"The court is once again in session," said the disembodied voice. "We shall now hear from the next member of the tribunal."
Once again the sound of a switch being thrown stabbed the silence. There, under a light, seating behind her desk, sat a light cornflower blue furred earth pony. with silver white hair and magenta eyes.
"Greetings everyone, my name is Shoeshine while others call me Linky," she said. "I handle the different sound effects that you hear in the show, specifically the clopping noises one hears when ponies walk."
There were some snickers and one loud guffaw from the darkness.
"Oh will you grow up! Stop acting so foalish!" shouted Shoeshine.
Shoeshine cleared her throat, "As you can clearly see, Pinkie Pie has her own set of sound effects, from her parties, to her party cannon, to the sound of her hair poofing up, her squee, and other various effects. What drives me crazy though is not having the sound effect for her popping up on screen, be it on top, on the side, or on the bottom of the fourth wall, or from any kind of container that is nearby. She mocks me by not walking or running like regular ponies! I am proud of the sound of my clopping..."
Laughter erupted all over and Shoeshine blushed.
"Ah forget it! I vote guilty!" said Shoeshine.
The light faded once more, and a red '8' illuminated and floated next to Pinkie.
Up next was a cream colored earth pony with a blue and pink mane.
"Hi everyone, my name is Sweetie Drops, aka Bon Bon. It is my job to maintain the sweetness of the show. In line with this, and upon seeing a dramatic shift in Pinkie's personality in season four, the episode Filli Vanilli being the biggest example, I have to vote guilty. Sorry Pinkie."
The light once again went out, and a red '4' illuminated and floated next to Pinkie.
Amethyst Star was up next.
"Hi everyone, just call me Ammy, and I represent the ratings system, specifically the MPAA and FCC. Since Pinkie's breaking of the fourth wall does not in anyway change our G rating, I abstain from the voting."
The light faded, and a grey number '9' floated above Pinkie.
The next member was a pegasus, with a teal like mane and yellow fur.
"Hi everyone, I'm Sunshower Raindrops, a.k.a. Drippy. I represent the color artists for the show. I have nothing against Pinkie Pie breaking the fourth wall since it does not, in any way, clash with the color palette of the show. The only pony I have a problem with would be Rarity. With her clothing design using obscure colors, it's driving me absolutely nuts! Colors like mauve, salmon, ochre, sarcoline, coquelicot, wenge and yes those are actual colors, look it up on google people!!!! I vote not guilty!"
Once again, the light faded, and a green number '12' floated next to Pinkie.
The next light focused on a gray pegasus with a yellow blonde mane. What was unnerving was the way her eyes were set. It wasn't the ditzy look like in the show.It was unnervingly normal.
"Greetings and salutations" rang a regal and cultured voice. "I am Ditzy Doo, and I, as a member of this tribunal, must now pass my judgment on Pinkie Pie, who sits here accused of breaking the fourth wall numerous times. Numerous people have speculated about my cutie mark. 'Why seven bubbles?' they ask. Well, let me clear it up for you. These, are not bubbles. These here are the seven circles of hell that the fourth wall has to go through after Pinkie Pie breaks it. The poor wall is now traumatized, and I would like to see a stop to it to give it a chance to heal. I vote guilty."
A red number '2' floated near Pinkie Pie.
The next member of the tribunal was a unicorn with a light gray mane with light indigo streaks, and a pale light yellowish coat.
"Good afternoon everyone, I am Upper Crust, and I track the shows finances and merchandising. In order to keep this show going, we need revenue. Revenue pays for sets, colors, hay fries, hay burgers, magical reagents, and so on. Many think that the revenue from Sweet Apple Acres is enough to keep the show going, but this is not the case. Pinkie Pie merchandise consistently ranks among the the top three sold in every merchandise endeavor we have taken. The only exception to this, is the merchandise sales from Build-A-Bear, where, the top three merchandises sold are Trixie, Trixie's cape and hat, and Trixie's voice. Therefore, in order to keep this show going, and to give all of us attractive dental, health and retirement packages, I vote not guilty."
The light faded from Upper Crust and a green number '17' floated next to Pinkie.
The next member was a mint green unicorn.
"Hey guys, Lyra Heartstrings here, and this is what I got to say."
Lyra pointed to her Cutie Mark. "Hoo-mans normally think that this cutie mark is a lyre, after all I do play the lyre, and with a name like Lyra, you couldn't go wrong. However, what this actually represents is the strings I have to pull in order to get Pinkie's parties to work. It would be fiiiiiiine if the mayor was nice, but in reality, she's a freaking dominatrix! I literally have to bend over just to get Pinkie's parties approved! Want to know why I sit like a hoo-man? That's because it's the most comfortable position for me after paying the "mayor's fees" for Pinkie's parties! I vote guilty!"
The light once again shut off, and this time a red number '1' floated to Pinkie.
Next up was a green maned earth pony with a yellow coat.
"Howdy y'all! Names Apple Fritter and I handle the catering of the show. Everything you eat in the show is something that I, or my army of cooks made. You'd think AJ or Sugarcube Corner were the ones baking their pies or cupcakes but you're wrong. Those one hundred percent, grade A foods are proudly made by the Fritter-Neigh company! With the revenue she gives to my company, I'd like to see more of Pinkie's parties. Heck, if y'all could another episode like Pinkie Pride, I'd be forever grateful to y'all."
