Where was that son of a bitch? He had to be around here somewhere, sure he could run, but he couldn’t hide, not forever at least. He wasn’t in the library, the ball room, the mess hall, the training ground or his own apartment and that left one place and one place only, the barracks. It was a smart place to hide, I had to admit that, since Gilda was probably there and I didn’t particularly want to go back there so soon after revealing what I was. Not to mention it was the most obvious place he’d be so it was logically the best place to hide, but who gave a damn about logic anyways?
I took a deep breath, strolled right up and bucked the door opens. Or at least, that’s what I expected to happened, instead they simply fell over and hit the ground with a massive slam that echoed through the barracks. I got more than one startled look and even one of the nightkin spun around, wings flared and magic at the ready.
“Alright, where is he?” I growled into the silence.
“Where is who?” frowned Pitch.
I immediately zeroed in on him and was in his face in a second, my lips beside his ear as I whispered softly, “Pitch, if you tell me where Eclipse is and if he is there, you and Shiver will find yourself coincidentally having next weekend off and I will just so happen to look the other way when you two just so happen to find enough bits on your desk to cover a hotel room for said weekend.”
He frowned sadly after a moment. “I swear, It’s times like this that I really wish I paid attention to Clipsey when he tells me where he’s going....”
“He’d kill you if he heard you calling him that,” I said before straightening up. “Alright, listen up, the first nightkin to find Eclipse and either bring him to me alive, and no, he doesn’t have to be conscious, gets an entire week off Gilda’s tartarian training programme. First nightkin to tell me where he is and for him to still be there once I get there, gets a weekend off all duties.”
There was silence for a moment, before Blight put his hoof up. “He told us he was going to the bathroom.”
“That was almost an hour ago,” Shiver gave Blight a flat look.
He shrugged. “Well, it was worth a shot for a weekend pass.”
“Did he say which bathroom?” I asked before Shiver could say anything.
Blight took in a deep breath, as if about to tell me something useful. “...No.”
“Well then, you better start checking all the bathrooms.” When none of them moved, I grinned at them. “Oh, do I need to add an incentive? Like, if you don’t, you get to have a one on one spar with Gilda?”
Pitch put up his hoof. “Seeing as how I already had my nose broken by her, can I be excluded?”
I rolled my eyes. “Why am I not surprised that was you?” I sighed and rubbed my temples. “Forget it, I’ll search the fucking toilets myself. And just so you know, if Blight turns out to be right, he gets the weekend off.”
“I will not stand for that!” Pitch said and stood up. “Under no circumstances should Blight be permitted to enjoy himself. Come on everyone, let’s go make sure he’s miserable.”
After a moment Blight stood up and walked outside. “You guys all suck.”
A growl rumbled in the back of my throat and I dropped my disguise. “Here’s the deal, I’m pissed off and I’m this close to beating someone half to death. I’d prefer that person to be Eclipse, so either say something helpful or shut the fuck up.”
“Look, Bluey,” Shiver said calmingly, “Eclipse is Luna’s little secret keeper. When he disappeared for a week to take care of you, none of us had a clue where he was then either. If he doesn’t want you to find him, you’re not going to find him.”
“So Luna knows where he is, gotcha.” I took a deep breath. “Also, if I end up in the sun, Shiver is in charge.”
“Does that mean she can distribute weekend passes?” Pitch asked hopefully.
“Pitch, please shut up before you end up with a broken bone,” I said.
“You know, I’m starting to think you guys just like seeing me hurt...”
“Everypony, raise a hoof if you enjoy seeing Pitch hurt.” A dozen or so hooves shot into the air. “Looks like we enjoy seeing you hurt.”
“Circumstantial evidence.” He waved a hoof dismissively. “Weren’t you about to go find your colt friend anyway?”
“Congratulations everyone, enjoy the mental image of Eclipse having sex with a bug, brought to you by the one and only Pitch,” I said and to my frustration, he did not seem phased at all, though some of the others looked a tad green.
“Look, if Eclipse likes antennas for reasons others than their practical purpose, who are we to judge?” Pitch shrugged. “I think we could all just be a bit more open minded. I see nothing wrong with a little interspecies action, as long as its between two consenting adults.”
I blinked and just stared at him before a groan escaped. “Pitch, I was this close to smacking you senseless and now I feel like promoting you. Just shut up before you say something Pitch-esque and ruin the moment.”
“Come on, who could be against interspecies? I mean, have you seen some of those gryphon ladies? And those males are the definition of stud, I almost feel worried at times.” He breathed on his hoof and polished it on his chest. “Almost.”
“Shiver, do you want to be Pitch’s sparring partner tomorrow?” I asked sweetly.
She glanced over at Pitch and cracked her neck. “With pleasure. Best of five, weapon of choice, to first blood?”
“Sounds reasonable.”
“How about instead, we go no weapons, first to tap out, and just one round?” He swallowed, before smiling nervously. “I mean, best of five is too forgiving, you know? If it’s just one round it’s nice and intense, only one chance at success and failure, yeah?”
“Well hooves are less likely to draw blood...” I mused out loud and if anything, Shiver’s grin got even more chilling.
“...Mercy?” Pitch whimpered.
“Say, Bluey, are baseball bats considered weapons?” asked Shiver.
“Definitely.” Pitch nodded.
As much as I wanted to stick around and watch the two of them snark it over, I had a mission before me. Find that stupid stallion and beat some sense into him. Preferably with something heavy, blunt and very damaging. Ignoring them all and the snacks that had been taken out by Blight, I stomped past and headed straight for Eclipse’s room. As much as I wanted to pretend his door was his face and just buck it to bits, I had enough sense left to use my maneclip to pick the lock and slip in.
Geez, I know I was expecting a boring room, but this was a snorefest. No pictures, no paintings, no photos. A wooden desk, a single bed, a chest, a closet, and that was it. There wasn’t even a mess on the ground or stacks of paper on his desk! What was he? A void of fun or something?
