Special thanks to kiwipoo and Chrono for their amazing help.
At first it seemed nothing was happening. Several centuries worth of trial and error, and when they finally make some progress, nothing happens. The medical lab continued on sending reels of scans and readings into the observation room their scratching along with the other machines created the only background to the growing awkward silence.The small space was made smaller by the machines which beeped and chimed their nonsense tune, casting multicolored lights around the white walled room as well as the giant two-way mirror, it’s gleaming surface reflecting both the lights and the four ponies inside. The teal unicorn at the center looked around and knew something was wrong. What had we done wrong, the equipment is functioning and the spell should have worked.
Then from one of the machines came a bright flash, and the blinding light shrank and compressed, almost moving like water as it formed a whirlpool of green light. Something at the center of it moved, and with it so did the vortex, positioning itself above the now unconscious unicorn. The once pristine white walls of the medical lab began to crack as pulses of power came from it, threatening to make them buckle. The four ponies inside, however, were in no condition to do anything about it. Despite the waves of pressure crashing equipment into the walls, the ponies were being drawn inward to the eye of the storm. Sparks flew and shards of glass and circuitry embedded themselves into the wall. The growing vortex within the room glowed brighter as the ponies inside became weaker, but soon it wasn’t just the ponies inside being drained. Behind the mirror of the observation room the princesses and several others felt the effects.
Despite her knees growing too weak to hold herself up Twilight Sparkle tried to cast a spell to shield all those in the observation room, but as the spell formed it’s essence was torn away and absorbed into the growing mass. Her reservoir of magic was slipping even faster, the more she tried to resist the more it flowed out of her.
“Princess, what’s happening?” She gasped, while trying to concentrate enough to form another shield.
Even the few times had Princess Celestia felt such fear and unknowing, nothing in before had prepared the princess for this moment. She looked over to her sister. She, like the others could barely muster the strength to stand. The swirling mass of the vortex seemed to suck everything they had, everypony, even the earth ponies Braeburn and Beaker seemed to be barely maintaining consciousness. She tried to join forces with Twilight to make a barrier but it was futile, whatever this thing was it just took their magic away faster than it could form.
Beaker just silently cursed himself for his mistake, and hoped that his boss was okay. The last he saw was her motionless body at the center of the phenomenon. “Please be okay….” He said through gritted teeth before fading into unconsciousness.
Several days earlier:
For centuries, the scientists of the Equestrian Advanced Science and Magic Research facility has been trying to answer one elusive question: “How the hay do we make an Alicorn?” She turned and asked her assistant, causing her lab coat to catch on her chair, popping off one of its buttons. This drew even further frustration to the teal unicorn, whose eyes were bloodshot from the overuse of coffee over sleep.
“Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…” before her yellow earth pony assistant could finish the teal scientist stuffed her hoof in his mouth.
“That’s exactly the problem, we have two mommies and no daddies,” she said as she removed her glasses and started to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes with her free hoof. The familiarity of their little routine brought little comfort.
“Maybe one of them could turn into a colt…” he mumbled past her hoof.
The doctor turned her bloodshot eyes towards her assistant removing her hoof from his mouth while giving him a glare he had slowly become accustomed to.
“Ok, one that wouldn’t work, two gross, three they're sisters so double gross, and four I told you stop reading those clop stories, they are rotting what little brain you have left.”
“Well, how about we just splice together unicorn and Pegasus DNA?” he queried. He knew exactly where this conversation was going, just like it did many times before, whenever she had a mental block. Acting as a sounding board for his boss wasn’t all that bad though, it allowed him to get some work done as well as comfort her in a way, although he did not enjoy the verbal abuse.
“Been tried, and you either end up with a unicorn or pegasus, plus it takes a lot of paperwork to make sure they end up with good families which costs a lot of bits. We can’t afford any more failures” she sighed leaning back in her chair, silently thinking about her cousin who also sat like her back home. "Maybe it’s genetic?" She thought.
“Unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies mate with each other all the time but still end up with one of the three, sometimes they aren’t even the same as their parent’s because their great, great grandfather was a unicorn or something” she continued. Even her own family was given a surprise from that. In a family of all unicorns, her uncle almost left her aunt when she gave birth to a earth pony. Thankfully a family tree and a quick lecture from their doctor cleared that up before lawyers and divorce papers became involved.
She thought back to the last few years since she became the head of the program, and thought of the hundreds that came before her, exhausting almost every possibility both magical and scientific. What is it we are doing wrong?
