//------------------------------// // The Land of Celebrations // Story: The Fake Sun - The Tale of a No one that became Princess // by ratedoni //------------------------------// Major villain defeated, top of the world in feelings and everything nice under the sun and moon for the first time in a long long time, so basically, you may be thinking this is the perfect time for me to cease to exist and let the real Sun be part of the world and everypony will be happy with that; the crazy guy that ended up trolling everything and continuously confused and perplexed ponies, dragons and griffins by the hundreds will finally go back home and everypony will live happily ever after. But things don’t work that way. They never do. I don’t know what happened to Celestia, nor am I brave enough to tell ponies what happened to their beloved leader so I will be able to research the whole thing, and more importantly; how the hell am I supposed to tell Luna this? I don’t even know how it worked the first time, I was sure I was in some kind of coma-induced dream for the first few minutes, then I felt the pull from something inside me pressuring me into getting into action, trying to guide me into something that I needed to do, while the pain made me quickly realize that this was, in fact, very much my reality. Trapped inside a pretty pony princess… I was trying for a longer alliteration but couldn’t do it, didn’t know what other word to put there… anyways, I was a pony, and not only a pony, but one that could talk, could still think and basically was in charge of a whole kingdom. I don’t think anypony was quite sure what to make of me at the beginning, but I’m sure they all thought it was the trauma of the ritual that was supposedly made to steal the power of an alicorn and the whole being betrayed by a loved one. For what I discovered it was a sound theory behind the plan, but that unicorn didn’t have the full data, she didn’t have the full information about the power of an alicorn and specifically the one of Celestia. So the pony was burned to a crisp due to so much power being poured into a mortal body, it is like replacing all the blood with lava apparently… not a good image, I know. So there I was, one minute feeling the pressure of a heavy vehicle on top of me and the next one being put into a completely different body and situation, thank god that I’m a good liar, I don’t know if to feel proud or sad with the fact that I am only getting better and better with the years. But it feels cheap; here I am, living even beyond my expectation of life as a human and for all purposes a Highlander with the whole hair and the whole not-dying-of-old-age thingy, and of the real Celestia not even a whisper, all I have is her memories stored in this big old head. I swear that if the perks of being royalty and having all kinds of weird ass whacky adventures and awesome magic weren’t there I’ll probably would have considered suicide, besides, after 3 centuries, or almost, the whole idea of me going out and saying that the princess was upon a time in fact a big hairless male monkey from another reality won’t probably end well for me. So, for the time being it will be me saving the world, planning everything like a master chessman and annoying the shit out of every single living thing in this whole world, just like it should, maybe one day I’ll be able to find Miss Prim and Proper Pretty Perfect Pony Princess… hey! I did it! ----- (Earlier that day) Twilight’s sigh practically made the chariot rumble due to how deep and sincere it had been; it seemed like Princess Celestia had another of her usual set of orders ready for her this time. Is not like she hated them, but sometimes the princess seemed a little too focused on the whole ‘make some friends’ plan for her that it irked her. Twilight already had friends, she had Spike, she had Shining Armor, even Princess Celestia was her friend, well, she was more like the crazy, random world traveling Aunt that was always doing something insane that the rest of the family didn’t know how to react to, but she was fine, more than fine. For as long as she had memory, Princess Celestia was an enigma, one moment she could seem to be the rock that anchored the whole kingdom and the years and things that she had lived through will shine through eyes full of experience and love; And then, the next moment she will summon a kazoo and do a full rendition to Equestria’s Anthem in C minor, and yes, she had seen Celestia do it once, it made her laugh like crazy, but that was only because she was still a little filly and felt a little too overwhelmed by being Princess Celestia’s protégé. Twilight was a little more used to the eccentricities of the princess now, but from time to time it still made her do a double-check on the things that happened around princess Celestia or the things that she said, just like the letter. It didn’t have the usual zing or humor of the princess but it was clear that she had been involved in doing it, just like the whole message, make some friends. Princess Celestia had always pushed her to make more friends, sometimes even throwing her to the wolves… or the middle of a party, just before Princess Celestia herself jumped into it; Twilight had no idea a mosh pit could be so terrifying and confusing until that night, how