An annoying buzzing shattered the tranquil silence. It was the all too familiar sound of my alarm clock that was going off on a Saturday morning for reasons unfathomable. I couldn’t remember setting the glorified noise maker to go off at five thirty in the morning, which seemed like a ridiculous time to get up in the first place.
“I’m going to kill her if she’s behind this…” I groaned swinging my arm at the alarm in a futile attempt to turn it off.
“No need to kill anyone, or anypony, in your case.” a voice chuckled.
I jumped as the presence of another individual in my room became apparent. It didn’t take long to find the voice’s owner, given the limited hiding places in my room to begin with. Though for the being in question, hiding wasn’t exactly his style.
“Discord, what the hell are you doing in my room?” I hissed, glaring at him through tired eyes.
“I’ve simply come to ensure you got up on time…among other things.” Discord replied, shutting off my alarm clock with a snap of his fingers. The device morphed into a balloon animal that proceeded to pop.
“At five thirty in the morning? Are you out of your min-no, don’t answer that.” I said rubbing my forehead, only to pull my hand-no, hoof-away in shock.
“That would be reason number two.” Discord said grinning.
Discord was my friend, though I wouldn’t call us blood brothers or anything like that, he was okay to hang out with. That being said, he was still the embodiment of chaos, and chaos is unpredictable. Having been warped by his magic twice, going on three times now, our friendship could best be described as a rollercoaster ride; full of loops and turns, but still together and solid.
Though breaking into my house in the odd hours of the morning, and turning me into a pegasus was pushing boundaries. Needless to say the invasion of my privacy, what at the most primitive level was my turf, had been violated in my sleep. This put me in a mood that was less than friendly.
“Reason number two is about to kick your balls into next Thursday!” I exclaimed, jumping out from under the covers, preparing to kick him.
“What’s going on in here?” Isabella asked with a yawn, opening the door to my room.
My sister was now standing in the doorway to my room, her gaze bouncing between the lord of chaos, and a smaller, furrier, version of me. After living in Equestria for a while, this sort of thing would have come across as pretty standard to me by now. My sister on the other hand, or hoof, hadn’t been in Equestria nearly as long as I had.
“What?” was all she could muster from her rather impressive vocabulary.
“We’re roleplaying.” Discord replied with a grin.
“Shut up! No we’re not, Izzy I can explain!” I exclaimed.
Isabella slowly closed the door to my room. My ears flicked forward as I heard her footsteps travel towards the living room.
“Good going, hey next time why don’t you turn the entire house into a giant cake?” I asked jumping off the bed, my hooves clacking noisily against the wood floor as I landed.
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Discord said rolling his eyes “I’m sure she would have found out eventually. After all, the residual magic builds up and you’d have to spend a little time as…oh…what did you call yourself…Rock Shooter?”
“Comet Guard.” I sighed.
“That was it!” Discord exclaimed with a snap of his fingers, causing the room around us to warp and shift until it resembled the living room. I was going to have a lot of explaining to do.
---
Discord had let himself in to wake me up. While I appreciated the consideration, I didn’t enjoy the experience of falling asleep as a human, only to wake up as a pony. I wasn’t convinced he had agreed to help out of the goodness of his heart, I felt it was more along the lines of finding an excuse to use his powers.
I now sat at the dining room table, covered in blue fur. A green mane and tail, with lime green streaks in it. A cutie mark that resembled the chaos god Tzeenth had branded itself on my flanks. The first time I had been warped by chaos the cutie mark made little sense. Reflecting on it now, Tzeench was the changer of ways; perhaps it meant I was really adaptable?
“So, you can turn into a pony?” Isabella asked, having calmed down significantly from earlier this morning.
“Yes, well, with Discord’s help I can. Normally he gives me some sort of warning though.” I replied, taking a bite out of an apple.
“How can you hold that?” Isabell asked.
