//------------------------------// // 9 - Had // Story: Just Roll With It: Kayla-verse // by sunnypack //------------------------------// Chapter 9: Had At Luna's and Celestia's and a little of Discord's insistence, Star Swirl elected to finally go looking for the node himself. The core should be somewhere in this landscape, given that Luna was here. Initially he had wanted to stick around and wait for Tempora to catch up. It was dangerous to travel it alone especially in a mind that wasn't familiar. Star Swirl had a vague idea that they were in an ordered section of Max's mind given the consistency of the environment. Probably the long-term memory or the logical decision-making part. With a grunt he dismissed all of the spells surrounding them. Hopefully Tempora had made it to a core and would be able to sense where they were. If not, it seems Princess Luna would have to take the reins from here. He shivered at the morbid phrasing. Though he wasn't the greatest with kids, he still felt a little heartache at the thought of those playful foals falling into trouble. He got the feeling though, that destiny may have other plans for them. –––––– Tempora struggled with the core. It resisted her efforts, only showing her some basic information. There was a skein of magic woven around it. Magic was a discipline of rigorous application and accuracy. To affect the world around them on had to know the bare minimum to move from cause to effect. To levitate was relatively simple, lift with air pressure, or provide upwards vectors resisting gravity. Simple. Dream-walking was like looking into one of Max's complex machines with millions of moving parts. Without a mapping or some sort of familiarity with the contents, it was hard to navigate through the tangled mess of the mind. Sure there were similarities, like cogs and gears are similar between machines, but the teeth could be different, the size, the shape, the aesthetics, the list could go on. With these sorts of situations there was an element of feeling required. Like reaching deep within yourself and trying to connect on a visceral level. She could feel the wrongness snarled around Max. There was a thin weave around the core, skeins of dark magic that pulsed and made her feel sick to even probe. She tried everything to remove it. She tried pushing through it, connecting with it (ugh, never again) and even cutting through it. She stopped abruptly when cutting through it seemed to rock the world around her. She knew that meant Max was in pain. His emotions coursed through her through the core. So close, she thought desperately. Yet so far… –––––– I tried to explain the situation to Kayla again. This was the sixth time. Every time I came around, I would end up meeting the same Commander and Gart'nir. The places changed though. The Tigers and Hippos were still around but the location jittered around. Sometimes it was a vast sprawling city, sometimes it was a small village in the jungle, one time it was between two cloud-built cities, but nothing like that could ever exist. It was like the places didn't matter, as if they weren't important. Meeting Kayla each time was the same, though the dialogue was different. With, or without her I managed to stumble upon a Hippo encampment and there would be the stoic Commander that I'd never get the name to and Gart'nir who took strange pleasure in introducing me to the wonders of passing out. There wasn't any pain, which was strange. I kept expecting to feel something as he stabbed me with his wicked knife. "I—" I stopped. What was the point? How long would I be trapped here? How would I save my father if I was stuck in this recurring nightmare? Kayla knelt by my side. "You're crying," she whispered, rubbing a paw across my face. Her fur was ticklish but I was too drained to even summon laughter. "I didn't know Nanu'wans could cry," she said, her claws rubbing together. "I've been doing that a lot," I admitted, "It seemed like the appropriate response." "I haven't known you for a long time," she said, creeping closer, "but I don't want to see you hurt." I chuckled weakly. "That's what you said last time," I muttered under my breath. "What?" "Nothing." I stared off into the trees. I was in my father's mind. What was I doing concentrating on the problem in front of me instead of the whole picture? I sat up. "What?" Kayla murmured. "What is it?" "I hear something," I replied, distracted. It was true. There was a keening noise, just on the edge of my hearing. "I don't—" "Shh." We both fell silent as I strained my ears. I turned this way and that, trying to pinpoint the origins of the sounds. There was also a faint odour in the air. It was unpleasant, just something unidentifiable. Slowly I rotated, concentrating on my senses. There was a small flash as I passed the trees just to Kayla's right. It was fractionally louder in that direction. "It's coming from there…" I muttered. I started heading towards it, only to stop as a spear barred my way. I turned back to the tigress who had on a smirk that looked—for lack of a better phrasing—evil. "So," she said all too