The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack

by OCisbestpony


Chapter Two: Part Nine

Chapter Two: Part Nine

Bon-Bon snorted in frustration. The trek back to Dodge had proven to be even more laborious then she had expected. The actual walking part wasn't too bad, for Bon-Bon at least. Berry, on the other hoof, was an entirely different story. She didn't last even one hour before she had begun complaining (37 minutes and 42 seconds to be exact). Bon-Bon had never known Berry to be a complainer before, but then again, she had never known Berry to be this sober before. Near as she could tell, Berry had been sober since last night (Bon-Bon was sure that was a record for her). So, seeing her like this was something of a new experience. The mare had started simply enough. She had complained about being thirsty. It wasn't long until hunger kicked in. Then it was the sun. Then it was the dust. Then it was the glaring sun. Then it was the glaring sun that somehow manged to get through the thick cloud of dust. Then it was the dust-storm. Then it was the sandstorm. Then it was-

“STOP!” Bon-Bon finally shouted, turning as Berry had begun to dance (to shake off the sand you see).

Berry stood still for a moment, jaw agape. There was silence for a moment. “Stop what?” Berry asked innocently.

“Just-stop-COMPLAINING!” Bon-Bon said, loosing her composure for a moment.

“But I'm no-”

“YES YOU ARE.” Bon-Bon cut off Berry's meek reply. “For crying out loud, just … stop. Please.” Her eyes looking at Berry with a mixture of pleading and commanding.

“Well … my bad.” Berry responded. “I mean, I thought that if I said something that we could stop and, you know, take a rest?” she said, a hopeful question in her eyes.

“No Berry. We can't. We need to get to Dodge as quickly as we can. Lyra's probably waiting for us, and if we don't hurry, she'll probably come looking for us.” Bon-Bon said as she began taking breaths to clam herself.

“But, why? Why do we need to get to Dodge so quickly? What's going on Bon-Bon? You act like you know exactly what's going on and what to do about it. Why? How? And how in Equestria do you know about this Deadmare gully place, let alone that there are Dragons there!” Berry shot back.

“Berry … now's not the time.” Bon-Bon's voice became surprisingly dangerous. Unbeknownst to her, Berry suddenly wished that it had been Colgate talking. Colgate's dangerous voice was always great for a laugh, and Berry often would agitate the poor mare just to hear it.

“BB, we've been walking for hours and we still have a long ways to go. We have nothing BUT time!” Berry insisted.

“What did you just say?” Bon-Bon said, her eyes narrowing.

“I said we have nothing but time. I mean-”

“No,” Berry suddenly looked very uncomfortable at how Bon-Bon said that, “the part before that.”

“Uh...” Berry stumbled, “About how we've been walking for hours?”

“No. Before that.” her voice becoming close to threatening.

“Uh...” Berry hesitated, “B … B?” she ventured.

“I don't recall giving you permission to call me that.” Bon-Bon growled.

“I, uh … sorry?” Berry took a step back.

“Do not say that again. I like to think that we are friends Berry, do not change that fact.” Bon-Bon said, far too seriously. In all honesty, Bon-Bon had not meant to come off so meanly. In fact, had she her wish, they would have laughed about it and gone on their way. As it was however, Berry had hit a nerve.

A very bad nerve.

Bon-Bon shook her head, and suddenly looked much less scary. “I'm sorry Berry. I … don't know what came over me. It's just that, and I don't know why, but when ponies call me that, I get so angry. I remember the first time Lyra called me that. She thought it was funny that I got so mad, and she kept calling me that.” Bon-Bon once more shook her head, but with a smile on her face.

“What happened?” Berry asked, relaxing a little.

“Well, let's just say that it took the town hours to find her lyre, weeks for us to get out of the hospital, and months for the music shop to fix her poor instrument.” Bon-Bon reminisced. It was a distant memory now.

“Wait, WEEKS?” Berry said, her jaw opening.

