//------------------------------// // This is why I prefer dogs // Story: Gong Yi Tem Ponies // by TrombonePlayingPony //------------------------------// After a few hours of hard labor building the dining hall I was left to my own devices. It didn’t take long for me to find Ben and Kat again as they were currently messing around in the training grounds. From what I could tell where I was standing on the patio, Ben was doing something silly and Kat was laughing at it. Unfortunately this just brought up more memories of similar situations with my own sister, which lasted until I finally bashed my head into the support beam I had been leaning on. Master Gongniu said not to dwell on the negative. Doing so will only cloud my judgement. Another memory of Rachel riding on my shoulders surfaced before I slammed that one into the beam as well. If that’s the case though, why can’t I stop thinking about my family?! “Penny for your thoughts?” I let out surprised gasp and looked over to see Kat, floating right next to me. I quickly shook my head before returning to leaning on the support instead of killing myself with it. “It’s nothing really. You guys just remind me of the kind of thing my sister and I once were.” Ben and Kat looked at each other in surprise. “Wow, that’s something, considering we barely know each other.” “Ya, but the feeling is there, you know? You guys just have that sibling air about you. It’s hard to explain really.” “In all honesty,” Kat said looking between me and Ben, “I’m just trying to make up for everything.” I shrugged. “Makes sense. You guys didn’t really get much time together and all.” “Don’t feel down Ally!” Pinkie suddenly said as she jumped on my back. “Pinkie?! Where the heck did you come from?” “I could sense your frowny face from Sugarcube Corner so I came to cheer you up! Silly Ally, don’t forget what my element is.” “It’s laughter, but why are you asking me?” replied Kat with an arched brow. I shifted Pinkie to a less strenous part of my back before speaking. “She means me. You know, Allan, Ally. Kinda similar, at least closer together than Kat and Ally is.” Ben pointed at his sister. “Kat’s not her real name.” She nodded. “My real name is Allison, but I changed it to Kat after I came to Equestria. It suited the character I was dressed as.” “Huh. I wasn’t even dressed like this before coming here. By the way Pinkie, as soft as you are can you get off my back now?” “Not until you are happy again!” I glanced at the horizon to see the sun going down, giving me the perfect excuse. “Pinkie, it’s getting late. How about you go home and come back in the morning to cheer me up?” She hummed about it dramatically in thought before hopping off. “Alright mister, but don’t try to pull the wool over the eyes of Pinkamena Diane Pie!” I chuckled. “Noted.” And then off she disappeared into whatever subspace she had claimed as her own. “I will never understand that mare,” Ben said with a sigh. “It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it,” Kat added with a smile. “But back to you Allan. Don’t give up on seeing your family again.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “The multiverse is big. It’s vast, and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.” I let what she said sink in for a moment before nodding. “Thanks Kat. I guess you guys are gonna need a place to stay? We’ve got extra cots.” Ben shrugged. “I’ve slept on worse.” “I can imagine.” I said as I led the way into the temple. * * * The next morning turned out to be an early riser for me, and this time it wasn’t Master Gongniu waking me up for training. This time the scroll decided that now would be a perfect time to spit it’s usual display of flashing lights whenever a Shen Gong Wu is revealed. “Ugh, where’s the sleep mode on this thing?” I muttered from under the covers as I desperately tried to shut the thing up with one of my hands. Eventually I gave up and threw the covers off before pulling open the scroll. “What’s with the lightshow?” Kat groggily asked, apparently having been woken up. It’s strange how even like that she’s still floating….come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve actually seen her touch the ground. Oh well, something to ask when this scroll isn’t bugging the heck out of me. “Sorry about that hermosa. This thing kind of has a mind of its own whenever a Shen Gong Wu reveals itself.” I watched the picture shift a move along with the words as usual to reveal a set of claws, poetically called the Golden Tiger Claws, that apparently allowed the user to transport anywhere. “Well, definitely can’t let Flim and Flam get there hands on that one.” I got up, quickly strapping the scroll on my back. “Duty calls.” “Would you like some help?” Ben asked from off to the side. He didn’t look much different this morning, but that’s probably due to his hair always looking like a rat’s nest. I shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Besides, you owe me for losing the Rio Reverso.” I poked a finger at Ben with a smirk. “Oi! Blame the Voices not...oh shut up Laughter,” Ben growled at...nobody? I just shrugged again, too tired to decipher the insanity that was Ben. “Whatever. Same body, same problems. Now you guys coming cause I gotta move.” As I said this, the Longi Kite appeared on my back, the scroll taking it’s place inside the dragon’s mouth. Kat snapped her fingers, instantly wearing her proper attire. “Let’s get to it! I can’t wait to see what these ‘shen gong wu’ are