The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony

Chapter Two: Part Eleven

“Oh horseapples!” Bon-Bon said as she accidentally knocked the inkwell over (she hit it while attempting to refill her quill), causing a solid drip to cover part of the letter. She suddenly wished she was dictating to Lyra. At least her spills were on purpose. Cleaning up the mess as best she could, she dipped her quill and began writing once more.

Bon-Bon dipped the quill into the inkwell once more, but found it empty. “Really?” she asked to nopony particular. “Really? You had to run out right now?” She looked down at the well with a look of unamused distaste. It looked back at her and smiled.

“Hello miss! I sure did. Thought it would be good for a laugh I did!” it said in a heavy Canterlot accent.

“Oh you did, did you? Are you sure it has nothing to do with me knocking you over?” Bon-Bon knew that her brain was starting to fail, as inkwells only spoke to her when she hadn't had enough sleep. Though they usually spoke with more of a Manehatten accent. It would seem that Ms. Cherry Jubilee didn't cheap out when it came to her inkwells.

“What? Of course not miss! Why, I-BLUB BLUB BLUB!” Bon-Bon had begun refilling it once more with ink, drowning out its words.

“There. That should keep you quiet. Now then, where was I?” She dipped her quill once more and began writing.

Bon-Bon looked the letter over once more. Even though she was writing to Twilight, she was still a Princess (and picky about grammar and spelling to boot), and Bon-Bon wanted to make sure there were as few errors as possible. Everything she wanted to say was in there. Hopefully it would get to her in time. The trick was, how does one send a letter through Spike? She had seen him burn scrolls and belch them dozens of times before, but had no real good idea how it was done. Perhaps it was Alicorn magic? Or even simple ol' Unicorn magic? She was unsure. Placing the quill back, she blew on the scroll to ensure it was dry before rolling it up. Taking a small strip of ribbon, she tied it shut and sealed it with a bit of molten wax. Now then, to get it to the Princess...

Cherry Jubilee was aghast. Who in Equestria had entered her office? And how on earth had they not triggered the alarms? She walked about, looking left and right at her place. To the untrained eye of any other pony, things would have looked just fine. Her bookshelves along the right wall (full of odd trinkets her workers found in her orchards as well as several different books) seemed undisturbed. Her left wall, which was covered in motivational posters with a door sitting in the middle of it (Quite literally you see, for the previous owner of this office thought it would be a jolly joke to place a door perfectly in the center of the wall. What this meant was that not only was the door set several hooves off the floor, it was also laying on its side and led to a room full of concrete balloons. How they had made them, and how they manage to still float after all these years was still a mystery to Cherry), was also just fine.

Her back wall, which was mostly bare save for a cork-board full of to-do items and several framed permits, was the same as always. Even her dark cherry desk (made from the finest cherry-wood, much to her anger. Again, the previous owner though it would be a hoot to chop down her best tree and make a desk out of it. Of course, the old coot also thought it was a hoot to show up to the town dressed up like an owl and covered head-to-hoof in beavers. Needless to say, it took a good while for the local rivers to begin flowing properly), covered as it was in paperwork, looked normal … save that one of her papers was quite literally a hair out of place. Her eye twitched. She knew the exact place of every item in her office, and seeing that one single paper was slightly off tipped her off that somepony had broken in. But how? She padlocked the door, sealed the window, and barricaded the balloon room each and every single night! (She had to so that the balloons wouldn't escape and meander around her office, looking for their old master) Not to mention the magical wards she had placed on it (well, that two traveling salesponies had put on it. They had been selling security systems door-to-door and Cherry had found the pair of them to be quite charming, and wasted no time in buying not only the Full Coverage Plan, but even a lifetime subscription to 'Security Weekly').

