"Ya'll think it could work?" A small western voice asked
"I'm not exactly sure," another voice responded "is your magic any good?"
"I'm pretty sure I can do it." A small squeaky voice responded. Deadpool groaned a bit, slowly opening his eyes.
"DO IT NOW!!!" A force was felt around the axe and, after a couple of seconds, it was yanked right out!!! Deadpool immediately got up and screamed loudly, followed by a him head hitting a wooden ceiling, causing him to kneel down and cover the back of his head.
"Holy S**t," Deadpool yelled in pain "que m*****o duele!!!"
"Are ya'll hurt?" Deadpool looked up and saw that he was in a small clubhouse with a map of Ponyville, but in front of him were three fillies: a yellow earth pony with a red mane & wearing a pink ribbon, an orange pegasus with a Rainbow Dash looking purple mane, and a white unicorn with a curly mane with two stripes of light pink & light purple.
HOLY S**T!!! THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!
They're so... cute... and young.[/color]
I wanna pet their little manes, scratch behind their tiny ears, and kick that s**t out of those two brats!!!
We both do. All three of us do.
"Can he speak?" the pegasus asked. Deadpool shook his head and went from kneeling to sitting down with his legs crossed.
"Yes." He spoke "I can speak and yes, I'm alright."
"Great!!!" The earth pony spoke "Mah name's Applebloom, the pegasus is Scootaloo and the unicorn is Sweetie Belle."
"Please to meet you." Scootaloo greeted herself
"Hi." Sweetie shyly introduced herself.
"We heard what ya'll have been doing around here lately, and we hoped we could get our Cutie Marks with your help!"
"My help?" Deadpool responded
"Yeah!" Scootaloo replied "All the things you've done have been AWESOME!!!"
"Really?"
"Though they were a bit violent and, might I add, Pinkie Pie-ish." Sweetie Belle squeaked
"None taken. Look, I'm not reayy sure that I should-"
"But you must!" Applebloom yelled. She ran towards the masked man, knocking him down to the floor, getting onto his chest and staring down into his eyes "Please! You can help us get our Cutie Marks!"
"Think of how awesome we can be with your help!" Scootaloo added, going to Deapool's right side
"We won't complain," Sweetie Belle added "We just need the basics!"
"Please!!!" All three begged together. Their underlips went over their top lips, and their pupils widened with some whimpering heard. Deadpool sat there, staring at them.
Can't... handle! Too... cute!!!
Do it! Or else... Diabeetus!!!
"...f**k." Deadpool simply said to himself "Alright, you win, I'll train you on how to use weapons like the ninja I am."
"YAY!!!" The Blank Flanks cheered "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NINJA TRAINING!!!" The three ran out of the clubhouse, gleefully cheering and talking amongst themselves on what their new Ninja cute marks will look like. Deadpool, though in a crouching position, left the clubhouse to see the three running around, acting like they were ninjas. He exited and stood tall.
"TEN-HUT!!!" The three noticed Deadpool and got in a straight line. Deadpool walked down as if he were a general in the army, and drums started to play right behind them.
"Are ya'll hearing drums?" Applebloom asked
"You hear those as well?" Scootaloo replied "Glad I'm not the only one."
"Is this another song, Mr. Deadpool?" Sweeite Belle asked.
"No Questions!" Deadpool simply replied "♫Let's get down to business, to kick major buns. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? You're the cutest bunch I ever met, but you can bet before we're through: Ladies, I'll make a mare out of you!!!♫"
The Four were in a forest, practicing with sticks as Bamboo shoots, doing twirls around. The three had to fight off Deadpool, who showed no sign of exhaustion.
"♫Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within.♫"
They were now in a stream, balancing on a small rock in the middle, though the fillies were having a hard time.
"♫Once you find your center, You are sure to win. You're a careless, young, weak-full lot, and you haven't got a clue.♫" Deadpool launched his arm into the stream and caught a decent sized fish, holding it like a trophy! "♫Somehow I'll make a mare out of you!!!♫"
"♫I'm never gonna catch my breath♫" Scootaloo huffed, running through some thorns while following Deadpool, getting a lot of cuts on her.
"♫Say goodbye to those who knew me.♫" Applebloom sang while swinging her warm wildly at Deadpool, who had one hand on her head preventing her to attack and was checking on his phone on what he missed back home (mostly dirty stuff).
"♫Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym♫" Sweetie Belle Panted, falling right behind her friends in a jog around the field."
♫You're scaring these kids half to death♫
♫Hope you guys don't see right through me.♫
"♫Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!♫" Deadpool sang, gasping for breath while failing to stay afloat in a kiddy pool with the CMC repeating the 'No Evil' monkeys.
"♫We are mares!♫" the fillies sang together
"♫We must be swift as a coursing river♫"
"♫We a mares!!!♫"
"♫With all the force of great ponies♫"
"♫We are mares♫"
"♫With all the strength of a raging fire, Mysterious as the dark side of mooncheeks!!!♫"
Deadpool looked down at the three from the roof of their clubhouse, seeing that they were so tired that they couldn't even climb the very steps to their clubhouse.