capable of.” Ben just shrugged. “You just want an excuse to hit something.” “Hey, as long as she’s hitting Flim or Flam she can do what she wants. The scrolls pointing north of here so lets get going.” I flew out the door, Kat following right behind with Ben...somehow actually keeping up with us on foot?! And he says Pinkie is the confusing one. * * * “Explain to me why you brought this girl with you?” Wuya hissed as she circled around the brothers. “She smells like cat litter.” “Ms. Katnappe here will be just what we need to take Allan down now that he is being trained to fight and use whatever that magic was.” “That was not magic you fools! It was chi. An energy that is a part of your very soul and when used properly can turn a great warrior into an unstoppable force!” “Oh please.” Katnappe spoke up, her in the middle of filing her hoof. “This ‘Allan’ you mentioned sounds like some kid pretending to play hero. How you two idiots managed to lose to him is beyond me.” “Do not underestimate our foe. He is destined to become our greatest enemy should we not stop him in ti-wait! I’m sensing a new Shen Gong Wu!” She gasped. “It is the Golden Tiger Claws.” “Me-ow. Sounds like just the accessory for yours truly.” “This is more than a mere hair clip, you idiotic girl! These claws allow the user to be transported anywhere in the world. With them in our grasp, we will be invincible.” She maniacally laughed as the brothers gathered their bots and moved. Each pony was picked up by one until they got to Katnappe who got up in the robot’s face, hissing “Touch the hooves and you become a frying pan. Understand?” If robots could sweat, this one would be soaked as he quickly nodded his head before delicately grabbing her around the barrel and flying after the others. Wuya ran a ghostly hand down her mask-like face. “These are the idiots I have to work with?” * * * The scroll continued to point north until we reached the mountains that line the northern side of Equestria. Once there, the arrow began to spin like a top. “Apparently we are here, but I don’t see anything. Do you?” Kat peered out into the dense fog all around us, but only grumbled. “I can’t see a merde thing. What about you Ben? Perhaps you could actually put that watch to use?” “Not happening and you know why,” he grumbled. “But no, I can barely see you guys.” I landed and put the kite away before pulling out the sword. “Sword of the Storms!” The wind cut through the fog, revealing a cave before it was quickly re-concealed by the weather. “Guess that explains it. Shall we?” Ben and Kat both nodded as we entered through the thick haze. “This is just like those Daring Do books Rainbow made me read. This is gonna be sweet!” We entered the cave, the rock surface slick with moisture from the fog. It felt like the cave was going on forever until we hit a dead end. “Well now I’m confused.” Kat suddenly threw out her hand and the wall instantly was blasted into pieces. “Better?” I stood there agape for a few seconds before shaking myself from my daze. “Uh, ya. I think so.” As the dust cleared, a huge cavern with light streaming in on high was revealed. In the center of a hot spring laid the Golden Tiger Claws on a small stone. I took a step in before stopping. “Alright, there’s no way this is going to be that easy. I don’t have that good of luck.” “You would be right in that regard.” Flim mocked from above as he, his brother, and some mare in a black cat suit were dropped in by an army of barrel bots right in front of us. “Now, we’ll be taking the tiger claws.” I pulled back out the Longi Kite. “You two think you can handle these jokers?” Ben reached into his back pocket and pulled out what looked to be a PDA….that is before it changed into a bow and arrow. “We got ‘em.” He pulled back on the orange energy ‘string’ and fired, instantly head shotting one of the bots. “Bull’s eye!” Kat reached to her side and pulled a sword out of nowhere. “You get those claws, we’ll handle them.” I nodded and leapt into the air, only to suddenly have a wingless dragon on my back and a purring pony picking her teeth with one of the claws attached to her hoof. “Nuh uh uh! No cheating.” I put away the kite and tried sweeping her hooves out from under her but she was too fast, getting behind me and bucking hard enough to make an Apple proud. The cat pony almost seemed disappointed. “Really boys? This was what you asked me to help you deal with?” I was about to get up when half of the remains of one of the brothers bots fell, forcing me to roll out of the way. She can play all she wants. Those claws are mine. I got up and leapt onto the stones scattered about the hot spring, trying to avoid robot parts, cat claws, and scalding hot water. Meanwhile, Kat and Ben were tearing the bots apart. Ben had taken the high ground on the rocks, knocking back arrow after arrow into the bots. Kat went for the direct approach, slashing and stabbing through the droids like butter. “This the best you got?” she asked with a wicked grin. “These things are nothing! I bet a breezy could build better robots!” “Don’t antagonize the bots!” Ben yelled. “They’re already creepy enough as it is without you angering them.” The cat pony stopped treating me like a ball of yarn for a moment to take notice of the destruction those two were causing before groaning. “Do I have to do everything around here?” she grabbed her saddlebags in her mouth and tossed them at Kat’s feet. A few adorable kittens climbed out, mewing up at