Beaker looked up from the centrifuge he was fiddling with and said, “Too bad you couldn’t have three parents; then you really could be anything.” A small spark from the finicky device singed his hoof, making him recoil. “Although it would be weird to have two dads and a mom, or two moms and a dad, or three moms, or even three dads. Man, magical conception makes it really confusing nowadays.”
“Wait, what did you say?” asked the unicorn. The new line threw her off, but more importantly her mind clicked as a new thought lit up.
“What? Too bad that you can’t have three parents?” her assistant replied. At this his bosses expression turned from one of frustration to of deep thought, as her eyes stared intently at the hooves propping her face up.
“No the other… wait, yes that part and also the magic conception thing,” she said as her mind raced. Magic surrounded a seemingly random selection of books, causing each to fly off and take a place floating in front of her.
“Okay, we know that magical conception works similarly to regular conception in that the child is made up of equal parts of both parent’s but that the gender is predetermined if it’s a same sex couple, you know two males make a male and so on and so on,” she stated, quoting from one of the textbooks in front of her.
Pulling out one of the large test tubes from the centrifuge, Beaker popped the top off, and drank the contents. “Sure,” he said, wiping dark foam from his muzzle.
“So if we can just set up a new spell that will do the same job as the regular conception spell but for three and use an earth, unicorn, and pegasus pony we might just be able to throw enough of a monkey wrench into the works that at least something interesting will come out,” Her assistant started to slowly back away as it became painfully obvious that she had gone off the deep end.
As the moon began to set and the sun was being slowly raised the teal scientist woke up with the bitter taste of old coffee and keyboard imprints all over her face. She smacked her lips trying to remove the offending flavor, when she realized that she did more than rest her eyes. “Wait, what time is it? Ohh no! I gotta give my report to Princess Luna before she falls asleep for the day.”
Normally she would have given her report to Celestia, but after Luna’s return all of the research departments moved under her control. Dr. Heartstrings did not mind, she rarely saw Celestia when she controlled things, and nothing seemed to change with Luna.
“Ooooh! I bet she is going to be excited, soon she is going to have a new brother or sister!”
The teal unicorn quickly trotted the short distance between the university and the castle, only occasionally getting lost in the labyrinthine hallways. After a few dead ends, she found her way to Luna’s night court, ready to give her report, before being cut off by the royal guard. Presenting her papers the guard gave a curt nod to her and to the royal announcer. The announcer quickly went into the court, leaving the doctor and the guard, waiting patiently.
Inside the announcer told Luna of the visitor, and with a sigh Luna agreed to the meeting, sending the announcer back out to retrieve the scientist.
Luna was desperately tired, and wanted nothing better than to get to bed and get good day’s sleep. The last few weeks were a blur of paperwork and project summaries, and despite Celestia’s pleading, Luna tried to catch up to them all right away. Despite this manic game of catching up to a thousand years of scientific and magical research she had yet to even truly skim one of the biggest ones. Even with her thirst of knowledge the mountain of papers, charts, and other files was intimidating. She only glanced warily at the first few pages hoping it would be enough.
Unfortunately for her, the head of that program decided now was a good time to give a report and was on her way now. What was it about again? She knew it had something to do with genetics, but the program was really old; it even existed before the discovery of the pony genome, so it couldn’t be something simple. Maybe it was something about why ponies come in all sorts of colors, that was something that always interested her, or maybe if genetics has something to do with cutie marks. That would interest those “Cutie Mark Crusaders”, although it would probably go over their heads. Before she could further speculate the scientist in question was escorted into the courtroom.
“Hello ummm?” she seemed familiar but she couldn’t quite place her.
Despite the few times she met with Princess Celestia, the teal pony could not help but lightly shuffle her hooves in anxiety on meeting Luna for the first time. “Dr. Heartstrings your majesty."
“You wouldn’t happen to be related to Lyra Heartstrings?” Luna said thinking back to the wonderful musician that played during her return.
“She’s my cousin. Yes, I get that a lot. We both have a way of sticking out of the crowd,” she replied, hoping the small talk would calm her down.
Luna didn’t really understand what she meant by this but was becoming more and more impatient to find out what this pony was here for so she could get to sleep. She cleared her throat to hurry the teal scientist along.
“Ohhh! Yes, umm, I am happy to report that we have made a little headway into the breeding program,” She said as she looked expectantly at the princess. “Hmmn? I wonder what she is thinking.”
Luna couldn’t help but choke a little bit. "Was there some sort of population problem she wasn’t aware of?" she thought.
Dr. Heartstrings took the gasp as a need for clarification.
“Well, it’s not so much as a breakthrough but a theory, a good theory mind you, on how to circumnavigate the problems we had in the past.” Her nervousness lightened as she thought of her wonderful plan, and how happy it would make the lunar princess.
