//------------------------------// // Interval 1.1: Thick as Thieves // Story: My Little Pony: Versus Equestria // by PseudoFiction //------------------------------// Once upon a time… There was a land of perfection. Imagine, if you will, this land of perfect harmony. There is no war. There is no strife. There is no disease, murder or crime. There is only the harmony of friendship, magic, happy rainbows and pretty princesses. There is only adventure and new discoveries to be had behind ever tree, under every rock and over every mountain. Imagine the castles of crystal, the clean city streets where everyone prospers. There is no racism, there is no bigotry, there is no discrimination of any kind. Just the warm welcoming arms of this land inviting you in. This land of perfect harmony, known as Equestria. And now imagine the human race wants a piece of that... I guess it’s like that rule of the internet says. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it… ;D PseudoFiction presents… A non-canon My Little Pony: FiM, HiE-fanfiction My Little Pony: Versus Equestria [The Road to Canterlot] Interval 1.1: Thick as Thieves The world seemed to sway and bob through the pitch blackness that surrounded everything. The summer sun – unseen somewhere above all that ink – was hot, and burned the skin on his neck while his head simply lolled lazily from side to side with the sway of the carriage. The groan of metal and wood over stone as the wheels rumbled onward through murky unconsciousness was enough to tell him he wasn’t dead. Or perhaps he was dead, and this was either a pointlessly pleasing purgatory, or a really weird form of torture. Actually, no. Months prior to the events I am describing our protagonist had decided that he wasn’t dead. His situation had too much of a point to be purgatory, too pleasant to feel like an afterlife. Birds chirped high from the treetops where the wind whistled through the branches. The crickets chirped and sang their songs from the roadside. The horse-flies buzzed noisily around his head. This wasn’t the highway to hell. He had always imagined there would be more rock and roll music anyway. His caribou of thought was de-railed by one of the horse-flies landing on his neck. It tickled at first, trampling around on the skin to find a suitable place, then sank its fangs deep into his flesh, a stinging jolt drawing a yelp from the boy’s lips. Instant sobriety without the need for coffee and hash-browns was attained. A hand swatted for the fly, but the bastard was long gone, leaving a dull, itchy throbbing on his neck. He found himself where he had fallen asleep, sitting against the back ledge of the bow-top wagon. Sitting on the rear-most ramp of the wooden carriage, his legs dangling over the edge of the flat bed and his knapsack laying in a heap beside him. The first thing he did was lift his hat a little as he blinked away as much of the afternoon-nap-grogginess he could manage. There was a foul, thick taste in his mouth, and the sudden light in his eyes had something of a blueish sha-… wait, why am I describing this to you? You ought to know what it’s like waking from a mid-afternoon-nap. The cart rocked through a pothole – waking him properly as he took in the open fields and rolling hills slowly sauntering past on either side of the narrow dirt-track. It was something out of a fairy-tale, or a children’s cartoon. The technicolour grass, the clear blue sky with a few perfect white cumulus clouds hanging completely stationary. The fields dappled with various flowers, and the smiling insects humming to themselves as they hovered among the flora. Every so often a thick trunked tree with a rounded bushy top would slide by, standing healthy and impossibly steadfast. There was a perfectly semi-circular rainbow on the horizon, one end disappearing behind a tall range of mountains. From one such mountain hung a distinct structure. Although, to simply call it a structure was unbefitting. It was a collection of walkways, winding rivers and waterfalls cutting between bridges and structures. It was a maze of spires, at the very centre a grand palace that stretched up high over all the lush and peaceful land that surrounded it. Canterlot, the very centre-point of Equestria hung from that mountain in the distance. The capitol of Equestria. That was his target. So while our protagonist stretches to regain feeling in his toes, let me introduce you to his gear. Oh, you don’t want to know about him, our main-man is fucking awesome, ain’t much more to tell. Let’s start from the ground up. His white and blue trainers in all their scuffed and ragged glory were laced up tight to his feet. The frayed hole in the left knee of his black cargo trousers was mended over by some lighter grey patches, haphazardly taped and stitched into position, said patchwork having a bit of a raunchy story to it… mmmmaybe a story for another day though. Since Equestria had been bathed in permanent summer since