her. “What the?!” She said at the sight. “Cats? I hate cats!!” “Well than I bet you’ll love my magically altered supercats. Kitties, get her!” Suddenly the cats eyes glowed red and they leapt at Kat, clawing and biting at her. Kat yelled out in pain as they attacked. She reached into her jacket, but one of the little demons took the chance to bite her exposed wrist. “Ahh!!” She screamed and that strange device fell out of her hand and into the depths. “My sonic!!” “I got it!” Ben called as he started racing down the rocks. Never thought I’d actually get to see a monkey’s uncle, because Ben would have made the primates proud with his swift movements. Unfortunately, that left Kat buried under the furballs and me without any backup. I turned and growled at the cat pony. “Alright, crazy cat lady. You’re starting to get on my nerves.” I pulled out the sword and eye, each taking up one of my hands. The pony actually hissed at me in response. “It’s Katnappe. And that’s what Flim and Flam hired me for. The way they were talking though, you were some great warrior.” “Hey! I’m still in training!” She put a hoof to her mouth and yawned, only pissing me off more. “Eye of Dashi!” I fired a few lightning bolts at her, but she dodged each one with her, dare I say it, cat-like reflexes. “Sword of the Storms!” The blast of wind managed to make contact, but before she went anywhere she dug her claws into the stone she was standing on. Once the wind had died down, she flipped the hair out of her eyes and grinned with her weird canines a pony should not have. “Ha! Is that all?” Alright, if Wu won’t work… I leapt at her, swinging the sword, only for it to go right through her. This gave her plenty of an opening as she basically tossed me aside like a used tissue, slamming into Kat but causing her demon kittens to go flying. “This was almost too easy.” She started to make her way toward the claws while I was thrown off by Kat, who growled dangerously at the pony. “You are so dead, lady!!” Kat’s entire body coated with her aura as she shot forward with enough speed to make Superman go: “Damn!” She slammed Katnappe head on into the rock wall, taking pleasure in the grunt of pain she received in kind. Her tail swung around and reached underneath Kat’s arm, tickling her and loosening her grip. Once she was on the ground she took up a fighting stance before smirking. “Sorry, little hero’s helper, but it looks like we’re about to win.” I looked to see Flim and Flam basically a breath away from the claws. Maldita Sae! Could really use one of those miracles Kat was talking about right now. And one did come in the form of Ben bursting out of the water between the brothers, Kat’s device held high as he shouted out “I got it!” He looked over and saw the claws. “Looks like I got these too.” “Not so fast boy! Third Arm Sash!” The sash wrapped around Flam’s barrel came to life before swiping at Ben. “Yo!” he yelped as he ducked. “Watch it with those! Gonna hurt somebody...namely me!” Ben dodged another slash, landing just within reaching distance of the claws. “Mine!” he yelled as he lunged for them. “Fist of Tebigong!” Flim called, as his armored forehoof slammed into the stone and sent the claws into the air. I quickly bounded across the stone and jumped for them, seeing Kat doing the same along with Katnappe. Ben and the brothers jumped practically in unison as well, all of us meeting at a single point in the air and grabbing the claws. We all landed on the stone as the claws began to glow, the usual tell tale sign of a showdown. Ben smirked. “Looks like we got us a Xiaolin Showdown!” Everyone else holding onto the claws gave him a “dafuq you just say?” look. “Can we borrow some Wu, Allen?” “Uh… sure.” I tossed him the Eye of Dachi before turning and handing Kat the Sword of the Storms. I pulled out the Ruby of Ramses for myself. “Explain to me how you know what’s going on?” “Are you kidding me? That show was awesome! How could I not remember it? ...well save for the part that most of that knowledge is forever burned into my brain by constant medical experiments, but I digress. We wager our Eye of Dachi, Sword of Storms, and Ruby of Ramses against your Third Arm Sash, Two Ton Tunic, and Rio Reverso. The challenge: a military obstacle course! First one across the finish line wins!” “Sounds good to us.” Flim said as he handed the Rio Reverso to Katnappe. “Now then…” “Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!” The entire area warped around them into a massive military encampment right out of World War Two. Tanks and planes were flying and bombing all around them and gunfire could be heard not too far away. The scenery made Kat smile. “Ah, she reminds me o’ home,” she said with a faux Scottish accent. “Your home is a dump than.” Katnappe hissed. “Now, are we going to start this thing or what?” I just grinned before nudging Ben with my elbow. “Hey, you remember the phrase to start this as well?” “Oh you bet your butt I do!” Ben raised his arms up theatrically and yelled, “Gong Yi Tan Pai!!” And off everyone darted toward the first obstacle, which was the classic wall climb. Flam made full use of his own Shen Gong Wu to pull himself up the wall with ease while everyone else was basically left to climb. “Third Arm Sash!” He even made a show of just laying back and letting the arm climb up, pulling him along. Ben made a big leap from the base, nearly making it all the way to the top in that single bound. Surprisingly, Kat wasn’t using her