I threw open the top drawer of his desk and found everything filed away by date then subdivided into alphabetical order. Taking the most recent papers, I began skimming it, but they were simply reports on the new barrack construction, two new recruits as well as some other useless information that was completely and utterly pointless. Nothing here suggested anything about where he could be or what he was doing.
Slamming the drawer shut, I rifled through the rest of his room, but I found absolutely nothing. Not even a diary or a dirty magazine or a bottle of wine. What in the world was wrong with stallion. Booooooooooring. Damn it, stupid Eclipse, I should buck his face in.
Stomping out of the room, I slammed the door shut and began making my way out once more. If Eclipse was Luna’s favored, than I was going to ask Luna about where he was and she had better give me a straight answer. My disguise was back in place and I ruffled my wings in annoyance.
“Bluey?”
Oh shit.
“Bluey, do you know where Gilda is?” asked Trixie as she stepped out of Gilda’s room.
“N-No,” I said and swallowed nervously. I was dead, I was so dead if Gilda found out about this. Horribly murdered in the middle of the night and cut into tiny pieces, crunching on my shell like I was a lobster dead.
Her eyes narrowed. “You know where she is don’t you? Tell Trixie before she’s forced to show you just how great and powerful she truly is.”
“Look, I assume wherever she is, she’s with Eclipse and as soon as I find him, I’m going to kill him. I’ll tell Gilda you’re looking for her though.”
“O-Oh, okay.”
I frowned as she slipped back into Gilda’s room and closed the door. It was stupid and completely insane, but I could have sworn Trixie’s face crumple. It could have been a trick of the light, but was I really willing to take that chance? On one hoof, I could talk to her and figure out what was going on, but then Gilda would kill me for talking to her. On the other hoof, if she was emotionally unstable and I didn’t do anything, I was probably deader than dead.
Fuck my life.
I sighed and knocked on the door. “Hey, Trixie? Can I come in?”
After a second, the door clicked and swung open and I slipped in, closing it lightly behind me.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
“Of course!” she snapped and this time, I was positive there was some water in her eyes. then again, you’d think the waves of stress and sadness just rolling off her would have been a big enough clue. Bleah. Always hated those emotions, so bitter and salty.
“Come on, talk to me, I’m your friend right?”
She hesitated.
“And if we’re not, I’d like to be friends.” I held out a hoof, knowing full well that if she even mentioned me and ‘friend’ in the same sentence to Gilda, I was going to be tortured for weeks before dying.
“No doubt you do, after all, Trixie’s aura of greatness draws in ponies like moths to a flame!” I cocked my eyebrow at that, but she continued on, completely oblivious. “Trixie would gladly take another adoring fan into her fan base.”
Once more I found myself facehoofing and wanting to strangle another pony. As much as I wanted to just walk out that door, if Gilda found out Trixie was having emotional issue and I just walked out, count me dead. Damn it, how many ways can a single mare die from an angry gryphon? I suppose I could force some calmness onto her, but then again, I do like the thought of a fast and painless death.
“I was thinking of being friends, you know, one step above fan?” I said sort of hopefully.
“Submit a CV and Trixie will see if you’re up to Trixie’s standards,” she replied.
That got a flat look. “Look, it’s obvious there’s something wrong, so you can either tell me or I can leave and let you wallow.”
“Trixie is not wallowing!”
“Oh really?” I gestured at the tissues on the ground, the nest she had made out of the blankets, and the fact that it was stupidly obvious she had been snuggling with the pillow.
“Trixie is not wallowing,” she growled.
“Romance issues?” I guessed.
“Trixie is perfectly happy with Gilda!” she snarled and the anger was enough to make me stumble back.
“Okay, okay, geez.” I rubbed my temples. “Look, I’m just trying to help.”
“Trixie doesn’t need your help!”
“Alright, I’m leaving them. Got to find Eclipse and beat some sense into him.” I made for the door, deliberately taking my time so that she could stop me if she wanted and let’s admit it, misery loves company.
“Romance issues?” she snarked back and I actually froze midstep.
“What.” I spun around and glared at her. “We’re not dating!”
“Sounds like you’re dating,” she replied, a smug grin plastered all over her face. “You two go everywhere, you want to beat him to death, but Trixie is certain you two will end up making out.”
I rolled my eyes. “According to him, I’m ugly.”
“What.” Trixie just stared at me in disbelief. “Is he blind?”
That made me cock an eyebrow and she flushed slightly. “Don’t get the wrong idea, Trixie only has eyes for Gilda and she totally outranks you in the same way Celestia outranks the average unicorn’s magic, but Trixie does enjoy looking occasionally.”
Great. Just fucking great. Not Trixie was checking me out, as if I wasn’t dead already this had to happen. Celestia was behind this wasn’t she? She hates gryphons, she hates nightkin and she hates changelings. Good thing I wasn’t a changeling pretending to be a nightkin gryphon thingie then otherwise she’d blast me to death in her sleep or something. I hate my life.
“Just... no threesomes. Ever. Don’t even mention it, don’t bring it up, don’t even think about it.” I shuddered at the thought of what Gilda would do if she found out. “In fact, don’t even mention this ever again.”
“Are you saying Trixie is ugly?” she demanded with a glare.
Seriously? Seriously!?
I groaned and facehoofed. “Look, Gilda scares me to death, I’d rather not end up on her personal torture rack.”
“She’s a softie at heart,” said Trixie and I could already feel the love gushing off of her.
What.
“I’m... going to ignore that and pretend I never heard it, because I think you just broke my brain,” I said after a minute of silence. “I’m just saying, I’d rather not have Gilda kill me in the middle of the night, though I doubt she’d be that kind.”
“She wouldn’t do that without a good reason.”
Like being a changeling?
“Regardless, let’s give her less reasons shall we?” I hesitated a second before saying cautiously, “How’s your horn?”
“There’s nothing wrong with my horn,” she snapped.
