//------------------------------//
// 23: of Plants and Jars 
// Story: One Way 
// by jroddie 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 23

The Doctor walked to the door, and pushed it open with a sooty hoof. He walked in, but he seemed to remember something and turned around.
“Oh, we need to visit Celestia first, so unless you can come up with a clever plan to not get injured again when we visit her, I’m going to shove you in the stasis chamber.” He remarked bluntly, then disappeared through the open blue door. I started to raise a hoof to object, but he was already out of view. I took flight and shot through the open door. The Doctor was already pushing buttons and reading displays on his console. I floated over him, waving my hooves and trying to get his attention. He studiously kept to his console.
“Doctor! I don’t want to go into the stasis chamber!” I said emphatically.
“Too bad. I don’t want you to die of blood loss, gross trauma, asphyxiation, or whatever else is happening to Luna right now. Temporarily removing you from the time stream is the only option I can see as viable.” The Doctor replied bluntly. I gasped in shock.
“The last time I went in there, you didn’t let me out for ten years!” I exclaimed. The Doctor said nothing, but continued to preside over his console, mashing and smashing his hooves onto the different control surfaces.
“Doctor! Please, I can stay inside the tardis, and-” I was interrupted by the Doctor. He turned around, jumping to his hind legs, and grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“I will not have another Numbered die today!” He screamed at me, his eyes wild. He frightened me, and I tried to fly away from his grip. He stayed firmly planted on the ground, and his grip around my neck did not lessen.
“Othello was like you, Edwin. Brash, bold, and willing to do anything for those he loved. He was passionate, like you, and he was powerful, like you. But look at this! Afraid to enter a stasis chamber to save your own life!” He spat at me. He was staring at me with his large brown eyes, filled with anger and grief. I felt the skin under my coat grow clammy as he stared at me with those eyes. The Doctor’s eyes could convey a sense of abandonment, a sense of loneliness that no voice nor expression belonging to a mortal creature could convey. The Doctor stared at me, switching from one of my blue eyes to another, as if he was trying to find something. He did this for a minute or two, when his expression glasses over with sad indifference. His pale brown legs slid over my neck and landed on the ground with a solid clank. He turned away from me to face his console.
“You are going into that stasis chamber, Edwin. I don’t want anypony else to die today.” He commanded in a soft, sad voice. I heard something clear its throat to the right of me. I turned to see Gespard and Marcus staring at me, and Marcus was holding a hoof over his chest.
“Doctor?” Marcus asked, his deep voice seemingly reverberating through my mind.
“What is it, Marcus?” The Doctor replied in a monotone.
“I might be able to solve this quandary. Do you have any dirt?” He asked. The Doctor stopped poking buttons and pulling levers for a moment. He slowly turned to look at Marcus.
“What?” The Doctor asked, extremely confused.
“Dirt? Do you have any?” He asked again. The Doctor paused for a second, and then he nodded.
“Yes, I do, give me a second...” He replied, turning from the console. He walked around the console and walked around to the opposite side from where I was floating. He ducked down beneath the console, and ducked under it. I could see his tail flicking in the air, followed by a loud bump and swearing.
“Do you want any help, Doctor?” Marcus asked. There was a muffled grunt. Marcus blinked, and another loud bump was followed by swearing. A large lidless glass jar surrounded with a bright green aura floated out from under the console, placing itself gently down in front of Marcus. Marcus reached into the jar and scooped out a hoof-full as best as he could. He held it up to his nose and inhaled.
“Ah... Nutty and dry, but with faintly sweet undertones. Western Equestria subsoil, Doctor?” Marcus inquired.
“Very impressive, Marcus.” The Doctor said, reading displays on the opposite side of the round console. Marcus looked to both sides of him, as if he was trying to find something. He twisted around to look behind his shoulder at Gespard.
