The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza

Emerald? What Were You Thinking?

Please make sure that your "Formatting" is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you.

A/N: It's strange, but I find myself referring back to Chrysalis when I want a simple beatdown.
Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, and Rooster Teeth.
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Contrary to popular opinion, I'd actually prefer the blue M&Ms.

Illusions can trick the mind into seeing something that just isn't there.

I'm not the host you're looking for. Oooo.

... You do not have Force Persuasion.

Oh yeah? *Weapon click.* I have ways to forcefully persuade.

*Ahem.* The masters of deception we're focusing on today include Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings.

And Emerald, the mind masher from RWBY.

He's B and I'm W.

It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills...

... to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Chrysalis
-Species: Changeling
-Appearance: Equine with bug-like features
-Known by EqD as "Queen Cheeselegs"
-Magic: Shape-shifting, levitation, beams (pain and disintegration settings), portals to underground, mind control
-Feeds on love energy and grows stronger the more she feeds
-Takes over Equestria after Starlight Glimmer's second timeline alteration
-Weakness: Overconfidence

In European folklore, changelings are fairy children that are left in place of the actual babies. However, in Equestria, they're a little different. Resembling a hoofed creature with beetle-like skin and wings, these changelings have a tendency to feed off the love energy of ponies by altering their forms to replace loved ones.

I wouldn't mind using that power to replace a few loved ones. Heh heh heh. I could finally get my ex-wife arrested for something.

That is sad. The one who leads the rest of the changelings is their queen, Chrysalis. Most changelings are capable of shape-shifting into ponies of similar size, surrounding themselves with a magic equivalent to plasma, and creating a sticky substance that restricts their victims' movement.

Eww...

Chrysalis has taken her abilities even further. She can utilize the same levitation and beam spells as some unicorns, shape-shift into just about any size of pony ranging from large alicorn to small earth pony, and use seduction to lead into a mind-controlling spell.

There's also this burning portal spell which sends any unlucky bastard she chooses deep underground to some abandoned cavern. Once there, she can send projections of herself to various rocks for taunting and tormenting purposes.

Like the beetles that they share features with, all changelings are capable of flight and some can even alter something in their hooves to allow wall-crawling.

The source of changelings' vast arsenal of powers is literally sucking the love out of their victims. When Chrysalis has her fill from just one unicorn captain, she's apparently on par with an alicorn that can move the freaking sun.

A bit misleading, since Chrysalis cannot actually move the celestial bodies on her own. If anything, she got the upper hand by surprising Celestia's attempt at minimal damage as we don't see Chrysalis perform this kind of feat anywhere else.

When the changelings work together, they can apparently coordinate their disguises' voices to turn an entire group of friends against each other. It's like an army of Diet Shang-Tsungs.

While her tactics may be a bit lacking at first glance, she is a threat that can't be tackled head-on. Rather, defeating her will require forces beyond her control.

Anyone got a ten-foot long flyswatter?

"What a lovely yet absolutely ridiculous sentiment!"

Emerald
-Human from the kingdom of Mistral
-Apprentice to Cinder Fall
-Weapon of choice: Scythes with firearm attachments
-Aura: capable of blocking lethal blows, maximum is 100
-Semblance: Illusions - Can alter the perception of another person to the point of seeing and hearing things that aren't there
-Gets a headache if she tries to fool more than one mind at a time
-Tends to hide in the environment

The world of Remnant holds many kingdoms: Vale, Atlas... but none quite as mysterious as Mistral. If you can find her amidst the confusion, you will find Emerald Sustrai, a thief that hides in plain sight.

This green-clothed girl is quick on her feet and a swift slicer with her scythes. As a bonus, her curved blades also double as dual-wield pistols that can take down a sleuth of Grimm after a round or two.

But what caught the attention of her cohort Cinder Fall was Emerald's ability to steal valuables without arousing any suspicion. This was made possible with her Semblance, a special power held by some Hunters and Huntresses that is unique to the individual.

By just squinting her eyes, she can trick anyone's mind into seeing and hearing something that isn't there. With these illusions, she can manipulate a person's actions into a number of things ranging from making them let their guard down to coaxing out their most powerful attack in the wrong direction.

She can hold up any illusion for an indeterminate amount of time. However, she has trouble fooling more than one mind at the same time and gives herself a headache in the process.

When she's not in the mood to activate her mind trick thingy, she utilizes her environment to hide her movements like tall grass and heavily wooded forests. Plus, she can swing her scythes around by a large whipping chord to yank her enemies right where she wants them.

Let's not forget her Aura, the trump card of any Huntress and their greatest defense. Like most of the cast of RWBY, Emerald's Aura can block lethal attacks and heal minor wounds. But just like the rest of them, it has a maximum resistance of one hundred.

