"Well hello there, my name is Sheriff Brown, and I am in charge of the Equestria Police Department. As you can see, I'm currently standing outside of our headquarters in Canterlot. With me, currently, are some of the most efficient police officers that the force has to offe-" officer brown stopped in mid-sentence when he noticed that only five of the six officers were present. "Where’s Blazer?" Officer Brown said, noticing that the yellow and red unicorn was missing.
"We don't know." said one of the officers "We haven't seen him in a whi-"
"HERE I AM!!"
All the officers turned to the voice, which they all recognized as Blazer. The stallion soon approached the group.
"Sorry I'm late. I had to take care of some police business." Blaze said with a smile.
"What did you do, Blazer?" Sheriff Brown said, curious to why he was late.
"Oh, well, I saw this one green unicorn, but then I saw she was using green magic, so right there and then, I knew she was changeling!"
"Oh Celestia…” Officer Brown groaned, rubbing his brow. “Please tell me you didn-"
"Yep! I pulled out my cuffs and I arrested her." Blazer said with a proud smile. All the officers were absolutely shocked.
"DAMMIT BLAZER!!" yelled Sheriff Brown.
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COPS Equestria
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"So Ms. Roseluck, you called saying there’s an intruder in your flower patch, is that correct?" asked the green and grey mare known as Officer Peppermint (who was a Pegasus) along with her white-coated and blacked-maned stallion partner Paddy (who was unicorn).
"Yes. He’s been coming by each and every week! He's in my flower patch right know!" Roseluck said with fear in her eyes.
"Don’t worry ma’am. If you could just take us to your flower patch right now, we may be able to catch the culprit and everything will be okay." Paddy said to the scared mare.
"Sure, I can do that. Please just be careful." said Roseluck.
The mare guided Officers Peppermint and Paddy to her flower patch around her house.
"Don't worry, miss. There's nothing we can't handle. Whether it be murderers or-" Paddy along with Peppermint stopped in their tracks when they saw the culprit. "…A...bunny?"Paddy and Peppermint stared confusingly at Roseluck looking for an answer.
"Yes! A bunny! It's been eating all my flowers and when I tried to stop the rabbit, it tried to kill me!"
After a brief silence, the two officers laughed at Roseluck.
"The rabbit tried to kill you? Please… That's the stupidest thing I’ve eve-" Peppermint was suddenly interrupted by the rabbit pouncing on her face. "OH DEAR CELESTIA ITS BITING MY FACE, ITS BITING MY FACE, KILL IT, KILL IT!!!" Paddy immediately pulled out his gun.
*BANG*BANG*BANG*
The rabbit fell to the ground dead, leaving a heavily breathing Peppermint to point at it. "You....can't hurt....anyone..anymore." Peppermint gasped.
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COPS Equestria
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A brown stallion (who was a Pegasus), known as Sheriff Brown, was having a coffee break with his current partner, an all-grey stallion (and also a large earth pony), named Stone.
"Man…I sure do love me some justice." Brown said.
"Yeah, and I like rocks." said Stone.
Brown was confused with Stone.
"Wait you mean like...as collectibles or-"
"No…I mean, romantically… I really like rocks."
As Stone said this, Sheriff Brown could tell he was serious, which only led him to yell out…"WHAT THE FU-"
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COPS Equestria
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Suddenly, a male griffin awoke from his sleep, screaming. "What’s wrong honey?" qustioned his concerned wife.
"I just had the worst dream about these equestrian police officers demanding my ID! And- And when I gave it to them, they started beating me senseless."
"Oh honey… it was just a dream! You're in the griffon kingdom, while those cops are all the way in Equestria. Now just try and get some rest."
The male griffon agreed with his wife.
"Okay. Alright honey, I'll try." He soon fell back asleep, however he and his wife never saw Sheriff Brown starring at them through the window with an evil smile tapping one hoof with a baton.
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COPS Equestria
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"I swear! I'm telling you the truth!" Doctor Whooves exclaimed as the officers cuffed him. "I can travel through time and space! That thing over there is my time machine!" He pointed his hooves at the blue telephone station.
"Look sir, we don't know exactly how you stole that telephone station, but it’s still public property." said Peppermint, dragging along the stallion. "We’re going to have take you in for questioning. You have the right to remain silent. Anything- " Peppermint was suddenlyinterrupted by Doctor Whooves struggling to escape from her grasp.
"NO! I CANT GO TO JAIL I CAN-" He was stopped by Sheriff Brown who electrocuted him with his stun gun set to high.
All of the officers looked at the unconscious stallion, and then looked at Sheriff Brown, surprised.
"What?" Brown asked with a shrug of his shoulders. "The guy was freaking crazy! I mean who even steals a telephone station?”
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COPS Equestria
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Later in downtown Ponyville, Sheriff Brown and Officer Blazer were sitting together, having a conversation.
"…I mean, sometimes I just feel like nopony appreciates what we do." said Brown
"I know, right? I mean, this one time I was chasing down a thief and I shot him because he was to fast an-"
"What did the thief steal?" Brown asked with a stern face.
"An apple." Blazer said as he smiled. Sheriff Brown, however, only sighed at his response.
"Dammit Blazer..." Brown groaned. "Well, at least I see you're point. The public just doesn't trust us anymore. They probably think we’re just a bunch of stupid jerks."
"No way...."
"Yep."
"Well we just gotta prove to them they’re wrong and show them how smart and kind we truly ar-" Blazer stopped in mid-sentence when he heard what sounded like something being dragged. Blazer and Sheriff Brown turned to where the noise was coming from. What they saw was an earth pony stallion covered in blood, dragging a strange bag.
"Excuse me, sir." Brown said to the stallion who jumped when he saw the two officers approaching.
The stallion knew this wasn't going to end well, but he wasn't about to go to prison. Before he could pull out his knife, the brown coated officer spoke.
"Would you like some help with that bag of yours?" He said with a friendly smile.
"We would be so happy to help." added Blazer.
The stallion's confused face was quickly replaced with a smile."Uhh… of course you can! I'd love some help." The stallion replied.
"Great! Come on, Blazer. This poor fella needs us obviously smart police officers to help him." Officer Brown said as he grabbed the opposite side of the strange bag while Blazer used his magic to lift it.
"Wow! This is pretty heavy. What’s in this bag, anyways?" Sheriff brown asked.
"Uhh… fruit punch." The stallion said, his eyes shifting left and right nervously. “Lots and lots of fruit punch..."
"Fruit punch, huh… Well that would explain the red stuff all over it." Brown said, fully convinced that the red stuff dripping from the big bag was fruit punch. (I mean, what else could it be?!)
"Alright we’re here." The stallion said as the three stopped at his destination… which was the bridge hanging over the town's river.
"Wait. You're dumping the fruit punch in the river?" asked Blazer.
"Uhh... Yes. It's uhh... really, really old fruit punch, and the bag needs to go with it because it's…uhh...stained." Once again, the stallion’s eyes motioned left and right.
"Oh, okay then. That makes sense. Well, let’s throw this thing on three." They began to shout in unison.
"One..."
"Two…"
"THREE!"
All at once they threw the body- I mean - fruit punch into the river.
"Thanks so much officers."
"We’re hust doing our job, sir." Brown said with pride.
A few yards away from the whole scene stood Twilight Sparkle, who saw the whole ordeal and she now had a stern look on her face.
"Princess Celestia really needs to stop hiring idiots."