“Gespard, I need it damp.” Marcus said. Gespard knocked on the metal grate of the tardis floor twice with a loud bang, and the dirt in the jar grew noticeably darker. Marcus turned back to look at the dirt with a stony face. He settled back on his hind legs, and raised his hooves up to touch the glass on either side of the jar. He closed his eyes, with his brow furrowed in concentration. His hooves began to glow with the same green aura as before. I stopped hovering and landed on the ground, amazed. I could smell the magic in the air, the scent of ozone filling my nostrils. I walked up to Marcus, and looked down in the jar. There was a small tendril of green poking out of the dirt. Marcus lowered his hooves from the sides of the jar, and looked up at me.
“I advise that everypony move away from the jar. Slowly.” He said, backing away from the jar. Gespard did the same, and the Doctor paid us no mind.
“What?” I asked, watching the wary ponies back away from the small plant. Gespard shushed me, and Marcus nodded.
“Don’t startle it, Edwin. Back away very, very slowly.” Marcus said in a hushed tone. I scoffed.
“What in Equestria could a tiny little plant do to m-” I tried to ask, but was interrupted by a loud explosion. There was a flash of green, followed by a suffocating pressure. I tried to escape it, sending a charge through my body. The pressure then increased, and seemed to writhe. The closest thing that my mind could find that was comparable was being buried in live snakes. I could still breathe, but the air that I inhaled was moist, hot, and smelled of rotting leaves. I screamed and writhed, but the the limbs only squeezed tighter.
“Don’t struggle, Edwin! It will not hurt you if you do not hurt it!” Shouted Marcus, walking around the jar hurriedly. All I could do is strain against the snakes.
“Sweet Goddesses, Marcus! What is it?!” The Doctor shouted. I could hear Marcus’ muffled walking around me, and him prodding the snakes.
“I don’t know.” He replied calmly.
“You don’t know?!” The Doctor exclaimed.
“Well, It doesn’t have a name. I’m fairly sure that it has not been discovered by mortal ponies yet. But, it is definitely a carnivorous tentacular, most likely of the Canatidae family...” Marcus trailed off, leaving me extremely worried.
“Carnivorous?!” Gespard exclaimed. If Marcus answered, I could not hear him. I pushed an even stronger charge of electricity out of my limbs, feeling it crackle and zap through my bones, making the tentacles constrict around me even tighter. I could feel the breath rush out of me, my ribs bending under the ministrations of the plant. Marcus began to move faster around the plant, his hooves clacking under him.
“Edwin! Do not hurt it! Keep calm!” He shouted. I struggled with the plant for a few more seconds, during which Marcus’ words assembled into sense. I stopped the charge that was flowing through my body, and almost immediately the strong vines of the plant relaxed around me. It flowed away from me, no longer constricting me, but forming somewhat of a small room. I looked around at my surroundings as the vines began to form into a small cube, just tall enough for a pony my size to be comfortable in.
“What is this, Marcus?” I asked as soon as I was able to find my voice.
“One of Equestria’s most useful organisms, in my opinion.” Replied Marcus, his booming voice muffled by the walls that enclosed me.
“What does it do?” I inquired again. Marcus chuckled.
“To tell you that, I must explain to you a small bit of pony biology. Ponies, like humans, breathe and metabolize an eighty-twenty nitrogen-oxygen blend. But, while somewhat lethal to humans, ponies can breathe a gas called ethyl bromoacetate, with somewhat spectacular results.” Marcus stated. The joy in his voice was plain, even through the walls that surrounded me.
“What is so spectacular about it?” I wondered aloud.
“When a pony inhales ethyl bromoacetate, it works absolute miracles for their body. Breathing rate increases and becomes much more efficient, conducing almost complete oxygen metabolism. Dietary metabolism rises, making the calories burned to calories wasted ratio become almost one to zero. Eyesight becomes hawk-like, making you see from five hundred feet what an average pony can see from twenty. Conscious stimuli responses, like catching falling objects and reacting to visual ques, become nearly immediate. But, all of those are not even the best effect of ethyl bromoacetate.” Marcus finished. This little speech made me all the more curious as to what the mysterious substance did that was so great. I drew a long breath, savoring the feel of the air. It tasted alive, like how air tasted next to running water. I pondered his impromptu lecture for a moment.
