The Guardian
If Flash Sentry was honest with himself, he did not really want to be a member of the royal guard. He had always thought he wanted to be a musician, not a guard. However, after his first serious gig, he could not concentrate on his music career. That silly promise from years ago could not be forgotten. He was a stallion of his word, and that was why he was trying his hoof at being a guard.
Still he was unsure of himself; that may be why he still did not have his cutie mark. It was quite embarrassing to be a blank flank at his age. He saw all of the mocking and pitying looks sent his way for it. It was already bad enough that he was a pegasus in Canterlot, but a full grown stallion without a cutie mark? It was just sad.
A selfish part of him hoped that fulfilling the promise would be enough to earn it. Surely, a part of himself must have thought that he was meant to do this; why else would the promise haunt him so? Why else would he willingly subject himself to three years and eight failed attempts?
He always made such big mistakes that each attempt ended with the royal guard captain, Shining Armor, kindly but firmly telling him he was not fit to be a member. He could understand why for his first few tryouts -- setting fire to the food storage house, causing a small tornado, and accidentally unleashing a gerbil stampede were a bit problematic -- but even as he improved each time, the response never changed. It never ceased to embarrass him when stallions younger than him quickly and easily made it.
There had been a few times he wondered if it was his coat that was the problem. Unlike the traditionally white pegasi or the dark gray bat ponies, he was an orange pegasus. It was comforting when a pink pegasus was accepted at his last tryout; even if it was disheartening that he was overlooked once again. And, if it was not his coat he doubted it was his blue eyes and mane either.
Whatever he was missing, he was sure he would figure it out someday. Until then, he would just have to try out as many times as it took. Even if he gained a reputation as the most pathetic pegasus in Canterlot, he would not give up.
"See that orange pony over there?" a gray unicorn a few ponies down the line whispered to his neighbor. "That's the Flash Sentry!"
"Wow! I've heard of him; didn't he nearly get Princess Celestia's crown melted down or something?"
"No, no, that's just an old joke apparently. My brother's already in the guard and explained that that's the joke about why they couldn't accept him. He's just too clumsy!"
"I feel bad for him," an earth pony said a few ponies ahead of him. "I can't imagine living as a failure my entire life."
"I don't know," the unicorn next to him replied, "I think it's kind of impressive that he's still a blank flank. Give it another ten years and he'll be the oldest blank flank in history! Excluding alicorns of course; I heard they earned their cutie marks pretty late in life..."
Well, at least I'm famous, Flash thought scornfully.
It took a few more hours, but Flash's turn was just upon him and he started to feel nervous again. This happened every time. He was always so enthusiastic, but the minute he's put in front of the judges -- especially Captain Armor, the youngest captain in history -- he felt himself freeze up. What if he forgot his routine? What if he forgot his name? What if he forgot their names? What if he forgot Princess Celestia's name?
The written test was bad enough; how could he have almost forgotten to study the ten minute Battle of the Bunnies? Sure it wasn't on the test, but it could have been! And he nearly forgot to write his name and, of course, he almost made the mistake of putting his old band's name, Flash Drive, on it again.
"Flash Sentry," Captain Armor said clearly but wearily.
"Ma'am -- I mean, Sir! Sir! I'm so sorry, Sir! What I mean to say is --" Flash stuttered.
"Just get on with it," First Lieutenant Golden Knight grumbled, his wings twitching in agitation.
"Sir! I am unsure what more I can showcase, sir! I mean, um, sir, um, that is to say, this is my ninth try and I have already shown all of my fighting techniques, stood guard for twelve hours, rebuilt Canterlot Gardens, and ate thirteen apples in one bite. I do not know what more I should do, um, sir!"
"You have done a lot, Sentry," Captain Armor mused, rubbing his jaw. "And, yet, I still don’t think you’re ready to join the guard yet. In fact, I have to ask why you even keep trying despite your constant failures."
"It’s my dream, sir! I have wanted to be a member since I was a foal."
"You sure about that, Sentry?" First Lieutenant Knight asked. "Look it’s been three years and none of your showcases -- performances -- have even earned you your cutie mark. Somewhere in your heart, you know this is not what you are meant to do."