Bon-Bon chuckled a little. She still remembered it like it was yesterday. What a brawl it was. She wondered if that poor street in Canterlot had finished repairing all of the pony shaped imprints the two of them made in the street and in the walls. She recalled the headlines of the next day: 'Pony-Pocalypse in Downtown Canterlot! Celestia in shock, awe!' Once she had regained her senses, reporters were all over her, trying everything they could to get an interview (There was even one reporter who tired to strap a mic and a camera to a Breezie and send it through their window. It actually would have succeeded had a guard-pony not sneezed at just the wrong moment.). Thankfully, Celestia had the good judgment to place guards around her and Lyra's rooms until they left the hospital and went home.

Thinking back on it, Bon-Bon suddenly felt puzzled. When the Princess had asked her why she had done it, she had told her it was because Lyra had called her 'BB' over and over, and that for some reason she just lost it. Bon-Bon was shocked when the Princess simply gave a thoughtful nod. That was it. She never ordered them to be punished, or imprisoned, or anything. They didn't even have to cover the costs of the damages they had caused (save that poor cart of quills that was bound for Ponyville, but even then they covered it because they felt simply terrible about the fact that most of the poor pony's quills had ended up in their hides). Now that she thought about it, it all seemed really strange. Granted, she knew the Princess was known for having a forgiving nature, but even that seemed a bit extreme for Her.

“Bon-Bon?” Berry asked, interrupting her thoughts. “You ok? You just kinda stopped talking.”

“Huh? Y-yeah. I just … I don't know. It seems kinda weird to me.” Bon-Bon began walking once more.

“What does?”

“Well, after we practically destroyed a part of the town, the Princess questioned us about it.”

“Was she mad?” Berry asked, a hint of excitement in her voice. She did always enjoy just a little gossip every now and again (a thing that Bon-Bon had long ago decided she had no time for.)

“No. Not at all. In fact, she seemed almost like she was half-expecting it, and was okay with it.” This train of thought began to bother her slightly.

“Well, perhaps you guys trashed a part of the city that needed renovating anyway! You know, perhaps you two ended up saving them a whole bunch of bits on deconstruction costs!” Berry said, with a big smile on her face.

Somehow, Bon-Bon doubted that.


It was not long before midnight when two visitors came knocking on Lyra's door. Unable to contain her excitement, she lept from her bed and soared through the air like a majestic mint-green swan. Gravity, and her still weak and frail frame, had other plans. So, contrary to her desire of throwing open the door to give (what she assumed were) her friends a hug, she instead ended up giving the ground her warm affections. While the floor was indeed all too happy to receive her warm hug, it knew that it was not meant to be the recipient, and thus was enveloped in a sense of bittersweet love. But the floor's feelings are not important. Rather, what is, is who had come to visit Lyra, and why it was that Lyra was so weak.

Looking up, She saw the silhouettes of two ponies in the doorway. As her eyes focused, she realized, to her disappointment, she did not recognize these ponies. It was a stallion and a mare that she had never seen before. They looked at her in surprise.

“You ok?” the mare asked.

“Uh, yeah...” Lyra said, her head-emptiness returning.

“Like a hoof?” asked the stallion, extending his hoof.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks.” Lyra grabbed it and stood on her wobbly legs. She could only hold it for a moment before they gave out. Luckily, it was about this time one of the resident nurses approached the two ponies in the doorway. She had opened her mouth to begin protesting them blocking the door when she saw Lyra's legs give out. Acting quickly, she used her magic and grabbed several pillows from a near-by bed and threw them under Lyra before she hit the ground again. Once again, the floor felt happy to have somepony appreciate it, or so it had thought. Had it known Lyra's true feelings for it, its poor wooden heart would have broken in half.

“Excuse me!” the nurse insisted as she shoved her way past the two. Looking down at Lyra she shook her head. “I know you're excited to see your friends, but you need to stop jumping out of the bed every time somepony knocks or opens that door. Here, let me help you.” The nurse lifted Lyra from her position on the ground to leaning next to the bed, then onto the bed proper. “Ms. Heartstrings, you can't keep doing this. You've got to get your rest. Doctor's orders.”