his arrival, he had stuffed his coat into his rucksack and was left wearing a khaki shirt with long white sleeves. Finally, perched comfortably on his head was an olive green bush-hat, something he’d bought after arriving in Equestria to keep the sun and rain off his head. His backpack was a simple canvas sack with a flap folded over the main compartment. It was stuffed with pretty much everything he needed to survive for extended transit between towns and cities. On the smallest outer pocket there was a trusted climbing axe, the jagged pick tucked into the pouch and the elegantly curved shaft sticking out to one side, the wrist-tether hanging loosely at the end of the rubberized hilt. Best purchase since he’d arrived in Equestria. Sliding forward, the human teenager dropped from the back of the cart, landing with a thud. Quickly turning and stumbling to catch up with his own momentum, he snatched up the backpack, shouldering both straps as he jogged around the right flank. His boots thudded into the grass verge as he caught up with his travelling companion who was tethered to the carriage and single handedly, without breaking a sweat pulling it along. She drew it forth without missing a beat, up and over hills, through mud and even over deep trenches cut across the road for drainage. Like the wagon weighed nothing. “Trixie.” The boy greeted. The pony lifted her gaze and grinned. “Rabbit.” Okay, don’t laugh, but ‘Rabbit’ as not his real name. It was a fitting nickname that goes back to his arrival to Equestria. I’ll get to it later, I promise. Back to his travelling companion… Trixie wasn’t exactly what you could call… a woman, so to speak. Trixie was a member of the ‘dominant’ species in Equestria. She was a pony. A unicorn, to be precise, one of three sub-species of pastel coloured, intelligent four-legged beings. The other types of ponies included pegasi, winged ponies, and the hardy earth-ponies, equines with nothing peculiar about them… apart from the obvious fact they were cute and cartoony critters with pastel hair colour could talk and could express all the rational thought previously thought only humans could utilise… pfhew… lemme catch my breath. Unicorns in particular had alicorns able to draw upon the mysterious power known universally as ‘magic.’ And this magic wasn’t the two-bit David Blaine trap-door, Chris Angel Mindfreak smoke and mirrors horse-shit (Sorry, pun not intended). This magic was the real deal. I’m talking ‘poof-motherfucker now you’re a chicken’ magic. The average pony stood quite tall, their nose reaching up to an average lanky teenager’s chest. Yes, you guessed it, said average lanky teenager was Rabbit. Ten points to you. The only exceptions had been either uncharacteristically tall ponies, or really buff ones. Trixie was only taller than Rabbit if you counted her massive pointed wizard’s hat, a deep purple item with multi-coloured stars printed over the rigid fabric. ‘The Great and Powerful’ Trixie was a master illusionist. Most unicorns would use their magic to conjure items of comfort, or help them perform day to day tasks. Not Trixie. This light azure pony with a pale cornflower blue mane used her magic to create shows of glittering images and flashing lights. It wasn’t ‘real’ magic, but it was the style of magic Rabbit was most familiar with. Trixie could have done anything with her life really. Attractive for a pony – hey, don’t look at me like that – she had a slender, almost lanky frame, and kept her mane in tip-top condition all the time. Her high-collared cape was wrapped around her shoulders, the cloak itself draped over her back and flanks, with the clasp hidden underneath a massive oval shaped diamond – fake, apparently.  Trixie was a show-pony through and through. She knew how to entertain crowds, keep fillies dazzled with a show of pretty lights, and entice colts with the right flash of her skinny little flank. And for reference, flank translates directly into ‘ass’ for you human readers out there. It took Rabbit days to figure that one out… in fact, you may laugh now, but it took him even longer to figure out what made Trixie so enticing to young stallions. Apparently she was shaped just the right way that screamed ‘Sex’ in every male pony’s face. Not only a pleasure to look at, Trixie was pretty clever too. She invented new tricks and illusions all the time, and always had something new to bring to the entertainment business. She had a bit of a dual personality going on though. On the one hand she had her stage-personality, brash, confident and theatrical, a pony after Rabbit’s own heart. And then there was her off-stage-personality. Plain, kind and yearning for company. “Sleep alright?” Trixie asked in her ‘indoor’ voice. The human chuckled, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. “Trix, is that concern in your tone?” The pony smiled and shrugged. “I brought you into this world, you’re my responsibility. Besides, I have a strong