//------------------------------// // The Mystery Mare // Story: Never Dream // by Ximer //------------------------------// I awoke to the sound of someone groaning in pain, but remained still. The sound of something hard hitting the floor from the next room, however, was enough motivation to get out of bed, and grab one of the ridiculously heavy books I had been forced to read as a weapon, maybe it would give who, or whatever it was a concussion. Another agonizing cry, followed by what sounded like someone vomiting, came from the bathroom. Last night's events slowly came back to me, making me lower the book and approach the closed bathroom door. Dropping the book to the floor, I flung the door open to find my brother, his head hung over the toilet. Much to my surprise he was back to normal, well, mostly. A pair of small, useless wings were slowly receding into his back as I watched him take in a few deep breaths before flushing the toilet with his reformed hand, fingers steadily growing to their former length. Bones could be heard popping, and shifting as the changes continued. A cut on his left ear was becoming nonexistent now, as they shifted on his head and returned to their original location, and shape. It made me wonder how he received a cut in such an odd location in the first place, since he came home unharmed and intact. Smeared blood on the side of the sink gave a good indication that he had fallen before proceeding to puke his guts out. There was one other thing that stood out, he was nude. I quickly threw a towel over him, for which he groaned his thanks, I think. I couldn't hold it against him; he hadn't exactly walked out with clothes on. Though I did notice what looked like a vest of some kind, roughly the size someone would force a large dog to wear. "You okay?" I asked, kneeling down beside him. My little brother's first hangover, I was so proud. "I don't want to do stuff now...ugh..." Daniel replied. "Applejack told me to let you sleep it off, but that was when you were still a pony though. I guess you hit the bottle pretty hard huh?" I asked, rubbing his back a bit. "I am never drinking again...broaden your horizons...fffuck off Dash..." Daniel moaned, holding out the f longer than necessary. "I am curious though, who is C?" I asked, holding his limp arm up. "Thanks for...oh my God, what the hell did I do last night?!" Daniel asked, his eyes widening in fear. "Looks like you put the sweets to some mare, or maybe a stallion if that’s your thing." I replied teasingly. "That's not funny...arg..." Daniel said clutching his head. I left my brother to pull himself together for a quick venture into the kitchen to try and find the biggest cup I could. The farm girl, or mare as Daniel would ordinarily correct me, had been right about him being thirsty, just for a reason she probably hadn't anticipated. Finding a cup that was suitable for the task at hand, I filled it with water and brought it with me to the bathroom, where I imagined he would be spending most of his morning. I had tried for years to get him to break out of his shell and have a drink or two, and these ponies managed to do it overnight, I was impressed. Still, there was such a thing as over doing it. “This is what you get for letting your friends talk you into getting shitfaced. I hope you learned moderation from this little outing.” I said, bringing the glass of water to him. “Said the pot to the kettle.” Daniel said, drinking the water before handing the glass back to me. I had to give him props for still having his wit despite being in pain. “Touché, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re the one on the floor, who more than likely sexed up some poor mare around town. Oh ho, what would mom and dad think?” I asked. “Eat a dick Izzy.” Daniel replied. “Someone, or pony, must have at one point or another last night,” I said, refilling the cup with water and giving it back to him. “Keep drinking, you’re dehydrated.” “How long does this last?” he asked before taking another drink. “Kind of depends on the person and alcohol really. You’ll probably be here a while, but that’s the price of having fun I’m afraid.” I said, standing to exit the bathroom. “Where are you going?” Daniel asked, a hand drawn to his forehead once more. “I’m going to go see if Twilight Sparkle is back, and to see if I can’t find out who the lucky pony is.” I replied. Daniel groaned in response, whatever he drank last night must have been extremely strong. I could only assume that when he started to change his body was still trying to process everything, something he as a human couldn’t effectively do. The mixture probably hit him like a sledgehammer. With no further objections from my sibling, I left him to recuperate. The irony of the situation was not lost on me, given the chance that would have probably been me instead of him. Hopefully he would go to sleep after he was done. I slipped into his jacket before walking outside into the frigid air; it was warmer than the sweater I owned. Besides, it’s not like he would need it today anyways. The ponies that lived in the neighborhood always stopped what they were doing, and stared when I stepped outside or walked past them. Never out of hate, like the stuck up snobs in Canterlot, but it was still unnerving. Daniel didn’t receive nearly as many stares as I did, if any. He kept telling me that they