powers at all and was seemingly content with just trying to climb the wall like normal. That left Ben and Flam far ahead of everyone else as they moved onto the next obstacle while everyone else was still climbing. The next one turned out to be the crawling beneath barbed wire challenge, only this time, electricity was easily noticeable as it crackled along the lines. “Man,” Ben awed at the sight, “I’m more sadistic than I thought. I blame my bio father for this.” The two dived beneath the wire into the dirt just as the others made it over the wall. Katnappe growled, seeing that Ben was so far ahead before pulling the Rio Reverso out of her saddlebag and aiming it at him. “Rio Reverso!” She mumbled through the handle, the shot barely missing Ben and instead striking the dirt, turning it to stone. “Hatchat!” Ben blathered in surprise at the blast. “Watch it! You could hit someone with that, ya puta!” “That’s the idea shrimp! Rio Rev-” “Sword of the Storms!” Kat swung the blade, knocking Katnappe off the wall with a gust of wind and breaking her concentration. “Don’t mess with my brother!” Meanwhile, Flim charged at the barbed wire head on and yelled “Two Ton Tunic!” The simple shirt expanded into massive armor which he used to barrel through the barbed wire, cutting a hole through for his team. “Well now that’s just cheating,” Ben commented as he pulled out Kat’s device. “Just think and shoot, right?” he muttered to himself. He extended the tip and activated it against the wire, the electricity shorting out not long after. “Ha ha! Gotta love this space stuff!” “Allons-y!” Kat cried as she crawled past him. “Wait how did you…?” Ben looked over to see, Katnappe sitting on the ground, her eyes spinning and looking like she was about to puke. “Oh, that’s how.” “Well don’t just sit there niño. Get moving!” I told Ben as I crawled past him on the other side. “Imma comin!” he said as he crawled even faster, catching up to them faster than I thought he would. “So, plan here. Those three are definitely going to cheat, but we got an ace up our sleeve… I think.” “Oh? And what might that be?” I picked myself up once on the other side before leaning down and grabbing Ben by the arm to pick him up. Kat grabbed his arm on the other side. “If the layout stuck to how I tried to make it, the final challenge should be in archery….that or somehow it became the final run from that one episode of Family Guy. I’m hoping for the former, though.” “Well good thing you’ve got the Eye than. You start firing away when we get there.” We all ran toward the next obstacle, the damned tire run. Flim and Flam were already flopping away with the round devils straddled to their hooves. Kat chuckled a little. “Amateurs.” Seems that particular challenge was designed for those on two legs rather than four, giving us the time we needed to catch up. We all reached the next obstacle which was… a set of rope swings over lava?! I shot Ben a glare as we stood on the threshold of the pit. “What? Like I said, blame dad!” “Not even dad was this cruel,” Kat said as she knocked a rock into the river of lava. “Then again, you wouldn’t know that. Better get to work.” “Allow me. Ruby of Ramses!” I pulled the ropes toward us, making grabbing each one in succession easy and putting the first rope right in front of us. “Ladies first.” “Such a gentleman,” Kat said with a roll of her eyes. Ben put his hands behind his head as Kat swung across, making a nice backflip as she jumped off the rope to the other side. “I really need to rethink this stuff sometimes,” Ben grumbled. “I think some of the Voices’ ideas got mixed into this.” “I’m afraid to ask if it was el gato culo or another one. Anyway, your chariot awaits.” I pulled the rope back using the ruby, handing it to Ben. Ben waved his hand dismissively. “Nah I’m good. I’m gonna jump it.” I opened my mouth to question his decision before remembering him jumping up a thirty foot high wall at the start of all this. “Suit yourself.” I grabbed the rope and swung, landing with a roll at the end before glancing at the competition. Katnappe had made it over easily enough, as well as Flam with his Third Arm Sash. That just left Flim as he dangled from the rope, apparently having lost all momentum. Ben took a few steps back and then ran straight to the cliff. “Geronimo!” he yelled as he took the leap, landing just by the tips of his toes on the other side. “Woo!! Let’s do that again!” “How about after you shoot all the targets and keep evil from gaining the ability to teleport anywhere in existence?” I called back as I ran to the archery range. Kat was already working on it, though it was clear she was more of a melee kind of girl. I began picking up stones with the ruby while Flam did the same with his sash. Katnappe on the other hand seemed to be throwing balls of yarn that in mid air would suddenly extend a mass of spikes. They tore through one target in about the most gruesome way someone could rip apart cardboard. Ben chuckled as he stepped up with his bow in hand. “Stupid girl, doesn’t get how this challenge is won. Allan, Kat, stand close to me.” He pulled back the string and three energy arrows appeared in the bow. I gave him a strange look before taking a few steps in his direction. A glance over at the other side showed another target down. “Ben, anytime now.” Kat did the same and Ben let the arrows fly, striking all three of our targets dead on. Instantly, a large trapdoor appeared before us and we fell down a massive