You see, Cherry is a rich pony. Before her current desk, she had a fabulous desk made of the mightiest mahogany (it was such a lovely shade of red). Not to mention that she owns a lovely estate not far from town, and runs one of the largest cherry plantations this side of Equestria! Which isn't saying much as it is indeed the only one on this side, but that was beside the point. The point was that she kept her well-earned bits in a safe, in her office. Not all of them of course. She kept her money in several locations. But in her safe, she kept enough to cover the various on-the-spot expenses that pop up from time to time. So, she spent quite a bit on security to keep them safe. So the fact that somepony managed to break in just made her angry something fierce! Her face turned a deeper shade of red then her mane, and she ran over to the location where her safe was. For the purposes of security, the exact location will not be disclosed at this time. Suffice to say, her safe, was safe. She let out a breath that she had been holding. It looked like the only things missing were a single roll of paper, some ink, a ribbon, and a few drips of wax. The question was, why? Did they break in just to write a letter? No, that was insane. No pony breaks into a highly secured room just to write a letter. They must have taken something, but what? And why?

She pressed her lips together in thought. It was a nice desk … even if she still would rather have the tree. She blinked. Her eyes caught something over in the corner. It was two small hairs. A smile broke across her face. Whoever it was, she had them now. She strolled leisurely over to them. No need to be in a rush, now that she had evidence. Bending her head low, she examined them closely. One hair blue, one hair pink. Now then, who did she know that had pink and blue hair? Who indeed? She looked out the window. It was a lovely morning. The sun was just beginning to rise and there was a slight breeze blowing (Normally, she came into work after the sun was already in the sky, but today she had popped awake rather early for reasons most mysterious. So, she figured that she might as well come into work early and some paperwork done). She had heard that some ponies had just left Dodge, heading south on hoof. One of them she had been told had come in on that ill-fated train (fixing that thing set her back quite a few bits) and had been in the clinic the entire time. The other two she had heard had shown up last night and left with that poor patient just a short while ago. What were their names again? Oh yes. There was Berry Punch (whom she knew professionally as she traded bottles for cherries), an eccentric named Lyra (who, she had been told, was the one on the train), and, she paused a moment, trying to recall the name … Bon-Bon! That's right! She knew Bon-Bon. She'd come down to Dodge to work from time to time. And wasn't her mane...?

Her smile grew even bigger. Now that she knew the identity of the criminal, it was only a matter of tracking her down and asking her to give back what she stole, whatever it was.

Berry was not a happy pony. Last night had not gone at all as she had hoped. Not long after Lyra had told her to get comfy, the nurse had suddenly burst in (with pillows in tow just in case Lyra decided to hug the floor once more), and informed her that her visiting time was over and that she was free to come back later tomorrow. Both Berry and Lyra had objected, but the nurse had stood her ground. Berry was hard pressed to say no to a nurse who had made a golem out of pillows to escort her out of the room.

So, needless to say, she was in a bit of a foul mood. That, and it had been a full three, four days since her last drink! Well, ok, not really three or four days, but it feel like it. She looked at Lyra with sleepy eyes, hoping that perhaps she would tell her story now that they had gotten out of Dodge. In actuality, they had already been walking for about an hour or so before Berry tried to make eye contact. Partly because she was too tired and cranky to try earlier, and partly because it had been a bit too dark for eye contact, for they had actually left just before the sunrise. Now that she could see, and now that she felt ever so slightly less moody, she thought now might be a good time to try and get Lyra to talk. Though, she found it rather hard to make eye contact as Lyra was ahead of her. Sadly, it seemed like she did not have eyes on the back of her head.

Still, she held her gaze for several moments. Hoping that the sheer force of her will would somehow burn her gaze through Lyra's skull and into her brain, allowing her to read her mind. Sadly, this too seemed doomed to fail, as Berry did not posses Xheat-ray vision. So, letting out a quiet sigh, she drooped her head once more and begun grumbling to herself. “Stupid Bon-Bon … waking me up so early … coulda waited until noon ya know … but nooo …. ”

“Did you say something?” Bon-Bon's voice suddenly asked.

Berry tilted her head up slightly, just enough to look at the back of Bon-Bon's noggin. “No … nothing” Berry grumbled in a gravelly voice. Tch. She should have known Bon-Bon would hear her. She looked up at the rising sun. Its light burned her tired and bloodshot eyes. She blinked painfully, small tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “Ok, so, let me get this straight. We are going to walk for two days straight. Two days. And you didn't bother to pick up any supplies? Not a thing?” Berry was indeed not a happy pony, and her voice showed it.