“You’ve got to throw most of what you know about physics out the window in this world.” I replied, taking another large bite out of the fruit.
“So does it…feel weird?” Isabella asked.
“You’re more than welcome to find out.” Discord said, wiggling the digits of his bird like hand, gum drops and other candies falling from his fingertips as he did so.
“Um maybe later, besides didn’t you say you two had something to do?” Isabella asked.
“Yeah, training with Rainbow Dash. Today is going to either be really awesome, or suck horribly.” I replied, jumping out of my seat, and giving my wings a few experimental flaps.
I would never admit it to Discord, but it was pretty awesome to have a set of wings. I considered it a positive side effect from his antics. I could move faster, and didn’t have to worry about standing out in a crowd. The pros outweighed the cons, but I still preferred walking on two legs as opposed to four. I missed having arms and hands too.
While I had the outward appearance of a pegasus, I still had the mind of a human, which made things a bit awkward. Humans were born to walk on two legs; this caused me to face plant into the ground the first time I tried walking.
As I approached the door, Discord’s face appeared on the door handle, smiling at me mischievously. To any normal person, or pony, there was such a thing as going too far. Discord was proving so far that he didn’t have a limit.
“I will kick that door down.” I warned.
“Still assuming the worst I see, and here I thought we were starting to build bridges.” Discord said, the door opening revealing the lord of chaos standing on the other side, his arms crossed in a pouting gesture.
A cold breeze rushed past me, sending chills down my spine. The wind triggering the ingrained need for speed, and the freezing morning temperatures, it did little to encourage me to proceed further. Rainbow Dash had to be out of her mind to want to train this early in the morning, but a promise is a promise.
“I thought the entire point of being chaos was to be unpredictable.” I said as the door closed behind us.
“I don’t see how I failed that expectation, since you instantly assumed I was going to try and lock you inside your own house. Honestly, how unimaginative do you think I am?” Discord asked with a snap of his fingers.
“I wasn’t questioning your imagination. I was simply trying to predict an outcome based on previous experiences.” I replied as the park materialized around us.
“Prediction is something you can’t really achieve with chaos. If I wanted whatever spell Twilight was casting at this moment to produce some sort of weird fuzzy thing that spoke in tongues, and I make it happen,” Discord said snapping his fingers. “Then that’s an example of pure chaos, we both know how studious Miss Sparkle can be. Imagine the look on her face, anticipating on achieving one result, but getting another.”
“That’s kind of a watered down example isn’t it?” I asked.
“Your mind isn’t ready to understand the true, unadulterated influence that chaos has over the universe. You can’t have progress without chaos.” Discord replied.
“Progress isn’t always a good thing though.” I said, my thoughts drifting to Earth and how “progress” had often done more harm than good.
“I never said progress defined itself as good or evil.” Discord said.
---
Twilight Sparkle had barely had the time to focus on magic with her new duties that had carried her away from home. While Saddle Arabia had its charms, she missed her friends back in Ponyvile. She counted herself lucky that she only had to stay one more night.
Twilight magically flipped through the pages of an old book she had brought with her from her castle. She found the spell she was looking for, a simple projection spell, and started to focus her energy through her horn.
The alicorn couldn’t help but feel, wrong somehow, as she tried to cast the spell. Pushing the thought from her mind, she focused on channeling her energy again, only for the feeling to return once more.
What’s wrong with me today? This should be simple and easy, albeit exhausting and difficult to maintain for an extended period of time. All I want to do is check on everypony. Twilight thought to herself.
She settled on one more try before she had to return to her duties. This time her focus remained unbroken. The spell was supposed to allow her to create an aetherial projection of herself; it was seldom used in Equestria now, thanks to letters and the postal system nullifying the need for such an exhausting spell.
Twilight screamed when she opened her eyes. Before her was a small, pink, fuzzy creature.
“W-where did you come from?” Twilight asked.