Lyra let out a sigh. Ok, it wasn't really her room per say. Rather, it was the patient room at the Dodge Junction Clinic. It wasn't a very big clinic, and so all of the patent beds were located in one long room at one end of the clinic. Total there were about 20 beds in the room, each separated by a heavy curtain. There was one entrance/exit to the room, and across from that was the bed Lyra had been on since the train had arrived just the other day. Or was it last night? Two nights? Lyra wasn't too sure. Time had passed in a very funny way since she had been admitted.

Though most of the time she did feel like it was her own room. There were only two other patents in there, and both of them were more or less at the other ends of it. Not to mention that they were quiet as mice. The only noise anypony made was when a visitor would come, then poor Lyra would once more leap from her bed, and once more end up hugging the floor.

Given that this happened several times, once can understand how the floor could end up getting the wrong impression.

Tonight's visitors exchanged confused glances. “Uh, nurse, we were told our little foal was here?” the stallion said.

“Huh? Oh! You must be Mr. and Ms. Tot-Lure. Yes, please, right this way.” The nurse said pleasantly, leading them to the left. Lyra crossed her front legs and harumphed, blowing a bit of hair out of her eyes. It didn't take long until she heard the cries of a joyous family reunion taking place. The nurse left the family to be, informing them that she would be back in a bit to escort them (the parents) out so that the other patents could get some rest. Lyra overheard how the parents had heard about the train accident and had come as quickly as they could.

“Were you scared?” she heard the mother ask.

“Nawp! I ad Da GAITH and POWAPUL Trikz and Radbow Gash!” came just the cutest little voice she had eve-Hey! That was the foal from the train! She turned her head to the sound.

“Oh good, I'm glad.” replied the mother.

“Mommy and Daddy have to go bye-bye for the night, but we'll be back first thing in the morning, ok?” the stallion said, fighting back tears. Lyra's heart melted slightly.

“Otay!” came the very enthusiastic response. And with that, she heard the two of them walk out while talking softly to each other. They were understandably concerned and spent most of their time wishing that they could spend the night here. Lyra smiled. Hearing them put her in a good mood. While it was kinda sad that a child had ended up in a clinic, the fact that the little foal had such caring parents plucked the 'ol heartstrings.

The whole encounter made her think of her own folks. Well, her folk. Her father. She never knew her mother. Her father had adopted her from a foal-phanage in Filly Delphia. She remembered that she had been pretty scared the first time he brought her home, but he treated her like a little princess. He was a humble pony. He lived in a humble apartment and had a humble job. He never married, not for lack of trying though. And he usually had girlfriends who were nice to Lyra. But, for one reason or another, things just never worked out. And while Lyra often wished for a mother in the home, her father did what he could to fill the role. Thinking about him made her smile all the more. She made a note to contact him once they all got back to Ponyville. Granted, she knew that he would most likely have an aneurysm over the idea of his little girl getting into so much trouble. But they both knew that deep down inside, he would be proud of her. Just like the time when she joined up with th-

Knock Knock

Once more the floor felt the love, as poor Lyra lept from her bed and crashed onto it.

“Oh for crying out loud, get up Lyra!” came a voice that she knew all too well. Grinning uncontrollably from ear to ear, She looked up at the doorway to see two mares silhouetted against the light of the hallway. And she would know one of those silhouettes from anywhere.

“BON-BON!” Lyra shouted with tears in her eyes.

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes. “I've been gone for a day and a half, calm down.” After a moment's pause, she then added softy, “It's good to see you too Lyra.”

Lyra made to stand once more, but was interrupted when a sudden swarm of pillows knocked her legs out from under her. “Ms Heartstrings! Would you PLEASE stop doing that? You need to rest!” the nurse all but shouted. Lyra opened her mouth in protest, but was cut of by the nurse who had once again shoved her way into the room. “No objections young lady!” The nurse once more helped her to the bed, then turned to the two standing in the doorway. “Pardon me, who are you here to see again?”