“I don't recall saying I didn't get any supplies.” Bon-Bon replied calmly. Oooh, that just made Berry all the more ticked.

“Oh please! When? We left before the sun was even up! Nothing was open!” Berry objected.

Bon-Bon turned her head to look at Berry. Good grief, what business did she have looking so focused so early in the morning?! “I assure you, these saddle bags on my back are quite full.” She jiggled them slightly as if to emphasize her point. “So you don't need to worry about it.”

“Yeah, chill out *yawn* Bon-Bon!” Lyra agreed.

“Lyra, I think you meant Berry.” Bon-Bon pointed out.

“Huh?” Lyra's head turned suddenly to look at Bon-Bon, who was walking to her left. Berry could see that Lyra's eyes were little better then her own. It looked as though she had gotten little sleep as well, though her eyes were far less bloodshot.

“Berry. I think you meant to say Berry.” Repeated Bon-Bon.

“What did I say?”

“Bon-Bon”

“Oh,” said Lrya, blushing sheepishly. “Right ….” She looked back at Berry and attempted to give her one of her winning smiles. Given that her eyes looked like death, it somehow didn't have quite the same impact. What it did do however, was enable Berry to lock eye-contact.

“So, about that story?” Berry asked with even more gravel in her voice.

Lyra's smile turned into small frown and looked at Bon-Bon.

“You mean you didn't tell her last night?” Bon-Bon asked a bit agitated.

“Well … the nurse kinda hauled Berry outta the room before I could say anything.” Lyra answered.

“The nurse? You let the nurse stop you from filling in Berry about something that important?” Bon-Bon's expression was greatly unamused.

“Hey! You don't know that nurse! She runs that place like a prison! You can't do anything against the rules! Like, one time, I tried to hide one of those pudding cups under my pillow, right? You know what happened? She actually made me take it out, give it to the little foal over in the corner, and made me watch as the kid ate it! Not only that, you remember the other guy in the clinic? He was part of the Equestrian weight-lifting squad for the games. And his buddies, who came right after we got there, were even bigger then he was! So, you know what happened when they tried to stay too long? She just looked at them in the eye and said 'You. Must. Leave. Now. The others need their rest.' And you know what they did? They broke like twigs! They basically just whimpered and left the room., except one gal. I've never seen such a huge unicorn. She looked back and started mouthing off at the nurse. You know what she did then?”

“Get to the point Lyra.” Bon-Bon cut in.

“Uh … right. Well, let's just say that size isn't everything when you've got an army of pillows, blankets, and mattresses. So, yeah. I was not about to mess with that.” Lyra concluded.

“Yes. Truly terrifying. Well, I suppose we've got nothing but time now. So you might as well fill her in.”

“Yes please! I would really like to know what's going on here.” Berry pleaded, rather grumpily.

“Eh … can it wait? I really need to wake up a bit more before I can tell it.” Lyra whined.

“Are you kidding me?!” Berry yelled, causing both Bon-Bon and Lyra to jump in surprise.

“Woah! Berry, chill out! You'll hear it, honest. But I seriously need to wake up more. I'm not tryin' to keep you in the dark here. I'm really not, it's just that there are a lot of important details and I can't afford to forget any, ok?” Lyra explained carefully.

Berry ground her teeth, and her eye twitched. “Fine. But don't talk to me until then!” Berry stomped her two front hooves on the ground, then drooped her head moodily once more. She was so fed up with all of this. And to think, WALKING FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT! Not only that, she was walking directly into a place that supposedly had cutie mark stealing griffins, dragons, and dangerous bandits! And she had to do it all with not a drop of booze in her! So yeah, she was just a little grumpy. Oh, don't forget the fact that she had trouble sleeping last night 'cause the cheap motel they stayed in had bed bugs. Or where they fleas? She didn't know, and at this point, she didn't care. She just wanted to get Colgate and get that blasted toothbrush, and then go home with nice breath for once in her life. Even she had to admit, her breath had simply become unbearable.