“Siht eno semoc morf neewteb eht senoz fo ecaps! Leenk revo rellewd, ot eht tsom emerpus gnieb ni lla eht dnal!” the small creature replied.
---
I shivered as I scanned the park for any sign of Rainbow Dash. Much to my dismay, there wasn’t a single prism colored trace of her to be found. In fact, it was starting to look like she had forgotten about meeting here in the first place.
“So, did she ever specify an actual time for you to wake me up?” I asked looking up at Discord.
“Her rather vague instructions were to be here “really early” in the morning.” Discord replied with air quotes.
Before I could ask another question, the loud screech of a whistle made me jump into the air. Normally a human would come back down to the ground after being startled, a pegasus however, does not. I found myself in the branches of a rather tall oak tree, my mind having temporarily shifted into flight mode, quite literally.
The sound of laughter from beneath the tree snapped me out of my panicked mental state. Looking down I saw Rainbow Dash and Discord, laughing hysterically at my reaction to her whistle. I had a feeling that they were both in on the little trick.
“Okay, you got me.” I said, swooping down to them.
“You should have seen your face! I didn’t know you could fly that fast!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed in between fits of laughter.
“I take it back Rainbow Dash, this was worth waking up at the crack of dawn for.” Discord said.
I rolled my eyes, while Rainbow Dash’s pranks were mostly harmless, it was the gloating that was the worst part of it. I would have to listen for a week straight how she got the better of me. Even if I did manage to prank her back, she would just get competitive and prank me again.
“Here, put this on.” Rainbow Dash said, tossing me a vest.
Trying to put a vest on as a pony was about as thrilling as a cat or dog being forced to put on a shirt or costume. Getting my wings through the holes was the hardest part, but once it was on I was surprised at how warm it was. It was still freezing outside, but it wasn’t unbearable now.
“Well, you two have fun, I have more interesting things to tinker about with. “ Discord said, collapsing in on himself until he disappeared.
“Ok, let’s see what you can do.” Rainbow Dash said, her wings lifting her off the ground and carrying her up to the clouds faster than my eyes could track.
I flew after her, my human based fear of heights clouded by the thrill of feeling the wind beneath my wings. I had to clamp down on the desire to go faster. The less noticeable disadvantage to being warped by Discord was fighting back all of the alien instincts that kept trying to force their way into my mind. Some were beneficial; others seemed useless and strange at the moment.
I closed my eyes once I reached the same altitude as Rainbow Dash and took in a few deep breaths. Slowly my mind became clearer, the urge to give into my form’s whims fading away. It was as if I was fighting for control against another person, or pony in my case.
“You okay?” Rainbow Dash asked, poking me in the forehead to gain my attention.
“Yeah, just uh…getting all the negative energy out of my system.” I replied with a nervous grin.
“Whatever helps I guess,” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I just hope you still have enough energy to keep up, now pay attention.”
Rainbow Dash flew over to a nearby cloud, looking it over before spinning around in one fluid motion and kicking it with her hind legs. The cloud dispersed upon impact with an audible “poof”.
“Okay, now just like that on…this one.” Rainbow Dash said flying over to another cloud.
I followed her and tried to see what she saw in the clouds. I had a very basic grasp of clouds. Given the fact that the clouds in this world didn’t follow the same rules as those of Earth’s, I felt clueless as to what the cyan pegasus had seen in these two clouds apart from all the others.
I pushed the thought from my mind and tried to spin around like Rainbow Dash had, only to lose control from the sudden, unfamiliar motion. With the grace of a bull in a china shop, I managed to land on a rather dark cloud. The second all four hooves touched it, a loud “bang” broke the early morning silence.
“Heh, think that got everypony up?” Rainbow Dash said biting her bottom lip to hold back her laughter.
If I hadn't been standing on a cloud that had access electricity in it, I would have stomped my hoof down in frustration. A bit agitated. I approached the cloud Rainbow Dash had pointed out to me once more and tried to spin around again, going over the steps in my head.