“I give up, Marcus. Tell me what it does.” I said, sitting down on the vines under me. They had a pleasant give to them, like sitting on a firm cushion. I smiled and bounced slightly, testing the vines with my hooves.
“It heals wounds instantaneously, just as good and sometimes even better than magic would.” He said. I laughed.
“Sounds amazing. Sounds illegal, to be honest. Know where I can get any?” I inquired yet again. Marcus laughed.
“Right where you are.” Marcus said. I chuckled.
“Really?” I asked.
“Really. This organism is like other plants, in the fact that it inhales carbon dioxide. But, while other plants would exhale oxygen, this plant exhales ethyl bromoacetate, which makes it rather useful in situations like this. Doctor, I think that we can go now.” Marcus finished.
“Right you are, Marcus! Just a hop, skip, and a jump and we’ll be right in the throne room. We might even get fed! The Doctor said cheerily. I could hear him walking around the console.
“So, Marcus, when you said that the plant was carnivorous, what exactly-” I was interrupted.
“Too late for that, Edwin, ALLONS-Y!” The Doctor shouted. I heard a loud slam, and could hear the tardis making its’ wonderful noises. Halfway through, I felt one of the oddest sensations that I could have possibly experienced. A long gash opened up my shoulder, exposing flesh, sinew, and bone to the open air. I gasped with the suddenness of the injury, and could feel warm blood spurt out of it. I shuddered. Before I could do anything, I felt the two sides of the gaping wound close, and the underlying musculature knit back together. I reached a hoof up to touch my shoulder, noticing that it was the very same one that I thought that Sebastian had injured. While I was massaging the newly healed shoulder, a long, thin line of blood inched it’s way up my foreleg. I was surprised by the injury, but I had no time to think of it before it closed of its own volition. I removed the leg in question from my shoulder and examined it. The snowy leg articulated under my will, making the muscle flex and bulge under the skin. For an odd moment, I remembered what it was like to have hands. I could still remember how they moved, but I no longer had the ability to move them. I smiled lightly, remembering with fondness the body that I would never again inhabit. I could see every single individual hair on my leg, each one doing its part to cover alabaster skin. I set myself down on the vines of the plant, feeling them sway with motion. I rolled over to my side and splayed my hooves, soaking in the wonderful feeling that the plant was giving me. My eyelids slowly drooped, and I fought to keep them open.
“Edwin?” Said a slightly reedy voice. With my tired mind, it took me a little bit to place it with a name.
“Gespard?” I asked sleepily. I heard something moving in front of me. I opened my eyes to see a blue head poking into my little plant house.
“Marcus says that you have been in the plant long enough to inhale a significant dosage for it to be safe for you to exit the plant. We are in the throne room right now, and if you would like, Marcus says that you are able to join the rest of us outside of the tardis. He does warn that it will be a... Confusing experience.” He said, looking at me with alert cobalt eyes. I was shocked to the extent of what I noticed about him under the influence of the strange chemical. He seemed so full of detail that it was almost surreal. His mouth and facial muscles slipped and flexed around each syllable. I gulped.