"Time is racing toward us till those brats arrive!!! Heed my every order and you might survive!!!" He jumped down to the three and started to walk away from them. You're unsuited for the rage of war, so pack up, go home you're through. How could I make a mare out of you?" The three took a final deep breath, looked at each other, and nodded. They got up onto their feet: Scootaloo tackled Deadpool! Deadpool, caught off guard, friend to throw her off, but Sweetie Belle ran around him with a rope, tying his legs up, causing Deadpool to fall. When he fell to the floor, immediately, Applebloom picked up her small hind legs and bucked the Merc across his face. Deadpool looked at how they did this and smirked. *During the chorus below, of course*
"♫We are mares!♫" the fillies sang together
"♫We must be swift as a coursing river♫"
"♫We a mares!!!♫"
"♫With all the force of great ponies♫"
"♫We are mares♫"
"♫With all the strength of a raging fire, Mysterious as the dark side of mooncheeks!!!♫"
The fillies were then able to do all the things they couldn't do: Scootaloo ran through the thorns as if it were nothing, Applebloom tossed Deadpool over, impaling him in the branch of a tree, Sweetie Belle ran past her friends in their jog, catching up to Deadpool, and Deadpool breached the water, flying high in the air as if he were a dolphin with the fillies holding up signs. (Applebloom's had on it 'Appuls', Sweetie had a Volume 10 Dictionary, and Scootaloo's had a bucket of fried chicken from KFC) *same as last*
"♫We are mares!♫" the fillies sang together
"♫We must be swift as a coursing river♫"
"♫We a mares!!!♫"
"♫With all the force of great ponies♫"
"♫We are mares♫"
"♫With all the strength of a raging fire, Mysterious as the dark side of mooncheeks!!!♫"
The three were in a straight row, wearing belts around their waists. Deadpool came walked back & forth in white karate with a black belt.
"Good." Deadpool simply said "I'm just glad that montage got out of the way. I'd hate authors to actually ATTEMPT creating a full montage in detail instead of, oh, I don't know, not use a Mulan joke."
"...I don't follow." Sweetie spoke
"Never mind that. You've all been exceptional, but this isn't the end of your training. Keep practicing what I've taught you, and you'll get better. For now, I have gifts for you all."
"Gifts!?!?!?" Scootaloo yelled "Really!?!?!?"
"But of course. Since you're the first to be excited, come and get yours first." Scootaloo happily ran towards Deadpool. He pulled out a large bag almost out of nowhere and began to look through it. "Let's see here... HERE WE ARE!!!" Deadpool pulled out two Sais.
"Giant forks?"
"Kinda. These are Sais: weapons meant to help break your enemy's weapons and gain the upper hand. Perfect for shanking from behind... and Spaghetti night."
"Thanks Master Deadpool!"
"Indeed." Deadpool bowed respectfully, and Scootaloo returned the bow. She went back to her friends, holding the sais. "Sweetie Belle!" The unicorn walked up to him. Deadpool reached in the bag and pulled out a five foot pole.
"A stick?" Sweetie Belle asked, feeling a bit jealous of Scootaloo.
"No. This is a staff: made from pure bamboo, it has a long reach to help knock the s**t out of your enemies from a longer distant than the others. Plus," he turned it around and showed a button on it. he clicked it and a huge blade came out!!! "It doubles as a spear. Here you go." Sweetie used her magic to hold the spear and the two bowed to each other. She went back to the others, clicking on the button with her snout, making the blade go away. "Finally, Applebloom." The earth pony walked towards her master. "Applebloom... you have shown a lot of... I forgot. But, well... f**k it, here." He pulled out a pair of nunchucks.
"What the hay are these?" the filly asked
"Nunchucks. They act as a flashy way to distract your enemies before you beat the s**t out of them with those two wooden blocks. Plus, with that hula hoop you had earlier, I think you could fly, or, at the very least, glide without much noise."
"Thank you, Sensai."
"Hai!" They both bowed down to each other. "Now, I fear... we won't see each other for a while, but, we will remember it by one thing."
"What is that?" Scoots asked, putting her Sais away.
"...We take a selfie."
"What's a selfie?" Sweetie Belle asked
"I know what it is!" Applebloom exclaimed "Deadpool and ma sister had one! He just takes a picture with you, as a memory!"
"Really?" Scootaloo asked "Well then, let's take it!"
"Say 'COWABUNGA!!!'" Deadpool exclaimed
"COWABUNGA!!!" the fillies cheered with a smile. Deadpool took a selfie with the trio of fillies!!!
"And now, for your memory."
"What is that?" Sweetie asked
"THIS!!!" Deadpool lifted his hand reached over to one of her ears, and began to scratch it. She let out a gasp, then began to murmur to herself.
"Sweetie... what's happening?" Scootaloo asked
"You've... got to try this." Sweetie said very calmly.
"There's room for everypony!!!" Deadpool exclaimed. The ponies tackled Deadpool, covering him in pure cuteness!!! He reached his hand out, touching Scoot's and Applebloom's ear, scratching their ears. they released a relaxed murmur themselves, along with some purring.
5 minutes of intense cute scratching later:
Deadpool sat down upright, with all of the CMC all over him: Sweetie lied on the top of his head, Applebloom had her head on his right arm, and Scootaloo lied on his lap, all fast asleep.
"Today was a good day." Deadpool simply said to himself.