could ponies enjoy that was still a topic that could create several thesis. But beyond that, even with all the insanity Princess Celestia was the pony she respected the most, even when she practically destroyed the most fundamental ideas Twilight had about how royalty had to conduct themselves both in public and in private, but that she loved her as part of her family, she did, there was no doubt about it. ----- “You know Twilight, she reminded me of Princess Celestia” Although thinking about it, maybe Twilight could put Celestia inside a bag and throw it in the middle of the ocean, that way she will be able to have a normal life. ----- “Too… much… food!” Why did Twilight have to be so susceptible to anything sweet that was put under her nose?! But those Apple Fritters were so good that she was so very tempted to put her face on the plate, eat all of them and then lick the plate clean of every crumb in it as if it was a hay burger. Bad Twilight, never do that… again… she blamed the royal kitchens and the way they spoiled her when she was younger, all those cakes and cookies made life more than sweet for her in the castle and if it wasn’t for Princess Celestia’s idea of getting into the more physical parts of magic she was sure that right now instead of walking like a normal pony with a bulging stomach for over eating, she would be at least 200 kilos pony eating everything sweet around her. But she had to be sincere, it was such great cooking that the Apple family had, and that pie, she could eat Applejack’s pie all day… Twilight stopped at that moment, her face showing the blush even through her fur, it was a good thing she hadn’t said that aloud or she would have been mercilessly teased. Oh Sun and Moon, the last time she had said something that could be taken as a double entendre Princess Celestia didn’t waste any time, Twilight almost fainted due to lack of blood from constant blushing. And talking about all that exercise, her reflexes were top notch from having to dodge and parry spells and attacks, that’s why she was capable of jumping backwards before a streak of colors hit the ground at Mach speed, sadly for Spike he wasn’t trained and was thrown around the mud. Twilight sighed after taking the mud out of her eyes, great hit, great mud wave being splashed everywhere, what else would she have expected? ----- “Let’s run while she is distracted!” Both dragon and unicorn came out of the store as if a wendigo were after their tails; it had been mortifying, crazy and unusual, in conclusion, nothing new for the purple unicorn. At her side Spike was trying to ineffectively hide his grin. “That reminded me of the last time Blueblood tried to get you ready for the Equestria’s Consul Ball,” Those three words together made Twilight cringe at the literal mountain of clothes, accessories and lessons that Prince Blueblood had thrown her into to make her presentable. She cringed just thinking at what would happen if the Prince and that crazy white unicorn met; it would be a nightmare for the usually practical magic apprentice. ----- “IS THERE ANYPONY NORMAL IN THIS TOWN?!” Twilight all but screamed into her pillow at her current predicament, and that predicament was practically everyone in town dancing and partying in the middle of the Ponyville Library. Was this some kind of unusual and sadistic punishment from the part of Princess Celestia? She was known to be a jokester and getting into ponies’ minds and nerves, but this was just ridiculous. “Twilight? What are you doing here? The party is just starting.” “Who cares about a party when Equestria is in danger Spike?” “Is the Summer Sun Celebration’s Eve after all, it is traditional to celebrate the night and wait for the sun to raise, I thought you didn’t mind it.” “I don’t when it is just a small reunion, like the ones in the castle, just Princess Celestia, Blueblood, Sunset, Raven, Kibitz, Shining, Cadence, you and I, but this… this is unnecessary!” “Come on Twilight; don’t be so grouchy, they just wanted to welcome you.” “But that’s the problem, once I am finished with this we will go back to Canterlot, we don’t have time to make friends or meet all these ponies since we won’t stay here, we will never see them again.” ----- And, oh how wrong Twilight had been, because now that it was over, Nightmare Moon stopped, princess rescued, a whole nation saved, she didn’t want to leave. Now she understood what other ponies meant when they said that you had to eat your words. They tasted sour. It must have been obvious in her face because she felt her new friends scooting closer to her. Sun bless her soul, Fluttershy could be scared of almost everything and shy as her name indicated, but if you ever felt wrong she had a heart as big as her wings, meanwhile on the other side she could practically feel the happiness radiating from the pink fur. Pinkie Pie also was hugging her and that made her feel safe, loved. Princess Celestia was right when she talked about friendship and camaraderie among ponies, how they needed others to feel complete, that it was something fundamental in life and boy was she right. “Ya feelin’ better over thar Twyla? Ya look just like Applebloom when her favorite bow fell down on da pig’s mud,” the Apple family accent felt like a fresh breeze for some reason. “Now I do, thank you