“Look, I was there when you rushed Gilda in, I guarded the door the entire time.” I grinned before adding in an exaggerated whisper, “Also, I hope you don’t wake anyone up in your apartment complex, we could hear you two despite the soundproofing enchantments.”
She stammered and blushed and tried to say something, but for the first time I had known her, she was actually speechless. Eventually though, she just looked at me flatly and said, “I may not have my magic, but Gilda has been teaching me self defense and I can take you on and I will win.”
I gulped and smiled nervously. “M-My bad.”
“Good.” She nodded and snuggled down into her little nest, taking a deep breath as she did so. “On that note, what is it like being a nightkin anyways?”
I blinked at that question. “It’s the same as being any other creature.”
“No, Trixie means, what’s it like, you know,” she gestured vaguely at me, “losing your magic and all that. I mean, Luna says being a nightkin won’t restore my magic, but, well, some magic is better than none, right?”
“Um...” I licked my dry lips and shifted uncomfortably. “It’s pretty sweet the things you can do. Moving through shadows, see in the dark, you know, I mean, Gilda is a nightkin.”
“But Gilda never had magic,” said Trixie with a shrug.
“Well then, the question is what do you have to lose?” That gave Trixie pause as she thought it over. “I mean, you can functionally perfectly without magic, but if you want some magic back, what do you have to lose?”
She licked her lips. “Gilda... is not the biggest fan of Luna.”
I blinked. “Really? That’s surprising.”
“Is it really? Have you seen the way Gilda talks to Luna?” she chuckled. “Luna likes Gilda, but the other way around? Not happening.”
“Oh, alright.” I rubbed my temples. “Look, being a nightkin is a big deal. Once you join, there’s no backing out, it’s a probationary existence, ponies are afraid of us, view us with distrust and all that jazz. Sure, you’ll get your magic, but you’ll be a military personnel and there’s apparently a no dating rule.”
“No dating rule?”
“Yeah, though that hasn’t stopped Pitch and Shiver screwing each other silly every night.” I seriously needed to ask Luna to install some emotional dampeners in my room so I didn’t end up with weird dreams. “But yeah, it’s technically not allowed, I think the only reason we get away with it is because Luna’s in charge.”
“Ah.” Trixie immediately nodded. “Goddess of the Night and all that, yes, I can see how that’d be. Still...”
“Still?”
Trixie shook her head, “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“It’s. Nothing.”
“Okay, okay, geez, it’s just Gilda is super protective of you an-”
“If she’s so overprotective where’s she been this last week!” she yelled.
I blinked. “Oh, so I’m not the only one that has somebody avoiding them.”
“Eclipse?”
I nodded. “Yeah, we were meant to go out for a drink the other day, but he just upped and left without so much as a word.”
“Well at least you knew before you had been waiting at the diner for an hour like a foal.”
That got a wince and sympathetic pat on the back out of me. “Sounds bad. Any reason why she didn’t show up?”
“No,” she replied and I didn’t need to be an emotional leech to feel the anger and sadness in that single word.
“Hey, have a little bit of faith, I’m sure she had her reasons,” I said.
“And what would they be?” she asked.
“Um...” I smiled nervously and rubbed the back of neck. “Maybe she and Eclipse are out on a mission together?”
Now it was her turn to give me a flat look.
“Look, if you trust her, you’ll give her the benefit of the doubt right? And since you’re dating her and letting her be in the same general vicinity as me, you must trust her, ergo, you should give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“Well, Trixie supposes that is logical...”
“So what’s the big deal then?”
“Nothing,” she muttered.
Great, back to square one. Well considering she snapped at the over-protectiveness, maybe there was something there? But exactly what that was, was a mystery to me. Did she hate the over-protectiveness of it all? Possible, but considering her nature, she probably loved every single last second of it. There was something there, there had to be something there.
“So what’s your deal with Eclipse anyways?” asked Trixie. “What did he do to make you want to kill him so badly? All he did was not go on a date with you.”
“It was not a date!” I yelled.
“Of course not.” She smirked at me.
That got her a glare in return.
“Come on, there’s no need to be so modest, Trixie has seen the way you look at him.”
“What? A look that says he’s an idiot?”
“A look that says ‘I want to have your babies,’” she shot back. “Trixie is Great and Powerful you know, it’s only right she can figure out what your puny mind is trying to comprehend.”
“Sure,” I said flatly. “Did you miss the part about nightkin being on probationary existance?”
“Did you miss the part about what’s-his-name and what’s-her-name screwing each other silly every night?”
I groaned and buried my face in my hooves. The worst part about this entire scenario was that she was right. Bloody stupid stage magician.
“It’s not my love life under discussion, it’s yours!” I said.
“What’s fair is fair.” She sounded all too smug for my liking. “Since you’re prying into my private life, Trixie is going to return the favor.”
“Fine, I want to fuck Eclipse, happy?” For that, I was rewarded with look of disbelief. “But he’s got it in his head that we wouldn’t work out and that we shouldn’t date and all sorts of fucking stupid shit that I have no words for his sheer stupidity. I mean, you and Gilda work out, so why shouldn’t we? You know what I mean?”
“Well... um...” Trixie coughed and rubbed the back of her neck. “What?”
“And he’s all like, ‘You’re not mare’ or something stupid like that and I mean, how do you deal with that sort of stupidity!?” I punched the wall. “I mean, it’s like he’s secretly in love with me and instead is coming up with... all... sorts...” I stared at the hole in the wall. “Gilda is going to murder me when she finds out I did that.”
“Just cover it up with a poster.” With an evil grin, Trixie walked forward and pulled one out of her cape and began sticking it up. Once she was done, she stepped back and admired the picture of her posing on the wall in an almost risque position. “Perfect.”
Cue facehoof.
“Are you trying to make her find the hole?” I said.
“What’s wrong with the poster?”