slide of muck and gunk. Through twists and turns we rode, until it finally deposited us right at the final final challenge: The demolition challenge! “Just how I planned it!” Ben cried from the bottom of the pile we all made up. I just groaned before pushing my face out Ben’s tangled mess he calls hair. “Hermosa, not that you aren’t heavy as I would never call a lady fat, but would you mind getting off?” “Hold on,” Kat pushed herself up, almost cutting into my cheek with the Sword of Storms. “Whoops, sorry, not used to such a big weapon.” I rolled off Ben to the opposite side to allow him to stand. “Hey, we’re in the lead and in one piece. Like Master Gongniu said, look at the positives.” Suddenly another trap door in the ceiling opened and Katnappe and Flam dropped in, apparently having left Flim to hang above the lava pool. They landed about the same way we did. “Get off of me!” Katnappe hissed before tossing Flam aside. “I swear, if you broke my hooficure, I will feed you to my cats!” “Speak of the devil,” Ben said before turning to the objective, which was a mass open field. “Now for the fun! The final challenge: cause as much destruction as you can within the time frame!” “What time frame?” asked Kat. “That time frame,” Ben said pointing at a floating timer that was counting down. It was already at forty-five seconds. I looked up at the clock than around at the field before turning to Ben. “You get this from Rath?” “No, I snuck onto a military base when I was eight and ended up breaking their fifty year record on this challenge.” “Huh. Well I guess we should get started. Ruby of Ramses!” I grabbed large chunks of the earth and started ripping them out of the ground before tossing them aside. One particular chunk landed right next to Catnape that was easily twenty times her size. “This’ll be easy with what we are up agai-” “Rio Reverso!” Suddenly the rock began to glow and fall apart, revealing a Triceratops skeleton underneath! The bones began to shift and put themselves back together before the layers of skin and muscle returned. The completed dinosaur took one look around and began rampaging, tearing up the field as Katnappe just sat their smirking. “He’s on our team.” Kat glared at Catnape then turned to Ben and me. “Huddle up, boys. I got a plan. Sword of the Storms!” She started to swirl her blade out into the field, creating a massive twister. “Allan!” she shouted over the winds, “I need you to condense this into a psychic field! As small as you can!” “What you said sounds like Twilight gibberish but I think I got the meaning! Ruby of Ramses!” I wrapped the twister in the rubies red magic, the wind seemingly fighting against me as the ruby pulled this way and that. “Woah, she’s a fighter!” I continued to push the twister into a smaller and smaller space as Kat turned to Ben. “Ben, use that eye thingy and fill it full of lightning!” “As you command madam general!” Ben quipped. “Eye of Dashi!” The pendant lit up and fired bolt after bolt of lighting into the condensed storm, creating a deep darkness within the field. “Just a little more….and you may wanna brace yourselves.” Katnappe and Flam seemed to get what was about to happen and ducked behind the now transfixed Triceratops. I took a moment to pull a bit of stone out of the earth, creating a makeshift wall for us as I continued to fight the wild energy. “Anytime you wanna say go Kat! This thing ain’t gonna stay balled up forever!” “One more bolt Ben!” “One more coming up!” Using both hands, Ben fired one last bolt of lightning into the storm. Thinking quickly, Kat threw herself onto both of us, sending us to the ground as the bubble burst, and my hearing quickly disappeared. I could feel the force of the explosion, but I couldn’t see or hear anything. When the roar of wind and destruction died down, I glanced up. The timer was at zero, flashing like a VCR you could never figure out how to set. The triceratops had somehow been turned back into a skeleton, the force of the blast apparently having torn the flesh from his body, though Katnappe and Flam seemed in one piece behind it as they trembled. Kat said something but it sounded muffled with my damaged hearing. “What?!” Kat rolled her eyes and I saw her glowing hand touch my ears. “Can you hear me now?” she practically yelled into my ear. “Aye! Yes, I hear you!” I stuck a finger in my ear before looking over at Ben. “Ben, you still there?” Ben was just sitting there staring off into space. “That….was….AWESOME!!!!! Did you see that?! The entire field just exploded!! Holy cow!! That was amazing!!” He pointed both arms at Kat. “Thank you Dr. Kat!” With that, everything shifted back into the hot springs we had began in, the Golden Tiger Claws in one hand with the ruby in the other. I watched the brothers and Katnappe flee as bots carried them off, Flim looking rather singed. I chuckled and waved at them with the claws. “I’ll see you guys next time you need a butt kicking!” Ben looked at the claws in a little wonder. “So...these are the Golden Tiger Claws, huh? If I remember right, they allow for teleportation of some kind.” “Yep, though probably not that amazing of a power to you since your hermana can teleport.” “Seems kinda pointless to me, but to each their own I suppose. We should probably get back to Ponyville. Let’s take ‘em for a spin.” I shrugged before collecting all of the other Wu and raising the claws into the air. “Golden Tiger Claws!” I swung, the claws catching on… something as they tore