She let out a small sigh. Colgate. She hoped that she was okay. In all honesty, she was one of the few ponies left that actually visited Berry's home anymore. Granted, ponies liked her at parties, and even out in the open (provided there was a strong breeze), but they never came to her home. When she first opened her store, they would visit. Most of the time it was to pick up an order, but they would hang around for a bit and share a few laughs. But the longer she was in business, the less they came to visit in pony, and the more they would send somepony else to place and pick up their orders. Finally, what it had come down to was her placing the various orders outside of her home on a wagon that either Big Mac, or another pony, would take away once it was filled and she was very much inside. Now that she thought on it, Colgate pretty much was the only pony left who would actually come into her home these days.

A sudden rush of an odd, and somewhat bitter, mix of guilt and shame filled her. Colgate was doing all of this for her! Colgate had dealt with Berry's foalishness for years! And for the first time, in a very long time, Colgate needed her to help! (The last time was that time when Berry, quite drunken at the time, had accidentally sold a lovely hourglass to some very shady characters who were in the business of collecting such things. Unfortunately however, she had accidentally sold the hourglasses on Colgate [there was a LOT of booze to be had that night, by both parties]. So, when they came to collect, they had to haul the poor blue mare off. Poor Berry had to track them down and save her all by herself. Oh colt … was THAT an adventure...)

Her eyes began to burn slightly and her vision blurred.

Here she had been, all these years, so selfish and so much trouble for poor Colgate. All of the late nights that Colgate didn't want to go through, all of the crazy parties she tried to avoid. All of the times when she had tried to beg Berry to slow down, to ease up on the drinks, to brush her teeth!

Drops of water began to hit the ground beneath Berry's head.

And even now, Colgate was in terrible danger for her sake! And all Berry could do was yell and whine and stop her hooves like some temperamental filly! She paused. She was a terrible pony. No wonder nopony ever came over anymore. She had thought it was her terrible breath that had driven them away, but no, it was her terrible heart! Well, okay, she had to admit, her chompers did have some effect, but that wasn't the point right now! No, the point was that she had driven them all away! Berry's lip quivered, she was trying her best to hold it in, but she was losing. She bit on her lip, hoping to keep it in check, but it seemed to do little. She bit even harder, and all that did was make her want to cry even more. She stumbled slightly to her side, as she began to feel the strength of her legs fail.

It was all her fault! Everything! If she had just listened to Colgate, and brushed her blasted teeth, then there would have been no castle, no robbery, and no foalnapping! If only she had listened to her one and only friend in this world … Berry wouldn't have to be walking for two days straight!

“Hey, Bon-Bon … “ Lyra said with both a gentle voice and nudge to Bon-Bon as Lyra looked back at Berry.

She paused. D-did she really just think that? Did she really just complain about walking while Colgate was in so much trouble? Her mouth hung open slightly, as even more tears began rolling off her cheeks.

“What? What is it-oh … ” Bon-Bon said, first with irritation, then quietly as she looked back at Berry.

A stupid griffin tried to steal her only friend’s cutie mark, and all she could think about was how much she didn't want to walk?! She was a monster! She was selfish, dishonest, mean, selfish, irresponsible, an idiot, and a terrible pony! All she had done was cause ponies pain this whole trip! It had been she that had squealed so loudly! It had been she that had drank that bottle! It had been she that had tricked Zecora into drinking it! It had been she that had somehow let Pinkie get ahoof of it! It had been her fault, somehow, that Colgate had gotten foalnapped! It was her fault they followed the wrong group, and it had been her fault that they had lost Colgate right after saving her! It was all her fault! And both Lyra and Bon-Bon must be furious!

Lyra clenched her teeth as a severe look of worry and concern crossed her face. “Bon-Bon …” she paused. Then, quietly whispered, “I-I'm really worried about her.”

Bon-Bon nodded. “Yeah … me too.” she whispered back.

“I-I guess we forgot that she's not as tough as us, huh?” Lyra said sympathetically.