casually. "You've figured it out." I eyed the spear as it was held in her firm grip. "You can't die here," she said, grinning wickedly. "But I can make it oh so hard for you to reach your destination." ––––– Star Swirl was making steady progress, with every step he sensed he was getting closer to the core. So it had to be at that moment when he thought things were starting to look up, that a three foot wall had to sprout up in front of the silver double helix. "Pony—" "Starry!" "Pony penultimate parties. That's what I was going to say." ––––– I got up as fast as I could. It was never fast enough. With every iteration, as soon as Kayla found out I knew about that weird noise or smell or the flash of light she'd end the recurring loop and I'd start on the ground or cloud or grass or whatever it was again with her spear poking me in the side. To be honest, I was starting to hate that spear, and that was just the first time. With a supreme effort, I flipped myself over and burst into the cover of the bushes. I could hear the muted pawsteps as she approached my ‘hiding spot’ slowly. Truthfully I was just trying to buy some time. I had tried to cast spells on her but it didn’t work. I had tried to outrun her but she just caught up to me. I had tried to hide, to conceal myself but she would always find me. Everything just slid past her and she was always faster, stronger or one step ahead of me. I couldn't outmanoeuvre this frustrating individual. Crouching in the bushes my mind kicked into overdrive. Okay, I thought to myself. I’ve tried magic, I’ve tried running, I’ve tried running and fighting. What haven’t’ I done? I thought about playing along, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything, eventually the Commander would pop up or Gart’nir. I shivered. Like I said, there wasn’t any pain but the unsettling sensation of something piercing through you was enough to give me the willies. Almost like the same sensation of the dentist prying out your wisdom teeth while under local anaesthetic. It was that kind of disturbing sensation. I was in no rush to feel that. But it didn’t seem like I had a choice. Anything I did would just end up being thwarted. I growled, tensing, ready to leap out as soon as Kayla came close to the bushes. Pad. Pad. Pad. She was getting closer. This time would be different. I would leap out and tackle her and while we were struggling on the ground, I’d grab her spear and swing up a tree, that way she couldn’t get me and I would be the one with the weapon. Fixing it in my mind, I leaped out of the bushes and tackled the first shadow I saw. Tumbling through the shrubbery I grappled with the figure who felt strangely furless. I pinned the figure down, baring my teeth. When I focused on their face, my jaw dropped. “Mother?!” –––––– I must have looked pretty comical lying there with my mouth opening and closing like some kind of brain-dead fish.I glanced around and was surprised to note that there were no trees, no forest, no setting at all. It was just white space. “Relax my little Ikemesit. Shh.” She stopped me from saying anything as she gently placed a finger on my lips. My old name was so startling I froze on top of her like an idiot for a few seconds before I clambered off. She rose from the ground gracefully, her movements bringing to mind the flow of a swan. Elegant, measured, graceful. She laughed, her lilting voice carrying clearly across to me. “Come, Ikemesit, we have much to say in little time.” I was snapped out of the trance I was in. No, this was too inconvenient, I wouldn’t be fooled. “You’re not real!” I shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at her. She smiled somewhat sadly. “No, my child, my sunshine, I’m not.” My mother, or the vision I was having of her or whatever it was I was suffering from in this dreamworld, drifted away a little. A scene formed around us, fading into focus like broad strokes of an artist’s brush. It was disconcerting, one moment I was in this white void, the next I found myself surrounded by the familiar environment of my house. The house I lived in before my mother had passed away. She guided me to a seat and I sat down gingerly, expecting it to somehow be unsubstantial with how whimsically it was willed into existence. Though I resolved to treat everything she said with a bucket full of salt, I found myself wanting to believe her. She was so much like my mother… At least, all that I could remember… “We don’t have much time,” she announced as I took my seat. “I must tell you what you need to know and then I must go.” I felt conflicted. By her own admission she wasn’t real, but the fantasy was so pleasant I felt myself not wanting to let go. “No,” I mumbled, reaching out for her. She pulled away quickly and I felt a stab through my heart. I tried again but she held up a hand and my own slowly sank back into my lap. “No Ikemesit, we don’t have much time. You mustn’t get too attached to me, I don’t really exist.” “Before we begin,” I ground out, surprised that I could speak at all, “I must ask you one question.” I took a deep breath. I was afraid what