sense of responsibility over my number one assistant.” She added in a blasé tone. Rabbit scoffed. “Assistant? Hey, I’m the brains of this outfit.” “Hah!” Trixie gave a theatrical laugh, pausing in her step to touch up her mane’s ‘magnificent’ crescent fringe. “You may have the plan, but The Great and Powerful Trixie is the one who executes the plot with dazzling efficacy. But would that really surprise you, m’dear? You have the charisma of a rabid Diamond Dog.” Rabbit doubled over and gave a long and hard – and very much over the top, might I add – fake laugh… and then he suddenly stopped with a deadpan expression on his face. “I have no idea what charisma means.” Before I go on, let me explain how Rabbit ended up in Equestria. The thing about that is… your guess is as good as mine. Almost two months ago, when Trixie was performing one of her shows in Stalliongrad, she had intended to pull a rabbit from her hat. Instead, she opened up a rift in time and space, and pulled a dazed and confused human out of that hat. One minute a simple and oblivious teenager is sitting in his bedroom playing Halo on Xbox Live, the next thing he knows he’s face down, eating Equestria dirt. Shit happens… apparently. I don’t know what irony is, but I’m pretty sure his resulting nickname ‘Rabbit’ comes pretty fucking close. Anyhow, the two of them had been thick as thieves ever since. They each had a particular set of skills that could benefit from each other, and after forging an alliance and buffing out some careful plans they had set out to take Equestria by storm. Staliongrad, Neighstad, Manehattan, they could hire all the security they wanted. They could have a big Equestrian Security cake-walk right through the middle of Trottingham Square, and it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. Trixie and Rabbit were coming to your town, and they were going to burn that motherfucker down! Err… metaphorically speaking, of course. Burn the town down, pain the town red… none of these phrases are meant to be taken literally. “… and that is why Trixie is the greatest pony who ever lived!” the pony said in her stage-voice, a tone laced with sophistication and theatrical style. Rabbit grumbled when he realised he had no intelligent argument to counter a statement such as; ‘I am awesome, simply because I am.’ without reverting to simply saying, ‘no you’re not.’ Remember when I said Rabbit was awesome? Well Trixie was awesome enough to mop the floor with him. Now let’s mix the exercise up a little by replacing the word awesome with egotistic. Seriously. Trixie reminded Rabbit so much of himself, sometimes it was downright fucking terrifying. Reverting back to her normal ‘off-stage’ demeanour, Trixie giggled at the expression on her ‘assistant’s face. “Don’t look so glum, Rabbit. We got a good thing going. Who cares if you’re number two?” Rabbit grumbled again, drawing another giggle from the azure illusionist. The bantering duo eventually reached a fork in the road and paused to get their bearings. There was a simple pole sticking out of the dirt in front of us, with two small signs nailed to it pointing in opposite directions. One pointed to the left, indicating the direction to travel for ‘Maneila,’ the path cutting into the thick forest stretching off towards the west. The other sign pointed to ‘Ponyville.’ Ponyville had a path that cut straight through the countryside directly in the direction of Canterlot. Maneila however skirted around to the left, curling away from the centre of Equestria. Rabbit glanced between the two paths and reached back. He pulled a square of folded paper from his back pocket and opened out a small map of Equestria. He had pieced it together through careful diplomacy and a skilled eye to go with his artistic flair. In other words, Trixie – being a native – helped… a little bit. Marked on his map were dots representing cities and towns along with the names. The map also revealed a train line running from Ponyville, straight to Canterlot. Cutting through Ponyville was the most direct route. Maneila on the other hand provided something of a detour. “We could head straight to Canterlot. Hit up Ponyville with a show, stock up and move straight through to the capitol.” Rabbit suggested, looking at the time conserving route. Glancing to his companion, Rabbit noticed Trixie was cringing at the sound of Ponyville. Merely looking at the sign was making her take an uncomfortable step towards the Maneila path. “You okay?” “Yes! Yeah, I’m fine.” Trixie nodded extremely vigorously, almost throwing off her hat. “I was just thinking, Ponyville is such small-fry. Maneila is bigger, and full of gullible foals. That would be a better target. Then we can just skirt by Ponyville, straight up to Canterlot.” She sounded as if she was desperate to give Ponyville a wide berth. The human stared at his companion for a while, then looked towards the Ponyville road. “You know Equestria best.” he reasoned with a