just had to get used to me, which is a great plan and all, if you’re a patient person. I don’t like to play the waiting game, for anything. I left our neighborhood, snow crunching beneath my shoes as I walked down the street. Aside from the stares, the area wasn’t that bad. I had done my best to view this as a vacation, that was permanent. It helped when I had the occasional case of home sickness. Sugar Cube Corner came into view, the building’s presence instantly pushing everything on my to-do list to the very bottom. In their place was the image of a treat I had considered lost when I came to this world, but had been ecstatic when I was proven wrong. Pinkie Pie was by far my favorite pony, if I had to pick one. She was spontaneous, and always managed to make me smile. She was also the pony to have produced the most precious object ever conceived by any mind, in any dimension. My favorite muffin. “A quick detour wouldn’t hurt.” I said to myself. --- The bell on the door of Sugar Cube Corner alerted all within of my presence, as it jingled slightly. I wasn’t as tall as my brother, and didn’t have to worry about hitting my head as frequently as he did. I did have to lower my head just a bit to get into the shop, however. “Heellooooo Izzy!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, waving at me happily. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were the only two ponies to use the nickname that Daniel had given me since we were kids on a regular basis. It was a bit refreshing, and I didn’t mind. Pinkie Pie had tried to come up with a new nickname for me, but so far nothing seemed to fit as well as Izzy. She tried adding things to it, like Izzy Lizzy, which sounded okay, but it kind of made the point of a nickname moot, since it took just as long to say Isabella. “Hey Pinkie, how’s life rolling?” I asked, approaching the counter. “Right along,” Pinkie giggled. “So are you here for the usual?” “Yep, you might be able to help me with something else too.” I replied. “Oh? What sort of something?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Well I don’t know if ponies go by initials on a regular basis or not, but can you think of any that start with the letter C?” I asked. “Hmm, hold on just a minute.” Pinkie replied, disappearing behind a door that I assume led to the kitchen, only to return seconds later with a small bag with a sweet aroma coming from it. The girl, err mare rather, was fast. “Now, you want to know who Daniel saw last night, right?” Pinkie Pie asked, leaving me dumbfounded, and wondering if what he had done was worse than I had originally assumed if she already knew. “Uh yeah, but how’d you know?” I asked. “I just guessed,” Pinkie shrugged before holding up a book titled Never Dream with bright stars on the cover. “You and the Isabella from this story have a lot of similarities, so I thought you might ask something she would.” There were numerous flaws with the pink pony’s logic. For one, most notably, how could she accurately guess what I was going to ask based on a book? Secondly, where did she get a book in a world full of strange, nonsensical names, which just happened to have a character that shared my name? Finally, how did she know my brother had been out last night anyways? Daniel had mentioned her producing random objects from nothingness before. He attributed it to her secret mastery over cold fusion, or that she was some sort of deity. Twilight had no rebuttal to this and simply shook her head when I asked her if it was true. She only offered the explanation that Pinkie Pie would be Pinkie Pie, and that it was best not to question things. “Well, you’ve got me there. Anyways, does anyon-pony come to mind?” I asked, paying for the pastry I ordered. “There’s bunches and bunches of ponies that have names starting with the letter C. There’s Conductor, Cheerilee, Candy Apple, Caramel Apple, Charged Up, Cherry Punch, Cherry Strudel, and-“ Pinkie continued to name ponies from memory. I assumed she would eventually cover every single pony in Equestria if I didn’t stop her. “Okay I get it, there’s lots of ponies who have names that start with C. Is there any way to narrow that down to those that live in Ponyville and frequent the bar on a Saturday?” I asked. “Hmm…maybe you should ask Berry Punch, since she works there.” Pinkie Pie suggested. “Not a bad idea, thanks Pinkie.” I said, now tasked with finding out who Berry Punch was. "What's not a bad idea?" asked a familiar voice from behind me. "Twilight!" Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly, rushing over to the alicorn, all but tackling her in a hug. "It's good to see you too Pinkie." Twilight said, enduring the impact of the pink blur colliding with her before wrapping a foreleg around her friend. Twilight Sparkle was one of the few ponies I could stand to carry on a conversation with, she didn't stare. Not to mention she didn't drop judgment on me like all the others did. For a princess she was pretty humble, which I could respect. I didn't hate other ponies, it was a simple matter of distrust on both my part, and theirs. It frustrated me a bit how easily they seemed to welcome my brother, and greet him with a smile. On Earth, it was the other way around, he dwelt in my shadow. Perhaps this was karma delivering a rather ironic punishment. Daniel had tried to convince me that things hadn't been that