I gestured at it. “Everything? I mean, just look at it, do you see anything in here that’s anywhere nearly that... provocative?” I pointed at all the swords and crap on the walls. “There’s so much weaponry on those walls that this could be considered an armory!”
“Yeah...” Trixie sighed and closed her eyes. “Last time you saw Gilda, did she have a knife on her?”
“What?” I frowned.
“A dirk, simple, brass handle, small guard, double edged, leather wrapped hilt, worn,” said Trixie, listing of attributes in quick succession. “Did she have it on her!”
“I... I don’t know.”
Trixie was suddenly on top me, slamming me into the wall and pinning me there with her hoof across my throat. “Think. Hard.”
Forcing air into my burning lungs I tried think back to the last time I had seen her. She shoved a dagger into my throat, but then outside Luna’s chambers, did she...
“N-No. She didn’t have it-”
Trixie stumbled back as though struck and immediately spun around, diving for the chest in the corner. A set of professional lock picks came out from under her cloak and she immediately shoved it into the lock and began fiddling around with it. With each passing second the anger and frustration built and her body shook more in barely restrained sobs until she finally gave a yell of frustration. Stepping back, she glared at the lock and for a split second, I thought she was about to buck it to bits until the scent of burning fur filled the air and I realised what was happening. Without a second thought, I slammed into her side, sending her into the bed and breaking her concentration.
“What the fuck!” I yelled at her. “You can’t use magic!”
“I don’t care,” she screamed back. “I need to know what’s in there! I have-”
“Then I’ll do it!” I growled, “But I am not letting you hurt yourself.”
Slowly, I stepped back, making sure to keep an eye on Trixie as I did so. Once I was certain she wasn’t going to do anything stupid and potentially blow up half of Canterlot if her stories were to be believed, I began working on the lock. It was a tough nut to crack, no doubt every costly and probably custom made, but hey, I was a changeling and I was trained in breaking and entry. Sure, I prefered a brick through the window approach, but I could do subtly on occasion.
With a growl of frustration, I stepped back and bucked the chest. Hard. I glared at it over my shoulder and then began bucking it again and again and again until the sound of splitting wood could be heard and all that was left was a pile of wood.
“There,” I panted. “Op-”
I suddenly found myself on the ground as Trixie shoved past, rifling through the rubble frantically. And just as suddenly, she stopped and just stared down at the dagger she had described to me mere seconds ago. Her entire body shook as she picked it up and just walked back to the bed, curling around it in her little nest.
“Trixie?” I took a hesitant step towards her. That wasn’t the first time I had seen that look, it wasn’t even the first time I had seen that walk, but every single time I had seen it? It was a changeling walking towards their death and knowing it was the end. “Come on Trixie, talk to me.”
She just continued staring at the dagger.
“Tri-”
“Something happened recently, didn’t it? Something big that shook her up.”
I hesitated before nodding slowly.
“She’s avoiding me, you know.” Trixie unsheathed the knife and held it up to the light. “This knife... she killed her brother with this knife and she’s kept it close ever since, if she’s locked it up then... She’s afraid. Of hurting me. Of hurting those close to her.”
Trixie was suddenly on her hooves, dagger strapped to her hoof as she strolled past me. “I need to find her.”
“Is tha-”
“Trust me. She needs me right now.” Trixie paused at the door before looking back at me. “And if you need help kicking Eclipse’s flank, Gilda has been teaching me some things and I’d love to try it out.”
I just stared at her as she closed the door behind her.
“What the fuck just happened?”
For the first time in what felt like forever, things were quiet. Well, kinda quiet. I mean, no one was talking to me which was fine, but I felt pretty guilty about bailing on my date with Trixie. Sure I had good reasons, but I could have left a note or something couldn’t I?
Whatever. I did what was right.
Grace quietly sat there, sharpening his talons with a piece of broken glass while I did my best to ignore him. He always managed to find a seat right in the corner of my vision, so no matter what I was looking at I could always see what he was up to.
With a sigh, I leaned back against the park bench and tried to think of a way to amuse myself. Bored, and guilty. Not a great emotional state to be in, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything else right then.
What’s with it and the parks in Canterlot, and always being so freaking empty this time of year? Sure, it was still the cold part of spring and most ponies couldn’t take the cold that well, but it was a nice day wasn’t it? Where were the foals playing tag or ball or something to put me in a better mood?
The wind ruffled my feathers, and I groaned before leaning forward and staring out over the pond in front of me. “There aren’t even any freaking ducks.”
“Ducks are overrated anyways. Not cool enough.”
I flinched at the sound and stood up, turning around to see Dash standing there. After I got over my shock, I felt a bit of panic rise up inside me for some reason. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey, don’t look at me like that, I wouldn’t be up this early but your marefriend has a seriously loud mouth.” She picked her ear with a hoof. “Geez, you’ve seriously freaked her out you know and now we’re all looking for you. I assume you’ve got a reason for avoiding her.”
I turned around and looked back out at the pond. “It’s my day off, I can do whatever I want. Just go back and tell her I’m fine.”
“G, we may not have talked much until recently, but it’s obvious something is wrong.”
I had to fight a groan. “Look, I’m...”
“Inevitably going to snap and murder you?” Grace offered.
“...I’m just not feeling it today, alright? Just... go home. I’ll work it out.”
“G?” She sat down next to me.
I stood up and moved away from her. “Seriously, back off.” I warned.
“Alright, alright.” She held up both hooves. “But at least give me something to tell Trixie. Or, you know, come back with me. Your marefriend scares me.”
A small chuckle escaped my beak. “Yeah, she’s pretty awesome...” I scratched the back of her head. “Just tell her that... some things came up and I had to deal with them.”
“Can I get that in writing? Preferably with my next insurance payment attached.” Dash stretched her wings out. “Seriously, she had this wicked knife on her and it looked like she was willing to use it. I could totally take her on, but then Twilight would chew me out over it.”