Hey, if Dragonball has taught me anything, it's that power levels are bull****.

While Emerald can appear innocent and happy and can be charismatic enough to pull information out of her 'friends', she can't really stand overly happy people.

Does that make her a green goth?

"I'll try not to get blood on it."

"I can't promise you'll leave without a scratch."

"I won't be the one bleeding."

"I like her."

Alright, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all.

It's time to go green with a Death Battle!

A few birds chirp as the camera observes the underside of a tree canopy. Sunlight leaks through, causing the occasional lens flare. Panning down a little, the audience gets to see a green-clothed woman whose tan midriff is showing. She walks down the forest's lone, dirt path. Her expression shows annoyance at the birds that are way too happy.

Something buzzes behind a tree trunk.

She yanks out one of her weapons from the holster behind her. Immediately, a scythe is spinning along a chord right for the base of the tree. With a few slashing sounds, the tree falls over. But there's nothing there.

"Somebody's a little jumpy."

Upon hearing a doubled voice effect, she quickly turns around. She pulls out her second weapon and points the gun at the black-shelled equine. Meanwhile, her other hand yanks her scythe back to her.

"Who... What are you?" Her amber brown eyes stare at this new target.

"As much as I'd love to monologue..." A few smaller creatures of similar build fly over next to the first. "... I'd rather we just skip the formalities."

FIGHT!

Changelings swarm after the human from various directions. Various hisses and growls escape their fanged mouths. Emerald points her guns and fires wildly at the incoming creatures. Several changelings lose their head and legs, leaving what's left of their bodies to fall to the ground. Still, a few of them land down fully intact and hungrily gather around this new prey.

"Let's see how you like this," mutters Emerald as she squints.

There's almost an echoing exhale going through the speakers. Some of the changelings yelp at high pitches. They sound panicky and fly around in circles. Using this moment of confusion, Emerald unleashes her scythes. She flips around the battlefield, slashing her enemies at various angles. As soon as there's only one changeling left, she kicks this one's head into the dirt before slicing it through the abdomen.

But all of a sudden, she holds her hands against her head. The forest clearing looks as though it's spinning around her. Her face looks a little green as nausea fills her body. Chrysalis chuckles at the sight before her. She ignites her horn and creates a circle of green flames around the human.

The fires rise up and circle into a dome. Emerald's feet start sinking down through the ground. She finally shakes her head from the migraine and yelps. She shoots one of her scythes out. Its chord wraps around a couple of large tree trunks. With a strong yank on the chord, she manages to pull herself out of the magical hole.

The Huntress falls to her knees and breathes heavily. In her moment of reprieve, she doesn't notice the queen flying over. Chrysalis slams her front hooves down against her opponent's back. After the initial blow, Emerald spins around and gets on her feet. She exchanges some punches and kicks with Chrysalis's hard-hitting hooves.

After a few seconds of punching and blocking, Emerald does a backflip. Chrysalis narrowly dodges the rising foot. But, that's long enough for Emerald to squint against one target. Briefly, the camera switches to a first-person perspective from Chrysalis's eyes. It looks like the human is in several places at once.

"You're going to have to try a little harder than that." Chrysalis smirks as she fires a beam straight ahead.

As the real Emerald recoils from the blast's impact, her illusion shatters. The queen marches forth and stands tall above her foe. Emerald pushes against the ground with her hands. She looks up with a questioning grunt. Chrysalis looks ready to kill with her horn ignited and her front hooves raised high.

Whipping her arm around, Emerald pulls the trigger on her gun. In shock from the sudden impact against her chest, Chrysalis stumbles back a step. Emerald holds both of her guns at once and fires them one after the other. The shots pepper against Chrysalis's body, filling her with holes that aren't supposed to be there. Blood squirts out of the queen's body at various places.

Emerald takes a swing with both of her scythes. Chrysalis's jaws fall off while the rest of her head flies backwards. As for the rest of her body, it falls into a crumbled heap.

"Hard enough for you?" spits Emerald.

"BRUTAL FATALITY!"

Ahh... Just a few more years and she could be my potential wife.

Emerald basically obliterated Chrysalis in terms of what she could take and dish out. Chrysalis's magic can be powerful, but the speed of ordinary bullets is faster than anything she's ever had to contend with before.

Yep. Chrysalis's style requires manipulation and saving directly fighting as a last resort. But Emerald can back up her illusions with fighting at a moment's notice.

That's not to say the entire battle was a cakewalk. If confronted with the task of manipulating the minds of so many changelings at once, it would drastically drain her own mind's stability. Additionally, it would have little effect on Chrysalis who is more than familiar with the inner workings of mind control herself.

But considering the kind of punishment Emerald can deliver even without her illusions, turning a forest into a windshield mess is nothing beyond her.

