and stared at me. "I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but... I will go... to your world. No offense, but you scare the shit out of me." She put the cut of tea down using her magic, or what seemed to be magic. Every time she did something her horn would glow green, so I assumed it was magic. She walked over to me, and placed her horn on my head. "This is going to hurt. A lot." And what happened next was not a lie. It hurt. A lot. I felt my body go into throes of convulsions. My back twisted and turned as if someone had forced it to break in half. My hands forced themselves into fists, and then from fists into what looked to be hooves, but not really hooves, were they? I don't know! For the next minute or two the pain continued as every inch of my body yearned for it to stop. Then, when it was all done, I tried to stand up. I could do it. But it felt... weird. I plopped down on my hands and... hey, this was comfortable. What? Why? "There. You're now a pony." "You've got to be kidding me!" I said, but there I was, I could see myself in the mirror that she had brought over. I wanted to cry again. "Not bad. I've made you an Earth Pony, I think you'd cause way too much suspicion as a Pegasus or a Unicorn, considering you've never flown nor done magic." "I've also never been a Pony. But, thanks for your concern I guess, although having magic does seem convenient. Do I have to put up with that agony again in a month's time?" "Unless you want to stay a pony, yes." I sighed. What else could I do? Magical black-dangerous-looking-pony-Changeling was too badass for me, "Fuck it. Let's get this over and done with." "Oh, and another thing, an addition to our agreement. No swearing. I won't be strict on that one, but you will refrain from being too explicit in your language, understood? Your... Earth-speak could lead you to breaking the second terms of our agreement." "Fine, fine. No swearing. Give me a second." For the next twenty or thirty seconds, I said as many profane and disturbing words as possible. To get it out of my system. After my tirade, the Changeling nodded, "I'm going to open a portal now. I'll be dropping you off near the rim of a very, very dangerous forest near the town of Ponyville. When you step through the portal, you'll be on your own." "Fine. Wait, did you say dangerous forest? Dangerous? Hey!" But it was too late and I felt my body get sucked through something, almost like a hole. Damn that Changeling bitch! I didn't even get her damned name!