“Her.” Said Bon-Bon, pointing a hoof at Lyra (who grinned even wider in response).

“I see. And your names?”

“Bon-Bon and Berry Punch.” Berry said. The nurse nodded as she pulled out a notepad and took a note.

Wait, where was Colgate?

“I'm sorry, it's just that ever since she woke up, she's been doing that every time somepony comes knocking. It's been driving all of us here at the clinic nuts! Anycase, I'm glad you finally came, perhaps now she'll stop jumping out of bed.” She turned to Lyra, “Am I right Ms. Heartstrings?” she said rather firmly.

“Yes mam.” Lyra replied somewhat timidly (it was an act, but the nurse bought it. Lyra had plenty of experience with this sort of thing.)

“Good. Now you two are allowed some brief visitation time, then I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to return in the morning. The patients here need their rest.” the nurse said kindly as she left (but not without shooting a quick 'I've got my eyes on you' look at Lyra on her way out).

There was a moment of silence that hung in the air. It was a pleasant silence. It was filled with an expectation that the next words would be good words. Kind words. The words exchanged by friends who have been absent from each other for far too long.

For Lyra anyway. Berry was feeling a bit more antsy about it, and Bon-Bon simply stood there stoically, her expression changing from the warm smile, to an unreadable look of business.

Finally, Lyra asked the question. “Where's Colgate?”

“She's gone.” Bon-Bon said flatly. Lyra knew that tone. It was the tone Bon-Bon took when the time for action, not words, was upon them. Or, in other words, when horseapples became very real (or hit the fan. Personally, she was somewhat more fond of the latter phrase).

If she was using that tone, then Lyra knew that life was about to get exciting indeed. “I see. Where is she?” Lyra replied in a similar voice. Bon-Bon actually had several serious business voices she would use. And depending on which one she used, Lyra was able to quickly guess the both the nature and severity of the situation on hoof. In this case, it was clear that Colgate was in very real danger and that it would fall upon them to save her.

“Foalnapped.”

“When?”

“Train.”

“Where?”

“Deadmare”

“When?”

“First light.”

“Alright.” Lyra said with a small nod. When it came to matters this important, their communication was always short and to the point.

“Hold on,” Berry said. “What just happened?” she looked between the two of them with some confusion. Wait, was Berry sober? She must be. Berry never questioned things like this.

“Lyra, you tell her, I'm going to get things ready.” Bon-Bon replied, mildly annoyed, and then left.

Berry then turned to Lyra, a look of expectation on her face.

“Well, I mean, did you really not get what we just said?” Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you guys just said it so fast!” Berry objected.

“Oh, right.” Lyra forgot for a moment that it was difficult (by design) for other ponies to understand her and Bon-Bon when they were being that serious. Granted, if you could keep up with what them, it wasn't hard to understand, but that whole exchange took place in just over 1 ¾ seconds. Slow for the two of them, it would seem that they were a little out of practice. By contrast, it would take a normal pony roughly 3-4 seconds to have that exchange. “Well, basically, she just told me that Colgate got foalnapped when the train got attacked and that she thinks that she's at Deadmare gully. And,” she sighed slightly, “that we're leaving at first light to go there.”

Berry looked at her with a bit of awe, or was that confusion? “You guys said all that, that quickly?”

“Yeah. Bon-Bon and I had to figure out a way to talk to each other fast, too fast for anypony to understand.” Lyra shrugged.

Berry shook her head. “Why?” she was definitely confused.

“Well...” she paused. “I … uh … don't really remember what it was exactly that made us do that …” Which was indeed true. Lyra couldn't recall what event caused their need to talk like that. There was however, a bit more to the story then that, but that was something Berry didn't need to know.

