//------------------------------// // 2) Shimmer of Generosity // Story: Dear Diary: Sunset Shimmer's Best Friend // by Piquo Pie //------------------------------// Hey, Diary, So, someone threw a brick through my window and shattered it. I think it might have been Snips and Snails. I heard their laughter after the brick woke me up. I called the cops as soon as I realized what had happened. Though, now that I think about it there really wasn’t a point to doing that. They were leaving, I was safe, and it’s not like I was going to turn in Snips and Snails. They’re probably suffering worse than I am. I guess I was just scared. I’d been having a dream where the school turned me into a pony and rode me around through flaming hoops while hitting me with switches. The school has to be treating them as bad as me and they don’t have anyone helping them. I wonder if they have nightmares too. The policewoman that responded said they’d look into it but didn’t sound hopeful unless someone came forward. Since that’s not going to happen it means they’re safe. I think I’ll try and talk to Snips and Snails tomorrow. I owe them an apology and I know they could use some help with their homework. Actually, I think I’ll set my alarm early tomorrow and make some cookies for everyone: Snips, Snails, and the girls. Heh, everyone. Me making cookies. I think Pinkie Pie and Rarity would approve. I feel better now. Would you sleep with me tonight, Diary? Thank you, -I love you. Day 5 of being a better pony Dear Diary,                                                                 Hey, Diary. Today was okay. It was a day about the little things. I did manage to get up early and make cookies, cleaning the new pile of trash off the yard while they baked. I made enough for everyone, the girls and my former lackies. I hadn’t made cookies since I was a kid so it was kind of nostalgic, though not being able to use magic kind of mitigated it. Being magicless still surprises me sometimes. Not that I let that stop me from licking the beaters. I know I’m not supposed to but come on, they’re cookies and I wanted to feel like a kid for a few moments. I left a note on my door for the girls saying I’d meet them at school with a thank you gift. I used a few plastic bags to take the cookies. I left the ones for Snips and Snails on Snips’ porch with an apology note. I figured they wouldn’t want to see me and I didn’t know how I’d actually apologise. The note just said ‘I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you because of me. I hope you like the cookies. If you need help with homework it would be the least I could do as both a thank you and to help make up for the damage I’ve caused.’ It occurred to me as I was walking to school that they might not eat the cookies. There’s a chance that they might think they were poisoned. They never were very bright, and I kind of maybe always led them through fear. I hid around the corner from school until right before the bell rang, no reason to provoke the students. When I came around, the girls were just arriving. I saw them first and called out. It felt good because they seemed relieved to see me. Pinkie explained that they got really worried when they saw the broken window and didn’t know if it happened before or after I left. Apparently Rarity had noticed that the glass inside had been cleaned up, but they still felt uneasy. I guess Rarity has a knack for details. No wonder her clothing always looks so professional. They all loved the cookies. They weren’t great, the cookies that is, but as far as cookies go decent cookies are still good. Pinkie happened to have some milk cartons on her, so that was nice, if a bit confusing. I mean, why carry around 6 cartons of milk? I didn’t bother to ask; things with Pinkie seem easier if I just let them be. Classes were mostly uneventful, which I was grateful for. I managed to fall asleep in history because, well, it’s the history of an alien planet. It sounds like it should be really interesting now that I wrote it but let me assure you that learning about a different species’s politics and history of war is not something ponies are generally interested in. Maybe Twilight would be, but not me. After lunch I bumped into Flash, literally. It was quite awkward, but I managed to compliment him on having seen through my facade when I was, you know, evil and stuff; it was tied in with an analogy somewhere, but as I said, awkward. He blew it off with a bad joke about how we’ve always had those days, but I knew he wasn’t happy to see me. In fact I haven't seen him at all since Friday. I guess he’s been avoiding me. Sad, isn’t it? He was the one human I really looked up to when I first came here and he can still make me laugh, no matter how bad his jokes are, but he can’t stand me more than ever. Meanwhile I would give anything for him to just hold me one last time. That’s a harsh realization. I guess things have just been so hectic lately that I never noticed how much I missed him until he was standing in front of me. Now that I think about when I was with him, I wasn’t a complete bitch until after we split up. Maybe he was somehow keeping me from completely going over to the dark side. Maybe part of our relationship was actually built on friendship. That’s a sobering thought. Oh well, I’m going to go eat some chocolate ice cream now and read a trashy romance. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just re-read that line and now I feel pathetic. I used to command some of the most powerful magic known to ponykind AND the infernal power of being a demoness. But now I am consoling myself with chocolate ice cream because a boy doesn’t like me. Well, I’m off to make it a quart. Dammit all to hell. Goodnight, Diary, Day 7 of being a complete screwup Dear Diary,                                                         Hey, Diary. Yesterday was bad. You might have noticed that I didn’t make any entries and there’s a good. There Applejack, she I think I need to start from the beginning. I started setting my alarm early so I can clean all the trash and debris off the lawn. But yesterday there wasn’t any. Instead those. Instead it was Snips and Snails and a few guys from the football team with some girls. They were waiting behind my trailer and when I stepped out, they jumped me. They told me never to come to school again. And... They beat me up pretty bad. I mean, I’ll be fine. I don’t mean to worry you, Diary, it’s just that. Well. I was hit in the head a few times, so it’s all kind of a blur. I remember being hit in the face; one of them broke my left hand, giving me a hairline fracture by stomping on it. One of them, I don’t know who, threw a cup of lemon juice in my face and they cut off a bunch of my hair and shoved it in my mouth. They also kicked me a bunch when I was on the ground. They told me that if they ever see me at school again that I wouldn’t get a second chance to leave town. Then they just left. I just laid there. I couldn’t really move that well and I didn’t want to. I just cried on the lawn until I fell asleep, I think. I mean, it’s not more than I deserved. They only broke my body but bodies can heal. I remember when I was a kid and Princess Celestia showed me how her pet phoenix would die and turn to dust only to be reborn from the ashes, larger and more majestic than ever. The body doesn’t matter, my body doesn’t matter. But the soul, the soul is something that I had never seen broken until I took theirs. Even as they beat me all I could remember was the euphoria I felt when I ripped their souls from their bodies and consumed them, leaving the bodies as a vessel for my essence. I felt that power again when they started hitting me. It was calling out to me and I tried to reach out for it out of fear, but it was empty power. I don’t know if it was a shadow from the past, a memory, or something worse. One thing is for sure, I can never return to Equestria. If I go back, and I give into that power again, I don’t think I’d be me anymore. In that moment I felt a tug toward Equestria. It might have been in my mind but I can’t be sure. It felt so real. If I did go back, I fear I’d be an even worse monster than I was at the school. That’s why I couldn’t defend myself, not that I would have been able to do much. I wanted to hurt them, to make them bow down and beg for more punishment. But when the power wasn’t there, when I realized what I was trying to do, I died a bit inside. I didn’t fight them. It kept me sane and gave me something to focus on rather than how pathetic I felt. When they left I cried because a part of me was still reaching for that power. I hate myself for that. I don’t know how long I lay there. I simply slipped between focusing on the pain and defeatedly reaching for the power to hurt those who hurt me. Then the girls came. They must have seen the others leave because they got there early, I think. As soon as I felt someone touching me, I thought it was the gang coming back for more. I was torn between wanting them to and fear that they would. Then I realized it was the girls. At first I was stunned that someone actually cared enough to help, but that confused thought was quickly replaced because they had helped me before. But I didn’t want them to see me hurt, and in my daze I worried that they might even be able to tell that I had been reaching for that dark ethereal power. It took a moment, but those thoughts passed, and I was surprised to find that them being there for me helped me stop clawing for revenge. Even now, hours after that experience, I find it strange how much life’s circumstances can change in a week. This group of girls whom I wanted to crush, whom I enjoyed splitting apart, had worked their way into my mind and my heart and now I found their presence calming. Even remembering how they cared and worried about me brings me a small amount of comfort. Actually, part of that might be the painkillers. The first person that I really noticed was