Hind legs up, back straight, and spin! I thought to myself, missing wildly once more, and landing on the cloud instead of kicking it.
"The idea is to hit the cloud, not wrestle it." Rainbow Dash said, appearing upside down while I was on my back.
"I'm trying to copy you, but my body doesn’t want to cooperate." I said, not bothering to roll upright.
"Don't worry about copying me, I do this for a living. I'm not expecting you to clear the skies single hoofed so keep trying." Rainbow Dash said.
I flew off the cloud that had bested me twice now. I was frustrated and embarrassed at this point, most pegasi could do this naturally without any problems. Then again, I wasn't exactly like most pegasi.
On my third attempt, I slowly turned until I was facing Rainbow Dash, who gave me a nod of approval. Turning my head to see behind me I straightened my back, folding my hind legs beneath me, poised to strike at the cloud behind me.
"Hold up, I see what you're doing wrong," Rainbow Dash said, breaking my concentration. "You have to use your forelegs too, that' why you keep missing."
Taking the cyan pegasus' advice, my forelegs were soon tucked beneath me. I felt a bit ridiculous in this position; it was awkward, and annoying to fly like this.
"Okay, so, as you kick with your hind legs sling your forelegs forward. Earth ponies don't have to worry about stuff like this because they have traction. Up here, it's all us. Now let’s see what you've got." Rainbow Dash instructed.
"How come you only use one instead of both sometimes?" I asked.
"Pssh, there's lots of ways you can bust a cloud up. The trick is doing it right, basics come first though. This is the most common method, it's something I know how to do, but I prefer cooler methods." Rainbow Dash replied.
"This is surprisingly well thought out for you." I commented.
"Keep it up wise guy and I'll send you home with more than ruffled feathers." Rainbow Dash warned, raising an eyebrow at me.
"You got it sensei, wax on, wax off..." I said rolling my eyes.
Before she could question the reference, I kicked at the cloud behind me. This time however, my forelegs stretched out in unison with my hind legs. I smiled when I heard a satisfying "poof" sound, proof that I had hit my target without incident.
"See? Makes all the difference in the world." Rainbow Dash said.
"Yeah, it does actually...are there more?" I asked, a smile working its way across my face.
"Plenty, let's hope you keep that attitude for the rest of the day." Rainbow Dash replied.
---
The day passed relatively quickly, after lunch rolled around as I spent the rest of my time up in the clouds. What started as a simple day of training eventually turned into a contest, which Rainbow Dash won decisively. I was still a newbie, and getting a feel of what my limits were, so I didn’t anticipate a favorable outcome.
“You did pretty good for your first day. If you ever get bored of being a human you might make it in this line of work.” Rainbow Dash said, as we caught our breath on a cloud that was at a slightly higher attitude.
She claimed that flying a bit higher would give us some relief from the cold. I doubted her at first, arguing that the higher we were the colder it would be. Much to my surprise she was right, it was warmer the higher we were. Oh Equestria, you and your backwards ass physics.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m still fond of the original me. That’s not to say I don’t miss these when I’m back to two legs.” I said, unfurling my wings to stretch them out after a long day of flying.
“I get’cha , I had to go without wings once. It was the worst day ever, I mean, they’re what make me me!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, throwing her hooves above her head in exaggeration to her statement.
“Yeah, I don’t know if I like the idea of a wingless Rainbow Dash.” I said.
Silence eventually reclaimed the relatively peaceful atmosphere. It wasn’t a bad thing either; the silence was oddly soothing, with only the occasional stray breeze disrupting the tranquility. While I found the setting enjoyable, Rainbow Dash seemed to be constantly shifting, ever the bundle of energy.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of thirsty.” Rainbow Dash said looking down over the edge of the cloud.
“Do we have to leave?” I whined flopping down on the cloud, hugging the fluffy perch possessively with my forelegs.