"B-But --"
"No, Sentry," Captain Armor said softly, "Golden Knight’s right. I understand your dream but this isn’t working. You can’t spend your life on a dream that won’t happen. I’m sorry but I can’t accept you in the guard and I don’t want to see you here next year. You need to sit back and think about who you are and what you truly want out of life. Go find your true calling, your true desire."
"Sir!" Flash choked out, saluting with his shaky hoof before he ran away.
Flash sat in the woods just outside of Canterlot; he could not believe that happened. He was expected to just give up on his promise. Could he really admit to throwing away three years of his life? Could he really admit he failed once again?
Failure was not new to Flash; when he was seriously running his band he had dealt with every bad review and rejection with as much grace as was expected. It ultimately led to fights between his best friends and hatred for his guitar. In the end, he failed to see meaning in his band and went back to that old promise. Now he failed to even live up to it.
Do I really want to be a guard? Flash wondered once again. I doubt Uncle would be that upset with me if I told him… But, what if I really did disappoint him? Could I live with myself if I did?
That was the question he kept asking himself; could he truly give up on that promise? What happened to his uncle was unfair and he wanted to help him by living out his dream. It was why he had made that promise. He had avoided him for three years, embarrassed at his failure, and worried he will see disappointment in his eyes.
Flash groaned loudly; he just wanted to find what he was meant to do! Was that so much to ask for? Most ponies knew who they wanted to be and what they wanted to be ages ago! What was wrong with him? What made him so strange?
"What is wrong with me!?" he yelled, kicking a small pebble as hard as he could.
He froze when he heard a loud crack and slowly looked up at where the pebble had landed. Somehow, it had broken a stick wedged between a small rock and a giant boulder. The boulder teetered for a second and fell forward, downhill. He followed the path where it was rolling, and his heart skipped a beat. There was a purple mare sitting right in it's path, reading a book. She did not seem to notice it yet.
"H-Hey!" Flash yelled. "Get out of the way!"
"-- the ponies relished and played in the day her eldest sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night --" the mare continued to read.
"What are you doing!? MOVE!" he screamed louder but it was no use. The mare seemed to have blocked out the world around her.
What do I do? What do I do? he thought panicky. I can't let her get squashed! Especially when it was my fault... I got it!
Flash flew as fast as he could; with a mighty shout, he slammed his body into the boulder. It was at least five times his weight and three times his size, so all he managed to do was hurt his shoulder. Desperate, he planted his feet, put his hooves out and tried to hold it back. The rock slowed a little and Flash continued to scream at the mare to move.
His strength quickly leaving him, he dug his feet deeper and futilely pushed even harder. He knew it was no use but he refused to give up. Suddenly, the boulder glowed magenta, and floated back up the hill. He turned to see Captain Armor looking at him with a calculating look before he passed out.
Flash awoke with a start, the glow of sunset blinding him momentarily. "About time you woke up, Sentry." He turned to see Captain Armor sitting in the seat, a magazine in his hooves. "I almost thought I would have to head off duty before you would come to."
Flash quickly saluted. "Sir! If I may ask, why are you here? And, where is here?"
"You’re in the barracks infirmary. As for why I’m here? Well, it's only right that I watch over you after you protected my sister from that boulder."
"Y-your sister?"
"The purple mare, of course. Twiley's always had a bad habit of blocking everything out when she's reading. It's just a good thing you were there at the time."
Flash swallowed thickly. "Actually, sir... If I hadn't been there, she wouldn't have been in danger in the first place. I... kind of caused the boulder to roll towards her." Captain Armor looked at him sharply. "It was an accident I swear! I kicked this pebble and, well, things went crazy from there..."
"I see... So you only tried to save her to make up for your mistake?"
"No! I mean, yeah, I felt it was my responsibility but, I don't know, I just couldn't leave her there to get hurt, you know? I was right there, right? So, I had to try to save her! What kind of pony would I be if I didn't do all I could?"
Captain Armor rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Interesting, so your instincts told you to protect the innocent before protecting yourself. Let me ask you something, Sentry; do you know why I told you to give up on being a member of the royal guard?"
"Because I always screw up?"
"Well... the first couple of times, yeah, but I think you were skilled enough to join by your fifth try. No, the reason is deeper than that. Sentry, you've always so indecisive about yourself; I could tell you were never sure if the royal guard was meant for you. I can't let a half hearted pony join such a dangerous job. So, tell me, why did you really want join the guard?"