Bon-Bon shook her head. “No, it's not that. Berry's tough enough, but …”

“We've haven't been kind enough.” Lyra finished for her. “We're used to doing this kinda thing, but she's not.”

“And we've been ignoring her, not pausing for even a moment to consider how she feels about all of this.” Bon-Bon nodded shamefully.

Her tears began to flow though the cracks in the dams she tried to hold them back with. But it was proving too much. Finally, she let out an anguished cry and fell to the ground. There, she lay, weeping openly onto the dirt.

“Berry?” Lyra said gently. “Berry! Snap out of it!” Lyra picked up Berry began to shake her, and almost slapped Berry back to her senses. She stopped however when Berry's eyes locked with hers.

“Lyra … I …” Berry began, her lower lip and her voice trembling in equal measure.

“Berry …” Bon-Bon also began, but was unable to finish.

Lyra set Berry down, and took a half-step back. Berry curled into a tight ball and began sobbing softly. Lyra turned to Bon-Bon and both exchanged helpless glances. Had it been so long since they'd been normal ponies? Had it been so long that they forgot what it was like to feel so overwhelmed? So powerless? Had it been so long since the day that-

Berry twitched slightly, derailing Lyra's thoughts. “Bon-Bon, what do we do?” She asked. She had never before felt so helpless, so under equipped for something like this. Sure, the day that she met Bon-Bon had been pretty overwhelming, but that was very different then this kind of overwhelming.

Bon-Bon's hard eyes softened as she looked at poor Berry. “Let's take a break.” came her quiet answer.

Lyra nodded quietly and sat down, looking at Berry's quivering form. She wanted to object and say, 'But we just started!' but she knew that Bon-Bon meant more then just taking a break from walking. She knew that she had meant a break from business, from rescuing, from being emotionless. Indeed, here, right in front of their very eyes, lay a pony who could not do as they had done so many times before. She could not set her heart to the side or ignore the strain and pain of her body and mind. No, unlike Lyra and Bon-Bon, she was not ready for this.

Lyra heard Bon-Bon set her bags on the ground not far behind them, then she sat down next to her. The two of them looked at Berry from some time. Both wishing they knew what to say, and neither daring to speak, lest the wrong thing be said. What does one say to a pony like this? Do they apologize? Do they offer sympathy? What do they do? What could they do? Then Bon-Bon's own words dawned on Lyra once again: '… not pausing for even a moment to consider how she feels …'

Perhaps the best thing to say, was to say nothing at all.

“Hey, Berry,” Lyra said, reaching out a hoof and shaking Berry gently, “Look … Bon-Bon and I-”

“-are not very good at this. So-” Bon-Bon added.

“-if you wanna talk, we'll listen. Ok?” Lyra finished.

Berry said nothing, save her quiet sobs.

“Berry, please! We're here for you!” Lyra said a moment before Bon-Bon could say the same.

Berry's quivering stopped for a moment, and for an instant, all was still. Then Berry slowly lifted her head and looked at them with eyes as bloodshot as could be. She took a deep and trembling breath, held it for a minute, then let it out slowly, but said nothing. She cast her eyes to the ground, and turned her head away from them.

“Berry?” one of them ventured. Berry wasn't sure who though. Everything felt so muted and far away.

“I broke my promise.”

“What?” one of them said. Again, Berry wasn't sure who.

“I promised Colgate that I wouldn't drink that bottle ever again, and I did anyway.” Berry answered somberly.

“So?” one of them dared to ask.

Suddenly, with a flash of anger and shame, Berry's head whipped around as she looked at the two of them. “SO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SO?!? I BROKE A PROMISE TO MY ONLY FREIND IN THIS WHOLE WORLD AND NOW SHE'S IN DANGER BECAUSE OF IT AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS 'SO'?!?” Berry screamed, her voice cracking from the strain. “I'M SORRY IF BREAKING A PROMISE ISN'T A BIG DEAL TO YOU OR SOMETHING, BUT IT KINDA IS TO ME! AND NOW IT'S ALL MY FAULT THAT COLGATE MAY NEVER MAKE IT HOME AGAIN! DON'T YOU GET IT? IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IF I HADN'T BROUGHT THE STUPID BOTTLE, IF I HADN'T SQUEALED SO LOUDLY, IF I HAD ONLY BRUSHED MY TEETH, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!! And now …” Berry's voice had begun to strain under the load of so much anger, “… we can't even go save her because I'm slowing us all up …”, her voice cracked once more, “and you two must be so mad at me … I'm so helpless. She's in trouble and all I do is sit here and scream at you two and slow you down. You must be so disappointed and mad at me … I'm so sorry, if it wasn't for me, you two wouldn't have even come with us to begin with … this is all my fault …” Berry's face flushed with greater shame, and she buried her face under her forelegs.