Fluttershy. She washed my eyes out with some bottled water. I was pretty out of it, but I think Rainbow Dash held me down to keep me from moving and AJ tore up her shirt to stop some bleeding. Pinkie gave me a hug, bless Pinkie, and Rarity called an ambulance and the police. I think I kept trying to say I was fine, but it just came out as me mumbling from shock. The ambulance took me to the hospital and did a good job of patching me up even though I didn’t have insurance. The only ‘major’ injury was the fracture in my hand. They wanted me to use a brace for a few weeks. When the cops tried to interview me, I lied. I said I didn’t know who did it because, well, I didn't think that they deserved to be punished. If anything I think I had it coming to me, doubly so because I had been feeling so good the past few days after being such a bad person. All the girls were appalled at my decision. I think they would have yelled at me until I gave in if it wasn’t for the doctors shooing them out immediately. But if they had known anything about the sins that I committed, then they probably would have beaten me the rest of the way to death. It made me want to tell them, but I couldn’t do that to them after they’d been so generous. It was Fluttershy, of all people, who almost got me to talk. She said that if it was any of them that were hurt that she knew I would want to catch the bullies. She was completely right, and I knew how much it would hurt if I was standing there looking at Fluttershy, or Rarity, or any of the other girls in a hospital bed. It would have made me so mad that I would probably reach for that power. I felt it calling to me as she talked. But I didn’t tell the police. The kids who assaulted me hadn’t done anything that I hadn’t done worse to them, and when the police left I explained that to the girls. They were really mad at me and it made me feel just horrid for thinking that way and making them feel bad. They didn’t get that I couldn’t hurt others anymore because of my mistakes. I can’t make anyone else suffer for me, even if it’s punishment. The girls don’t understand that. They don’t get it. But eventually they said they’d give it some time to try and see it my way. The worst part is, that not where it ended. Today, Friday, the girls came by to bring me my school work and asked if I needed anything from the trailer. I almost said no, I was almost strong enough to say I was fine. But I needed you, Diary. I needed to tell you how I felt and what was going on so that at least someone would understand. I asked for a few clothes and I asked Applejack to get you from under the floorboard. I probably should have asked Rainbow Dash — she’s the element of loyalty after all — but I was worried that she might tell someone on accident. AJ’s loyal, and she’s smart, smarter than the others give her credit for, and she’s used to a little sister trying to pry secrets out of her. She was walking back to the hospital alone. The other girls had gone with her to the trailer to help clean up, but split up when they were done. The same group that attacked me, or part of it anyway, jumped AJ on the way to the hospital. She ran from them, but they caught her a few blocks away. While she put up a fight, she was pretty beat up when they brought her in. Apparently, an ambulance saw the fight while headed to the hospital and managed to scare them off with sirens and their speaker system. She came in with the ambulance, still holding my things. She didn’t let anyone touch my stuff, neither the jerks nor the hospital staff, even when she was being stitched up. She’ll be fine. No broken bones, only a couple cuts and bruises, but she is pissed. When the police came in to question her, she gave every name and could tell them where she punched each and every one of them. I sounded like she had hurt them more than than they hurt her. She made sure they questioned her while in my room. She wanted to make a point. I guess she did. I had caused more pain and suffering because of more mistakes. If I had just told the police who attacked me in the first place all this could have been avoided. I hate this. Sleeping seven feet away from me is someone who fought off a gang to protect you, Diary. She knew how important you were to me and she could have been seriously hurt helping us. It’s all my fault, if I had just told the police... Screw it. I have the investigating officer’s number. I’m calling her tomorrow to name every one of the bastards who attacked me. It’s one thing to hurt me when I deserve it, but it’s another to hurt my friends, especially when they are just trying to help. I’ve let this get way out of control. I need a plan. I thought I could just ride it out, but seeing AJ with stitches in her face. I can’t see something like that again. Tomorrow I’m coming up with a plan to stop this. Goodnight, Diary. -I love you, and I promise that I won’t ever let anyone hurt you or my other friends again. I’ll do my best to always be here for all of you.