easy. That he had nearly been lynched by a town mob, if not for the ponies that he referred to as the Elements of...Harmony, I think? Twilight and Pinkie Pie were among the six he had spoken of when he returned to Earth. Twilight represented magic, while Pinkie Pie represented laughter. They had apparently been the only ones to stand up for him that day. It spoke volumes about their character and hearts. Even though I gave him a lot of grief at times, I still loved my little brother, and anyone, or pony, that would stand up for him was okay by me. "How have you been doing Isabella?" Twilight asked, now relinquished from her friend's bear hug. "Huh? Oh, I've been fine, just breezing through the books you gave me." I lied. "Hmm, I didn't see Daniel anywhere, is he okay?" Twilight asked. What is she anyways, psychic? I thought to myself. "Izzy's out to solve a mystery, since Danny was out with somepony last night." Pinkie replied. "Out? Out how though? From the time I've known him, he goes to bed at a fairly reasonable hour, did something bad happen?" Twilight asked. "I'm inclined to think it was something good, though he might disagree right now. His blue butt was carried home after he passed out, and he had some writing on his foreleg that was initialed C." I explained. "Blue...he didn't...oh wait until I get my hooves on him." Twilight said coldly. "Easy there killer, I'm pretty sure he's endured enough punishment for last night already. He was puking his guts out this morning when I found him. Apparently you guys are immune to hangovers, humans not so much." I said. "He went out drinking?!" Twilight asked, stunned by the news. "I know, I was as shocked as you, but yeah he went and got drunk after helping Rainbow Dash with something I think...if he ever did." I said, briefly considering the possibility that it was just a ruse to leave me all alone at the house. "How did she get involved in this?" Twilight asked. "I don’t know, but he came home with writing on him. I was going to see if anyo-pony knew who it might be, though I don't have much to go on." I replied. "That human is impossible sometimes...I guess I have another stop to make." Twilight sighed. "Hey Twilight before you go, how much longer do I have before I can take that test?" I asked, trying not to sound to anxious. "I'd have to get an idea of how far along you are in your studies. I'd prefer not to have another close call like we had with your brother, he nearly failed." Twilight replied. "Fair enough I guess." I said. "Is something wrong?" Twilight asked. "I'm just tired of all the staring Twilight, I mean, they've seen a human before. My brother has been here for a few months, so what is it about me that's so different?" I asked, venting my frustration. "You have to understand, Equestria has endured numerous attacks. When something strange or new arrives, it always makes ponies a bit uneasy. In case you haven't noticed, you're much taller and intimidating than we are." Twilight replied. "Oh oh, not to mention something that looked a little like you drained half of Equestria's magic." Pinkie Pie chimed in. "Pinkie, she looks nothing like Tirek...but," Twilight said rolling her eyes. "Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie's analysis isn't that far from what other ponies might see when they look at you. Believe me, they were calling your brother a blood thirsty monster too, it's not just you." "Makes sense, I guess." I said, pulling a strawberry muffin with a chocolate chip on top out of the bag. "Why do you like your muffins with only one chocolate chip on them anyways?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I have my reasons." I replied, they must never know. --- "So this is the place huh?" I asked. "Yes indeedy. Ponyville Pub is the place to go," Pinkie Pie replied, bouncing up to the door, before calmly opening it. "Oh, before I forget, the other ponies don't know Daniel can change, they only know him as Comet Guard." "Comet Guard? That's kind of a lame name." I said as Pinkie walked through the door. The party pony had wanted to come along. Her shift was ending, and she claims she would have been bored otherwise. I was inclined to believe her, since I was pretty certain her body ran on sugar. The bar was mostly empty, save for a few ponies here and there. Understandable, no one back on Earth really hit the bar until later in the evening. The lame background music, that you only started to sing along with after you had a few drinks, was steadily playing. "Hi Berry!" Pinkie Pie all but shouted, rousing a sleeping mare from a nap. Not the best practice at a bar, but with crime almost nonexistent I guess the trust system was in full effect here. "Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here?" asked the mare, whom I assumed was Berry Punch. "Solving a mystery." Pinkie replied giddily. "Right..." Berry said nervously. The earth pony's eyes eventually fell on me, a hint uncertainty in them as she stared me down. I wanted to make a snarky remark, but held my peace as her stare continued, irritating me slightly. "So, did a blue pony by the name of...uh." I fumbled with the name Pinkie Pie had given me. "Comet Guard." Pinkie Pie whispered. "Right, Comet Guard, did he come through here with somepony last night?" I asked, forcing myself to ponify the word someone. "Oh, you mean the cutie Rainbow brought