This response did little to clear the many possible scenarios that were now circling Luna’s mind. Had fertility rates plummeted over the last few centuries? Was this the reason there were so few males? Is there some kind of prevalent birth defect? She knew that the program had the 3rd largest budget of all the research programs. Only the space program and applied medicine received more, one for the sheer size of the infrastructure needed and the other because it was so vital.
“So what theory have you come up with?” Luna didn’t wish to admit to be so oblivious to a possible civilization crushing problem, hoping the explanation might tell her what she needed to know.
“Well, as you know the program started almost 700 years ago by your sister, back then we relied exclusively on magic. But in the last century or so we started to approach the problem from a scientific angle. Well, with some help with magic where technology hasn’t advanced enough. In that time we have had almost 2,300 failures. But don’t worry they all ended up in loving homes and lived happy lives, actually one of them happened to be my great, great, great grandfather” She said as her chest swelled with pride. She looked on to the princess and noticed her look of apprehension, maybe she shouldn’t of told her about all of the failures?
The sheer strain of the confusion was almost too much to bear. How could you breed so many ponies and be considered a failing, so that scratches the under population theory. Maybe they failed to make a pony resistant to a certain disease or birth defect; no would they really allow a pony that failed an experiment like that breed? Is this a military program and they were trying to create a super soldier? I think I read something about a Captain Equestria. Ohh crap! She’s staring!
“So what is different about this new method?” she quickly asked hoping the solution would answer her question.
“Well, we are going to make use of a conception spell that’s been modified for three ponies….” She began to explain, before being introduced to the traditional Canterlot volume.
“CONC--EPtion-- thhh--- three ponies?” she stuttered loudly. Stained glass windows quivered in their moors at her booming yet distraught voice.
Dr. Heartstrings was forced back, hitting the gigantic door of the courtroom. The sudden boom not only knocked the wind from her lungs but also left a noticeable ring in her ears. Not wanting to seem unprofessional she walked back up to the throne, and continued, “Ahem! A conception spell is a spell that works a lot like regular breeding, but is for pony couples that normally couldn’t breed with each other. You know like if there is some kind of injury, or same sex couples,” Dr. Heartstrings was glad she thoroughly read up on the subject before hoof. It would be terrible if she had forgotten due to a silly thing like being blasted by a monarch.
“But, -- but why three ponies?!” Luna barely hoarsely shouted.
Heartstrings kept her guard up and wrapped her arms around her head in case of another vocal onslaught. “Well, we need a pegasus and a unicorn for the desired traits, and we believe that the latent magic or qualities of earth ponies will catalyze the whole thing.”
Sleep was now the last thing on the moon princess’s mind. Her imagination could no longer even come up with an explanation. She was going to have to just go ahead and admit she had no idea what was going on.
“So, do you want a brother or a sister?” Dr. Heartstrings said beaming.
Luna’s body wasn’t sure whether to shriek, gasp or faint.
Thump… I guess the latter.
A few hours later:
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“Luna… Luna are you okay?” The sun regent lovingly if uncomfortably hovered over her sister.
“Ohhh Celly we had the weirdest dream, some Dr. was rambling about experiments, and said something about brothers and sisters,” she said reverting to old mannerisms.
“I know” Celestia showed the slightest bit of a blush.
“Wait how did you know, did you read my mind while I was dreaming.”
She was now alert enough to take in her surroundings and remember the more modern speech. She appeared to be in Celestia’s room, she would sometimes sneak into her room and lay with her sister during dusk, so they could spend some time together before breakfast. Celestia even after a year of splitting the royal duties with her sister still suffered from a millennium of overwork and slept every night. With each passing day and with the efficient help and support of Luna, the sun monarch slowly regained her vitality.
Luna’s attention turned back to her sister as Celestia said, “No I didn’t read your mind; it’s just that it really happened.”
“What happened? Nothing happened, it was all just a weird, dream!” Luna half heartily denied.
Celestia bent down and gently nuzzled the frantic moon princess. “Ms. Heartstrings’ little announcement, it was real, apparently she came up with a way to make us a new sibling,” Celestia playfully continued to nuzzle her sister as she said this.
For a second Luna looked almost as pale as her sister before turning back to hear royal indigo with a noticeable blush.
“I think I owe you a little explanation don’t I?”
The still stunned look of Luna was all the answer Celestia needed. She lightly coughed into her hoof, ready to tell her story; one that she hoped to never tell Luna.
