//------------------------------// // Chapter 21: An epic sword fight indeed // Story: The Hacker Pwny // by Chetzi //------------------------------// "Why can't we just run up and stab him?" I asked Cortez as I impatiently tapped my foot on a hidden balcony we were hiding in. She turned to me and said, "No, do you want the whole Italian army on you?" "I say we just run up and stab the bitch then respawn home. I works in the game." "This isn't a game. Didn't you say the same thing about your world? About how there was alcohol and other things you wouldn't find on the show?" "I guess you're right. So, does that mean the guards here have a brain?" "Some. Most of the common red ones are complete idiots. The others are about as smart as the average human was in this time period." "Noted. So then, what can you tell me about our target?" "He's the king of a small but powerful hidden community to the west of England. His name is Mâché Villa. He's taken in and experimented on thousands of nobles and commoners. They all died. He never leaves his lair and is heavily guarded. Also a master swordsman. That's all I know for now. I think we should impersonate guards and-" I cut her off with, "So, a twisted sociopath with extensive medical and scientific knowledge. And has a penchant for swords. I like him already. But I will kill him if we really need to. You should be glad I'm here. I'm a master tactician. Let's do this idiotic spy movie style. A man like him will never see it coming. He will just think it will be medical tools, and he'll want no one to see what's inside, so he'll just take the box in without anyone checking. Unlike your guard idea where someone as paranoid as him will most likely check every guard personally." "I'm not sure if he's paranoid." "I can tell he is from the fact that no one ever leaves. He's afraid someone might tell. And he doesn't kill them with every experiment, they live, barely. And I would be paranoid if I did stuff like that also." "Good point. When should we strike?" "During the day. I think he would expect a night attack, and I bet he's less awake considering what he does. The sun's almost set, we should gather a large crate, and start heading there. How far is it?" "About two clicks." I nodded and we jumped down the balcony. August 9, 6:16 P.M. I hid in a large wooden crate with Cortez next to me. The box was placed right outside of the castle. It wasn't long until a somewhat athletic man came limping out of the castle. He looked about thirty, and had a large scar going over his right eye. Medical tools were in pockets on his shirt. This must be our guy. In Twilight's library at the same time. "I have to agree with Fluttershy on this. Neon could use help." Twilight said to her five friends that were all standing near her. It was a calm, yet somewhat deep conversation. Rainbow Dash said, "I've been with him longer than all of you, and I think he's a cool guy. We shouldn't bother him with all this emotion crap." Rarity said, "Yes you have dear, but something seemed to be hurting him and I can't stand it." Pinkie Pie said, "I say party! Everyone loves parties!" Twilight replied with, "The last party he went to involved you dragging him out of here. And he doesn't like ponies. Maybe we should drop a few hints and let him figure it out." Applejack said, "Naw, dat will take too long. Maybe we should just straight up tell him an' and say we're trying ta help." Fluttershy whispered, "I think we should show him-" Rarity cut her off with, "We need to stop this immediately. I can't imagine how much pain he must be. He has a hard outer shell and won't show emotion easily." Fluttershy whispered again, "A good way would be to-" Twilight cut her off saying, "I know he must be in pain, but if we're too direct, it will just scare him off, and we won't get another chance." Fluttershy said much louder, "GIRLS! Sorry for yelling but, I think we should each spend a day with him and see if we can make him feel better. One of us should be able to do something of we spend a bit of time." They all nodded in unison, except Pinkie Pie who was trying to stop an iris-in transition from happing. "Nooooooo!" Pinkie yelled as it closed. Also at the same time in the royal castle. "No, I think this new system is a better idea." Luna said to Celestia as the stood near each other in the throne room. Colby was in pony form as he stood next to Luna. He was white skinned with a grey and yellow striped mane that fell loosely on his shoulders. Celestia said, "Both of us ruling the land has been working forever and everypony likes it." "Yes, that's true, but I like this demo-chasy idea." Colby cleared his throat and said, "Democracy. And it's a complex system." Luna said, "What sir Colby said. You know you're nothing without your people. And I'm willing to bet that most ponies will like my idea better. The system we use was used in the older times of Earth. Now a lot of them use the new system. Therefore if we want to keep moving forward, we