the air itself, leaving behind a hole in space that had some trippy effects inside of it. “Woah...trippy,” Ben said as he leaned into the hole. “I think you should lead, Allan. You got the claws, after all.” “You’re just afraid it’ll dump you in a volcano or something.” Either way, I jumped in, gravity apparently not existing in whatever strange space the claws opened up to. A few moments later I slashed again, gravity reasserting itself as I fell out into the training grounds of the temple. “Ow,” Ben said. “I think I landed on a rock.” “No, you landed on me,” shouted a familiar voice from underneath Ben. He looked down to see a familiar lavender coat. “....oh crap.” “I see you all return successful.” Master Gongniu walked up as neutral faced as ever. Kat picked herself up while I got up and bowed. “Yes. The Golden Tiger Claws aren’t going to be used by evil anytime soon.” “Excellent. I trust that your new friends helped you in this effort?” “We blew it up!” Ben said just as Twilight blasted him off. “Ow!” “Twilight, what are you doing here? Don’t tell me you are here to bug me to study my Wu again.” “Of course not! At least, not right now.” She said as she brushed herself off with a magically made feather duster. “I heard there were other humans and wanted to see them for myself. Perhaps ask some questions.” Ben groaned as he got up, rubbing his head. “Ow. Geeze Twilight, watch what you’re….what the?!” He just stared at Twilight in shock. “What….how...where….where are your wings?!” “Wings? I’m not an alicorn. And how do you know who I am?” It took me about a total of two seconds to put the pieces together before I facepalmed with the claws. You telling me she… Dios mio, Equestria is in more danger than with Wuya out and about. “We both know who you are, Twilight Sparkle,” Kat said as she dusted her jacket off. “My brother and I both come from alternate Equestrias. Where he comes from, you’re an alicorn.” “Why in the world would I be an alicorn? It just doesn’t make any sense! There are already three princesses and I don’t see any reason why I would be crowned. What achievement did I accomplish to gain such an honor?” “I don’t know.” Ben shrugged. “I came in after that. The only thing I know is you beat a demon after he blew up your library.” Her eye twitched. “Blew… up… my library?! Well whatever Tartarus spawn that dared to do that deserved whatever he got!” “You did get a castle in return. Nyx sure likes it.” She huffed. “Just who the buck is Nyx?” “Your daughter.” And that’s when Twilight.exe crashed as her eye continued to spasm. I waved a hand in front of her face, getting no response. “Wow, you actually broke her. That’s something I never thought I’d see.” “Does it help if I say that she’s adopted?” Her head turned side to side incredibly slowly. “I… I think I need to lie down.” She turned around and stumbled toward the front gates, looking like she just had way too many drinks. Ben looked at me. “I have one more to push it if you really want to screw with her.” I shrugged. “Hey, if it keeps her out of my hair for a few days, by all means. Besides, I still owe her for teleporting me to Appleoosa without warning me.” “Oi! Twilight! Nyx is also Nightmare Moon reincarnate and sealed Celestia and Luna in the sun and moon for a month!” Twilight toppled over, her legs twitching slightly as she tried to process this information. All the while I couldn’t stop snickering to myself. “Alright, I think that will do it.” I walked over and slung Twilight over my shoulder. “Best get her back home. You two gonna stick around or are you back on the job hunting for purple visor guy?” “Actually, why don’t you put Twilight down for a moment,” she said while glaring at Ben. “We have a few things to explain and who better to take notes for you than Princess Celestia’s number one student.” “Former student where I come from.” Kat glared at Ben again. “What? She graduated!” Twilight mumbled some nonsense into my back before raising her head with a crazed look in her eye. “Notes? I can do notes! Take care of the reincarnation of evil turned into a foal, now that’s crazy, but notes is plausible!” “To be fair, Nyx is pretty much a scaredy cat nowadays. But moving on. Twilight, you ready to take notes for your human about the grandest thing ever?” She suddenly teleported out of my grasp and appeared in Ben’s face, notepad and quill floating nearby. “Tell me!” Her face went to puppy dog eyes. “Pwease?” “Have you ever heard of the multiverse theory?” “The multiverse theory. A theory created by Flax Tegmark who believed that for every action, a new universe is created in which you did a different action in that particular instance. Why?” “The theory is true. Completely and utterly true.” “Wait, so… if it is true…” Uh oh, the Twilight gears are turning. She gasped and pointed at me. “You’re from another universe!” And than at Kat. “And you!” And Ben. “And you!” “Yep. Like I said, parallel. It get’s wonky or...how did you say it goes Kat?” “Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.” “Right, that. Oh, by the way,” he pulled that strange device out of his jacket. “Here’s your sonic bac--hey!” Twilight had taken the device and was ogling it with wonder. “And just what does this do? Shoot fire? Transform animals?” She Pinkie gasped. “Tear apart holes in space and time itself?!” Kat smiled like a troll. “It’s a screwdriver.” Twilight deadpanned at Kat. “Really?” “Well, a sonic screwdriver. I mostly use it when I need stealth