The Prank

by Pickleless


Let's rocket science all day long baby. (Pickleless)

"Hey kid, I just pinched out a steamer, felt really good." Derpy announced, walking into the kitchen.

Stupid stopped and processed that. "That's great Derpy, glad to hear it." He shook his head and went back to eating his cereal.

"Hey guys!" Shining Armor announced, teleporting into the room. "After I fused myself with the Crystal Empire, I thought I didn't need to poop anymore, but five minutes ago I pushed out a thick log. Guess I still got it!"

"Good for you Shining." Stupid grumbled. "Look, I know some cultures talking about your business in the restroom is a common thing, but do you think for my sake-"

"Just finished putting it in Berry's stinktube" Bucky said absentmindedly, walking into the room.

"I'm out!" Stupid yelled.

The three watched the small green colt march out of the room, Derpy frowned.

"Bucky dear, I think that strange, nameless little colt you found might be upset."

"Don't worry, I know just what to do." Bucky announced.

"Gonna have a talk with the little guy? You've always been good with foals." Shining smiled.

"What?" Bucky looked over his shoulder as he pulled out a large quantity of liquor out of the cabinet.

"You're not going to get that little foal drunk are you?" Derpy glared at Bucky.

"Don't worry Derpy, I promise I won't get him drunk."


"Guess what Stupid? You're getting drunk!"

"W- wha?.." Stupid rose his head, drowsy from being asleep under a false banana herb.

"Here, take a swig!" Bucky held out a bottle to him.

Shrugging, Stupid took the bottle and attempted to down it. He got about halfway before sputtering and coughing.

"Impressive, was that your first time drinking?" Bucky grinned.

"No, but it's the first time I ever had something as strong as that." Stupid stopped and squinted at the bottle. "...Stupid's Brew?"

"Named after you, you like it?" Bucky sat down next to his friend, pulling him close.

Getting comfortable, Stupid leaned back against Bucky while taking another swig, this time swishing it around in his mouth to taste. "Not the best thing I've had, but I like it. What makes this drink special?"

Bucky's lips spread out into a vicious grin. "Oh, you'll see..."

"Sounds like I'm going to regret this." Stupid noted before he finished the strange liquor. "Let's get smashed."

Pulling out two more Stupid Brew's, the stallion and colt clinked their bottles before drinking.

---One Hour Later---

Bucky and Stupid were rolling in the grass, filled with uncontrollable laughter. Stupid felt amazing. It was as if his brain was on fire, but the flame was only burning away the sores and aches in his head, leaving his mind with a warm, toasty feeling. He could swear the back of his head was actually opened up like a hatch, shooting out fire like a torch. He almost learned how to control the direction of the flame, almost. The fire burned strongly in his chest and crotch too. Never before did has he felt the incredible need to eat, cuddle, have sex, and a sleep, all at once. If he wasn't so busy relaxing, he would probably address one of those needs. His body was constantly expanding in size, the only reason everything looked normal is because Stupid could feel everything else growing too. The whole world was constantly growing at the same time. He was very sure now he fully understood how the universe worked and that if someone asked him, he could explain in fine detail.

Turning his head to tell Bucky how the universe worked, Stupid instead turned it into a dance move as he groaned in pleasure. Any slight movement set his muscles on fire in the best way possible. Simple movement were filled with electricity and he had to keep himself perfectly still just to think clearly. Laying on his back, he started shooting energy beams at the clouds. There was so much power and potential in his hooves, all he had to do was focus it and shoot outwards. The beams were just in his head, but right now everything is halfway real and those clouds were going DOWN.

He could swear he's felt something like this before, but Stupid couldn't quite remember where.

Forcing himself to stand up, Stupid broke out into laughter as slowly stomped around, feeling the powerful energy he shot through his hooves.

"What are you doing?" Bucky chuckled.

"Duuuuuuude... I understand dinosaurs now!"

"Whaaat?" Bucky shook his head.

"Rrrroooawrrr..." Stupid growled in what he thought was a sexy manner, stomping across the grass with his hooves.

"You are so baked!" Bucky broke out into a cheesy laugh, slamming his hoof against the ground.

"Baked?.." Stupid tried to focus.

Baked = High.

High = Cannabis.

"DUDE, DID YOU GIVE ME WEED?!?" Stupid started to freak out.

"What's wrong?" Bucky frowned, wincing from the loud noise.

"Oh no! Oh no oh no oh no oh no!.."

Suddenly the drug trip went horribly wrong. He was too strong, the energy was painful. It was like all his muscles were forcibly contracting, squeezing, and he couldn't make them relax and it was starting to hurt. He started to hyperventilate.

"THIS IS MY FIRST MISSION ALL OVER AGAIN! HELP ME! HELP ME PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!"

"STUPID, LISTEN!" Bucky growled with authority.

Stupid cried softly as Bucky scooped him up and held him close.

"Are you hungry, do you need food?"