shrug. “Maneila it is.” Trixie had taken care of him thus far. Rabbit trusted her to make the right call without question. Smiling with a hint of relief, the azure pony led the way towards Maneila. Rabbit followed closely, casting one more furtive glance to Canterlot before the trees blocked his view. ***[]*** “Gather one, gather all! Come and see, come and see! The Great and Powerful Trixie is in your presence, the greatest pony in all of Equestria!” the bow top of the wagon sprang open to reveal a sparkling backdrop as the side of the carriage folded out into an impressive looking stage. With a sway in her step, Trixie swayed her way out onto her mobile stage, fireworks shooting in her wake and streamers spraying across the Maneila town square. “Watch in awe. Be amazed. Weep with joy and cry with happiness as you are witness to the awesome that is the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Ponies, male, female, big and small gathered from all trots of life. They filed in from the market, left their homes and moved in close. They abandoned their jobs to see. To see the greatest showmare in all of Equestria. Hypnotized by the dazzling lasers and flashing lights shooting this away and that, they were in a trance, completely under Trixie’s spell. So much so, they didn’t notice the wag of her hips coupled with a suggestive wink to the human taking cover in some nearby bushes. So earlier on in our story you heard Trixie mention that she and Rabbit had – and I quote: ‘a good thing going.’ What did this mean? We’ll you’re about to find out. The show went on and Rabbit set to work. Trixie held the Equestria record for keeping a crowd’s attention. But Rabbit didn’t like risk. So time was always of the essence. He made a mad-dash on his tip-toes from the forest lining the edge of town. Unseen the human slipped around the back of the crowd watching Trixie and disappeared further into Maneilla’s cobbled streets. His backpack was missing, but he had replaced his survival gear with an empty messenger bag resting on his hip, the strap strung across his torso. A bag that would not be remaining empty for very long. Trixie had drawn the whole town to her show in a matter of moments with her old ‘razzle-dazzle’ routine. That left lots of empty streets and empty homes for Rabbit to get lost in. One of the emptiest points was the market. And one particularly empty apple stall took his fancy. He cleared the distance between him and it and slid into cover behind the market stall. The pony who owned this particular business was quite typical, leaving his apples and money for all to see… and take. Without questioning the morality of his actions, Rabbit made like his Skyrim avatar and snatched the purse laying on a shelf to the back of the stall and emptied the contents onto the countertop. Twenty small, circular unmarked golden coins rattled noisily onto the wood before him, glinting in the summer light. Thinking twice and acting once, Rabbit counted out four bits and slid them into his bag. Putting the rest of the money back, he then carefully returned the purse. Then before departing into the shadows, he quickly reached back and plucked up one of the many juicy looking apples that piled the stall. There was no such thing as thievery in Equestria. Everypony was honest and hardworking… and also gullible, trusting and innocent. Rabbit was willing and able to take advantage of this. Though having said that, the boy wasn’t a complete scumbag. He did have a sense of honour. A moral code, so to speak. Thievery was, after all, a gentleman’s game. There were two vital rules that separated Rabbit from common scumbags and thugs. ‘Never steal from those who cannot afford it’ and ‘when you steal, only what they will not miss.’ Hanging over the balcony of her home, a luminescent yellow mare clapped her hooves and whooped as Trixie broke into her classic cinematic Ursa Major story, a tale of how she vanquished a great demonic bear from the stars. Of course, there were flashing lights and plenty of vibrant explosions to keep everypony entranced. The lights and noise were enough to cover Rabbit as he opened a window somewhere behind the yellow mare and quietly slipped into her home. Landing on the balls of his feet, he quickly crouched low to minimise his silhouette, then tiptoed across the room right behind the entranced Pegasus. The first thing he found was the pantry, which he quickly pulled open before piling some tinned tomatoes, a pair of carrots and a flower of broccoli into his bag of treats. Quietly, Rabbit closed the pantry again and dove back out the window he’d entered. The mare was so riveted by the firework display she didn’t even hear the loud and clumsy ‘oomph’ of the human hitting the ground. The human’s next mark was a clothes boutique. Always a good mark for the random bits and bobs, specifically for mending, or even making, clothes. And boutiques were always in such a chaos anyway, they were a lost