Mind of a Non-Brony

by The Forgotten Host


Memory 1

Luna felt the solid ground beneath her hind hooves. She opened her eyes, only to find that she was looking through TD’s eyes. This wasn’t unexpected, yet the placement of her fore hooves (or arms) still felt awkward. However, she was more concerned about the large human staring down at her face with a stern glare, too close for comfort. The eyes under his bushy brows were the only thing that could reveal any hint of emotion as the rest of his face was covered in a thick layer of facial hair.

“Tell me,” the decidedly male human said in a demanding voice.

“No!” she heard herself say in what felt like a much younger TD’s voice.

“Tell me,” repeated the giant human.

“No!”

“Please tell me?”

“No!”

“I’ll be your best friend,”

“No!”

“I’ll be your worst enemy!”

“No!”

Luna gave props to TD. What kind of child could look a hairy aggressor straight in the face and resist oppression? The male human sighed and backed up before rising to full height which might have even been two full heads over Celestia. The goliath of a human was wearing formal attire and had a suit case in one hand.

“Come on son,”

'THAT IS TD’S FATHER?!' Luna thought as he continued, “I need my car keys.”

“No!” the giant’s offspring refused once again.

TD’s father rubbed the back of his neck and faced the door to his far left.

“Margaret?” he called out.

“Yeah? A feminine voice answered behind the door.

“TD hid my car keys again”

“So?”

“So tell him to give them back!”

“Why can’t you do it?”

“I’m trying!” he placed the suit case down next to him, “He’s not budging.”

There was a short silence, “You're having trouble arguing with an eight year old?”

“He’s a persistent eight year old!”

The sound of someone laughing hard could be heard through the door.

He glanced back at Luna, then back at the door, “He listens to you more!”

“He listens to me cuz he doesn't have the guts to talk back. Be assertive big guy. Make him know who’s boss and he’ll do anything for you.”

The gentle giant looked down at Luna and pursed his lips, “TD,” he said in vain attempt to sound threatening, “I want my keys, now.”

TD shook his head wildly, almost dizzying Luna, “No!”

Another laugh came from the door, closer this time. “Weak!”

The man’s face contorted in embarrassment, becoming red just enough to match the color of his crimson hair, “I’d like to see you try.”

A somewhat maniacal laugh came from right behind the door before it opened to reveal a (judging from appearance) female human grinning condescendingly, “Challenge accepted.”

She was wearing black jeans with a dark purple shirt. This human wasn't nearly as tall as TD’s father, yet the aura surrounding her was menacing. Walking elegantly almost like a siren, she walked past the tall human and stopped in front of Luna, sitting down legs crossed on the ground.

“TD,” she said firmly, “Give your father his keys back.”

“No!” the child repeated what seemed to be the only word he knew. Yet his lack of cooperation did not phase the lady at all (evident by the smug smile on her face). She lowered her head concealing her face.

“Keys, TD,” She ordered slightly more intimidating, “I want those keys.”

“No!”

“Suit yourself kiddo,” she whispered before slowly raising her head.

For some reason, this felt very off to Luna, ‘I can’t put my hoof on it, but something about this human seems- HOLY MOTHER OF TAP DANCING FAUST, WHY AM I LOOKING AT FLUTTERSHY’S EYES?!’

“TD,” she said in a voice so smooth it sounded horrifying, “Keys. Now.”

The stare intensified, “I’m givin ya till the count of five. One.”

“Two”

“Three”

“Four”

Every number this human uttered felt like a slap to the face to Luna. She begged the stars for TD to answer before the dreaded number five would be mentioned. Her prayer was answered as she felt TD’s eye twitch.

“It’s in his back pocket”

Hearing this, TD’s father raised an eye brow before running a hand down his pocket. He pulled out the keys earning a finger pointed towards his face, accompanied by another round of heart-filled laughter courtesy of the human with the ‘eyes’.

“Very funny,” he deadpanned before picking up the suitcase, “Alright, I’m going to be late for the interview. So I have to jet.”

The human with the ‘eyes’ stood to full height, looked up at the tender behemoth's face and jumped to wrap her arms around his neck hugging him, “Go get’m, you big lug.” She kissed him in the cheek earning the docile colossus a grateful smile.

Luna’s jaws would have ploughed the ground if she wasn't in TD’s body. ‘THAT’S TD’S MOTHER?!’

The man quickly paced out of the room, leaving Luna to stare at the door from where he left.

“As for you,” Her gaze went back to TD's mother’s 'eyes' who was looking down at her arms crossed. This human was slightly shorter than the non-brony Luna knew, but seemed storeys taller than the father. “Why did you hide your father’s car keys?”

Thankfully for Luna, Luna's gaze fell on the ground and TD sniffled guiltily. Luna felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and looked TD’s mother who had knelt down to the Luna’s eye level. Her face seemed sympathetic and concerned for her son, “You worry for him too don’cha?”

“mhmm,” the child responded.

“Don’t worry,” she smiled warmly (like Fluttershy Luna noted,) “He's too gigantic to just up'n disappear. He’ll be back.”

TD nodded.

“So,” his mother stood up and walked to the fridge, “what’s it gonna take to cheer you up?”

She was answered by a growl from TD’s stomach earning her a giggle, “Alright, make yourself comf’truble on that chair. I’ll fix you up something special.”

TD nodded and everything disappeared in a thick fog. Luna looked left and right for anything that wasn't a misty grey. After a few moments, the fog cleared and she found herself back in the elevator with her own body with all four hooves on the ground. Elevator TD was standing where he was before unfazed by the night princess’s sudden arrival.

“How was the memory?” he asked without a hint of emotion. Luna looked at him and back at the wall of mist.

She said, “Somehow, I feel it raised more questions than it answered.”