as it can unlock pretty much anything.” With a sigh she floated it over to Kat. “Thank you, this was a gift after all.” Ben sighed. “Twilight, after we have you take down the notes, I’ll let you examine the omnitrix. Good enough trade?” “The omni-wha?” “This device on my wrist. It lets me transform into over a million different aliens.” Twilight seemed to hold back the urge to just grab his wrist before shaking her head rapidly. “Great! Kat, wanna start us off?” “Alright. Allan, you should be aware of a few others of us Displaced out there. One is known as Auric Fulcrum. He is a friend to all Displaced and knows most everything. If you ever need anything, try looking for his totem, a gold coin. Another good one is Gilgamesh, a warrior of the greatest calibur. You don’t find him, though. He finds you. Don’t worry, he’s practically the most friendly guy you’ll ever meet. Any questions so far?” “Uh… totem? Que es?” “Ah! A totem is a Displaced calling card, if you will. It’s their symbol that allows others to call upon them in time of need. Mine is a diamond while Ben’s is a police badge.” “Okay… do I need one? Cause I can’t just pop a hole in reality like you guys and visit other universes. At least, not right now.” I glanced down at the tiger claws. “Maybe with these, but that has yet to be tested and something tells me missing a universe isn’t the most pleasant experience.” “That is up to you,” Ben interrupted. “That’s only if you feel you want to help the others out there. It won’t stop them from showing up sometimes, but you wouldn’t be forced out of here. It’s personal choice.” “Hmm… I guess I’ll make one, though I’m still not sure how the whole traversing universes will work. Anyway, you were listing off Displaced that were friendly. Any bad ones?” “Oh yeah,” Kat said with a shiver. “There’s this really dark one, Makuta Teridax. Stay away from him at all costs. He does not take kindly to heroes and will destroy you at any chance he gets. I’ve heard of another known as Don, but that’s only through a friend. All I know is that he’s not the nicest guy and is more than willing to kill you if you piss him off. Other than that, there is the...Triad of Madness? I think that’s what they’re called. They’re this group who have special weapons with the ability to mess with your mind. They’re not right in the head either.” “Triad of Madness? Sounds like something out of one of those Silent Hill games.” “Wouldn’t know, not much of a gamer and Ben’s tech phobic.” “I am not!” “Shut up. Anyway, most Displaced will be there to help you, but more often than not it’ll be for favors. So be sure to judge their character well before accepting any help from them.” “Makes sense. Look out for Auric and Gilgamesh. Otherwise don’t sell your soul to the devils. Any other warnings?” “Mostly….keep yourself on the right path.” Kat looked at me solemnly. “Never forget who you are and do not let anger, or fear, or hatred deter you from your path. It will not end well and I speak from experience.” Master Gongniu spoke up. “As Xiaolin dragon of light, such things will threaten to throw you onto the path of darkness. This is something you cannot avoid however. You must learn to face these emotions, lest you be consumed by them.” “I understand master.” I turned to Kat and Ben. “So this it? Cause I have to admit, having you guys in a showdown with me made things interesting in all the best ways.” “Well thanks for tha--woah!” Ben was pulled over by Twilight who started examining the watch with fervor. “...good thing I’m used to this by now. Having the princesses as sisters really got me used to being stared at.” Twilight was too enthralled by the watch to really react to what Ben had said, her quill dancing across her notepad. I just shook my head. “You said you guys had totems. Would you mind if I got them just in case?” Kat smiled, producing a flawless diamond and a strange, circular badge in her hand. She tossed them to me. “Thanks. Hopefully I won’t have to call you for the end of the world or something, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.” “Don’t be afraid to if it happens though. It’s a recurring theme after all. Almost like a trope.” “What the heck is a trope?” asked Ben, whose arm was currently undergoing x-rays. “Don’t I know it. First thing I was told by the Wuya and her goons when they showed up was ‘We’ll plunge the world into ten thousand years of darkness.’ And that was while Nightmare Moon was standing next to them, plunging the world into darkness. If the next threat so much as says the word ‘darkness’ I might just ‘plunge’ myself off a cliff.” Kat and Ben looked at each other, then back at me. “Oh buddy, you have even yet to hit craziness yet. When you have some free time, look up the word ‘chaos’ and see what you find.” “I’ll keep that in mind, along with Princess Bookworm over here.” I nodded to Twilight, her magic currently surrounding Ben’s watch in a ball that would shrink and grow while changing various colors. “Just don’t touch any buttons, Twilight. You’ll let out a monster that I can’t control.” As he said this, Twilight was holding her hoof above one of the buttons. She slowly pulled her hoof away, looking rather disappointed. “I know you’re curious, but the Voices in my head don’t mind causing as much destruction as possible. Some even make Zeus shake in his sandals.” “Listen to him Twilight. The one that got out yesterday when I met them was bad enough. I’d hate to see just how crazy the others can