I snorted. “Don’t test your luck. Trixie can fight better than most ponies I know, and that includes you. Look, just tell her I’m having some issues, and that... that... I’m sorry, but not to worry.”
“Well she told us to tell you to stop being so stupid and to stop thinking you're dangerous and that she trusts you and blah, blah, blah. A whole bunch of sappy crap that’s gag worthy.” In typical Dash style, she decided to pretend to throw up. “Don’t tell me you’re turning sappy as well.”
“Dash, I can and will pull every last strand of that lame ass mane out of your skull.”
“This mane? This thing here? Totally, one hundred and twenty percent pure, distilled awesomeness from the Goddess of Cool herself.”
“I wonder if concentrated awesomeness burns...” I tapped a claw to my chin.
“It would for any normal pony,” she shot back, “and stop changing the subject.”
“Look, I don’t want to talk about it with you, alright?” I just didn’t have the patience to deal with her right then. “So unless you’ve got anything else to say, fuck off.”
“Yeeeeeaaaaah, I’d rather get killed by you than her.”
“I’m not gonna kill you, Dash.” I growled.
Grace started chuckling.
“Shut up,” I hissed at him.
“Did you just...” Dash waved a hoof through Grace’s head.
“Did I just what?” I snapped at her.
“Talk to yourself?”
I grit my beak, I stared at the sky. “Just fuck off, dude. I really don’t want to deal with this.”
“Hey, I just want to help you know,” she hissed.
“So did he,” I muttered and turned away.
“Who!” she yelled as she was in front of me. “Come on G, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“Yeah, we can talk about anything when you’re in the mood, but when it’s the first time we’d seen each other since flight school you don’t give me the chance to say a single bloody thing before you throw me out of your stupid town.”
“Hey, you were messing with my friends!”
“Oh, and what the fuck was I, huh? What the fuck did you think I thought that pink bitch was doing to me? But no, it wasn’t even your friends messing with me, you just thought it was an awesome idea to take your friend who’s still dealing anger issues and drive them completely insane!”
“Well I’m sorry alright? I sent you letters afterwards, but you never replied!” She jabbed my chest.
“Great lot of fucking good some letters did me when I was getting dragged half-dead across the Kingdom by your stupid bitch of a princess! I thought loyalty meant sticking by your friends despite the shit that comes up!”
“Hey, it would have helped if I knew something was wrong! What else was I supposed to do? For all I knew you were going to toss me out the minute I stepped through your door!”
“You know it was because of that party I ended up in jail in the first place, right? If it wasn’t for what happened I would still be a fucking gryphon instead of this thing.” I snatched the sunglasses off so she could see my face. “I might not have knife scars on my wrists.” I jammed an arm in her face. “Trixie’s horn might still be working.” Turning away, I glared at Grace who was staring at me with a shit-eating smirk. “He might still be alive...” As I stared at him, my anger kinda just melted away. “...All because of some lame-ass pranks.”
“Considering the number times we pranked each other in the past, I figured you could handle it,” she sighed.
“I’m not blaming you.” I muttered. “Just... Fuck, it was one of those moments, you know? When things should have gone well, but just went to complete shit instead.”
“Yeah... it was...” Dash frowned and ran a hoof through her mane. “Look, Twilight’s smart and she‘s close with both Princesses, I’m sure I can drop a word and they think of something to reverse the cool eyes and help fix Trixie’s horn.”
“Not possible.” I muttered. “I already asked some doctors and did some research on it and shit. It’s like... shattering a glass or something. You just can’t put it back together with glue and sticky tape.”
“Except we’re talking about Twilight here, she has so many scholarships and crap that you could bury somepony with them. There’s so many, she keeps most of them in the basement. Plus, there’s no harm in asking, right?”
“Hey, Twilight, I know we’ve never really met other than that time I pissed off you and all of your friends, but would you mind spending a billion bits and eight years in medical research to maybe find a way heal a mare that hates your guts?” I gave Dash a sarcastic look. “Real fucking likely.”
“Look, you want me to give it a shot or not?” She looked up to the sky and muttered under her breath, “And she’d probably agree even if you phrased it like that.”
“Then she’s a complete moron.” I snorted. “And reversing the nightkin ritual is even more impossible. Luna doesn’t even know everything about making it work yet, not to mention I’m the only gryphon nightkin thing in existence. And on top of that, trying to undo this would be like... grinding five glasses into powder, throwing them on the ground, covering them in glue, leaving it to dry, and then trying to fix all five glasses again.”
“Alright, geez just tossing it out there,” she said defensively.
“Yeah, well... if I’m being a bitch just go away.” I shrugged. “I want to be alone, anyway.”
“You’ll never be alone.” Grace chuckled.
“You’ll never be alone,” said Dash and I flinched. “As long as I’m around and... I can’t believe I’m saying this, but as long as Trixie is around, you’ll never be alone.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I gave her a look. “You think that shit doesn’t eat me alive?”
“Then let us help damn it,” growled Dash.
“I don’t need help, I need a padded room and a straight jacket!” I snapped at her. “Or better than that, a bag over my head and a rope around my neck! Save your fucking selves, damn it! Stop coming after me!”
“Heh, no can do G, you’re stuck with the rest of us loonies and we ain’t letting you go that easily.”
“You don’t get it do you.” I growled. “Danger is a combination of two things; how likely things are to go wrong, and how bad shit will be when it does go wrong. I’m a bloody time bomb! I don’t even know what could set me off, and just yesterday I found out Luna had been playing with matches and a fuse just for the fuck of it! You know what’s gonna happen when I snap? Not if, when? I don’t even fucking know, but I know someone’ll be dead.”
“And when was the last time you snapped? Two days ago. And who died? No pony. Get over yourself Gilda, this angst is seriously stinking up the place. If Trixie trusts you enough to stick by you, then so do I!” She took a step towards and glared at me. “And everypony snaps, the way I hear it, Twilight is scared shitless of snapping because she has enough power to level this fucking city, but you don’t see her whining like a foal do you!?”
