//------------------------------// // Hooey Science // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// "This is beyond bizarre!" Stu Leaves slapped down a notebook, upsetting a cloud of dust inside Shindig's home. He looked across the living room's sea of notes and scrap paper. "So, all this time, Frederick Flim and Felix Flam weren't really travelling entrepreneurs. It was all a cover for this... crazy archaeology project! A sham!" "With names like theirs, could you blame them?" Rainbow Dash muttered, fishing through the mountain of papers with blue forelimbs. "I've already found several bank notes for loans taken to fund a 'new experimental cider mill.' That must be how they got all of the electrical gadgets powering up that thingy that Shindig's sitting in." "Their own mother..." Stu shook his head in shock. "It just boggles my mind. What are they even hoping to accomplish?" "Beats me, but they fooled a lot of ponies into helping them along the way." Rainbow Dash shuddered, looking away. "Even Fancy Pants... jeez..." "Huh?" Stu glanced over, blinking. "Er, nothing. Just..." Rainbow sighed, wincing as she flexed a numb forelimb. "J-Just remembering something a stallion told me several weeks ago." "Hey, Rainbow, are your legs alright?" Rainbow Dash jerked. She immediately resumed pilfering through the various notes and maps. "Uhhhh... of c-course!" She gulped. "Why wouldn't they be?" "'Cuz, for the past few days, I couldn't help but notice you grimacing in pain a bit while you—" "H-hey!" Rainbow Dash waved, then lifted an old book that she had found beneath a rubbish pile. "Check this out!" "Er... how's an old book going to be of use to us now?" Stu asked. She turned it around so that the cover faced him. A sticky-note was plastered on the side with the words "Relics of Ancient Alicornia" hastily scribbled. "Oh..." Stu blinked, trotting over to stand next to her. "Good find." "Is it, though?" Rainbow Dash began flipping through the pages. "Could just as well be any stupid old manuscript picked up from a library." Her eyes narrowed. "Guh... and we just can't afford to read through every friggin' page! Not with Applejack conked out along with the rest of—" Stu cleared his throat, then reached in over Rainbow's shoulder. "It's a lot easier... considering that Frederick and Felix have done all the reading before us." "H-huh?" Rainbow Dash blinked in confusion, until she realized that the stallion was flipping through the book until it opened to a very obvious bookmark. There, along the right page, an entire paragraph had been highlighted in bright yellow. "Oh. Uh... awesome?" Stu smirked briefly. "Go on. Read it. What does it say?" "I'm... uh... not the best when it comes to eggheading." "Fine. Then I'll read it." Stu grasped the book from her and squinted at the golden paragraph. "...'And if the ancient manuscripts found deep within the Canterlot mountain's crystal caves are presumed to be true, then this lends credence to a radical theory about the fate of the alicorn race: namely that they split off in two vastly different directions, experiencing dramatically different fates. One group, enchanted by pure greed and malice, transformed themselves into metamorphic wraiths that mysteriously disappeared amongst the Equestrian populous. The other group, however, peacefully and harmlessly vanished into thin-air, utilizing a magic that is spoken of in the ancient tongue as N'lywhymnm, meaning Heavenly Ambrosia. To reach such a celestial peak of existence—making themselves invisible to the mortal eye—they had to drink from a goblet sculpted out of pure Ether, which is the hypothetical substance of the black void that exists beyond known stars. While modern day scientists scoff at the idea of purified Ether—and with good reason—it cannot change the fact that over thirteen different ancient civilizations all bear a legend referring to this same tale, of old ancient gods who drank from a chalice made out of utter darkness so that their souls vanished forever from this world. The implications of this are astounding, for if the ultimate desire of immortals was to leave this plane, then what is in store for the future of mortal kind?'" The stallion grimaced slightly. He slapped the book shut with a sigh and shook his head. "Rainbow, I don't think this is getting us anywhere. So what if Shindig and her sons believed in this hooey? It still doesn't