and found paradise. He could take all he wanted without anypony noticing. So he picked through the building, snatching up a few spools of thread, a couple of pins and needles – yelping as he grabbed a needle by the wrong end – along with some scraps of fabric and a few patches. Before he left through the back door though, Rabbit leaned backwards and marched to a halt observing a painting hanging on the wall. It was some sort of post-modern art piece depicting a horribly disfigured pony of some sorts with buck teeth, one eye bigger than the other, twisted in some comical posture; had it been a realistic depiction it would have been a great depiction of a car-wreck victim. Realising it was slightly askew, Rabbit straightened the painting and made his exit. After his visit to the boutique for some clothing essentials, Rabbit made his way to ‘the suburbs.’ There were s trip of attached houses, complete with tall fenced off gardens. Each of which was a potential gold-mine of supplies. From fresh vegetables to useful tools or implements. Stashing his bag, Rabbit leapt up on one of the garden fences and vaulted over the top, landing with a thud in the garden. All was quiet for a moment while he rummaged around. And then came the ‘yapping’ noise of a small dog. The barks were interrupted by a few human screams of terror, and the sound of teeth tearing into clothes. There was a ripping noise followed by more growls and barks. Ragged and distraught, Rabbit vaulted back over the garden fence and landed heavily with a pronounced ‘thud’ on his ass. His hair was tousled and there was a distressed look in his eye. His arms were laden with several heads of lettuce, some radishes and a couple of lemons, and the back of his t-shirt had been torn open by several sharp canine teeth. “I like dogs as much as the next guy,” Rabbit mumbled to himself as he caught his breath. “Just a pity they don’t like me.” He started stuffing the goods in his bag when the human paused, reached into a head of lettuce and pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses. God – if he was even watching (Rabbit surely hoped not) – only knew how they had ended up in a vegetable garden. “What the fuck.” He silently mouthed before flicking the arms open and slipping them over his eyes. After a run in with a vicious little ankle-biter, Rabbit felt he deserved something of a treat, and was just going to make lemonade out of lemons. And speaking of lemons, he finished stuffing those into his bag before moving on. Rabbit’s climbing axe was pretty much an all in one breaking and entering tool. It could serve as a simple climbing axe. It was a crow-bar. It was a hammer. It was an axe. It was a knife. Heck, tie on a length of rope and the damn thing was a grappling hook too! And a grappling hook was what he needed. With a custom length of climbing rope tied to the end of his climbing axe, he gave the makeshift grappling hook a twirl and threw it straight up. The first time he’d attempted this, he’d conked himself out twice. The third time he’d accidentally stabbed himself in the hand. The fourth time had been the charm, but the fifth had ended in another hammer-blow to the head. It had taken some practice, and practice had made perfect. In one deft show of skill, Rabbit hooked the axe over the guard-rail of an overhead balcony. He pulled the rope taught, and satisfied his hook was in place, the boy started to climb. He hung at arms length on his hands and coiled up his legs and back before wedging the robe between his feet. Satisfied his feet were secure, the human uncoiled and pushed himself up with the use of his legs. Hanging on his arms again, the process repeated. Coil, lock, uncoil, hang. Rinse, repeat. It was a classic gym-class lesson, rope climbing. Good full-body exercise, and an exercise Rabbit had thought useless for about five years of his life… until he had arrived in Equestria and actually found a use for said exercise. Clearing little over a dozen metres in just a quick minute, Rabbit peeked over the edge of the balcony and observed the goods. A small stash of drinks stored in the shade of a pub balcony. He noted the usual poisons. Apple cider. Pear cider. Cherry brandy. Cauliflower ale… and then the mother lode. His eyes moved to the base of the stack, where a single crate of the good stuff sat cooling in the balcony’s shade. Butter beer, something of a delicacy in Equestia, it didn’t come cheap either. Tough to brew, wanted by all and served appropriately in golden coloured bottles. If pure 24-carat gold was a delicious drink, butter beer would be that drink. “Boo-yeah!” the human whooped quietly, boldly duffling four of the golden bottles. A moment later he lost his grip on the rope, and yelping as he went, he slid all the way down with smoke belching cartoonishly from his hands. Eventually Rabbit realised he was getting heavy. His bag was bulging and his arms could carry no more. It was time to wrap things up. Like a