with her? I remember him, what kind of stallion hasn't had a drink at his age?" Berry asked. Creepy, all the mares are hot for my brother. When he's one of them anyways. I thought to myself, shivering as an unsettling image forced its way into my brain. "So why the interest in my customer? You got the sweets for him or something?" Berry asked, almost causing me to throw up in my mouth. "GOOD GOD NO!!" I shouted, losing control of the volume of my voice at the nature of the question. "Okay, no need to shout...geez." Berry Punch said, shying away from me as her ears flattened against her head in fear. "I mean, no...it's not like that. He crashed at my house last night and I noticed he had some writing on his leg." I said, trying to recover the situation. Why did ponies have to be so weird sometimes? "Writing...oh you mean the mare that was flirting with him." Berry Punch said. "Wait, flirting with him? Don't take this the wrong way but...don't guys hit on girls when they're drunk here? Heck not even drunk, just in general, or am I missing something?" I asked. "If that was the case there would be a lot of lonely mares. Stallions rarely make the first move; any that do are either very confident, or weird. After the mare shows her interest is when things take off." Berry replied. "Strange social norm, but whatever. Do you know who she was?” I asked. "Well..." Berry said, trying to recall what happened last night. --- "Why do I feel so happy?" Comet asked, his head resting on the bar top. "It's supposed to make you feel good, what were you expecting?" I replied. "It's just weird, you know? Being this happy is kind of a big deal for me. I mean I'm happy when I don't drink, but there's always that...thing in life that could make it better." Comet said. "Sweetie, if you go through life feeling miserable all the time it'll eat you from the inside out. Now, I don't know your life story, but we've all gone through our storms. I opened this place to help ponies leave their troubles at the door for a while. It's just the way the world works sugar." I said. "I guess, thanks Fruit Soda." Comet said. "Close enough." I laughed, newbies were always fun to talk to. I noticed another pony walk through the door. The mare was pretty popular around Ponyville, and had a decent following throughout Equestria. Her trademark sunglasses helped set her apart from every other pony in the room. "Yo Berry, what's shake'n? A Plum Special please." the mare said, taking the seat Rainbow Dash had recently vacated. "Hey Vinyl, keeping my eyes on a newcomer, making sure he doesn't over do it," I replied, pointing a hoof at Comet after sliding the mare her drink. "Tonight's his first experience with alcohol, if you can believe that." "No way! Him?" Vinyl Scratch asked. "Yes way, me." Comet replied, looking over at the DJ. "C'mon, you've gotta be kidding me. A sturdy guy like you, never drinking before?" Vinyl asked, taking a sip of her beverage. "Well, when your parents keep repeating how bad it is, you just start accepting it as truth." Comet replied. "That's lame, what's your name anyways?" Vinyl asked. "Comet Guard...I go by another one too, but I'm not supposed to tell anypony." Comet giggled. "Berry what did you give him?" Vinyl asked with a laugh. "Sun Kissed Surprise, Rainbow Dash's suggestion." I replied, showing her the impressively half empty bottle. "Sweet Celestia, he downed that much of it?! Are you sure you've never drank before?" Vinyl asked. "He's a machine, I'll give him that. His first crash is going to be a hard one though. He’ll probably be out for a day at least." I replied. I counted myself lucky to be a pony sometimes; other species had claimed to experience horrible headaches after drinking so much, sometimes vomiting. The drinks made other species act weird too. It was like they lost control, the booze was just supposed to make you relax and feel happy, maybe act a bit dopey at times. The only time a pony would start to act weird was if drinks were mixed incorrectly, but any responsible pony knew better. "So why do you wear sun glasses in dimly lit places?" Comet asked. "They're a part of who I am. Besides, I can still see you just fine." Vinyl replied. "Fair enough I guess. This one time I wasn't paying attention and walked into a movie with sunglasses on. Kind of sucked, it's cool you can see with them though." Comet said. "They're not dark and dreary, here look." Vinyl laughed as her sun glasses levitated from her face and spun around, granting Comet a glimpse through the lenses. "Oh, cool...you have pretty eyes." Comet said, looking up from the sunglasses. "Thanks, yours kind of clash with your coat, but they're cool." Vinyl said as her glasses returned to their rightful place. "They do?" Comet asked, seeming a bit let down by the news. "Aw, don't be sad," Vinyl said, stifling a giggle. "Brown is a cool eye color, it's just weird to see a pegasus have it, you know? It makes you look cute." "You really think so? Most of the time in school, I was picked on. Because I was skinny, and didn't have a lot of muscle or anything, I wasn't cute." Comet said, his wings drooping a bit. Sun Kissed Surprise is hitting this one hard, poor thing. I thought to myself. "Totally, they were just jealous is all. I bet you were a late bloomer, but the past is the past right?" Vinyl asked rhetorically. "Yeah...screw the past, here's