//------------------------------// // D********s Ponies # 19- 25 and Griffon #1: Nyx, Prince Blue Blood, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, The Flim Flam Brothers, Gilda the Griffon, and He who must not be named. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// One kidnapping montage later: Deadpool sat down on a chair, where his targets are all tied together with ropes above a kiddy pool with toy sharks in it. His targets include: Nyx, Prince Blueblood, Gilda the Griffon, Silver Spoon & Diamond Tiara, the Flim Flam brothers and... him!!! "Are you talking about Powerpuff Girls 'Him', or-" DON'T SAY HIS NAME!!! "What? Do you mean-" SHHH!!!! "...Is it-" SILENCE!!! "...Brad?" NO!!! MY WAIFU!!! DAMN YOU!!! ALL OUR WAIFUS, TAKEN!!! "...You Bronies need a life. And he didn't take MY waif away. Why, she's right... where is she?" ...Who? "MY TACOS!!! DAMN YOU BRAD!!!" At the mention of Deadpool's voice, all his targets began to wake up. "What the-?" Gilda yelled "Where am I?" "Who's there?" Diamond Tiara asked "I'll have you know: My Daddy's rich and he'll arrest you!!! Take Silver Spoon, not me!!!" "HEY!!!" Silver replied "Twilight?" Nix asked with a lot of fear in it "Is this a test?" "I doubt this is a test, young filly." Flim of the brothers said "Indeed," Flam added "The one who has us may have found out our new secret ingredient to show inner beauty." "OOH! If we make it out, I'll have some of that." Prince Blue balls said, complimenting on them but still being disgusted by the ropes they were in. "Come on guys," the thief spoke "We gotta get outta here!!! I need to visit-" "Not another word." Deadpool spoke, silencing the panicked crowd tied up crowd together. They all looked up. Deadpool came in wearing a simple hood over him, keeping his 'identity' a secret. "What's going on!?!?!?" Blue Blood asked "Unhand me this instant!!!" "You mean us, right?" Gilda growled "SILENCE!!!" Deapool interrupted "You all have committed crimes that the Brony Fanbase would love to see you go through." "Like what?" Nyx asked, sobbing a bit. "Easy." Deadpool pulled out his phone and looked at many various memes on why Bronies hate these characters the most. "For you, Nyx, you are, what we call, a "Mary Sue", and perceived derailing effect you are on Twilight's personality." "WHAT!?!?!?" "SHUT THE F**K UP!!! Flim and Flam: you are both the most revolting con artists around and the main reason why we can't sleep, due to your... music." "We are not con artists!!!" Flim yelled "We just ant to make a few quick bits." Flam added "Sure." Deadpool responded, rolling his eyes "Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: you are prejudiced against those with no cutie marks and always make fun of the three innocent, and might I add, cute trio known locally as the 'The Cutie Mark Crusaders'." "It's not my fault that they have no talent!!!" Diamond Tiara barked. "I don't want any of this!!!" Silver Spoon pleaded "I just follow her!!!" "Likely Story," our hero continued "Blueblood: you are the most self-centered creature who's up with extreme irritation that makes all of us want to beat the everlasting S**T out of you!!!" "That... is just vulgar." Blueblood replied "Gilda the Griffon: You made Fluttershy cry. That's it." "Seriously?" Gilda responded "What's so special about her?" "... you b*****d!!! And finally... you! I can't say your name, nor your 'human name', but you... you stole Twilight Sparkle! You made her fall in 'love' with you!!! YOU STOLE EVERYONE'S WAIFUS!!! YOU CAUSED DEPRESSION TO COUNTLESS LIVES!!!" "I did?" He asked "But... we just bumped into each other." "...Know what? I'll start with you first." He grabbed the pegasus out of the other and tightened the rope to make sure they wouldn't escape. Deadpool grabbed the infamous waif thief and stared into him with spiraling eyes!!! "What are you going to do to me?" "...we're going for a ride." The place went pitch black, a spotlight was over Deapool and that awful pony!!! Some music began to play after Deadpool's first two words. "It's not... ♫easy having yourself a good time. Greasing up those bets and betters, watching out they don't four-letter, F**k and kiss you both at the same time. Smells like something I've forgotten, curled up died and now it's rotten. I'm not a gangster tonight, don't want to be a bad guy, I'm just a loner baby and now you're gotten in my way. I can't decide hether you should live or die. Oh, you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry. No wonder why my heart feels dead inside: It's cold and hard and petrified! Lock the doors and close the blinds, we're going for a ride.♫" Deadpool dragged the pegasus by his tail, opening to another room, where Dan was sharpening an Axe with a crazed smile on his face. "♫It's a b***h convincing people to like you. If I stop now call me a quitter, If lies were cats you'd be a litter, pleasing everyone isn't like you. Dancing jigs until I'm crippled, slug ten drinks I won't get pickled! I've got to hand it to you, you've played by all the same rules. It takes the truth to fool me, and now you've made me angry!!! I can't decide whether you should live or die. Oh, you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry. No wonder why my heart feels dead inside: It's cold and hard and petrified! Lock the doors and close the blinds, we're going for a ride!!!