cartoon villain sleuthing by an oblivious protagonist, Rabbit comically tip-toed around the back of the crowd watching the end of Trixie’s show. She was bowing deeply, and using her telekinesis to don her hat and cape again. The adoring crowds showered her with a couple of bits and various multi-coloured flowers. Before he dove into the treeline again and disappeared from sight, he gave his partner in crime a quick salute. And Trixie returned with a discreet wink. Such was their little scheme. Distract, divide and conquer. Trixie would distract the town. The townsfolk would divide to see the show. And Rabbit would conquer… their possessions of course. I really meant it when I said Trixie and Rabbit were thick as thieves. ***[]*** He was sitting on a hill about ten minutes out of town when she found him. Their pre-determined rendezvous point, unseen from any nearby roads. Rabbit sat in the comfortable grass sewing up the holes the dog attack had left in his shirt. Laying beside him in a heap was the loot, clearly visible when Trixie sleuthed up with her wagon, stage and home in tow. “Who’s like us?” Trixie whooped in happy tradition at the sight of their income. “Damn few. And they’re all dead.” Rabbit answered pulling the mended shirt again, the red string used to mend the tears clearly visible across his back. There was no such thing as fences in Equestria, so selling off stolen goods was risky. Also, the less people noticed things missing after Trixie’s show had passed through town, the better. Small time theft, in the long run of their scheme, was better than trying to go from rags to riches in no time. Some missing vegetables and pies could be attributed to some pests or wild animals. Some missing bits could be attributed to simple clumsiness. Even still, they had agreed on one thing. This kind of lifestyle, though prosperous for the moment, would not sustain either of them. Eventually ponies would catch on. Trixie and Rabbit had agreed to stop thievery after reached Canterlot. Maneila was the end of it. As it stood, both had enough bits saved from previous heists to settle down in Equestria’s capitol city. A city of lights, a place where dreams came true. But that was future Rabbit and Trixie’s problem. Right then, right there, they were immortals. They were gods. They were on top of Equestria and nopony could drag them down. The duo danced around the campfire. They enjoyed their bounty and whooped like wolves howling to the full moon. The night was theirs. Festivities didn’t last long though. They had been through a lot, hiking across Equestria, putting on a show and robbing Maneila blind… they were knackered, and soon the duo were laid back in the grass, heads next to each other, staring at the clear night sky. Pinpricks of light hung in the void of inky sky stretched out above them. It felt like the stars were twinkling just for them, and the moon, full and bright was watching over them. Right overhead was a lighter blueish purple shade of sky, with a nebula of stars streaking straight through the sky like a glittering ribbon across the night. Trixie had told Rabbit all about the princess of the night, Princess Luna who was responsible for raising the moon at night and dotting the sky with stars. It seemed she had outdone herself tonight. “When we get to Canterlot, I’m using my share to buy an inn.” Trixie sighed dreamily, breaking the silence between them. Rabbit let out a loud ‘hah’ as he shifted his eyes to look at her. “You? Settle down? You’re a traveller, Trix. You’ve been on the road all your life!” “Buck that noise! I’ve finally got the bits to settle down. I’ll call it the Bridle Mare. There will be live magic shows from the most talented ponies every night. Trixie, of course, will be the star attraction.” “Heh.” Rabbit smiled. Typical. “Ponies from all over Equestria will come to see. The inn where Butter Beer is affordable, and Cauliflower Ale is banned.” Rabbit burst out laughing. “And you sir, will be my bartender.” Trixie added. The human snorted loudly, turning his head to look if the pony was serious. She looked fairly serious, but Rabbit couldn’t be sure. That need to be chased by a swig of butter beer, and he knocked back his bottle for a moment. “So you’re gonna split profit with me to convince me to enter that arrangement? Ninety-ten to me?” “Whoa now! You drive a hard bargain, little-rabbit-in-my-hat.” Trixie teased. “Seventy-thirty to me.” She added in a matter-of-factly tone. “Fuck no.” Rabbit scoffed. “Fortyfive-fiftyfive.” “Deal!” the unicorn snapped, closing negotiations in an instant. “That’d be fifty-five to me, Trix.” Rabbit added casually. They both laughed at each other as Trixie playfully thrust a hoof against the top of Rabbit’s head. And slowly silence took over as they stared at the stars. Rabbit knocked back the final swig of his bottle, hardly noticing the ruffle in the grass as Trixie shifted. She rolled over and lay on her belly, hanging her head directly over the human’s blocking his view of the perfect night sky. Rabbit squinted and angled his head around the pony’s cute face. “What?” “Nothing.” She smiled, making Rabbit think it wasn’t nothing. “I was just thinking you’d deserve the five.” “Uh-huh.” Rabbit mused with an amused frown. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has grown some modesty. What will she do next?” Trixie just smiled. “You know… I never enjoyed life this much before you came around. I never thought I could.” “Oh, do I sense a ‘thank you’ coming?” Rabbit’s turn for a tease. “Just… shut up a second okay?” Rabbit smiled broadly up at the azure pony waiting patiently. Trixie stared for a moment into his eyes, then let out an explosive sigh. “Okay. Here goes nothing. I… Rabbit, before you came along… I was lost and… when you… everything just worked out with you, and… what I want to say is…” she stumbled over her own sentences before closing her eyes, sucking in a breath and just let it out. “Thank you! Thank you, Rabbit. Thank you!” Smiling, she threw her head back and called out to the heavens. “Alright? That what you want to hear? You are the best friend I’ve ever had, and I need to say THANK YOU!” her embarrassed voice echoed off into the night as Rabbit smirked it off. “Was that so hard?” He asked, and the pony blushed, still hanging over him. “And for what it’s worth. Thank you, Trix. You could’ve abandoned me, but you didn’t. You took care of me when I was a newcomer in Equestria. I appreciate it.” The pony smiled warmly. “It was my pleasure.” “Hah. Sharing your income and putting up with the burden of taking care of me? Sure it was.” “Rabbit… it really is a pleasure.” Rabbit suddenly stopped laughing, suddenly realising the pony was very close to him. Her nose pushed away his hat as she moved in close, her powerful breath causing his eyes to flutter for a moment. There was a timid little smile on her mouth while her head angled to a comfortable angle. He could smell burn magnesium in her hair, and the metallic smell of coins where she had jokingly rained bits down over her head while laughing manically during their festivities. There was a smell of crushed daisies and freshly cut grass on her breath. And then there was warmth under the chilly stars as her soft, moist lips pressed firmly against Rabbit’s mouth. Her lips parted slightly as she deepened the kiss, her tongue tentatively touching the human’s. With his eyes wide, Rabbit could clearly see Trixie’s eyes were comfortably shut, and he felt the corners of her mouth tug upward with happiness. There was a familiar taste on Rabbit’s mouth, like he’d fallen face down on a freshly cut lawn. His head was spinning badly, and he was so disorientated in those agonising seconds he wondered if he had indeed kissed the ground at full sprint. Very slowly the pony pulled back, realising that even though she was kissing, her partner wasn’t doing any kissing back. Their lips left each others’ company and Trixie’s eyes jerked open to look down at the human underneath her. “Fuck.” Rabbit cursed with surprise as he shuffled out from under the pony and gave her a suspicious look. “What was that?” She seemed to disregard the question entirely, speaking dreamily, like she was in some sort of drunken trance. “I love you.” were her slow, clear distinct words. “What!?” Rabbit squeaked with a shocked expression on his face. Blinking sharply, Trixie’s head jolted away as she realised what she’d just said and done. “Imean, I like you. Like… you’re my best friend.” Her cheeks blushed bright red through her azure coat as she quickly rolled onto her back with a light ‘plof.’ “I like you, as a friend.” She insisted. Rabbit frowned, staring at her as the initial surprise wore off. “Friends don’t smooch.” He stated plainly. “In Equestria they do…” she blushed even harder, her whole face turning to the colour of a beet. “Oh, of course. Sure. That makes sense, I totally believe that.” Rabbit nodded, his tone oozing with sarcasm. “I said I like you. That’s all I said.” “You said I love you.” Rabbit argued in a reasonable, calm tone. Trixie let out an aggravated groan that sounded something like the sound a dying giraffe might make. “Buck no! You’re a human after all, and I’m a pony. How gross is that!? I only said I like you and that means you’re my friend. Now would you sit your flank down and look at the stars?” Frustrated, the pony clopped some ruffles out of her hat and pulled it over her bright red face. “We’re heading to Canterlot tomorrow! Going to have a long day ahead of us!” “Uh-huh.” Rabbit was still smiling as he pulled his bush-hat over his eyes. One eye opened as he gave a final cheeky look to the disgruntled pony, before tucking his hands behind his head and drifting off to sleep… My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Characters, Settings, Designs and Themes © to Hasbro and the Respective Owners. 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