“Well soon after you were banished, a soothsayer told the prophecy of your return. She said it would be exactly 1,000 years before you would return, and even then you would still be corrupted by Nightmare moon, but it was a chance to get you back and I promised myself to wait and endure until that day." Celestia looked out the window at the rising sun, a forlorn look in stark contrast to the vibrant colors of the morning sky. She continued with a faraway look, a tear slowly rolling down her cheek, "But after 300 years of seeing friends come and go without anyone I could trust to still be there in a blink of times eye.”
Tears were no longer slowly flowing, but began to create a downpour, her eyes no longer the peaceful pool Luna was used to but instead were replaced by seas of emotion; she clutched Luna in a loving embrace.
“I was so lonely, my own grandchildren where only paintings in museums, just as vulnerable to the passage of time as any other pony. So I asked the Magical University to start a project, I got them anything they needed, I even started trading routes with kingdoms on the other side of the world to get them any materials they might need. I drained almost the entire royal treasury at one point when I thought they were getting close. All of this so I could have somepony to be with, to make the passage of time a little more bearable.”
Luna remembered the paintings of the royal family, she knew of them as they were brought to her attention by the all too real Prince Blueblood. Having never known any of them she had no real feelings, especially since many were so distantly related to her at this point that it was virtually nonresistant except in title. Now though, the fact they were real and they meant something to her sister struck her deeply.
Luna looked at her sister in a new light, she was just as beautiful as she was a thousand years ago, but in the way she held herself you could see the signs of time. Luna herself lived that same time but she slept through much of it, only occasionally looking at the Equestria above her from her prison and even then she had Nightmare Moon to company her even if she was a magical split personality.
“As time went by I found other ways to comfort myself, playing tricks, making all of the guards look the same so I can pretend they are the same guards that have long since passed. I always held hope that I would soon have a new sibling, maybe an entire family to welcome you home with.” Celestia laughed a little while even Luna smiled a little at this notion, even if she was a bit miffed at the thought of being replaced.
“The centuries started to tick down, but as they did I became lonelier, even when I knew that it would only be another 50 years I just let the program go on, partially from hope and at least publicly for its benefits to modern medicine.” Then she turned away from her sister, shame and remorse written on her face.
“Then I met Twilight, she reminded me so much of you that I spent every moment I could with her under the guise of teaching her. She helped me forget about the whole thing and I just let it continue, with no real point in shutting it down, it was beneficial but unlikely to ever succeed in its original goal.”
“Then you returned and thankfully the Elements in full strength were able to free you instead of banishing you again. I at this point completely forgot about it until recently, when Ms. Heartstrings told you about her current theory.”
Celestia couldn’t bear to look at her sister, all of the sadness, regret, and shame mixing together. She knew it was better to come out and tell the truth though, especially since the doctor would eventually explain things in full, that and the project was available to anypony in public records and Luna would seek them out eventually. She just hoped Luna would be able to forgive her.
“Lu Lu, now that your back what do you think? Do you want to shut it down” Celestia asked, lying side by side with her sister.
“No,” Luna replied, short and decisively.
Celestia looked at her, seeing the look of determination in Luna’s face.
“Really?” Celestia asked.
Celestia was not only surprised in her answer but in how Luna now held her tighter than ever, still loving her despite her many mistakes.
“It would be nice to be a big sister, plus I don’t want to let… wait let me check.” Luna pulled an abacus out of thin air. She flicked the beads, the rhythmic clacking filling the room until it was interrupted by a small gasp from Luna. “To waste approximately 12 BILLION BITS!!!, Not including inflation, and all of the setup involved” She said.
“Wow, I never really tried to add it all up before, but that really isn’t much for a program that’s 700 years old,” Celestia replied, taping her chin in contemplation.
“That’s for the last 200,” Luna said, nonplussed.
“OOoooooh! I guess I got a little carried away.”
“I can’t wait to meet my little brother!”
“Or sister Lu Lu,” Celestia said, bumping gently against her sister.
“No brother, and that’s final!” Luna crossed her front legs over her chest in mock defiance.
“Ok, little brother,” Celestia threw a sheepish grin at her adorable sister.
They gently hugged once more and went together for a long overdue breakfast, throwing possible names back and forth. After breakfast Luna returned to the courtroom to find the teal unicorn still standing, exactly where she left her.
"I am so glad you’re alright Princess Luna, were you sick?" asked Dr. Heartstrings, who was still was a little confused on why the princess of the night passed out in the middle of her report, secretly hoping it was because she was so happy about the progress being made.
"I am quite alright, I just haven't been sleeping enough, trying to get caught up with all of the changes made, and I am sorry I really had no idea what it was your program did" Luna said, her earlier determination waning somewhat.