“Stay if you want, but once Discord’s magic wears off I doubt you’ll be complaining about being on the ground again.” Rainbow Dash replied, jumping off the cloud and into the air.
Begrudgingly, I followed her back down to Ponyville, the cold air growing more prominent as we descended to the ground. My fur served to lock in some of the heat I had been graced with moments ago. As I got closer, I could see ponies trying to finish up their daily routines.
I landed next to Rainbow Dash, who motioned for me to follow her with a brief motion of her head. I matched my pace to hers as she led me through the town. I couldn’t help but notice two mares giggling like school girls from Earth as we walked by, turning away when I focused on them. Cloudchaser and Lily, if I remembered their names correctly.
“Rainbow, not to be that guy, but why do mares keep acting a bit…off around me?” I asked.
“Oh, because you’re not marked yet.” Rainbow replied, causing red flags to go off in my mind.
“Marked…care to explain?” I asked quietly.
“It’s nothing bad, to them you’re just another pony, who happens to be a pretty good looking stallion.” Rainbow replied.
Not you too… I thought to myself.
“Anyways, all being marked means is having a mare’s scent on you. It rubs off from spending time with them and stuff. There’s not a whole lot to it, they just know your single is all.” Rainbow Dash explained.
“I guess that makes sense.” I said, making a mental note to ask Twilight more about this subject, however awkward it might be.
"So, what do you drink most of the time?" Rainbow Dash asked, leading me into what I could only describe as a bar.
"Sweet Tea mostly, I despise coffee with a passion, so I have to get caffeine somehow." I replied, waving at Big Mac once I noticed him. He gave a small nod in return.
"That's kind of lame Da-I mean, Comet." Rainbow Dash said, correcting herself. Thankfully the noise from other conversations and music in the background covered the near blunder with my name.
I wasn't too surprised Ponyville had a bar. Honestly, the similarities between Earth and Equestria were staggering at times, so this shocked me less than it probably should have. Even the interior of the building was familiar to what I had seen when I had been asked to pick up one of my friends. Though the establishment was surprisingly clean all things considered.
"What'll it be?" asked a plum colored earth pony, once Rainbow and I had found a seat at the bar.
"Hard Cider if you've got it." Rainbow Dash replied.
"How about you, cutie?" the mare asked.
"I uh...water, I guess?" I replied, blushing a bit.
"Come oooon! You've got to branch out a bit, explore new horizons, all that stuff Twilight goes on about." Rainbow Dash said.
"Dash, I don't know what to ask for, I've never drank before." I confessed.
"Wait what?" both mares asked in unison, looking at me in disbelief.
"I've never drank before...as in alcohol and-" I started to explain.
"YOU'VE NEVER DRANK BEFORE?!" Rainbow Dash asked, her voice rising above the noise in the building.
The sound of several ponies’ drinks leaving their mouths in a comical spew of surprise filled the air, one of which Big Mac was on the receiving end of. The music came to a sudden stop as did every conversation in the building as all eyes turned towards me.
"The hay did he just say?" Applejack asked, leaning out from behind a booth seat, her presence no longer concealed.
"Applejack, what are you doing here?" I asked, shocked to find her here.
"Don't go changin' the subject none, what's this talk you ain't had a drink before? That just ain’t right sugar cube." the farm pony said, several others nodding in agreement with her.
"Is it really that big of a deal?" I asked, my ears involuntarily folding flat against my skull.
"Of course it's a big deal; it's like a tradition here in Ponyville! Were you sheltered as a foal or something?" the plum earth pony asked in return.
"Funny you should say that." I replied nervously.
"Berry, set this stallion up with the strong stuff! It's time to break him in!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, fire in her eyes.
"You're serious about this?" I asked as a glass of what I assumed was "the strong stuff" was poured for me.
"Serious as a heart attack, now get to it!" Rainbow Dash replied.