need to adopt this new system." Celestia said, "I've noticed your speech is modernizing quickly." "Yes, the humans have a great education for English. I even learned a few new words such as, pwn, noob, fag, and just a slew of strange words that are just a delight to yell at people in video games." "Well, back to the matter at hand. I'm not going to change. It's always worked, and it always will." "If you won't change, then I will secede from your rule. It's a common thing on Earth." Colby said, "Uhh, it's not that common and it's often followed by a long and bloody war that neither side wants to fight-" Celestia cut him off. "I'm warning you. I will not allow this to happen." Luna said, "Then don't. I'm willing to fight for the people." "If I can't persuade you, then war it is." Luna walked out of the castle, dragging Colby with her. He couldn't help but think this was his fault. Dylan's point of view. Cortez and I were being dragged into the small castle via the box. The air's smell pierced my nostrils and the hallway was very dim with cobwebs coating every corner. I could hear faint, distant screams of terror and pain. I looked between the wood planks and saw the man attempting to open the box. I gave a signal to Cortez, she held a tiny smoke bomb between her fingers. As a wooden board came snapping off the crate, I said, Play this music in the background. "Now!" Cortez threw the bomb on the floor. A small firecracker sound was heard and thick black smoke engulfed all of us. Cortez swiftly rolled out of the box and repeatedly stabbed the man. The smoke cleared, and the man's shirt was torn and covered in holes, revealing chain mail. He pulled out a fancy golden sword and brought it over Cortez's head. I rushed forward, and kicked the sword away. The man jumped backwards, holding his sword in the ready position. I pulled out a sword Cortez had given me. Cortez did the same. We nodded at each other and charged the man. Everything turned white as a loud clanking sound was heard. The man had two swords out, blocking both of us. I glided to the right and spun around. My sword swung at his back in one fluid motion. In the blink of an eye, he moved his sword behind him, blocking my attack. This guy's fast. He slammed his right foot onto my ankle and I reeled back, landing on my ass. He took this chance to attack Cortez. They swung their swords rapidly. Sparks and clanking sounds flew everywhere as the weapons were a blur. They exchanged blow after blow, neither side showing any sides of slowing down. I jumped up and charged, the sword pointed straight at him. He rolled backwards, causing me to lose my balance. The man then sprung upwards, holding his sword over his head as he soared over me. I shifted my weight and juked over to the right. His sword hit the ground with a clank and he shot upwards at me. I was still out of balance, and I couldn't move my sword fast enough. Cortez appeared out of nowhere and blocked his attack. Random intermission. "Cutiemark Crusaders trampoline builders go!!!" The CMC yelled as they attempted to connect oddly shaped pieces of metal for their clubhouse. Random intermission over. Cortez jumped backwards and I stepped backwards to match her distance. She gave me a glare that I could tell meant we should charge him at the same time. I nodded back and we both shot forward in near perfect sync. Cortez swung her sword over him, I swung below him. He caught us both in a guard with his swords. I slid my sword of the end of his and it slashed his skin. He jumped backwards, clutching his right bicep. There was a deep gash seeping blood. He shrugged the pain off and charged at me in a blood fury. His eyes glared at me with pure hatred. I held my ground and put my sword vertical across my chest. He yelled as he struck blow against blow on my sword. I heard a snap, and my sword broke off. New feeling returned to my feet as I slammed a fist into his solar plexus. He staggered backwards and breathed heavily. I glanced at my sword, it only had about three inches of steel left and a very jagged end. I said to Cortez, "We need to end this now!" I threw my broken sword at the man and charged at him with my shoulder. He blocked my sword, but I slammed into his chest, knocking him backwards. Cortez took the chance and jumped over him, sword going right to his face. I grabbed his left hand and twisted it, grabbing his sword. I jumped backwards as Cortez's sword slashed him. They were locked in a sword swing. Cortez struggled as she was being pushed back. The man twisted his sword and swung Cortez's sword to the side. She was now defenseless and had a sword pointed straight at her. Oh fuck this. I kicked a nearby lit candle stick at him, it connected and he burst into flames. He screamed as he thrashed all over the floor. Cortez stomped on his neck, ending his pain. His dead body slowly burned as we walked out. Once the somewhat fresh air and sun surrounded us, I said, "Well, I guess that's it then. He's dead." Cortez held up