tell us what they're doing to Applejack and how we can get her out of there..." Silence. He looked up, blinking around. "Rainbow Dash?" "Stu..." He turned around. She stood before the broad map hanging on the wall, with several pins and strings converging around a note that screamed: "Chalice Found!" Her tail flicked as she turned around and gazed softly at him. "Just think for a moment. What if it is true? I mean... that the brothers had found this ancient Chalice that allowed the alicorns to vanish from this world?" "Rainbow, you saw Applejack," Stu Leaves exclaimed, placing the book down onto a table. "Did she look 'vanished' to you?" "Yes, but she's mortal." Rainbow blinked. "Mulia Mild, Donut Joe, Gustave le Grand... they're all mortals." She gazed up at the map once more. "Their bodies are here. But their consciousness?" Stu shuddered, trotting towards her. "You're starting to sound like Silver Shill." "Maybe I do." "So... d-does this mean that we should believe him?" Rainbow exhaled. "I'm mostly trying to wrap my head around what Shindig wants out of all this..." Her lips trailed off, and her eyes twitched. "...the urn." "Huh...?" Stu Leaves blinked. "What if..." Rainbow Dash paced around, thinking out loud. "What if Phillip Philanthropy's ashes are in that?" Stu glanced at a framed photograph sitting on the edge of a table. He pointed at it. "You mean Shindig's husband? The one you showed me in these photos?" "Right. Picture this." Rainbow Dash sat back on her haunches, holding her forelimbs up. "Philanthropy dies... right? Serenity Shindig just about collapses in grieft. So, like, she's so dang sad that she almost gives up on the farm. This causes her twin stallions—Frederick Flim and Felix Flam—to feel super responsible over their mom. Then they catch wind of this Alicorn Chalice thingy, and—like—it's a wild shot in the dark, but they nevertheless travel all around, digging up dirty and excavating all around Equestria." "They run into Silver Shill and he joins their little psycho party." "Right." Rainbow nodded. "And then they find this Chalice. And, somehow, it can take their consciousness to this 'other plane' that was only ever accessed by immortals before." Stu shuddered. "In theory." "Just hear me out." Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed. "What if... like... there's a chance—or at least they think that there's a chance—of reuniting with the spirit of Shindig's dead husband?" "You mean..." Stu clenched his teeth. "...as in beyond the dead?" "I'm pretty sure Philanthropy hasn't been suntanning in Dream Valley all this time, Stu." "I... I dunno, Rainbow Dash." Stu rubbed his head, wincing. "We're getting into all sorts of metaphysical wackiness." "It's a strange world, Stu," she said. "There stands to be an even stranger universe." "But it's been five years!" Stu exclaimed. "Even if ghosts and spectres and life beyond the grave is all real... I mean..." He shrugged wildly. "How in Tartarus' name is anypony supposed to expect a soul like Philanthropy sticking around his own ashes for that long?" Rainbow Dash gazed into the shadows, rubbing her chin. "I mean... even if all of the weird things we've discovered could be true, that is the biggest stretch of all, don't you think?" Stu gulped. "And even if Shindig and her sons were to find Philanthropy's 'ghost' or whatnot—how does Applejack fit into this? Or the other three for that matter?" "You mean, why have this otherworldly 'meeting' to begin with?" "Exactly!" Rainbow blinked. "...they were all invited... to see if they were competent... for inheriting Shindig's farm and cider mill..." Stu raised an eyebrow. "But it was all a cover for deception, Rainbow. We both know that." "Yes... but..." Rainbow looked up at him. "What if there was some truth in that?" "How do you mean?" "What if this is all still a contest to see who among the four is most worthy!" "Most worthy of what?" Rainbow simply stared at Stu. Stu Leaves' ears drooped a he paled. "I... I-I'm not sure I like the direction this conversation is going." "We have to know more." With flaring nostrils, Rainbow Dash dove once more into the notes. "Quick! Help me!" "Help you with what?" "Never mind ancient books and maps, we gotta find something more personal," Rainbow Dash said. "Like a journal or something!" "But that could be anywhere!" "Right! So help me look!" She glanced up with a brief frown. "Everywhere."