♫" Deadpool teleported the two to the side of a cliff with a cake shop behind them! "♫Oh I could throw you in the lake or feed you poisoned birthday cake, I wont deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone. Oh I could bury you alive, But you might crawl out with a knife and kill me when I'm sleeping that's why: I can't decide whether you should live or die. Oh, you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry. No wonder why my heart feels dead inside: It's cold and hard and petrified! Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride." He telported them back to their area spot where all of his targets were still hanging over the kiddy pool. "So... there are ponies who really hate me?" Orange pegasus asked "Oh yes! And many would LOVE to pay me millions just to kill you!!!" "What about these other ponies you kidnapped!?!?!?" "Them? Eh, perhaps a couple thousand." "HEY!!!" Diamond yelled "I'm worth BILLIONS compared to your head!!!" "Correction: I am worth 17 billion, 734 million, 99 thousand, 432 dollars and 17 cents... tax included. You're all just going to add some cash to that list. But now, we get to the good part!!!" Dan came inside and gave Deadpool the axe he was sharpening!!! "ANY LAST WORDS!?!?!?" "DEADPOOL!!!" A booming voice roared through the crowd. A flash of yellow white, and Princess Celestia stood next to them! "F**K YOU MRAQUINO!!! F**K THAT 'Deus ex machina' BULLS**T!!!" "DEADPOOL!!! What is the meaning of this!?!?!?" "Uh... we're... doing... a... jewish circumcision!!!" "...Does it involve using an axe?" "... it can. Uh... DAN!!! DISTRACTION!!!" "NO WAY!!!" Dan replied, running away "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!!" "COWARD!!!" Deadpool looked up to Celestia, who used her magic to take the axe out of his hands. She used the axe and chopped the rope, releasing his targets. "Deadpool," she in an angered tone "Something like can make you-" "Banished on the moon for 1000 years!?!?!?" "... no. You can be-" "Imprisoned in stone!?!?!?" "No! You can be-" "TRAPED UNDER SNOW!?!?!?" "NO! YOU CAN BE-" "LOCKED AWAY IN TARTARUS FOREVER!?!?!?" Celestia face hoofed herself "Sure... why not?" "NEVER!!!" Deadpool put on a gas mask and threw a canister on the floor. On the canister, it was written (though censored for good reasons) 'F**K YOU EX MAKINA'. Smoke began to rise, and everyone who smelt it, fell to the floor, unconscious. Well... what do we do now? WE CAN QUICKLY CUT THEIR HEADS OFF AND ADD THEM TO OUR TROPY COLLECTION NEXT TO TIREK'S!!! We don't have a collection!!! And where did his head go? "I'm pretty sure somepony has him." Somewhere: Tydal was in the middle of a forest. He pulled out his bag and quickly took out the decapitated head of Tirek. "So Tirek," he spoke to the head "how's it like being... light headed!" Silence came between them. A lone breeze flew by the horrible looking O.C. "BOO!" The breeze spoke in it's high pitch irish accent "Y'ER JOKES ARE AWEFUL!!!" Back to the story: Groaning was heard around the Merc. Celestia and all of his targets woke up. "Where are we?" Celestia spoke "Deadpool!?!?!? What's going on?" "Don't worry about it," Deadpool lied to the princess "We're just underneath the old ruins of Twilight's old home, looking for something of value. The Flim-Flam brothers are paying us to do so, you took Blueblood to get out of this house, Gilda is our protection, that guy was trying to hit on her, and those two brats followed here to make fun of this blank flank, who followed me in to find her cutie mark and thought I was pure AWESOMNESS... Which I am." "That... sounds reasonable." "Can we get out of here?" Blue blood complained "this place is SO barbaric." Gilda and the D****e looked at each other. "...So," Mr. D*****bag spoke "Doing anything tonight?" "In your dreams." Gilda replied "BLANK FLANK!!!" The two brats yelled "Stop it!!!" Nyx replied, hugging Deadpool's leg. Deadpool leaned over and picked up the small Alicorn, tempted to snap her neck. "There There," he replied, imagining what it would be like to football kick a small Alicorn. Celestia used her magic and carried Nyx over to her. "What a strange Alicorn." Celestia commented "What's your name, little one?" "My name?" the other Alicorn responded "It's Nyx. Do you know where Twilight is at?" "I sure do. Come on everypony, let's get out of here!" "What a waste of bits." Flim scolded at his brother "It wasn't MY idea." Flam replied. "Hold on!" Deadpool yelled "LET'S HAVE A SELFIE TOGETHER!!!" "Oh YES!!!" Celestia replied "With this group, I'm sure it will be great!" "ALL Together now!!!" Deadpool took out his camera and everyone stood together in a, though tight, rather colorful group! A picture was taken, though Deadpool wants to delete it. Celesita used her magic and all of them teleproted above ground! Though Celestia and Nyx were gone, most likely back in Canterlot, the rest all stood awkwardly in place. Without much to say, all the ponies and single griffon went back to their original paths. Twilight came out of a corner and stood next to Deadpool, who was taking rather deep, angered breaths along. "Hey Deadpool," Twilight greeted herself. "Say, were you... with Flash Sentry?" Deadpool took out the axe and, with the sharp tip, slammed it into his own head right in between his eyes then fell. Some music began to play, with large red text that read 'Critical Mission Failure', with three options below it: a green that read 'continue', a blue that read 'load', and a red that read 'Main Menu'. "I take it you don't like him then, right?"