//------------------------------// // The Doctor // Story: Paradox // by CCC //------------------------------// Time Turner staggered back as the light shining out of the brass watch hit him in the face. Then he staggered forward again, collapsing, his head thumping onto the table, The side of his face hit a teaspoon, which pinwheeled up into the air, bounced off a rafter, and landed somewhere among the clocks. “Time Turner?” Twilight teleported to his side, using her telekinesis to hold him up. “Are you alright?” The brown stallion blinked, twice. “How many hooves am I holding up?” asked Twilight. The stallion looked at the napkin, still covered with hoof polish, then back at Twilight. “How are you not dead yet?” he asked. “...what?” “Oh, and you're holding up one hoof.” “What do you mean, why am I not dead yet?” “That hoof polish.” The stallion nodded at the napkin. “It's been mixed with basilisk venom. Absolutely deadly, swift-acting, one of the few poisons that can work on even alicorns. It should have killed you in the time we were talking here.” “What?” “Only one antidote. Potassium breaks it down. I don't know how you survived this long without your insides melting, but you need to teleport to the market, right now, buy all the bananas you can get your hooves on, and eat them!” “What?” “Bananas! Now! Or you'll die!” “I just -” “No time!” yelled the stallion. “Bananas! And bring some with you to the castle! I'll meet you there! If there's more of this hoof polish there, the basilisk venom could have got anypony!” Twilight immediately vanished in a flash of purple. * * * “What's with you and bananas today, Pinkie?” asked Spike, trying to fend off the pink party pony. “They're good for you!” said Pinkie, trying to stuff another banana into Spike's mouth. “And Twilight told me you need lots of potassium!” “Look, I've already eaten half a dozen of the things!” objected Spike. “I've got no more room for any more!” There was a flash of purple, and Twilight appeared, along with a large bunch of bananas. “Spike!” she called out, tossing a few his way. “Here, eat these!” “What is it with you two and bananas?” yelled Spike. “Did you see any brown hoof polish in the throne room?” asked Twilight. “Yeah, I cleaned it up.” “Turns out it's poisoned,” said Twilight, taking another bite of banana. “Bananas are the antidote.” Spike stared at Twilight for a long moment, then rolled his eyes, sighed, and accepted a banana from Pinkie. “Why couldn't you have told me that in the first place?” he asked. “I didn't know,” admitted Pinkie. “Maybe I should get some bananas, too. Maybe I should declare free banana day in Ponyville, just in case somepony gets poisoned! Maybe every day should be free banana day!” Pinkie drew in a deep breath, and then vanished through the doorway fast enough to leave a Pinkie-shaped dust cloud in her wake. For a few minutes, the only sound in the room was the sound of an alicorn and her dragon assistant busily chewing their way through the better part of a large bunch of bananas. Spike was the first to speak. “So, um, who tried to poison you?” he asked. “Time Turner,” said Twilight. “Only... not Time Turner from now. Time Turner from the future. Time Turner from now identified the poison. And I think Pinkie saved my life with bananas.” “Huh,” said Spike. “That's... really odd.” Twilight nodded. There was a sound of galloping hooves outside, rapidly presenting itself as an out-of-breath brown stallion. “Time Turner,” said Spike, stepping forward aggressively and folding his arms. “Not – uh – quite,” he puffed. “Sorry, little – out of – shape.” “Not Time Turner?” asked Spike. “So are you a spy?” The stallion shook his head. “Well, I'm watching you,” said Spike. “You're not laying one hoof on Twi without going through me!” “Not – planning on – harming her,” panted the stallion. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I should introduce myself. Hello, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Spike the dragon. I'm the Doctor.” Spike frowned. “Doctor who?” he asked. “Yes, precisely. One question, Princess. That time traveller who appeared here – how sure are you that he was me?” “He certainly looked like you,” said Twilight. “I mean, I guess he could have been a changeling... actually, changelings can use magic, so one could have cast the time spell, in theory at least...” “Hmmm. Okay.” He glanced down at the belligerent little dragon standing firmly between him and Twilight. “One more question then. Do you have any idea why he tried to kill you?” “No!” insisted Twilight. “No unsavoury habits?” asked the Doctor. “No hidden desires to kill millions and plunge the world into civil war or anything of that sort?” “No!” said Twilight, again. “Who might want to kill you?” asked the Doctor. Twilight shrugged. “Any villain wanting to take over Equestria, I guess,” she ventured. “Tirek, perhaps.” “Hmmm.” “If you're not Time Turner,” asked Spike, “then how come do you look like him?” “Ah, now there's a story,” said the Doctor. “The short version is, I'm a time traveller from – well, it doesn't matter, it doesn't exist anymore, and now it never did. I arrived on Equestria about... oh... seven years ago? Something like that. My TARDIS – my time machine – was damaged, and to make it worse, I was immediately attacked. Don't know who by. Forced to make an emergency landing. TARDIS badly damaged, not going anywhere. So I hid. Changed myself. Put most of my memories – and some other stuff – inside a brass watch. Forgot it all, until I opened the watch, five minutes ago.” The Doctor paused for a moment, taking another deep breath. “Time Turner is, in many ways, who I strive to be. In other ways, he's a... reduced... version of me. There's a lot he, well, didn't remember. He was the perfect disguise – the perfect way to hide from whoever, or whatever, was attacking me.” The Doctor straightened up. “I'm not a killer, Princess. Not if I don't have to be. But if your visitor had been using the time travel spell you're familiar with, the basilisk venom and the hoof polish would have gone back to the future with him. I know how to change it to leave something like that behind... I don't think anypony else would. It really, honestly seems like the future me is trying to kill you. And I, really, absolutely cannot see any possible reason why.” The Doctor smiled, and held out one hoof. “But, after several years in a high-magic harmonic field, my TARDIS will have finished repairing itself. I can't see any possible reason why future me would try to kill you... but would you like to come along and find out?” “Hold it, buster,” growled Spike. “You're not taking Twilight anyplace without me, got it?” * * * “It's an outhouse,” said Twilight. “It's my TARDIS,” insisted the Doctor. “It's a bright blue, locked outhouse,” said Spike. “It's been here years, and it's always locked.” “It's a fully-functional time machine,” insisted the Doctor. “And it's disguised as a police call box, thank you very much.” “A what?” asked Spike. “Look,” said the Doctor, pushing the door open and stepping through it, “if you'll just come inside...” “There's not going to be space for more than one pony at a time!” insisted Twilight. “It's an outhouse!” The Doctor leaned out of the TARDIS, holding the door open. He raised his eyebrows. “...it's bigger on the inside?” said Spike, staring at the vista so revealed. “Yes,” said the Doctor, firmly. “Yes, it is. There is plenty of room for one more pony and a dragon.” He stepped back, into the TARDIS. “Now, if you'll just step along, we can follow this assassin and try to work out what's going on here...”