//------------------------------// // Chapter 5, Denied // Story: The Chronicles of Summer Rain, Vol. 9 -- Future Perfect // by shysage //------------------------------// It figures that I would have to spend a cold Winter alone. I used to like Winter, but now this house is otherwise empty, and I have nopone left to keep me warm. I cry a lot. Well, I had a lot more doctor's visits too. I cried a lot at that. Still, nothing seemed to change the finality of their conversations about my condition. Not much else mattered. I actually wanted to keep walking. I remembered really enjoying jogging when I was much younger. And after Dan left me, I started walking, even if I couldn't walk very fast. I really enjoyed that, and the exercise did make me feel better. It was hard to tell if I was losing weight or not, but I wasn't sure how important that was any more. But when it got cold, it was just hard. I thought often that I could have taken the GOB over to the indoor Mall, and walked around that; it's about a mile and a half around the inside. It is pretty big. I knew others that did that, and I had tried it a time or two, it was very nice. But riding the GOB in the Winter... It was barely above freezing, and it seemed at least one passenger always had to open a window, no matter how cold it was outside. I had to ride the GOB a lot already to doctor's appointments. I wondered if I was supporting half the doctors in this town. It just wasn't worth it. I would start to walk again when the weather warmed... If I was still... I pressed a button on my wrist watch, and out popped a keyboard and display. That is my CV. The letters stand for Com/Video. I guess they used to call them cell phones. And I know some people who still cling to the boxy old smart phones, but this is a lot more convenient. And when I can't sleep at night (which is a lot), I enjoy watching reruns of some old cartoons called, uhm, my... I checked the time. I had just eaten lunch. Well I ate something that I thought was supposed to be nutritious, it said so on the box. I wanted to take a nap. It seems I sleep a bit more now. Well, honestly, I have a harder time sleeping at night, and an easier time sleeping during the day. Whether it's all the pills I take, or an empty bed, I don't know. Both make me cry. Both make me miserable. I never thought... My CV automatically put itself away, and I stretched back in the recliner. Well, it hurt a little, but that was more common any more. After a while, and a few tears, I did drift off to sleep. I soon had a nightmare about Dan, which made me quickly sit upright (which hurt) and breath heavily with anger (which also hurt). After a few minutes, I just sighed. I couldn't change that, and getting angry just hurt. I laid back down in the recliner and tried to relax again. I had already decided a month or two ago that the chances of Dan coming back were nil. It was raining; the rain was tapping gently on the closest window. It was very relaxing, and it put me back to sleep. It was a while later, but I had another dream. This dream was almost like a fairly tale. It was about four completely Black cats, lounging around on some hay in a large building or something. I thought it was indoors, anyway. The cats were all purring loudly. Very loudly. After a few minutes, the vantage point of the dream crept slowly up to reveal a pony laying on her belly in the middle of the four cats, and I only then realized the cats were really some sort of much larger feline, Cougars or Mountain Lions or something. They were all much larger than the pony... But it was clear that the pony in the center was the reason all the huge cats were purring. And they weren't eating the pony. After a few more minutes, the view very slowly zoomed in on the pony. I should know who this is... ... My CV jumped to life, which both woke me up from that dream, and startled me. After a few rings, I answered it, trying to sound as awake as possible, even though I was still half asleep. It was a young, cheery lady from one of my doctor's offices. After verifying that I was really the Twilight they needed to talk to, she said this. "I am calling about your request for the experimental treatment your doctor had applied for. I just wanted to let you know that the Insurance Co-op denied your claim. Be sure to ask your doctor if you have any questions. He has a copy of the claim denied paperwork. Have a nice day!" The lady said all this with a completely cheery voice like I had just won the Lottary (yes they still have that too) or something. Then she hung up, and was probably soon calling someone else with more cheery news. I just sighed. I think that experimental treatment was the last shred of hope for me ever getting better. And a cheery voice just broke it. What else could I do. I cried softly the rest of the day.