one of the man's golden, shiny, engraved sword. It glistened in the sun as she twisted it. Cortez coldly said in her Spanish accent, "I think I'll keep this. A nice memento to remind me I'm an assassin. Although, I think we should be heading back. I've missed having running water." I laughed and pulled the respawn device out of my pocket. Cortez nodded as she put her hand on the large red button. I put my hand over hers and pressed down. A click was heard and we were covered in a shower of white sparkles. The hot and rugged terrain turned into a mist of darkness and cool air. I wiped a small head of sweat off of my forehead. That could have gone so much worse. At least it works. Cortez was still wearing her white assassin ropes as she plopped down onto a nearby couch. We were in my living room. Chuck said, "Finally, you're back. I almost missed that beautiful, emotion-filled voice of yours." I picked him up and said, "Stow the sarcasm. Anything new happen?" "Well, there have been a few rumors about the government trying to invade-" "I don't give a fuck about your governmental conspiracies. Unless you have proof, not evidence, don't tell me." "Fine fine. Oh yeah, and I've been having cyber sex with that purple unicorn thing." My eyebrows raised at this. "How?" "I can send data back and forth like it was living cells over the portal thing I'm currently plugged into. And Twilight said that the laptop you made in Equestria was close to typewriters, and she picked it up quickly. Can you go talk to her? She won't shut the fuck up with questions, and I can't just disconnect a pretty lady like her." "She's a pony." "And I'm a phone. Species means nothing to me." Fair enough, I guess. It would be a quick trip, and after kicking that guy's ass I felt much better. I shrugged my shoulders, I guess it was the least I could for him. I recalibrated the MTSC to Canterlot. I walked in, and bam I was there. Twilight was tapping on the black keyboard as she read the green letters on screen. I walked up to her and said, "Hey twilight, Chuck wants you to ask more questions." Wait, something's off. Something's... weird. For some reason, Twilight was much shorter, and smelled like a new book. Odd, I haven't noticed how she smells yet. She turned to me, and her eyes went wide. She then shook her head and asked, "N-Neon? Is t-that you?" What does she mean 'is that you'? I looked down my body, then it mentally hit me. I was still human. What... the... fuck? I told Twilight, "Yes, err, this what I normally look like. For some reason, I wasn't changed when I got here." Must be something wrong with the bioconverter. Probably null code cache. Just need to purge it, and it should be fine. Back on Earth. "That idiot fell for it!" Chuck said in a victory tone of voice. "I never thought he would just go right in, not noticing me fucking with the portal thing." Cortez said, "What exactly did you mess up?" "Just that thing thats transforms you. Don't worry, it's not really broken. It just wasn't on." Back to Dylan. "Okay then. So you can go between human and pony?" Twilight said. I replied with, "Yes." "What about other things?" "No, it must have an already made life form to create the correct data." "How far and what speed can you travel?" "I'm not going to stand here all day and answer your questions. I have better things to do." I start to walk back to the portal, but Twilight captured in my a purple bubble of magic. "Please! Just a few more!" I pushed the bubble, it now seemed to have a hard surface. It didn't move, and I reeled back my fist. I shot my fist forward, and the area around the impact shattered like glass. A shower of small sparkly pieces of glass came shooting out, then quickly dissolved into air. The rest of the bubble slowly lost form and melted into air like a gas. Strange, that didn't work last time I trapped. Well, to be fair, I was freaking out and a lot weaker in the new form. No, I think humans may have some kind anti-magic resistance. I used sheer willpower to not be stuck here, it might have something to do with that. Maybe it's how violent they are, or their sense of justice. I don't nor care. It's not like there's going be some giant, cross solar system war or anything. I turned toward the portal, but I heard something loud, like something large and metal falling. The ground shook slightly. I dashed out of the building, to find something that I never thought would happen. There was propaganda. Everywhere. Every patch of grass, every spot on a wall, just everything that could have a poster on it, did. There were two different posters. So it seems Celestia and Luna are having a political fight. This can't be good. Ponies were marching around, screaming rhymes and poems about their side is better. This could break out into war at any time. I could see badly hidden modified party canons at every corner. Actually, they may need war. If they don't vent the anger, it will be even bloodier later on. And I'm not the type who interferes in war.