Flash looked at his front hooves for a moment before he turned back to Captain Armor. "When I was a foal, I really loved my uncle. I would visit him all of the time and I always joined my dad to personally bring him over for Hearth's Warming Eve. My uncle's name? Kurt Marshall."
Captain Armor's eyes widened. "You're First Lieutenant Marshall's nephew? I would never have guessed that. I mean, he was a prodigy! One of the best there ever was, and you... well..."
"I'm a screw up?" Flash grinned self deprecatingly at Captain Armor's embarrassed look. "I know, I'm always messing up; I'm clumsy and have a bad habit of bumping into ponies. But, when Uncle Kurt had to retire after two years... Well, I promised him that I would take his place and make him proud."
"...A promise, huh? Well, that explains a lot; how can you hope to put your all into something if you're only doing it for somepony else?"
Flash grimaced. "I thought of that before, but how can I break my word? When I started up my band, it haunted me all of the time. It's why I finally quit, but... I don't think I can become a royal guard if that's the only reason I want to join." He gulped. "I give up."
"I see... What do you plan to do now?"
"Would it be alright if I tried one more time to join, but for myself this time?"
"Oh, so you want to be a guard after all?"
"When... When I tried to stop that rock, I realized something about myself. I like helping others; that's why I want to join now. Not for a promise, but to help protect my fellow ponies."
Captain Armor started to chuckle. "I had a feeling you would say that. It does explain your cutie mark though."
Flash's eyes widened. "M-My cutie mark!?"
He threw off his sheet and looked at his previous blank flank. There it was, a blue shield with a large, yellow lightning bolt going through it.
"I got my cutie mark. I got my cutie mark!"
"It seems to be a good day for you, Sentry," Captain Armor said. "First you get your cutie mark, and then you join the royal guard. I haven't heard a day like this since the day Twiley got her cutie mark."
Flash blinked. "B-But, I'm not in the... Are you serious, sir? I'm in? I'm really in?"
"Yes, Sentry; unless you don't want to join after all?"
"Yes! I mean no! I-I mean, I want to join! Yes, a thousand times yes!"
Captain Armor stood up. "Good, you start tonight. We'll outfit you with armor tomorrow, but I want all available members working tonight."
"What? But, it's the Summer Sun Celebration! I always watch Princess Celestia raise the sun..."
"Welcome to the workforce, Sentry. Anyway, I got a tip that something bad might happen tonight, so I don't want to take any chances. Twiley's smart, and she seemed very serious about this when I talked to her."
Flash nodded slowly. "I-I see. I'll do my best, sir."
Captain Armor looked hesitant for a moment before he nodded resolutely. "Flash, I need you do something for me."
"Sir?"
"I want you to give me reports on what you've learned about being a proud member of our royal guard. You are...unique...and I want to watch your growth."
"You just want to make sure you didn't make a mistake, don't you?"
Captain Armor shot him an annoyed look. "I'd watch how you talk to your superior officer, private." He laughed softly at Flash's panicked look. "But...something like that. Anyway, anytime you feel you learned something valuable as a guard, just leave a report on my desk, alright?"
"Sir!"
"Good, then I'll be going for now. I expect your first report tonight."
Captain Armor clapped him on the back and walked to the door. "Sir?" Flash asked. "Can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"Why were you out there anyway?"
"To...pretty much have this conversation, honestly. Went better than I thought. That all?" Flash nodded. "Goodbye then."
Captain Armor stepped out and closed the door behind him. Flash just laid there for a second, stunned by what just happened. He had finally done it; he was a member of the royal guard, but it was for himself instead of his uncle. He never expected this. He turned to his side; on the nightstand was a piece of paper and a quill.
"Probably left behind by the captain..." Flash shrugged and picked up the quill with his mouth.
To Captain Armor
Today I learned a valuable lesson; no matter how sincere the promise, you can't let it dictate your life. It's better to explain to the pony why you can't live up to it than to suffer for it. Until you do it for yourself, you will not be happy. As a guard, I have to choose the promises I make carefully or I could get myself and others seriously hurt for it. No, even normally, taking on a promise I don't want or think I can keep can get others hurt. The only promise I can make right now is promising to be more careful with my promises.
Private Sentry