girls,” the smile that spread on the group of six ponies was enough to banish all sadness in the air. “I have to be sincere, I never thought that Princess Celestia could be so… animated,” Rarity had a small glass of Apple Juice in her magical grip while looking at the huge crowd that were partying like if their lives depended upon it, right in the middle a big white alicorn dancing alongside her small sister, trying to teach her how to dance apparently, and on her back a purple and green dragon that had a white kazoo with the insignia of the sun. It was probably the most valuable kazoo ever made. “You have no idea Rarity, I have been her student since I was little and yet she always finds new ways in which to surprise me, you can think that you know how she is going to act or answer, but I believe not even Princess Celestia knows what she is going to do, that’s the fun part of being around her,” And as much as Princess Celestia irked her, bothered her and made her embarrassed at what she said and did, she loved her. She was that crazy fun-loving aunt that always found new way to break curfew with you and inject happiness into her day, specially the bad ones, it will hurt not to be around her every day, but now she understood why she needed to be in Ponyville, she will learn everything about friendship and Princess Celestia will be proud of her. ----- “Thou… have changed elder sister,” outside of Ponyville, stepping into the new and majestic castle away from the smaller and now crumbling Two Sister’s Castle, Princess Luna seemed to have grown smaller and quiet, all those smiles and peace that she had found in the small town seemed to have evaporated, and it almost broke my heart. “It has been a long time Luna, maybe we will be here for eons, but society moves even without us, customs and traditions change faster than we can track them sometimes, the only thing we can do is change with them. There were many things I learned after you were gone, most of them weren’t nice.” “Really? What are thou talking about?” Inquisitive and always curious, I have no doubt she and Twilight will be great friends. “Hard liquor and alicorn magic don’t mix well, it tends to be… a little volatile, I swear, my fur was pink for several years afterwards, I think you can find figurines of me with that image, they can get a nice price for collectors I heard,” The image of me being a life size replica of the original toy of Princess Celestia was enough to send me to the floor with laughter, but I made the look work, especially after all the nobles started to dye their pelts pink to emulate their Princess, some of them looked ridiculous. At my side I swear that Luna was trying to hold her laughter at the mental image, it just made me so happy to see her smile. Probably the best part of being Celestia was that it brought me the opportunity to cheer everybody, be it a pony, dragon, gryphon, zebra, they were all important to me, even if I had to grow into the role of a ruler, if I didn’t have a lot of help back then there wouldn’t be an Equestria for Luna to come back. “Thou are ridiculous Elder Sister, but thank you for being… so forgiving.” “It wasn’t your fault Luna, it never was.” “Thank you… but are thou sure thy apprentice will be in good hooves in that small meadow?” “Luna, if there are ponies I can trust, is the ones of Ponyville, you saw how they received you, she will grow even stronger and happier than in Canterlot… and yes, it will hurt, it hurts to grow up, but having ponies at your side can help you learn even the most hurtful lessons.” “Wish… wish I had the chance back there to learn that.” “Nononono, no sad faces tonight, tonight is one to finally rest from the nightmares, tonight you are free, tonight is your first night in Equestria… tonight you sleep among friends and family little sister,” I said to her watching that smile grow a bit, still shy and insecure, but soon it will show that spark of knowledge and power that made the night so awesome! “Thou are correct Elder Sister, this is a night for me to rest, finally to fall into the dreamless embrace of sleep at last… goodnight sister,” Luna finally rested her head upon the pillow and closed her eyes, practically falling asleep in an instant, I guess she wasn’t ready for a party yet. With a huge smile on my face I practically danced my way to my personal chambers knowing that tomorrow will bring much more fun and work in our way. The chambers that I had prepared for Luna were practically the same as mine, of course with less colorful decorations, poor Lulu wasn’t quite yet ready for things like drums, cannons and the rest of my paraphernalia that I had accumulated in 3 centuries. Finally resting my eyes after a day full of shenanigans and knowing that the moon was finally at the hands of her rightful companion I let the sweet embrace of sleep come to me, just to get thrown into the world in the worst way, with the feeling of fire. I was immune to fire but this felt weird, it felt horrible, I felt weak, alone and hurt, and I knew very well what was in front of me. The flaming wreckage of steel and carbon fiber that once were cars in the middle of a highway. Looking at my hands with fingers still showing shallow cuts and blood only confirmed my fears. This was my worst nightmare come true. This was my human body.