“She never murdered her own brother.” I growled into Dash’s face.
She blinked before growling back at me, “And you didn’t turn your parents into potted plants!”
“You don’t get it, Dash. I kil-”
“No, you don’t get it! We trust you. I trust you to have my back and Trixie trusts you with her life! Get that through your stupid, gotten skull you feather brain! We trust you so stop doubting yourself and trust us. Oh boo hoo, you killed your brother, your traumatised, you want to off-”
It had been a long time since I hit someone that fucking hard. One claw grabbing her coat to hold her in place, and the other making a fist in the most obvious punch I’d done in a long time. I don’t know how Dash didn’t see it coming, or why she didn’t dodge it. Maybe it was because she was used to living in Ponyville, and wasn’t used to anyone trying to hit her. Whatever reason, it was the sort of punch I felt right up to my shoulder.
She spat some blood on the ground and glared up at me. “That the best you got? I’ve been hit harder by Fluttershy’s pet bunny.”
I rolled my eyes and snorted. “Fuck you, Dash. If I don’t talk about your dad that way, you don’t get to say a goddess damned thing about my brother.”
“Oh no you don’t!” She returned my punch full force and I found myself stumbling back, the taste of blood in my beak. “I get to fucking talk about your brother like that when it’s obvious your brother is the issue!”
I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth. “It doesn’t matter what he did. You don’t get it, do you? When the chips were down, when it all turned into that goddess damned shit storm, I had it in me to just do that. I stared straight into his eyes while I killed him. And the scariest thing is I was the sanest I’d been in a while right then. Despite what he meant to me, and how much I cared about him, I was able to just forget it and kill him,” I snapped a claw, “just like that. That means I could do it to you, I could do it Trixie, I could do it to fucking hundreds! As long as I have enough reasons I could kill anyone! And now I’m going insane, I don’t even need a reason! I don’t even need an excuse to kill someone anymore, all I need is a bloody spark to set me off!”
“You’re not insane, I’ve seen insane and you’re nowhere close to it.”
Grace coughed into his claw. “You would be wise to question her judgement on the matter.”
“Look, G, we trust you. And while I don’t know what happened two days ago to set you off, nopony died and I’m sure if you could overcome that, you can overcome anything. You just need to, you know, work out your issues and come to grips with what happened. I don’t know what happened while you were away, but it obviously left some scars, and I’m not talking about the wicked one on your chest. If you don’t trust yourself, trust Trixie and me. Alright?”
“Dash, you know you’re the one who thought it would be a good idea to fly that storm front when we were fifteen, right? On your judgement when it comes to your own safety, you’re not really the best.”
“You’re seriously going to make me say it aren’t you?” sighed Dash. “Fine, Trixie then.”
“Trixie’s barely any more sane than I am.” I sighed. “I love her, but... she’s not... very good at a thing called logic.”
“Finally, we agree on something,” muttered Dash under her breath before she blinked and quickly said, “Not like that! I mean, that is... fuck. Why am I the one stuck with all this sappy shit?”
“You’re not stuck with me, the doors right there.” I waved a claw at the empty space all around us. “I keep telling you to use it.”
“Look, G, just trust me on this. I’d rather have you guarding my back than all my other friends, except possibly AJ.”
I sighed. “Dash... I just... I...” After a moment of searching for the words to make her understand, I gave up. Instead, I just grit my jaw and gave her a flat look. “I’m allowed to spend my day off anyway I want, and if you’ve got a problem with that you can go get drunk and screw your way through half the population of Canterlot, just like back in Cloudsdale. If you want you can get your ass kicked again and guilt me into apologising, but until then I’m just sick of your face. Seriously, fuck off.”
“You- I- Wha-” With a scream of frustration she punched me and yelled, “I did not screw half of Cloudsdale you- you- you- Argh!” And just like that she was gone.
With a sigh, I walked back over to the bench and sat down. Grace was there, waiting for me when I did.
“Surprising. For once you did the selfless thing.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I groaned and rested my head in my claws, staring out at the pond. “Where are those stupid ducks, anyway?”
“King me.” The soft, shaky voice of an old mare instructed.
“Good move.” Eclipse commented as he placed the piece on the board.
“Oh, I might be getting on in my years but I can still play a good game of...” she seemed confused for a moment. “Of... this game.”
“You must have played it a lot over the years,” he replied, gently moving a pawn forward a row.
“Oh, yes, yes... My youngest boy...” She paused, frowning in though... “Oh, what was his name again?” She was silent for a moment, tapping her chin. After a moment she gave up. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll remember it in a moment, but he used to love playing this game... what did you call it again?”
“Chess,” Eclipse said quietly.
“Yes, yes, that... who’s turn is it?”
“It’s yours.” Eclipse said as he retreated behind his emotional shield. Now was not the time to be tearing up, not in front of her
There was a moments pause, before she jumped one of her bishops over a knight and to the end of the board. “King me.” The mare ordered.
“Good move.” Eclipse commented as he removed the piece.
“Oh, I might be getting on in my years but I can still play a game of... of... this game.”
“You were saying about your son?”
“Oh, yes, my son... sweet boy, horribly shy... which of my boys was that?”
“Your youngest.”
“Ah, yes... Stopper?”
“Yes, that’s his name.” Eclipse felt a flash of joy, even through his denial of all feelings.
“Oh, I haven’t seen him in a while...” she frowned sadly. “He’s been so busy with school and... other things. But I’m sure he’ll visit soon.”
“I’m sure he will.” Eclipse nodded.
“He was such a sweet boy, always hugging his mother and crying when I left him on his first day of school.”
He nodded, and moved a bishop into range of her castle. “Your move.”
She stared at it for a moment, before she moved her pawn forward three paces and over the top of his bishop.
Without a comment, he removed the bishop from the board. “You were saying?”
“Ah yes... I... what was I saying?” she stared at him curiously.
“That you won.” He waved a hoof at the board. “You were telling me what I was doing wrong.”