Lyra and Bon-Bon's jaws both hung open at this sudden turn of events. Needless to say, they had not seen that coming. This time, it was Bon-Bon who cleared her throat first and spoke. “Berry, you know that its not your fault. Those bandits would have hit the train even if you two had been by yourselves. And yeah, you broke your promise, but nopony's perfect. I mean, look, you've gone, what? Over a day without drinking a thing? Berry, that's amazing. The fact that you've gone this long without a drink is impressive. And it's not your fault Lyra and I came along.”

“Yeah! That was totally us. I mean, sure, yeah, you had a factor in it, but it was us who decided to follow after you guys. And yeah, if you hadn't brought the drink things would have been a whole lot less exciting at the castle, but look at the good that came out of it!” Lyra said.

“And before you can say, 'What good?', think about that promise you said you made. If you hadn't brought it, you'd have never made that promise. And just because you broke it once doesn't make you a bad pony.” Bon-Bon continued.

“Well, breaking promises is pretty bad Bon-Bon.” Lyra inserted.

“True. But given the conditions, and why you did it, I think Colgate will forgive you. You just gotta talk to her about it. And besides, we forgive you. Not that we were ever mad at you.” Bon-Bon explained.

“Yeah. We just wanna help. I mean, if we didn't care, why would we still be here? Like, if we didn't care, we woulda just hopped on the first train back to Ponyville and let the two of you go alone. But we didn't.” Lyra added.

“And I know that you're gonna say something about us not having a choice in the matter, since we all got caught up in that train robbery, but think about this: When we finally got back to Dodge, Lyra and I could have just said, 'tough luck', and left you high and dry. But we didn't and we're here.” Bon-Bon's expression continued to soften as both she and Lyra spoke.

Berry slowly lifted her head from the ground and looked at the two of them. “But …” she trailed off, not quite able to find the words, though she wasn't even sure she had anything to say...

“Look, we all screw up sometimes. And sometimes, we screw up big. But that doesn't make us bad ponies. What makes us bad ponies is if we keep screwing up and don't care about who we hurt in the process, ya know? And you care, and you don't wanna keep screwing up. So you're not a bad pony, alright?” Lyra said, resting a hoof on Berry's shoulder.

Berry looked back at the ground once more. She let out a small sigh, and said softly, “Thanks you two. It's just that, you know, she's my only real friend ya know? And I'm just worried about her. And, you're right, it has been a while since I had something to drink. I guess I'm a bit cranky because of that.” she gave a small, halfhearted chuckle. Then she let out another small sigh. “Thanks guys. I appreciate it.”

Lyra smiled and patted her on the back as Bon-Bon spoke, “We're happy to help Berry. After all, like Lyra said, we're here because we care. “

“And we even don't mind your breath!” Lyra added.

With that, Berry stood up, wiped her face, and smiled. “You know, I think you're right. Yeah, I screwed up pretty bad, but if I quit tryin' to help now, it'll only get worse. And you know what? I want to be a better pony! So let's go get Colgate!” Berry exclaimed, punching a hoof in the air for added emphasis.

If by air we mean Lyra's left eye, the poor girl.

Granted, it had been an honest mistake, so no hard feelings were had. That said, pony hooves do tend to be a bit on the firm side, vs the typically soft side of the oversized pony eyeball. So, after a yelp of pain, and many apologies, the little group gathered themselves together once more, and headed off to Deadmare Gully to rescue poor Colgate!

That is, assuming that she was indeed there...