“How is this a tradition exactly?” I asked staring at the clear liquid.
“All new ponies come here to be social. This is just a part of it, and if this is your first drink ever then that makes it even more important.” Rainbow Dash replied.
“C’mon already, down the hatch!” Applejack shouted, others joining her to try and encourage me.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this…confound these ponies.” I mumbled before taking the drink, a few cheers coming from the other occupants as I swallowed it.
The clear liquid didn’t burn like my sister had described it once; when I had been dumb enough to ask. She tried to get me to experiment with it multiple times after that, I never saw the point. I suppose my parents learned their lesson with Isabella’s wild tendencies and tried to prevent me from following in her footsteps with scare tactics, which worked a little too well.
There was a tingling sensation, but the feeling wasn’t what held my attention for long. The taste was almost unbearably sweet, with such an overwhelming after taste that could probably induce a seizure if a lesser creature consumed it from the sensory overload.
“Oh God! What was that?!” I asked, setting the glass down as a warm feeling spread through me, causing an involuntary smile to work its way across my face.
“I think somepony likes it.” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk.
“Sun Kissed Surprise, good huh?” Berry asked with a laugh.
“It’s definitely a surprise.” I replied as the noise in the bar slowly picked back up.
“More?” Berry offered.
“Um…I don’t know if I should.” I said.
“He means yes.” Rainbow Dash answered for me.
---
Isabella looked up at the clock in the living room in time to see the hour hand shift to eight. Her brother had been gone all day after that strange creature had appeared, Discord or something like that.
Only seconds later a knock came from the door. Isabella wasted no time in seeing who it was, stunned to find not just her brother, but three other ponies as well. One was a tall red stallion, the other two mares she remembered from her first night in Equestria, Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Draped over the red stallion's back was the pegasus that had left the house this morning, snoring peacefully. Daniel's current state of being raised numerous questions once the scent of alcohol hit Isabella's nose. Even more odd was the strange language that seemed to be written on his foreleg which read Thanks for an amazing time! C with a little heart beside it. What had her little brother been up to?
"Have you guys been out drinking?" Isabella asked, never imagining she would be the one to ask that question.
"A bit, we can't stay long though; the crash comes after the fun." Rainbow Dash said with a dopey expression on her face, while the red stallion slid Daniel off his back and onto the couch.
"You actually got him to drink until he passed out? How?!" Isabella asked.
"He's fine, he'll be up in the mornin', maybe a bit thirsty. A shame those minotaurs can't pull that off, always whinin’ bout headaches." Applejack replied.
"Wait...ponies don't get hangovers?" Isabella asked, reconsidering Discord’s offer if that was the case. Daniel shouldn't get to have all the fun to himself.
"Yeah, that's what they called it. Ah ain't never had a head pain like the one they was describin'. Twi explained it to me one time, didn't make much sense though." Applejack replied.
"How many drinks did he have?" Isabella asked.
"About five...I think, I stopped watching him after five. Don't worry, Berry wouldn't let him kill himself. Sun Kissed Surprise is meant to put you out like a light bulb. Like AJ said, he's just real relaxed right now, I drank like that one time and slept for a whole day." Rainbow Dash said proudly.
"Do you know what alcohol poisoning is?" Isabella asked, poking her brother's sleeping form.
"Sugar cube, trust us, he'll be fine in the mornin'. Just let him sleep it off and he'll be right as rain." Applejack said with a yawn.
"Yeah, we've already over stayed, catch you later Izzy." Rainbow Dash said, doing her best to mask her own yawn.
Isabella was alone once more, her brother still sleeping soundly. She watched the barrel of his chest slowly rise and fall, still finding it hard to believe that this was indeed her little brother, that had been quite human before this morning. Perhaps that chaos thing would be back to change him again, or so she hoped.
"You're pitiful," Isabella said quietly, retrieving a blanket and throwing it over the sleeping pony. "See you in the morning, little bro."