“Oh. Oh, well... just keep working at it, young stallion. Don’t be too sad, I’m sure with time you’ll beat me eventually.” She smiled gently. “When I’m old and losing my marbles, no doubt.”
Eclipse swallowed. “Thank you. I do enjoy learning from you.”
She cackled heartily. “It’s alright, I did enjoy our game... what was your name again?”
“Eclipse,” he repeated.
“Yes, yes, a handsome name for a nice young stallion like yourself... It’s very kind of you to stay here and listen to the stories of an old mare like me. Kindness from a stranger like that is a precious thing...”
“Thank you.”
“I bet your mare is very happy.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it after a moment.
“What did you say her name was again?” she peered at Eclipse curiously.
He opened his mouth, then he frowned after a moment. “...Melancholy.”
The mare smiled. “That’s a pretty name, and a handsome match for... I’m sorry, what was your name again?”
“Eclipse.”
“Yes, yes, a handsome name for a nice young stallion like yourself... It’s very kind of you to stay here and listen to the stories of an old mare like me. Kindness from a stranger like that is a precious thing...”
He paused, and said after a moment, “Thank you.”
“Your mare is a very lucky one. What did you say her name was?”
“...Blue Moon.” he said.
“Blue Moon and Eclipse.” She chuckled. “It’s amazing the connections we make like that in life. Two ponies who never knew each other could be linked so perfectly in name and bond...”
He coughed into his hoof. “Yes, amazing.” Hadn’t he suggested that name for her? Eclipse frowned. A concerning thought.
“It is, it really is...” she nodded and noticed the board in front of them. “Oh, I’m sorry, was it my turn?”
“...No, you just won actually.” He stood up and bowed politely at her. “You’re very good.”
“Oh, thank you. It just takes experience and practice.”
He frowned as an unpleasant odor reached his nose. Sighing, he held his breath and said, “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go now.”
“Oh...” she smiled. “Yes, you’re excused. Please come back soon Mr...”
“Eclipse.” He bowed his head and turned away. As he walked out the door, he signalled a nurse over who approached him cautiously.
“Yes?” Her eyes flicked nervously to his wings and teeth.
“I’m afraid she soiled herself again.” Eclipse wrinkled his nose. “If you could please get someone to change her diaper, I would be grateful.”
“O-oh. Of course, right away.”
“Thank you.” He nodded and continued down the corridor towards the stairs. The stairwell was empty, something he was grateful for because he only made it down one floor before he had to stop and wipe the tears from his eyes.
She remembered his name.
A sad chuckle escaped before he managed to compose himself again. After a moment, he wrestled his emotions back under lock and key. Shaking his head, and sniffing one last time to clear his nose, he continued down the stairs.
“You know, you shouldn’t hide your emotions like that.”
He stumbled on a step, and turned around to see Bluey standing there. A frown creased his lips. “What are doing here?”
“Looking for you, why else?” She tilted her head curiously to the side. “That was your mother?”
“How did you find me?” He glanced up the stairs. “How much of that did you see?”
She smiled that eternally playful smile of hers and merely shook her head. “Just for reference, I prefer Blue Moon to Melancholy, and not just because it sounds better, but because someone close to me gave me that name.”
Eclipse nodded. “I believe that was the name Vinyl Scratch suggested.”
“Suggested, but not named.” She booped Eclipse on the nose. “You named me. She called me Bluey after my coat when necessary, it was an alias, a mask, but you were the one who introduced me to others as Blue Moon. You gave me something important when you did that, more so than you could ever know and don’t forget that.”
“...Yes, that was my mother. I was the youngest in a family of thirteen. She usually recognises my brothers and sisters.”
“You know, you shouldn’t repress your emotions so much, it’s rather beautiful. When you do feel them, you do so with your whole body, your whole being and passion.” She touched his cheek lightly. “Few beings are like that.”
Logic dictated the best course of action would be to remove her hoof from his cheek before she considered it a romantic opportunity. The part of him he was suppressing told him that he didn’t mind it so much. Perhaps it was because his control was already frayed at the edges, but ultimately he made no move to stop her.
“I would ask that you don’t mention this to anyone.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said before that impish grin was back on her face, “So... who was this mare you two were talking about?”
He frowned at her. “Please, understand that what you saw in there isn’t something I want to discuss. I trust you to keep it private, but ultimately what you saw was an interaction between a mother and her son. Don’t mistake it for something else.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine. But just so you know, Luna will be lifting the ban on dating in the nightguard soon.”
“If she feels that’s wise.” He nodded and turned away to start trotting down the stairs. “Any other changes while I was gone?”
“Gilda has gone missing, Trixie dropped by, Shiver and Pitch are at least fucking each other’s brains out if not outright dating, I’ve been keeping them busy with stealth drills, the changelings are still keeping their traps shut aaaaaand I think that’s about it. But I’m not here about that.” She poked him in the chest. “I’m worried about you. Repressing emotions are not healthy and you’re random disappearance is concerning. Come on Eclipse, talk to me.”
“It was a minor problem and I dealt with it.” No he hadn’t. The problem was standing right there in front of him. “Don’t worry, it’s not an issue.”
“Eclipse.” She stopped in front of him, a frown on her face. “We’re friends right?”
“Of course,” he nodded and the part of him he was holding back simultaneously objected to that term, and celebrated her concern.
“Then talk to me. I...” She looked away. “I’m not reading your emotions you know, because I trust you enough to not do that, but you’re seriously making it hard for me to keep trusting you. Talk to me damn it!” She suddenly punched his chest and, not for the first time, he was surprised at just how hard she could hit. “I know you’re not into me in that way, I know your job and career means more to you even if you were, but damn it, as your fucking friend, I want to help! Just talk to me. Talking helps...”
It would be stupid of him to tell her, and give her a hope that he could be with her romantically. But... He really did find it hard to say no to her at times.