to the future!" Comet said, grabbing the bottle in a surprising display of speed. "Now we're talking!" Vinyl exclaimed clinking her glass against the bottle. The unicorn finished hers off quickly, a shocked expression crossing her face as she watched the last drop from the bottle disappear into Comet's mouth. I couldn't help but share Vinyl’s expression. "Did he..." I stammered. "That...was awesome!" Vinyl Scratch exclaimed. "Comet, are you okay?! You're not supposed to drink the whole thing!" I shouted, turning him around in his seat to face me. "I'm...fine...just a little...sleepy." Comet replied, his eyes fluttering shut as his head nodded. "He's done already? Well crap, now who am I going to drink with? I thought I had found a new bar buddy." Vinyl complained. "He'll probably be back Vinyl, but...I think he's about done with pretty much everything for the evening." I said, watching Comet's eyes close as he gave up fighting against the inevitable. I gently set his head on the bar, quiet snores soon coming from the stallion. I was confident his first time out with his friends would be a memorable one. "Funny little pegasus...hey Berry, you got a marker?" the DJ asked. "Umm...yeah, why?" I asked holding it up. "Sweet." Vinyl said, her horn lighting up as a magical aura engulfed the marker. The unicorn proceeded to start writing on the poor stallion's fore leg. I had heard of marking before, but this was just ridiculous if that's what she was planning on doing. I tried my best to read what she was writing, but it wasn't easy to do from my angle. "Vinyl, what are you doing to him?" I asked. "What? I just don't want him to forget me is all." Vinyl replied. "There are other ways of doing that, like saying "hi" in the street, or just talking like a regular pony, or...something." I said. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Vinyl asked, the volume of her voice disturbing Comet enough to make him move while she was still writing. I could finally see what the mare had been writing on his leg. It was a simple enough message, albeit a suggestive one. When she had tried to initial it with her DJ name instead of a D, Comet's sudden motion had made a C. Vinyl laughed and drew a heart next to it. She capped the marker and levitated it back to me, satisfied with her hoof work. "You're not going to fix it?" I asked. "Nah, his name's Comet, so it works." Vinyl replied. Her logic astounded me sometimes. --- "After that his friends took him home." Berry said, finishing her story. "So...nothing happened?" I asked, almost disappointed he didn't get laid. The story wasn't nearly as funny now, it was still entertaining though. "Nope, it was just Vinyl being Vinyl. She's a bit on the wild side; a stallion like him probably wouldn't mix well with her anyways." Berry replied. "Yeah, he tends to be a buzz kill at times." I said, knowing my brother too well. "That was fun! I like solving mysteries!" Pinkie Pie giggled happily. "Wait, Twilight said she had another stop to make...uh oh." I said, thinking aloud. --- "You come out from under those covers right now mister!" Twilight ordered, glaring at the cover and blanket cocoon Daniel and encased himself in. The human had apparently balled himself up after being sick most of the morning. The alicorn had found him asleep, but a well-aimed swat from her wing to his backside quickly put an end to his nap. "No, you're just going to yell at me." Daniel's muffled voice replied. "You're absolutely right I'm going to yell at you. I thought we agreed that there would be no more chaos magic that involved you shape shifting into a pony?" Twilight scolded. "I was just helping Rainbow Dash." Daniel replied. "Who proceeded to talk you into drinking, how she managed that I'll never know. I heard you had writing on your arm, which happened to be a leg when the event took place." Twilight said, poking the cover cocoon with her hoof. "I don't remember who it was. How is that my fault?" Daniel asked. "Great, so you could have potentially mated with a mare. Ugh, you give me a headache sometimes." Twilight replied. "I don't want to sex up a pony though." Daniel said. "Of course you don't. Drunk Comet Guard just might be tempted to though." Twilight said. "I'm not some sex hungry deviant, Twilight." Daniel said. "I never said you were. It's not you I'm worried about, it's other ponies taking advantage of you in that state." Twilight said with a sigh. "Sorry...I was just trying to help, and it's kind of cool to have wings every once in a while." Daniel said dejectedly. "What am I going to do with you?" Twilight asked, shaking her head. "You know you love me." Daniel replied, sticking his head out of his makeshift fort. "Don't try to act cute, I'm still mad at you buster." Twilight said poking him in the forehead with her hoof. "So, since you're here I do have a question..." Daniel said, rubbing his forehead as he clambered out of his cover cocoon. "What would that be?" Twilight asked cautiously. "What do mares do on dates?" Daniel asked, with complete sincerity. Twilight slammed her hoof against her face with a sigh. If the pink fuzzy creature that was talking in tongues back at her castle wasn't bad enough, this was the icing on the very bitter cake called life. "Why of all things would you want to know that?" Twilight asked in return. "Because I have a date with Minuette." Daniel replied.