“Oh … I see,” Berry looked disappointed. “Hey, Lyra?” Berry said after several moments of silence, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did!” Lyra said with a grin.

“Lyra!” Berry nearly shouted.

“Sure, what's up?”

“Look, I asked Bon-Bon about this while we were coming back, but, well, after I called her 'BB' by accident she just kinda stayed quiet the whole time.”

“Wait, you called her 'BB'?” Lyra was shocked. “What happened?”

“Well, not much. She just got kinda upset and told me about what happened when you called her that.” Berry simply shrugged. Lyra was glad. It looked like Bon-Bon was getting better about it after all. While both she and Bon-Bon remember that with smiles on their faces, going through that wasn't nearly as fun.

“That's good. So what's up?”

“Well, it's just that Bon-Bon always seems like she knows what's going on. Like, how does she know about Deadmare? And how would she know that Dragons would be there?”

“Wait, there are dragons at Deadmare? That's gonna suck...” Lyra's displeasure of the news clearly showed on her face.

“See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! I've never even heard of Deadmare, let alone know why it's a bad thing that dragons are there! How do you two know? What do you know? What's going on?” Berry's voice was getting a bit desperate. It was clear that this all bothered her greatly.

Lyra was a little confused herself. She was a bit out of the loop. She had been, after all, stuck in the clinic for the past day an a half. However, she had a feeling that she knew what Berry was really asking. “Look Berry, I don't know what happened to the three of you, I've been cooped up in this clinic since the train pulled in, so I can't really help you there, but at least I can tell you about Deadmare.” Lyra's head began to feel vacant again.

It was a really strange feeling, and not a very pleasant one at that. It felt like the opposite of pain, but not. Like, a massive headache that felt like her head was imploding rather then exploding. She'd been feeling like that on and off since they finally got that cloth off of her horn. From what the doctor had told her, it had proved to be extremely hard. Attempts to remove it via magic flat-out failed and often caused some kind of backlash. Attempting to remove it by hoof caused one of the poor nurses to end up as a patient for a short time, as it had caused the poor pony to go flying through a wall (see below for a commentary on the structural integrity of Equestrian walls). Attempts to remove it using tools met with similar fates of the poor ponies using them, but with much more mild results. It wasn't until a griffin, that worked there from time to time as a visiting doctor, had tried to remove it had the operation proven successful.

Once the cloth had been removed, Lyra had awoken, but found herself completely drained. She didn't even have enough energy to eat, literally. Her body did not have enough energy for digestion. Let alone using magic. When she did get enough strength back to try using magic, she found out that she was unable to. Her attempts to do so simply felt like they had been sucked into a hole in her horn. As time passed however, it felt as though said hole was slowly getting filled, and she was getting more and more of her energy back. As for the cloth on her horn, it had been sent back to Canterlot for examination.

“What do you want to know?” Lyra asked.

“What can you tell me?” she responded.

“Oh colt … this is going to take awhile. Get comfy …” she began.





*Note on walls in Equestria: Walls in Equestria serve their purpose quite nicely. They hold out and in the various things that they are supposed to. And, on the whole, have proven to be quite resilient. That said, there is a most curious phenomenon that occurs when a pony is propelled with any significant amount of force into one of these walls. Normally, the pony in question should simply and harmlessly (harmless to the wall mind you) bounce off with nary a scratch to the wall. However, scientific observation had yielded a most curious event indeed. As the pony projectile approaches the wall, the mass of the pony in question is increased by an exponent equal or greater to the force with which they were propelled. Now, this dramatic increase in mass occurs only within hairs of the wall. And, once the target had made contact with the wall, the mass quickly dissipates into the wall, thus causing pony-shaped imprints and holes. This phenomenon is occurs more then once if the subject passes through one wall and into another. However, the mass accumulated for the second impact is much less as much of the force of propulsion was absorbed by the first wall. So, it is theoretically possible for a pony to pass through multiple walls, but in practice said event would prove to be rare indeed.