“I... had a somewhat concerning personal revelation, and decided that I needed some time to distance myself from the cause of the problem, and establish an emotional equilibrium again.” He chuckled briefly, before saying, “It... hasn’t really worked.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. Um... anything I can do to help? Though I have to admit I don’t really know what an emotional equilibrium would be, but...”
“It means... control. To clear my mind and get my feelings back in line.”
“Anyway I can help? I know feeding on emotions tends to... drain it? A bit. Yeah, drain it, sorta. Whatever, you probably know the feeling better than me.” She shrugged, a small smile touching her lips. “Or maybe I can smack whatever’s bothering you a couple of times. That always works.”
He pondered the idea of Bluey repeatedly slapping herself, before dismissing it as unpleasant. “I’m not sure that would help in this case, but the offer is noted and appreciated. In retrospect, if I wanted to get control of my emotions I shouldn’t have visited my mother.”
“Sometimes we need that emotional outlet. In the future, if you want, you can come to me and I can leech it off of you. It’s not... healthy, psychologically speaking to keep repressing, but, well, it is your special talent and if it’s what you really want despite the potential consequences, I’m willing to help you out however possible. And, you know, you can scream and crap, I get food, and the emotional explosion would be less than usual. Maybe it’d even be healthier.” She tried to do that usual grin of hers, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Maybe I should have gone into psychology instead.”
“That... doesn’t strike me as very wise...”
“Afraid I’ll drive my patients insane?” she asked sweetly.
“I was more thinking the idea of me... using you as some form as emotional outlet.” He frowned. “You’re not... That’s to say... I’d feel uncomfortable... using you like that.”
“You won’t be using me. Didn’t you hear what I said? I’d also be feeding as well, plus, I’m your friend. Just relax and let me help you.”
“Bluey, I’m happy to feed you, but what you’re suggesting is cruel. You’re my friend, not my trash can. I wouldn’t abuse who and what you are like that, you mean too much to me.”
“Are you even listening to yourself? You don’t show emotions to anyone right? Or at least very rarely. What I’m suggesting is that you show them to me, let me see what you feel, what you’re like on the inside and in return I... well... not kill or remove exactly, but suppress. Yeah, I help you suppress them, restore you to equilibrium.” She winced slightly and looked away. “I know that sounds intimate, but emotions are important to changelings and they are in no way trash. Got that?”
“If I were to show my feelings to you, I would want it be because I want to share them with you, not as a form of convenient disposal. Even as a being of logic, I find what you’re suggesting abusive and... wrong. You’re right, it is intimate, and the relationship you’re suggesting sounds... pornographic to me.”
“I just want to help,” she whispered.
“Then please stop making it so hard for me to control myself around you,” Eclipse blurted out. Immediately his eyes widened and he realised his control was completely gone. Panic flared in his chest, and he turned and started walking down the stairs as fast as he could.
“Wait!” Bluey leapt over his head and skidded to a stop in front of him. “What... what do you mean by that?”
His feeling violently resisted his attempts to bring them back under heel. “I’m... not sure,” he answered as he backed away a step. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“Would... would it help if I left?”
“No, I don’t want you to leave I...” He closed his eyes and finally managed to push everything back down. When he opened them again, he said, “I promise you, I don’t want you gone.”
She hesitated, eyes darting to the door and back to me. “You sure? I... I can leave if you want. If me being around is doing this then...”
“I... I just...” he frowned and looked past her. “I think I’m... I think I’m lonelier than I thought I was...”
She nodded slowly. “I... What are you saying exactly?”
His brow furrowed. “I think I have... an attraction to you...”
“And...” She swallowed nervously, wings ruffling as she glanced at the door. “So... um... are you saying...?”
“Normally I wouldn’t allow another pony to touch me... I enjoy it when you’re annoying me... and that since we’ve started spending so much time together, I’ve found it increasingly hard to keep my emotions under control. And I don’t just think it’s because you’re a changeling.”
“That’s... bad...?”
Eclipse didn’t offer an opinion.
“If your attraction is, well, bad then maybe I should leave...” A slight shimmer in her eyes could be seen as she said that and before Eclipse knew what he was doing, he reached out for her.
“No, please stay I... I just... I’m still trying to decide... what to do.”
“Do you, that is...” She licked her lips, mouth opening before she closed it again and looked away, mumbling something under her breath.
“What was that?” Eclipse asked, more interested than he thought he should be.
“If you wanted to try, you know...” Her hoof scuffled against the tiled floor and once more her words dissolved into mumbles.
“...I’m afraid I don’t know. What are you suggesting?”
“Dating!” she blurted before slamming both hooves over her muzzle.
A large part of him liked that idea. “...That is an option.”
“Do you... do you want to give it a shot?”
“...I think it would be wise to give appropriate consideration before reaching a decision like that.”
“That sounds like a yes,” she teased.
“Well I’m sorry to say it isn’t. I want to take the time to think about the matter before I agree. However this has affected me, I still don’t want to rush into a situation without due consideration.”
“Alright,” she sighed, “just remember that this is an emotional decision as well and not just purely logical so weigh it appropriately.” With a smile, she held out a hoof. “How about we get back to the barracks, I’m sure they’re tired of my grumbling and slave driving by now.”
He nodded. “That would be wise. And I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly last night.”
“You still owe me that drink by the way. Also, you’re seriously going to leave me hanging?” She shook her hoof at him. “Come on!”
A smirk touched the corner of his mouth and he trotted past her.
“Hey! Come on! Not cool dude, not cool at all!”
“It’s a good thing then, that being cool has never been a great concern for me.”
“I’m not leaving this spot you know! I’m not moving until I get my hoof bump!”
“Well, I could use the peace and quiet,” he said over his shoulder as he walked out the door.
“Get back here Eclipse!” she screamed as the door swung shut. “Don’t you dare ignore me! I demand my hoofbump. Give me my-”
Her voice faded as he trotted into the distance, an amused smile on his face.