"Yes..." Stupid sniffled.

"What do you want to eat?" Bucky cooed.

Stupid looked at Bucky very seriously with tears in his eyes.

"Bucky... there is so much food in the world!.."

"Yes, yes there is," Bucky laughed. "Do you want some of Bonbon's special honey bubblegum cookies?"

"I would do ANYTHING for some of Bonbon's special honey bubblegum cookies!"

"Okay, let's go steal some cookies from the cookie jar. Here's the plan, I'll call everyone in the kitchen outside, and you sneak in and grab the cookies." Bucky grinned.

"But that requires me to move," Stupid pouted, torn between moving to get food and staying perfectly still.

"Do you want Bonbon's bubblegum honey cookies?"

"I REALLY want Bonbon's bubblegum honey cookies."

"Then you're going to have to get up."

Groaning, Stupid forced himself up and started to head back towards Bucky's home. The trip only took a minute but felt like an hour to Stupid. Somewhere along the way Bucky separated from him. Standing at the front door, Stupid completely forgot why he was even here and decided to take a bath. Heading upstairs, he only tripped and fell headfirst into a step three times. Stupid was proud of that. It wasn't that he was clumsy, it's just that every movement he made was so powerful, fast, and in slow motion. It was like a train-wreck slowly exploded, except the train was his face, and the wreck was the step it slammed into. Laughing at himself, he stumbled through the halls towards the magical room that had the hot springs.

Relaxing in the soothing water, Stupid's mind started to wander about, he thought about-

BOOM!!!

Stupid shrugged, Bucky, Lyra, Sunset, or Dinky must be blowing something up again. Neurotic minds and magic usually ended in explosions. Getting back on track of getting lost in his own thoughts, Stupid started to think about how Bucky was suppose to be the Alicorn of War. He seemed to notice that the world reflected the how the alicorns were conveying the aspect they represented. Perhaps the reason this world is so free of conflict is because Bucky himself is at peace. It definitely would've taken a lot of relaxing and love to get him into that state. When Stupid first met him he remembered Bucky was much more suspicious and wary. He wondered what changed that.

"BUCKY, GET BACK HERE!!!"

Stupid noted that Bucky must have caused the explosion. Of course, the biggest factor that changed him would be his wives and kids. Stupid realized that the reason Bucky must have subconsciously grasped on to so much family was to fight his ascension. Since the stallion is such an introvert, it's probably easier for him to expand his family than it is for him to make friends. Some of the more judgmental ponies liked to think that the reason Bucky married so many mares is because he's a pervert. While they are right on the mark that he is a pervert, Bucky's love for his family is much more pure than that.

I mean, he's not that strange. That would be like claiming he was actually trying to turn me into a female to marry me and gain a diplomatic relationship with the changelings or something! Man, wouldn't that be a laugh. Hey Stupid, remember when I turned you into a colt? I was actually trying to gender swap you, sorry!" Stupid laughed at the thought.

...He wouldn't actually try to do that to me, would he?

The thought was ridiculous. Stupid scolded himself for having doubt in his friend. Bucky would never do such a thing.

...Right?

It's not like Bucky knows a spell to change genders-


---Two weeks ago.---

"Hey Bucky, so what's up with you, Lyra, and Bonbon? Do you guys... you know?" Stupid made a motion with his hoof.

"One time I turned into a mare and they both screwed me senseless." Bucky replied.

"Oh, cool."


W- WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE BUCKY IS CRAZY OR MORALLY AMBIGUOUS...

...

"OH MAKER, BUCKY TRIED TO TURN ME INTO MARE AND NOW HE GOT ME DRUNK AND HIGH TO LOWER MY GUARD!"

"Oh, there you are!" Bucky smiled, entering the hot springs. "I don't know what happened, but I managed to snatch the cookie jar. Do you wan-"

"YOU GET AWAY FROM ME!" Stupid screamed.

"Stupid, what's wrong?!?"

"DON'T THINK I'M NOT ONTO YOU, YOU'RE SECRETLY TRYING TO TURN ME INTO A MARE AND MARRY ME!"

"...What?"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU- MMMmmmmmm..." Stupid slowly chewed on the cookie shoved into his mouth.

"There, feeling better?" Bucky said, looking amused.

"More," Stupid demanded.

Bucky passed the cookie jar over and Stupid shoved his face into it.

"Bucky, you scoundrel!" Bonbon screamed, jumping into the hot spring. "You know that... who's this?"

"A poor, hungry little colt." Bucky made puppy eyes at Bonbon. "Isn't that right little one?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Stupid mumbled, shoving his face full of cookies.

"Awwwww... Why didn't you just tell me you were getting the cookies for him?" Bonbon said sweetly.

Bucky grinned as Bonbon planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Someone is getting a special treat tonight..." Bonbon winked as she walked away with a swing in her hips.

"Just as planned," Bucky said smugly.

"Hmm?" Stupid looked up from the jar.

"Nothing..."