I would find out with this question. “Who or what are you?” Mother smiled at me, her aqua eyes framed by wrinkles as she told me, “I’m your mother, simply put.” She gestured to herself. “More accurately I’m a memory of her. Your father’s memory of me.” She played with her hair giggling a little. “Though I probably look more beautiful now than I ever did in real life. Max does have quite the imagination. So for all intents and purposes I am your mother, right now. You can trust me.” “Why should I?” I shot back. Even though I had every right to say it, saying it to a visage of my mother was so much harder. It was like spitting of her grave, talking back to this phantom. My mother looked a little sad. “I don’t suppose you have a reason to trust me, at least not with what you’ve been through so far. But you’re in a pickle of a situation, are you not? In a few minutes you’ll be back in that recurring nightmare and you will struggle again.” She tapped the armrest with her fingers looking a little impatient. “No matter how strong-willed you are, trapped in a hopeless situation like that, you’ll eventually run out of ideas and your will to live will be shaved away ever so slightly with each reset.” She pointed to the clock on the wall behind me. I glanced at it, something was wrong it wasn’t moving. “Time moves slower here,” my mother continued. “You experience much, but hardly any time has passed in the real world.” I looked at the clock again, it was true, it wasn’t stopped, the second hand was just moving impossibly slowly. I swallowed hard with the realisation. “So by the time anyone forcibly terminates the spell from the outside, or from the inside, I would have gone through hundreds of loops?” My mother placed a hand on my shoulder. “Not just hundreds,” she said. “Millions.” With that little bombshell I was all ears. My mother had put forward a very good case for my trusting in her. Well, everything she had just told me could have all been a lie, but I didn’t have much of a choice did I? I was stuck, I’ve tried so many things to get around Kayla, but nothing worked. Her advice though, was not as helpful as I liked. “I’ve told you everything you need to know,” she simply stated, she looked like she was commenting on the weather. I felt like I wanted to flip the table. I resisted the urge, but only just. “You haven’t told me anything!” I growled. I wanted to yell and scream, but this was my dead mother, I had to mind my manners, in a manner of speaking. My mother was silent, sipping tea that had generously spawned on the table. She drew out an old kitchen egg timer and set the dial to three minutes. “This is all the time we have here, Ikemesit. Use it wisely. Ask me something I can tell you.” I paused at that. “There are rules to this?” I asked incredulously. My mother hesitated then nodded slightly. “Great,” I muttered, but sat down and started thinking as my mother tapped the timer with a slender finger. “You’ve used my old name, is that somehow connected to this?” There was a nod. “Does this have something to do with Dad’s past—no wait—of course it has something to do with Dad’s past, it’s a memory.” I played with the frayed tassels on well used cushion I was sitting on. “We’re in the old house so it must be something in that era.” Another nod. Two minutes left. Encouraged I went further. “It must be during his travels. The animals I’ve encountered. Tigers from India and Asia, Hippos from Africa and of course my name from Grandpa… Must of been during his Asian-Saharan trip. Before he went exploring cross-dimensions.” I clicked my fingers. “That’s why they were surprised I could do magic!” Mother nodded once again, a smile spreading on her face. One minute left. “There’s only one more piece of the puzzle, I’m missing…” I strained my mind, wracking my brain. What was I missing? Something obvious. My mother spun the globe on the coffee table. “Locations!” I yelled triumphantly half-rising from my chair. “That’s right, the location didn’t seem so important. The roots of the history might be from Earth, but the conflict is happening or has happened somewhere else.” I sunk back down into my seat. “But where?” My mother pursed her lips. It looked like she couldn’t help me anymore. There wasn’t much time left, I had to figure this out… What was I missing? “King Leo is strange name for a tiger…” My eyes widened. “Lions! Griffons! Head of a eagle, body of a lion!” I smacked my forehead, it was also mentioned in the letter. I don’t get it, why wasn’t this just told to me straightaway? Mother seemed to know what my question was. Eyeing the timer approaching the alarm she gave me a pat on the head. “Memories are encoded differently in the mind, Harmony, just remember, memories fade with time…” “Wait, I haven’t fully figured it out!” At that, the house went out of focus and mother turned away from me, walking away purposefully. I cried out, leaping from my seat to try and snatch her hand, but she faded away and I felt myself hit something soft and furry. Kayla gave me a smug grin. “Found you,” she whispered in my ear. I was back to where I started.