Besides, Emerald's Aura is capable of withstanding attacks from the Fall Maiden. There's no doubt that it would protect her from stunning magic. Couple this with her weapons of choice, and victory is practically sealed.

She really cuts it close.

The winner is Emerald Sustrai.

But we're not done just yet.

Here, the fights are settled without analysis.

Two fighters!

All action!

No research!

Lightning Round!

Start the clock and... go!

The scene opens up with Rainbow Dash sleeping on a cloud. A visual "Z" floats up for every snore. It looks like it's going to be a relatively relaxing day. That is, until Rainbow's cutie mark starts glowing and shaking slightly. Her latest "Z" pops as she wakes up and yawns. She peeks behind her and then gasps at the signal.

One second, there's a pegasus on the cloud. In the next, a seven-colored trail pops the cloud into vapors. The camera skips over to the front door of Twilight's castle. Rainbow shoves the door open and flies in. The hallways are long, but she's come to know the important rooms. The broom closet is that door, the bathroom is this door, and the throne room with the map is just ten past the point where Spike looks beat up and is clutching his ribs.

Wait, what?

Rainbow backs up and hovers down to the bruised dragon. She asks him what happened. In pain, he whimpers something about pleading his mother not to step on his stomach anymore. Then, he falls unconscious. Something else is going on. She gets a feeling that it's going to be in the throne room.

After passing the dining hall on the left, Rainbow gasps at yet another hurt friend. Starlight Glimmer is curled up in the fetal position. With a groan, Starlight warns Rainbow to be careful. What in Equestria could be hurting her friends like this? She flies on ahead.

Inside the throne room, it looks like some of the seats have been dislodged from their crystal positions. A bang is followed by Twilight Sparkle flying back-first into one of the walls. With her wings crushed, she's at gravity's mercy. Desperately, she teleports to where she's an inch off the ground. Still, there's plenty of pain rattling her body without the floor's additional impact.

Behind the shadowy figure responsible, the throne room door opens to reveal Rainbow Dash.

"No pony messes with my friends!"

Furiously, Rainbow rushes forward and slams into the figure's midsection. Both of them end up crashing through a window. The audience recognizes the figure as a human. He flips along the ground until he's standing in a ready position. Rainbow looks at him, patting her hooves against each other in anticipation for a beat down.

Nobody blink!

Kick it!

Dash flies in with determination on her face. Smirking, Mercury takes a running start of his own. Front hoof meets shoe sole upon their colliding first strike. There's a bit of a ripple in the air as the cameraman is pushed away by the aftershock. Rainbow follows up with her other front hoof. However, Mercury spins around and blocks the attack with his arm.

He attempts a double-kick maneuver with his other foot. Rainbow's front legs take the brunt force just before she tries a few back kicks of her own. Mercury guards against the first two with his arms, weaves to the side of the third, and ducks under the fourth. Immediately, he does a backwards somersault, punting Rainbow's chin with his toe area. The pony shakes off the pain.

After a slight chuckle, Mercury decides to throw in a little surprise from his foot. He kicks the air from a distance and it sounds like the shot from a gun. A gray cloud whizzes out of his shoe. Dash yelps and narrowly dodges to by flying to the side. She watches the cloud flying up and away before looking at her opponent again.

By this point, Mercury is kick-shooting several clouds. All of this is while he's spinning himself atop his other foot. There are dozens of cloud shots spinning around the field now. It's like a tornado of sorts. Thinking quickly, Rainbow Dash flies around and around in the opposite circular motion. She creates a tornado of her own, causing the artificial clouds to dissipate.

Dash flies straight up, gaining altitude quickly. She then dives straight down. A mach cone forms around her. Mercury clicks his heels together and fires shots from both of his shoes at once, sending him airborne. He aims his foot straight at the incoming pony's face. Just when it looks like it's going to connect, something around Rainbow goes "boom".

A Sonic Rainboom appears in the sky.

"What?!" exclaims Mercury, just as his leg is forced to bend backwards.

The rainbow trail following Dash bends around at a plethora of angles. She's flying around so fast that it looks like she's punching against Mercury from every direction imaginable. After a few high-speed impacts, the visual activates slow-motion. In this mode, the audience can see Dash punching the mans stomach, kicking his back, and jabbing his face in that order. There is also a moment where a ripple of gray light flashes along Mercury's body. His Aura is completely depleted.

Mercury falls through the roof of a nearby house and crashes out of one of its walls. This ends up bringing the rest of the building right on top of him. His hand desperately reaches out of the debris before falling limp. A bit of distance away, Rainbow lands on all fours with authority.

"How do you like that?" she taunts.

Crushing defeat!

This Lightning Round's victory goes to... Rainbow Dash!
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