There was a loud "OH COME ON!!! I COULDN'T SIT PROPERLY FOR A WEEK AFTER THAT!" shout, but Apple Fritter just ignored it.
"Pinkie Pie..thanks to you, mah company has grown from its humble origins, to what it is today. I want to see more of you, and more of your party ideas. I vote not guilty!" said Apple Fritter
The light once again went off, and a green number '13' floated next to Pinkie who had yet to move. The weight of the trial and a vote of seven "guilty" to six "not guilty" seemingly paralyzing the party pony.
"Good afternoon everyone!" the earth pony known as Carrot Top greeted.
"For years, I've lived under the shadow of the Fritter-Neigh company, and the dominance of Sweet Apple Acres but it was okay with me as the world felt right. However, when Pinkie had a drastic change in the Filli Vanilli episode, I felt the pain of the fandom. Those carrot posts that you saw in Facebook? It might have been a joke, but that's what a lot of Pinkie Pie fans felt. They wanted nothing more than to bury themselves in something after seeing their idol take down Big Mac and Fluttershy. I'd understand Big Mac losing, but who in their right mind scares Fluttershy?! Pinkie, you just don't do that to best pony for three years running. I vote guilty!"
This time a red '3' floated near Pinkie.
Eight "guilty" votes, six "not guilty" with one abstaining. Things are not looking good for Pinkie.
The light then shone on a white pony with a pink mane.
"Hello everyone, I'm Nurse Redheart, and I'd just like to say that with Pinkie around, it makes everything easier for us. We no longer have to scramble to get ponies to the hospital. We just have a few teams follow her, and every time we see her doing her Pinkie sense, we just interpret it and follow where it leads. Ponies such as Caramel, Mr. Breezy, Button Mash, Fleur de Lis, and many more greatly benefited from having a medical team arrive immediately after something fell on them, got burned by hot coffee, and well, you get the idea. I therefore vote not guilty!"
The light vanished and a green '15' floated next to Pinkie.
"Mares and gentlecolts of the tribunal. It therefore falls to me to decide Pinkie's fate" said the disembodied voice.
"With a surprise vote from Ms. Harshwhinny, the most that could happen now is either a tie, or a guilty vote. I have also rejected all calls for a trial for Ms. Harshwhinny for breaking character, as she has always shown a golden heart beneath her gruff exterior."
"In the event of a tie, Pinkamena Diane Pie will be found not guilty, but I, as Arbiter, will render unto her punishment fit for her crime."
"Let me begin by saying that gone are the days of slapstick comedy. The golden age of the great Bugs Bunny, Woody Woodpecker and Droopy, the silver age of Animaniacs, Angry Beavers and Hey Arnold!, and the Modern Age of Dexter's Lab, Johnny Bravo and the Powerpuff girls. The comedy of todays cartoons have to be politically correct, not offend anyone, not involve anvils and explosions, and also not be racially insensitive. Although you are correct that Pinkie Pie has broken the fourth wall numerous times, she has done so in the name of comedy, and I find nothing wrong with it! Never did she abuse it! I represent the comedy that you see in this universe. Therefore, I, Screw Ball, say that Pinkie Pie is not guilty!"
A green number '11' then floated towards Pinkie. Upon reaching her, the numbers coalesced, red mixing with green, while the gray number '9' disappeared. After a few moments the room was bathed in a grayish light.
"As you can see, we have a tie, which automatically results in a not guilty verdict." said Screw Ball to the tribunal members around her. "There is just the matter of punishment."
Screw Ball then stood up.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie, you have been found not guilty on the charges of breaking the fourth wall. With a not guilty verdict, you avoid exile, however I have to render punishment upon you."
Screw Ball then pointed at Pinkie.
"Pinkie Pie, from this moment on, you shall no longer be allowed to break the fourth wall...........WITHOUT MAKING SWEET, SWEET LOVE TO IT FIRST!! You must caress it, fondle it, render foreplay unto it, be gentle with it, and guide it through the motions, but in no way are you allowed to break the fourth wall in a WHAM! BAM! THANK YOU MA'M manner. Case is closed and court is adjourned!"
The lights came on, and the ponies slowly filed out of Twilight's castle. Shouts of "Thanks Twilight!", "Hey Twilight! let's have dinner sometime!", and "Allons-y!" were heard from the various members of the tribunal while Screw Ball put on her cap and floated away to prepare for her scenes. Twilight entered and upon seeing a downcast, Pinkie Pie approached her.
"What was that about Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie popped up from underneath her crown. "I don't know Twilight! Everything seems okie-dokie-lokie to me!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "Oh look there's my life-like Pinkamena cake! I wonder what it's doing here? It was supposed to be at Gummy's party by now! Hey author guy! Did I miss anything?"
Yes Pinkie you kinda missed everything.
"Oh don't worry about it writer guy, I have your story on my read later list. I'll read it after Gummy's party! Well, see you later!" Pinkie then blew me a kiss.
See you later Pinkie, thanks!