get.” Twilight still seemed dejected but nodded nonetheless before letting go of Ben’s wrist. “Hey don’t pout. Tell ya what, when I get this thing in check, I’ll come back and you can go over the several hundred different aliens I have in this thing.” Twilight squeed and hugged Ben. “Oh thank you! You’re my new favorite human ever!” “Hey! I’m the one living here and keeping you safe from evil.” I spoke up. “Yes, but you don’t let me study your supposedly impossible to exist devices, now do you?” I just grumbled and rolled my eyes. “Now that’s curious. Why not let her study them? I mean, as long as she doesn’t clone them, I could see it being handy. You never know what hidden powers those things may have. She might be able to even come up with new uses for them. She’s Twilight “Mother bucking” Sparkle after all.” “I just… well… I don’t want her to… ugh! Fine. She can study my Wu, but the moment I see her trying to replicate any of their effects I’m cutting her off. Like I told her before, there’s enough of these things to deal with without her making more.” Twilight squeed and hugged Ben again. “And this is why you have a stalker,” Kat said with a smile. Ben deadpanned at her. “Shut up about Lyra.” “What, you mean the harp player? She seemed alright to me.” “She’s been stalking me since I was revived from stone. She immediately made herself my girlfriend, but now….well, she’s kinda nice...and smart...and kinda sexy….I said that out loud didn’t I?” “Si. You did. I don’t know about sexy, but some of these mares can be pretty adorable at times.” Ben chuckled. “I’ll bring Nyx too. Of course, the next time all depends on when our authors decide to do this again.” I looked at Ben like he had just lost his mind. “Our what now?” “It’s Ben, don’t question it.” “Riiiiiiight.” I then muttered. “Add that to the list of ‘mierda that can’t be explained.’” Kat and Ben both shared a laugh, only for us to be interrupted by a loud gasp. We looked over to see a tall, elderly man in purple with a oval visor on his head. “Ten!” Kat and Ben were both on their feet. “Eon!” “Drat! I thought I had finally gotten rid of you two! You won’t stop me!!!” He put out a hand and a portal opened up. He ran right through it. “I will destroy you two yet!!” “Get back here!” Ben shouted as he lunged. Unfortunately, the portal closed before he got near, forcing him to land unceremoniously on the ground. “Dang it! He got away again!” I cocked my head to the side. “What was his deal? He sounded more stereotypically evil than the Flim Flam brothers do.” “That was Eon and he’s trying to get to our Earth,” Kat explained as she helped Ben to his feet. “Alright… not really sure what that means, but I’ll assume its bad.” I put a hand to my chin for a moment before snapping my fingers and pulling the scroll off. With one tug the entire paper became unravelled all over the ground and I began looking over it. “That jerk wants to find his way to the Earth we came from so he can erase me and Kat from existence.” “Well that’s not good. Let me just find… ah hah! Anyone got a pair of scissors?” Twilight instantly ported a pair in and handed them to me. “Gracias.” I gently cut out a piece of the scroll before holding it between my hands. “Let’s see if these dragon powers are anything to scoff at. Light!” The paper glowed for a moment before dying off and I took a look at it. “Perfect.” I handed it to Kat. “There. You need my help, you can call me with that. Hopefully by than I’ve figured out multiverse travel.” “No problem at all, but if you’ll excuse our rude exit, we gotta stop Eon!” “Go right ahead. Hate to have the two of you wiped from existence after all.” I waved my hands where Eon’s portal had once been as if gesturing to a door. “I’d open the way for you, but… you know.” Ben made a wave motion with his hand and a portal appeared. “We got it covered, Allan. Good luck with Wuya and the freakos. Ack!” He held his head for a moment before looking back at me. “Ugh, for some reason, Superiority said to talk to Applejack about that cat pony. No idea why.” “Well you guys have certainly given me a bucket list to go through. Good thing Twilight was here to write it all down.” She gave me a nod before tearing out a few sheets of her notebook and handing them to me. “Gracias, chica.” “Su bienvenida, mi amigo.” She grinned. “Merde, you two are on the same level. That’s freaky.” “Hey, you’re not the only one freaked out. Still thinks it’s weird there’s some strange form of spanish in Equestria.” I shook my head. “Enough about that though. You two have got a plane to catch.” “Right, come on Ben! We gotta stop that salop!” “Let’s go! See ya Allan!” Ben jumped through the portal. “Allons-y!” Kat yelled as she followed, the portal closing right behind her. Twilight and I just stood there for a moment before Master Gongniu spoke up. “It has been a long day, young apprentice. You can begin on your ‘bucket list’ in the morning. After training and chores of course.” I groaned but turned and bowed nonetheless. “Yes master.” Twilight nudged me with a hoof. “Yes?” “Sooooo…. can I study one of your Wu now?” She said with a smile and a glitter in her eye. I sighed before pulling out the Ruby of Ramses and handing it to her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She darted off, leaving me to wonder just how in the world that would ever become a princess and a mother. Eh, maybe I’ll get lucky and none of that will happen. I chuckled. Who am I kidding? I have the worst luck.