Dr. Heartstrings suddenly felt a huge lump in her chest. Her mind was reeling at this. She didn't know... does that mean she doesn't even care? Maybe she is going to pull the plug; I'm going to live on the streets. Wait I won't survive without this job I don't have anyone to take me in like Lyra does, wait Lyra she could... no I couldn't impose they have a foal of their own on the way.
"So when can you get started" Luna said. She could tell something was distressing the teal unicorn.
"Wait what? You want to actually go through with it Your Majesty?" Heartstrings asked, confusion quickly giving way to excitement.
"Yes as soon as possible, and by the way I would like the foal to be a colt, if that's not too much"
The teal scientist felt the lump in her chest disappear. Yes now I don't have to worry about becoming a hobo with a PhD. “Well we still have to set everything up and procure some test subjects and find somepony willing to carry the foal to term, and we will also need some DNA sample from you and your sister but we can almost guarantee the gender”
“Wait I thought that we were going to use 3 ponies for this? Why would you need my DNA?”
“The plan is to take a few genes from you and Princess Celestia and add it to a virus, the virus then randomly injects the traits into the embryo giving it some of you and your sister's traits, like maybe eye or coat color, since we aren't entirely sure what does what yet we are kind of winging it."
After a few more minutes of explaining the process in greater detail Luna bid farewell to Dr. Heartstrings to get a few more hours sleep before sunset.
Back at the EASM dept., Beaker, Dr. Heartstrings' yellow earth pony assistant was cleaning everything up and readying his invention for the experiment. It took him 3 years and more than a few electrical shocks but it was finally ready for the big leagues. He decided on his own that modifying the conception spell alone for three ponies wouldn't work especially if they wanted to combine it with the Princesses' DNA. Now to just sneak this into the medical ward and install it among the hundred other doodads so it doesn't draw suspicion.
"Cue the sneaking music" "Dun dun da na dun da na dun" He quickly snuck "Is that even a word?" through the empty hallway, past the nonexistent guards, picked the unlocked door, all completely silent save for his poorly tuned theme music... "NA NA NAAAAAaaaaa"
After finishing installing the device into the side of a, a, well he wasn't entirely sure what it was, half the gizmo's in here do the exact same thing so it doesn't really matter.
Congratulating himself on another covert job well done he decided to reward himself. "Dr. Ninja is in need of tacos"
Returning from his successful mission and procuring his meal, he was confronted by his teacher and taskmaster.
"Alright Beaker, we need to round up some test subjects, remember we are going for a colt so we are going to need 3 male ponies." The teal scientist pulled off her lab coat and donned a khaki jacket and safari hat, quickly checking the mirror to note how awesome she looked.
The mirror being an entirely inanimate object said nothing, but if it could it would have said something along these lines "I must be some kind of sexy beast, cause all the fillies be checking me out, like all the time." Thankfully the mirror was entirely without conscience thought because there was already too much ego in the room already with the teal unicorn's waggling eyebrow at her own reflection.
"Get out the volunteer bat, and welcome net we are going hunting!" She said snapping back from her vanity.
As beaker was pulling out said bat from the closet of other "Incentives", he paused and spat it out. "What about a filly to actually give birth?"
"Ohh I will be the one to carry, so we don't have to worry" She said calmly, as different weapons and tools floated into her own personal bag.
"Well that's nice it would be a pain to drag four...." "Wait what?!?"
Due to Beaker's years of experimenting and being experimented on he knew from time to time his brain would go funny and make him see and hear all sorts of crazy things, like the time he thought he saw a weird, red, bipedal creature come out of nowhere and steal his taco yesterday. He really wanted that taco too, he thought stifling a tear.
He did a double take, hoping that he heard her wrong. "Ummm did you say you would do it?"
"Yes is there a problem with that?" She asked.
"No but umm. Why would you do it, I mean isn't that a little bit much? What if it doesn't work, you would have gone through all of that work for nothing" he said further shrinking from the now obviously mad mare.
With that the kind doctor used her magic to pull out the "Unruly assistant," cattle prod and give him a good shock. The room filled with the smell of singed hair, as the yellow earth pony shot up into the ceiling from the sudden electrical attack.
"Well unlike you I have complete faith in my theory, and when we succeed I will cement my place in science as the LITERAL mother of a new science and a GOD!" Her pupils shrank as her toothy grin grew and let out a menacing laugh that rang around the room. Lightning and thunder struck outside the laboratory, too bad there were no windows, outside a few ponies looked up at the cloudless sky and wondered what the hay was going on. "Now come on Beaker, Mommy needs some test subjects!" She said as she trotted out of the lab, carefully carrying a small arsenal of weapons herself,
"Coming Ma’am" he said as he picked up a golf bag filled with his various incentives needed for this venture.