“Okay.” I mumbled, clumsily trying to stand. I stood still for a moment, trying to discern whether or not I could walk for any sort of distance. I placed a hoof in front of me, put pressure on it, and stepped forward. I kept doing this until I reached the opening in the plant that Gespard was sticking his head out of. He was no longer there, and also nowhere else, but I could feel the strength returning to my limbs. I poked my head out of the tardis and inhaled the seemingly stale air of the tardis. It had a certain energy of its own, but it was nothing like being inside of the plant. I jumped from the plant, which was towering three or four feet above the tardis. I gasped, standing perfectly still as I looked around me. It was the interior of the tardis that I saw, but it was the way that I saw it that made me exclaim. I could see every scratch, every swirling mote of dust, every button, every blinking light, every wrench, every single thing in the tardis. My mind was working so incredibly fast to organize the plethora of information that was flowing into my eyes. I stood in front of the plant, simply blinking in awe. I took a few cautious steps forward, as if the illusion of detail would disappear with the slightest movement,
“Edwin?” Said a tired voice behind me. I turned to see Evangeline. She was brushing up against the side of the plant. I said nothing, but stared at her in awe. I’ve heard humans talk about a ‘morning glow’, but for Evangeline, it was a literal concept. She shined lightly, casting a faint golden glow against the plant she was leaning on. It reached out slowly with its limbs to touch her, rubbing itself against her in the hopes of absorbing her light.
“It likes you.” I said simply. She raised her neck to nuzzle the plant, her eyes closed with a smile on her face. Small vines unfolded from the main cube to caress her face. She giggled lightly.
“Marcus’s summonings always do. I personally think that he is somewhat infatuated with me, and that his plants are an extension of his personality. Or, it could just be that I have an overinflated ego and the plants are rather undernourished. Either way, they always make me feel happy.” She said. My supercharged body was busy cataloging every single detail about her, from the number of tiny hairs in her face to all the different shades of gold in her eyes. She smiled, noticing me staring at her.
“I remember my first time on ethyl. So much detail... It’s rather discombobulating, isn’t it?” She asked. I nodded. She walked up to me, straying to my right. She bounded over to the grate that led down to the open door, articulating her limbs gracefully. She landed lithely, making a soft clank on the grate that seemed disproportionate to her size. Her long tail swayed as she walked over to the open door and the throne room beyond. I noticed that she was just a little bit shorter than Princess Celestia.

“I never could get used to it, but sometimes it is a necessity. If you want to, you can come on out to see the Princess. She would be happy to see you.” She said, her flaxen tail swishing as she disappeared from view. I gulped, trying to come to terms with the encounter. I understood every detail intimately, from the swirling air around Evangeline to the slowly writhing vines of the plant behind her. The plant looked much like a light bulb, with the swirling mass of the plant held up by a thin bundle of vines that reached down into the large glass jar of dirt. I turned from it to look out of the tardis door. The golden and purple carpet that distinguished the outside of the tardis to be that of the Palace beckoned me to step on its luxuriously soft self. I walked down the ramp to the opening of the tardis, but stopped halfway down. I could see a dark brown blemish on the usually immaculate carpet, and my nose picked the faint scent of burnt hair out of the air. I slowly walked forward, and saw a blackened hoof poke into view. It was the underside of a hoof, and it was burnt lightly. I gasped in shock, and ran out of the tardis. What I saw was the stuff of nightmares. I stood looking at my surroundings, simply in shock.
It was terrible, even if it was necessary. Princess Celestia sat on her throne, levitating an apple in a cloud of bright yellow magic. Marcus, Gespard, Evangeline, and the Doctor stood around her, in the various stages of eating apples. None of them seemed to notice me. But this was not the shocking thing.
The bodies of about twenty ponies were littered around them. Their black coats and ashen manes distinguished them as Angelics. They were all clearly very dead. Each and every single one of them seemed to be in different stages of being cooked, from slightly crisped to resembling large charcoal briquettes. There was even a smoking skeleton in the corner. The only Angelic that was not burnt was split cleanly down the middle, like a gory cross section, with each half on opposite sides of the room. I stood there, simply taking in the sheer violence around me. Princess Celestia was levitating a small wedge of apple in front of her mouth when she noticed me.
“Ah, Edwin! Come sit and have an apple.” She said cheerfully. I gulped, not even trying to see the overwhelming detail of the baroque room.
“You do know...” I started, but was unable to finish. The corpses littered about me like forgotten toys made me stop talking, their dead crimson eyes taking in scenery that they could not see. Celestia nodded.
“I do. I will explain in a moment, but come have an apple for now.” She said.